Restored!

[Twisted K 2]

Sheesh ####### is all this #######?

this is giving ken a run for his money.

I can still blame this on being "new" here, but who is Ken?

a vj legend!

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=136611

Wow! Read the Ken thread - I'm totally addicted to Ken and Valsu!

i am reading, i am reading, and i am definitely hooked. i am supposed to be working, but am intrigued by "the ken". i am on page 14 of the so far 113. good novel/soap opera, movie. thanks for the tip

[pcana 0]

Sorry no xtians @ my house. Quote Quran and maybe I'll listen brotha

Huh?? again and again, do you ever make sense, I mean ever??

[melusine 5]

and one time again... when is the hearing ????

[himher 634]

Pulling things from locked threads is not a violation of TOS. It's actually a helpful (and sometimes clever) tool to establish context The issues remain the same as in the original posts and basically boil down to the fundamental fact that you're just another guy, one of many millions (probably billions) by the way, including some very good individuals in your own bible, who put the immediate, short-term needs of his d--k over the long-term needs of his family and got himself and his family in trouble because of it. You think that makes you unique or special? bleh. THAT, my friend, can't be twisted, turned into, or interpreted as any kind of a miracle no matter now many bible verses you attach to the footnote of the story. I pulled some verses for you and anyone else who plans to start this process and can't man up enough to follow through on it:

Dont start something you aren't man enough to finish

Dont bite on something you can't chew

Dont let your mouth write checks your a$$ can't cash

Just because a post may make you feel bad doesn't make it a judgement. This situation is what it is and if some posts put you into "justification and excuse" overdrive mode or make you feel as though you need to show how holy and christian you are then by all means this is a public forum and that's your right.

Sorry if some of you don't like my comments and/or delivery. But in my opinion (and of course its only my opinion) this story is a fraud. I'm calling like I see it, and that's the whole point of an open forum. For those of you that are wholeheartedly supporting and advising the OP, that's your prerogative.

My problem with the OP started with the TITLE of the first thread. This is the woman he supposed LOVES with all his heart and would do ANYTHING for, right???? and in the title of the thread, he basically calls her a VISA FRAUD. What kind of love is that? And who would want to chase after (hunt down) a wife that you claim to all is a Visa Fraud?

The whole story is very suspect. His behavior is borderline abusive (and we're only hearing HIS side of the story) and his facts are questionable AT BEST. I posed this question regarding his finances and NEVER got an answer: Why couldn't he take out a home equity loan, or a loan against his 401K. I refuse to believe that an ADULT with two young children would be in a situation that you can't scrape up $1500. I'll bet he would find the money if his children were sick and needed medical attention. There was no priority put on his wife's situation. Plain and simple.

The problem you have is called "lack of understanding." You just take bits and pieces of anything that is said, and add to, take away from, and twist it up to mean something entirely different. Perhaps that is why folks aren't putting a lot of stock into things you say.

Either way, I can easily answer your over-zealous questions.

First, your opinions are things you're pulling from LOCKED threads, and still discussing those things in another thread not dealing with those issues any longer. First, I suggest you reconsider reposting materials from LOCKED threads, as I'm sure that's a violation of ToS on the VJ forums.

In the original thread, I placed an analysis of all the facts out for others to evaluate, and tell me if fraudulent behavior can be suspected. By doing so, that does NOT mean I loved my wife any less. Love is a two-way street, thank you, and I was trying to make sure I wasn't victim of a fraudulent situation for the sake of my children. Yes, I love my wife, but too many questions were left unanswered in the abruptness of her departure. How you fail to see that, I cannot even begin to imagine. Many people have indeed been victims of fraud, and they allowed love to blind them until it was too late to recover. In such cases, the "victim" became the "predator," and I thank my God in heaven that my wife turned out to NOT be a fraud. Of course, I'm sure that disappoints you, and it's probably why you're so upset.

Next, understand that I was only taking necessary precautions--some of us would call that wisdom. I still loved my wife, and wanted to correct everything that had been broken--which is why I went through many hours of marriage and legal counseling, therapy, and prayer. Obviously, I wanted to let her know that, and give her a renewed faith in our marriage.

As for my finances, I answered you TWICE in former threads. You just failed to read the responses. Here, I will tell you again: I just bought this home 8 months ago--it is impossible to get a home equity loan on your home when you have NO equity. Next, I do not have a 401K plan, as I told you before. Also, why is it hard to believe that an adult with two children cannot scrape up $1500? I was a SINGLE parent of two children, who was victim of previous divorce. You think it's easy for single men and women to build up a savings while raising children alone when all their money goes toward child care, and paying their own bills, and the bills or their ex-spouse?

