Restored!

[maliciant 7]

This thread moves too fast for me... but yikes...

the mess she got herself in to

She had 8-10 months of help arranging that mess, she walked out but she had good reasons, had AOS been filed her walking out would not have created that mess, not that I think things would have deteriorated to the point they had, if AOS had been filed in a timely manner. If you both continue to blame the other for all the problems then you will never get past it.

[nycgirl 13]

My dear Val. You chose to post the details of your life on a pubic forum. As such, you open yourself up to criticism, support, empathy or whatever other responses your posts conjure up. Those posts just happen to fill me with doubt as to your honesty and intentions. Many others doubt your story, but I am the only one you attack... Hysterical.

I also find it funny to me..... that you previously posted that your wife would NEVER read these threads ( I believe that you mentioned 8 billion people blah blah blah), and now you are saying that she is savvy to these sites and will definitely be reading these? Oy. What a way to shoot yourself in the foot!

Well, if you are reading this, miss,......... be strong, !!!!

[Valsu 1]

I think it's because you said you went to the philippines once for a three week visit before filing, three weeks of actual person to person contact may not be the best thing, but it's far from only knowing someone three weeks. I kind of figure a LOT of threads are heavily misunderstood in these forums as a result of so many people not being native english speakers, even on a typical message board where everyone is a native speaker miss-communication is frequent, text lacks most of the emotion and cues that body langauge conveys, it's just that much harder when you throw in the langauge barriers. Considering the nature of this particular forum attacking someone's english skills is pretty much pointless, unless that person has been going around correcting people... turn about is fair play, but english nazi's on a forum where probably less than half the participants speak english natively... is silly.

I have to agree with others, your problems are far from over, and while your wife may have contacted you before being jailed and things were looking up, the fact she is currently in jail and very much between a rock and a hard place means that everything she does and says at this point is going to be her best effort to please you, you are her only life line, there is a great deal of incentive to keep you happy for the sake of her own survival, powerful motivation, right now she really has no choice, yes this is your opportunity to improve things but the position she is in really limits her to having to agree with you, anything you work out now while she is literally a prisoner (unlike originally where she was a virtual prisoner due to the lack of AOS filing) very likely is just a matter of her not having the independence to be able to disagree.

Whether it's clear or not from my posts, none of them are intended as attacks on valsu, even though much of what I have to say may be harsh, it's simply a result of how strongly I disagree with some of what he has done or said, in the end I try to at least explain my reasoning (in my own view that kind of makes it constructive criticism... sorta... maybe... or at least a fair debate).

Yeah, communication certainly is the challenge of the VJ boards. There always seems to be misunderstandings.

You make a very good point, but after working things out with her, it really does not apply to us. You see, my wife had no intentions on staying in the US. She was planning to return to the Philippines since things hadn't worked out for us. She could have just as easily accepted her deportation, as easily as I could have just walked away from the expenses of this situation.

When I finally got to see her face to face, we sincerely begin to communicate and work things out. I left all options open, because I did not want her to feel forced into anything. I especially avoided the above scenario you played out by being quite upfront with her about things. I am quite confident that her intentions are sincere, and she wants to fix our marriage--not stay in the US by "crawling" back to me--as some have suggested.

I don't feel you've attacked me at all. Most of what you said has been straight forward and quite informative. I've appreciate quite a number of your posts.

Thanks for the indepth response.

[Valsu 1]

This thread moves too fast for me... but yikes...

the mess she got herself in to

She had 8-10 months of help arranging that mess, she walked out but she had good reasons, had AOS been filed her walking out would not have created that mess, not that I think things would have deteriorated to the point they had, if AOS had been filed in a timely manner. If you both continue to blame the other for all the problems then you will never get past it.

We've worked things out beyond that. We're not blaming each other for anything, just noting factuals. We've forgiven and moved beyond the past nonsense. Just looking forward now.

Edited December 17, 2008 by Valsu

[Valsu 1]

My dear Val. You chose to post the details of your life on a pubic forum. As such, you open yourself up to criticism, support, empathy or whatever other responses your posts conjure up. Those posts just happen to fill me with doubt as to your honesty and intentions. Many others doubt your story, but I am the only one you attack... Hysterical.

I also find it funny to me..... that you previously posted that your wife would NEVER read these threads ( I believe that you mentioned 8 billion people blah blah blah), and now you are saying that she is savvy to these sites and will definitely be reading these? Oy. What a way to shoot yourself in the foot!

Well, if you are reading this, miss,......... be strong, !!!!

I don't recall saying my wife would never read these.

I've let her know about these threads, just the same as she has let me know about her situations in the shelter.

What I do recall is that I said no one would ever know who we were, and out of 8 billion people on earth, it really doesn't matter. I've posted things in anon to avoid breaching our privacies.

[bhajishah 4]

Im scared because Valsu bacwards means You Slave

[chavelle 6]

Hmmmm... Anyone paying attention to the user log? (if that is what it is called). Notice anything intreuging? Changing from anonymous to member name?

[bhajishah 4]

you mean its SYRAG??

[nycgirl 13]

Hmmmm... Anyone paying attention to the user log? (if that is what it is called). Notice anything intreuging? Changing from anonymous to member name?

Are you referring to me??? Oh yes, very intriguing indeed!!!!!! I am at work and need to log out every once in a while! Ok, inspecta???

[bhajishah 4]

Yah me too holmes. well im not at work onholiday with you all .

[nycgirl 13]

And besides, does it really matter who's reading the thread? I LOVE to be intriguing, so if I thought this was intriguing, then IT'S ME!!! IT'S ME!!!!

[daboyz 36]

Im scared because Valsu bacwards means You Slave

[mnieto 2]

Im scared because Valsu bacwards means You Slave

Edited December 17, 2008 by mnieto

[chavelle 6]

And besides, does it really matter who's reading the thread? I LOVE to be intriguing, so if I thought this was intriguing, then IT'S ME!!! IT'S ME!!!!

Not you ma'am

[tucson_chick 0]

.....and I already thought my life was complex........