I Feel like a Slave

[cool 0]

Guys i dnt know how to tell all that in just one Post, but will try to explain the Situation

My Wife and Me met online in 2005 decided to meet in person and when she went back to US filed for me.

came to US got married, even before we got married she asked me to look for a Job, because she was fired from her retail job, even before i got my visa she used to say once u come i will stop working.

well on every thing she have different "Alien" opinion then me .. actually from every body else around.. she dnt like to have any friends and not even saying hello to neighbors and i m totaly different so we have argument all the time about all the things

well 3rd week of my arrival in US i got job it was 4th or 3rd day of our marrige.. i m working... she decided to move to a Big apartment so "SHE" decided that we are going to move 3 bedroom apartment... she said it will be ok she gets partial disability money..

after 1st month of paying rent it was too much and she asked her ex husband to move with us so he can help in rent..

WHAT could i do?? i earn 1200$ and just rent was 830$ .. more over she used to use her ex husband's car whenever needed... so then she started saying buying me a CAR, we went to a car place choose a car financed it. i(Now i realised almost after one year that we have 25% APR because she have very bad credit)

i mean all this mess in her life and i feel like she got me here just to make her life easy.... Her ex husband moved out becasue we moved to a small apartment after few months .. infact we moved about 6 times in just 17 Months:S

i m amazed "Thats American Life"

when i was back home she said to me and my mom .... oh your son dnt have to pay me any thing just help me in the Bills... but eventually every thing came on my shoulders now ... i can not just explain all of this pain i m going through i feel so embarrassed. she is addicted to Alcohal and smoking so i have to pay for every thing.

Some time when we argue she says she will go to USCIS and remove my file...when i say that i will file against u that u r abusing me and using me to make her life better. she Calls me a Terrorist because i m Muslim, she says sorry then.

She is on Prozac and Paxil.

is she right in saying that i am responsible for her all needs she dnt have to work?

we will be married 2 years this agust still waiting for green card.

Please give your opinions

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

Looks like you found the bottom of the barrell... a lazy alcoholic with bad credit who just wants to sit home all day while you tire away working to buy her everything that she "needs".

Personally I think she went looking for any foreigner to bring here to work to support all her bad habits. You should have seen this coming. But maybe you didn't care as long as she got you a greencard, but it's worse than you thought it would be. I'm just guessing.

What advice are you looking for? What you should do now is dump and run. Go back home, you'll be better off.

[scandal 951]

Please give your opinions

Well, since you'd like our opinions, I'll happily share mine with you. I may be wrong of course, but this truly is just my opinion.

[It's me 1]

Oh my, I'm so so sorry for you

[Peace be still 6]

Aoodhoo billahi meen ash-shaytan ir-rajeem. I am so glad that you got your story out. So many of my Muslim brothers are bafooned by the sweet fragrance of words that come from a viber's mouth. These women sale false dreams and promises. It's so sad that these men don't see it coming. I explained what credit ment to my husband and the importance of having good credit. Stay in the relationship since you invested this much, and try to make it work, but if it doesn't after a few years then like any other American Citizen Divorce her. Even if you married a non believer there should still be some core principles like Respect, honesty, trust, dignity. She stripped you from all of that. What do you mean that her ex husband moved into the house with the two of you. Sounds like to me that they both used you like a slave in the cotton fields in the back woods of Georgia. Get a good lawyer and see what your options are. Don't let her know a thing. Just go on as if everything is fine. And if this woman doesn't change and can't respect what you have to say then pray about the next move, and make it a wise one. I would love for you to write about some of the warning signs that she had before you married her that allot of men over look. That is so insane that you had to work right after you got married. I told my husband that he should get acclimated to the community, and the way of life before he thinks about working. I am thinking about 3mos. He should have his driver licence and a piece of car that I will buy him. Heck he can't drive my SUV (LOL) not quit yet... La hawla wa la quwata illa Billah

[trillium13 84]

She's using you so she doesn't have to get off her lazy #### and get a job. She's holding the green card over your head to try to force you to do it. "Nuff said.

Is this what you want out of life?

[Peace be still 6]

Please give your opinions

Well, since you'd like our opinions, I'll happily share mine with you. I may be wrong of course, but this truly is just my opinion.

What do you mean by don't feed the troll

Looks like you found the bottom of the barrell... a lazy alcoholic with bad credit who just wants to sit home all day while you tire away working to buy her everything that she "needs".

Personally I think she went looking for any foreigner to bring here to work to support all her bad habits. You should have seen this coming. But maybe you didn't care as long as she got you a greencard, but it's worse than you thought it would be. I'm just guessing.

What advice are you looking for? What you should do now is dump and run. Go back home, you'll be better off.

[Peace be still 6]

Guys i dnt know how to tell all that in just one Post, but will try to explain the Situation

My Wife and Me met online in 2005 decided to meet in person and when she went back to US filed for me.

came to US got married, even before we got married she asked me to look for a Job, because she was fired from her retail job, even before i got my visa she used to say once u come i will stop working.

well on every thing she have different "Alien" opinion then me .. actually from every body else around.. she dnt like to have any friends and not even saying hello to neighbors and i m totaly different so we have argument all the time about all the things

well 3rd week of my arrival in US i got job it was 4th or 3rd day of our marrige.. i m working... she decided to move to a Big apartment so "SHE" decided that we are going to move 3 bedroom apartment... she said it will be ok she gets partial disability money..

after 1st month of paying rent it was too much and she asked her ex husband to move with us so he can help in rent..