My exwife cheated on me after 7 years of marriage with another married man, and ran off, leaving me holding the basket of bills (hers and mine) not many years back. She hasn't bothered paying her child support, and I was actually transfering into full-time Pharmacy school at the time she left--which meant I had to cut my schooling short to find two full-time jobs to support my children and the bills of two people, formerly covered by two incomes. Now I have to pay back student loans without the Pharmacy degree to cover them, along with other obligations I could not avoid. I bought a home, yes, but only because it was cheaper than the apartments in my area--and I barely qualified for it. It has been a struggle for me, as it would be for any single parent. We have survived, nonetheless. Each time I do get money saved up, some emergency takes place, and I lose it. Such is life, however, and there are people that have it much worse than me.

No one is above life's trials, and the more you judge others about their situations, the more prone you make yourself to becoming victim of the same circumstances.

Take heed what is stated in St. Matthew 7

1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

3 And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

4 Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye?

5 Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.

I can only suggest to you to calm down, and be more respectful toward others' situations. You never know who may be helping you out of a situation of your own down the road--could be the same person(s) you lay your attacks on.

[bhajishah 4]

Nah thats why i stay away from south america, I use to be a good salsa dancer in my time though..

[bhajishah 4]

Way to take him down him/her !!! dont think he is listening , however, are joyous because of your good works!!

[himher 634]

Subhan'Allah

Way to take him down him/her !!! dont think he is listening , however, are joyous because of your good works!!

[bhajishah 4]

If not then you should be brother!!!

[Valsu 1]

Do you honestly believe that all your problems are over? ....hmmmm Remember what got her in the mess she is in? I think that you have a lot of work to do where your marriage is concerned!I also think that you rejoicing is premature at this stage.

Quite childish and pointless to say you are "having fun" with certain replies ;while your wife is locked up!

I never said I believed all our problems are over--just some major ones which she previously wouldn't take the time to discuss with me. The "main" problem we had was communication. She never opened up to me and explained how she felt. She just bottled it all up inside. She seems to have grown past that now, and just speaks exactly what is on her mind. I'm loving our heightened communication now. We certainly have tons of work on our marriage down the road (as does anyone who is married), and I will rejoice at any step of improvement, no matter how great or small.

Also, please quote me correctly. I did not say I was "having fun with certain replies." I said, "I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with."

I agree it is pointless, but it's certainly not childish to respond to the flamers with wittiness. As for my wife, yes, she's locked up, and there's nothing I can do about it, other than the things I've done already. I'm not going to mope around and let my life drift from me in great depression over it--especially since my wife and I have fixed our communication barrier. I have to keep a positive attitude--especially for the sake of my children looking up to me. My wife is keeping a very positive attitude through this as well, now that we've opened our communications.

and one time again... when is the hearing ????

I answered you earlier when you asked.

Steps taken thus far:

AOS/EAD was applied for first.

Attorney filed a motion to establish a hearing.

Soon as the motion is granted, the court will have 72 hrs to issue my wife a bond hearing.

Now, we're in the waiting process for the motion to take place. (current situation)

Soon as the bail bond hearing takes place, and she gets a bail, I can bail her out and bring her home while we await the trial.

After that, there are two options:

We can file a motion to have the trial dropped based on having applied for AOS prior to the bail hearing; or we can go to the trial and take the risk before the judge--at which point he will determine whether or not we have a bona-fida marriage, and either deport her, or grant her immediate status on the spot.

We're going with the former, as the latter involves way too many risks, and is much more expensive in legal fees.

Either way, it's going to be an expensive and lengthy process.

[chavelle 6]

Do you honestly believe that all your problems are over? ....hmmmm Remember what got her in the mess she is in? I think that you have a lot of work to do where your marriage is concerned!I also think that you rejoicing is premature at this stage.

Quite childish and pointless to say you are "having fun" with certain replies ;while your wife is locked up!

I never said I believed all our problems are over--just some major ones which she previously wouldn't take the time to discuss with me. The "main" problem we had was communication. She never opened up to me and explained how she felt. She just bottled it all up inside. She seems to have grown past that now, and just speaks exactly what is on her mind. I'm loving our heightened communication now. We certainly have tons of work on our marriage down the road (as does anyone who is married), and I will rejoice at any step of improvement, no matter how great or small.

Also, please quote me correctly. I did not say I was "having fun with certain replies." I said, "I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with."

I agree it is pointless, but it's certainly not childish to respond to the flamers with wittiness. As for my wife, yes, she's locked up, and there's nothing I can do about it, other than the things I've done already. I'm not going to mope around and let my life drift from me in great depression over it--especially since my wife and I have fixed our communication barrier. I have to keep a positive attitude--especially for the sake of my children looking up to me. My wife is keeping a very positive attitude through this as well, now that we've opened our communications.

and one time again... when is the hearing ????

I answered you earlier when you asked.

Steps taken thus far:

AOS/EAD was applied for first.

Attorney filed a motion to establish a hearing.

Soon as the motion is granted, the court will have 72 hrs to issue my wife a bond hearing.

Now, we're in the waiting process for the motion to take place. (current situation)

Soon as the bail bond hearing takes place, and she gets a bail, I can bail her out and bring her home while we await the trial.

After that, there are two options:

We can file a motion to have the trial dropped based on having applied for AOS prior to the bail hearing; or we can go to the trial and take the risk before the judge--at which point he will determine whether or not we have a bona-fida marriage, and either deport her, or grant her immediate status on the spot.

We're going with the former, as the latter involves way too many risks, and is much more expensive in legal fees.

Either way, it's going to be an expensive and lengthy process.

Hmmmm... I felt sorry for you at the begining of this thread but now, I am not sure who is the victim in all this.

[nycgirl 13]

Also, please quote me correctly. I did not say I was "having fun with certain replies." I said, "I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with."

I agree it is pointless, but it's certainly not childish to respond to the flamers with wittiness.

When do the witty responses begin?? I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaiting.

Couple questions: You filed initial papers for your wife (fiance visa) after knowing her for 3 weeks, correct?? Looking back, do you think that was wise?

When you "worked out all your problems" during the prison visit, did you happen to bring up the fact that she called you a "slave driver" to her sister? Is that resolved?

How do you plan to pay the attorney?

Edited December 17, 2008 by nycgirl

[zqt3344 21]

Why can't we all be friends and get along peacefully during this holiday season. Merry Christmas to all may Santa bring you many nice gifts!

Do you honestly believe that all your problems are over? ....hmmmm Remember what got her in the mess she is in? I think that you have a lot of work to do where your marriage is concerned!I also think that you rejoicing is premature at this stage.

Quite childish and pointless to say you are "having fun" with certain replies ;while your wife is locked up!

I never said I believed all our problems are over--just some major ones which she previously wouldn't take the time to discuss with me. The "main" problem we had was communication. She never opened up to me and explained how she felt. She just bottled it all up inside. She seems to have grown past that now, and just speaks exactly what is on her mind. I'm loving our heightened communication now. We certainly have tons of work on our marriage down the road (as does anyone who is married), and I will rejoice at any step of improvement, no matter how great or small.

Also, please quote me correctly. I did not say I was "having fun with certain replies." I said, "I will not respond to every "attack," but who knows which ones I may go out of my way to have fun with."

I agree it is pointless, but it's certainly not childish to respond to the flamers with wittiness. As for my wife, yes, she's locked up, and there's nothing I can do about it, other than the things I've done already. I'm not going to mope around and let my life drift from me in great depression over it--especially since my wife and I have fixed our communication barrier. I have to keep a positive attitude--especially for the sake of my children looking up to me. My wife is keeping a very positive attitude through this as well, now that we've opened our communications.

and one time again... when is the hearing ????

I answered you earlier when you asked.

Steps taken thus far:

AOS/EAD was applied for first.

Attorney filed a motion to establish a hearing.

Soon as the motion is granted, the court will have 72 hrs to issue my wife a bond hearing.

Now, we're in the waiting process for the motion to take place. (current situation)

Soon as the bail bond hearing takes place, and she gets a bail, I can bail her out and bring her home while we await the trial.

After that, there are two options:

We can file a motion to have the trial dropped based on having applied for AOS prior to the bail hearing; or we can go to the trial and take the risk before the judge--at which point he will determine whether or not we have a bona-fida marriage, and either deport her, or grant her immediate status on the spot.

We're going with the former, as the latter involves way too many risks, and is much more expensive in legal fees.

Either way, it's going to be an expensive and lengthy process.

Hmmmm... I felt sorry for you at the begining of this thread but now, I am not sure who is the victim in all this.

[nycgirl 13]

Do you think his wife is having a merry christmas? Do you think that she's in peace sitting and rotting in prison?????

As objectionable as anyone may find my comments, I suppose the venom comes as a direct result of my sympathy for this woman.

Although it is locked, you can still read the original thread. I encourage you all to do so. If you have empathy and support for this man, then we are seeing very different things!!

[bhajishah 4]

well he @ v least honoring the sanctaty of marriage.he could move on get another.(have u used your 2 visa limit??)

[Valsu 1]

When do the witty responses begin?? I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaiting.

Couple questions: You filed initial papers for your wife (fiance visa) after knowing her for 3 weeks, correct?? Looking back, do you think that was wise?

When you "worked out all your problems" during the prison visit, did you happen to bring up the fact that she called you a "slave driver" to her sister? Is that resolved?

How do you plan to pay the attorney?

No, I knew her much longer than three weeks. Not sure where you're getting that from.

Yeap, resolved all of our major issues. She told me she just said a lot of things in anger. Something we both had been guilty of.

Well, I was going to ask you to pay for her attorney, but decided to start selling everything in our home on eBay, etc, instead, and try to come up with the monies with what we have first. The attorney gave me payment arrangements as well.