WHAT could i do?? i earn 1200$ and just rent was 830$ .. more over she used to use her ex husband's car whenever needed... so then she started saying buying me a CAR, we went to a car place choose a car financed it. i(Now i realised almost after one year that we have 25% APR because she have very bad credit)

i mean all this mess in her life and i feel like she got me here just to make her life easy.... Her ex husband moved out becasue we moved to a small apartment after few months .. infact we moved about 6 times in just 17 Months:S

i m amazed "Thats American Life"

when i was back home she said to me and my mom .... oh your son dnt have to pay me any thing just help me in the Bills... but eventually every thing came on my shoulders now ... i can not just explain all of this pain i m going through i feel so embarrassed. she is addicted to Alcohal and smoking so i have to pay for every thing.

Some time when we argue she says she will go to USCIS and remove my file...when i say that i will file against u that u r abusing me and using me to make her life better. she Calls me a Terrorist because i m Muslim, she says sorry then.

She is on Prozac and Paxil.

is she right in saying that i am responsible for her all needs she dnt have to work?

we will be married 2 years this agust still waiting for green card.

Please give your opinions

This is a form of Modern day Pimping being done by American Women/with the ex husband against their foreign Husbands.

[scandal 951]

What do you mean by don't feed the troll

What I mean is... there are people who create an ID on VisaJourney so that they can post a provocative message, hoping to get a rise out of responders. This is called "trolling" - it's common not just on VJ but in general on the Internet. On VJ it's been happening a fair bit.

Am I certain that 'cool' is a troll? Not 100%. I may be wrong. If he really is an innocent victim, then your good wishes for him are deserved. But if not, I'd suggest letting this thread die out as quickly as possible. Hence, "don't feed the troll".

[GheTToJaTTi 0]

well first of all it seems like she is lazy and probably went looking to get a guy from different country so she can hold the whole green card over your head... but at the same time why are u letting her do whatever she wants... be a man and tell her something.. my husband even here yet and i already told him how the whole credit report works lol... but what i dont get is when u say "oh your son dnt have to pay me any thing just help me in the Bills..." what does that even mean.. if u guys are married u share everything.. it seems more like ohh im gonna marry ur son but all he has to do is help with the bills and thats how he can pay me back for marrying him????????????????? (no offense)

[sara..... 371]

i really hope in a way that u r a troll because what u have just said makes me sick that anyone could treat someone they are suppose to love like that. no offense intended.

hmmm well i dont know about anyone else in what they have told their fiance or husbands family, but i was very clear i and my parents will support him until he is able to work, and passes his exams to be a doctor here after that nope, it dont mean everything will fall all on him but as he will make like ten times more than i ever will i do expect him to take care of me and our child or children.

but i do find it offensive that someone from my country would tell anyone they are engaged to ur married to that u have to help with bills its a joint venture not solo. and moving the x in would have been the end for me.

i will add u to my prayers and may Allah help guide u to what u need to do to be safe and have a happy future

sara

Edited May 21, 2009 by estadia

[cool 0]

i m not a Troll.

she dnt like the friends i make, so i have no body to share what i m going through. when she starts talking about something it takes a hour to stop her some time a Day.. so she got on my nerves last nite saying that U need to look for an other better job"not for me but for u". and i said since i stepped to this country i did not have any space to do any thing... she did not even take me to show the city.. only place she showed me was where i work now

She used to be so nice before i came here, as time came closer of my arrival she started talking about what i m gonna do here"Job".

about her ex husband she told me that he helped her in hard times which i later found out that they did a "Paper Marriage" means he paid her money to stayed married until he got Greencard.

She used to tell me that she make more then 3000$ a month when i was back home, i was not greedy to use her for my joys but i m just mentioning.

she goes out to club some time with her friend and come home drunk around 5 Am and some time dnt even bother to come home until 9 AM.

and me only place i go to is Work, and then home... i cant even stand close to a Female because she will blow like a bomb but she can talk with any body and tells me that when she can not get help from me she have to get it other ways through friends.... help means $$$$$

she cries about ohh i have no money and i tell her i guess u have to work to earn money.

i Can write a whole book about her.

and yes i created an Id just to discuss my problem, i used to be a well known member here while i was waiting for my k1 visa nad she checks computer and this site all the time to pick something against me.

I just want to know that what law says here about marriages? specially when u bring a spouse from overseas?

is this true that just because i m man i have to take care of here luxuries?

i dnt want to go back home now because it took me alot to make my family agree about our marriage. i used to tell my parents that our life will be better.

i can not even have a Account in any bank now because she used to deposit checks in my account and she signed some body else's checks and deposited in my account which was a fraud .... so now i m in Chex systems for something i did not do .

[cool 0]

well first of all it seems like she is lazy and probably went looking to get a guy from different country so she can hold the whole green card over your head... but at the same time why are u letting her do whatever she wants... be a man and tell her something.. my husband even here yet and i already told him how the whole credit report works lol... but what i dont get is when u say "oh your son dnt have to pay me any thing just help me in the Bills..." what does that even mean.. if u guys are married u share everything.. it seems more like ohh im gonna marry ur son but all he has to do is help with the bills and thats how he can pay me back for marrying him????????????????? (no offense)

well i have tried every way to make her understand the things, but she thinks that world is against her for no reason and she is the Right and Innocent one.

[BunzTheMagicSnail 2]

i am taking it that this woman is much older than you

[Elham 1]

Why don't you finish the misery and leave? Do you want to tolerate the situation, let her misuse you and understimate you just because of a "green card"? Does it woth it really?