Always amazed at how much people share

[Sister Fracas 5]

Maybe because of a few recent really detailed threads, I sit here and am truly amazed at how much people share about their private lives....everything from troubles in the marriage, family problems, health issues, financial woes, etc.... It's not that I think people shouldn't post all these things, and of course I read them and it doesn't bother me, but I guess because I'm pretty private, that even on an anonymous message board, I don't feel comfortable sharing the really intimate details of my life. I guess I'm just curious why people do share so much? I'm sure someone will take this the wrong way...dunno...and again I'm not saying people shouldn't get it all out if they need to. Just curious... *shrug*

[Ban Hammer 14,022]

ditto.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I'm with ya on that one Frances

[Chuckles 0]

Because humans are social creatures and like to know there are others out there with thier same problems?? It can give them some security?? Or something like that.

[Sister Fracas 5]

ANd maybe it isn't even about comfort on an anonymous board....but that I think if I had anything really troubling, that I'd need someone on a one to one basis... hmmm.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Personally, if I'm going to ask someone about a very personal problem I tend to ask people that I know and trust and who also know and understand my situation. But that's just me.

[Cygnet 0]

Personally, if I'm going to ask someone about a very personal problem I tend to ask people that I know and trust and who also know and understand my situation. But that's just me.

Same here.

[Sister Fracas 5]

Because humans are social creatures and like to know there are others out there with thier same problems?? It can give them some security?? Or something like that.

Yeah, I get that..... I do... maybe it's just me.

And it isn't just troubles or bad things, but I don't want to share the intimate details of my love life either and some people have no problem at all talking about their escapades.. LOL

[chri'stina 190]

Because humans are social creatures and like to know there are others out there with thier same problems?? It can give them some security?? Or something like that.

Yeah, I get that..... I do... maybe it's just me.

And it isn't just troubles or bad things, but I don't want to share the intimate details of my love life either and some people have no problem at all talking about their escapades.. LOL

Yea I don't get it either(about the love life stuff)... but whatever!

Edited May 25, 2006 by stina&suj

[Traviesa 0]

Sometimes you can't talk to anyone you know about a problem-maybe you're embarrased, ashamed, keeping it a secret....I mean, I don't have a huge network of friends and family, and when I have a problem I normally like to hear several opinions and thoughts on it, so I ask a few of my closer friends and maybe post on here...I don't know...I guess there are some problems nobody can relate to you on IRL, so you come here hoping someone can relate and has been through the same thing.

[snz1802 0]

Sometimes you can't talk to anyone you know about a problem-maybe you're embarrased, ashamed, keeping it a secret....I mean, I don't have a huge network of friends and family, and when I have a problem I normally like to hear several opinions and thoughts on it, so I ask a few of my closer friends and maybe post on here...I don't know...I guess there are some problems nobody can relate to you on IRL, so you come here hoping someone can relate and has been through the same thing.

you have a good point missliss

[Sister Fracas 5]

Sometimes you can't talk to anyone you know about a problem-maybe you're embarrased, ashamed, keeping it a secret....I mean, I don't have a huge network of friends and family, and when I have a problem I normally like to hear several opinions and thoughts on it, so I ask a few of my closer friends and maybe post on here...I don't know...I guess there are some problems nobody can relate to you on IRL, so you come here hoping someone can relate and has been through the same thing.

I'd get MORE confused if I had to sift through loads of opinions though, a few trolls, a porn reference, some smilies, bickering that each other's opinion wasn't valid, a thread derailment, waffles, smurfs, kumquats, and whatnot..

I understand what you are saying though...

Edited May 25, 2006 by Frances

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

it is fast and easy. no personal hangups/conflicts ar ecreated. it works just to get some feedback ideas from ppl who are not personally involved. then you could take some of this info and bounce it off a more appropriately invloved person(spouse/professional/coworker/boss/etc..).

Daniel

:energetic:

[*Robert* 2]

I hear ya Frances, and though I joke about some things on here, I certainly have no plans of going into any details of my personal life with strangers.

I do tend to be very open and honest about "MY" life with just about anyone I meet, but that does not give me permission to disclose personal information about my fiancee or our relationship together. That's where I draw the line. I think it's dissrespectful of me to talk to other people about private matters between my fiancee an myself.

Like you said, maybe it's just me?!

[Uxorious 0]

Maybe because of a few recent really detailed threads, I sit here and am truly amazed at how much people share about their private lives....everything from troubles in the marriage, family problems, health issues, financial woes, etc.... It's not that I think people shouldn't post all these things, and of course I read them and it doesn't bother me, but I guess because I'm pretty private, that even on an anonymous message board, I don't feel comfortable sharing the really intimate details of my life. I guess I'm just curious why people do share so much? I'm sure someone will take this the wrong way...dunno...and again I'm not saying people shouldn't get it all out if they need to. Just curious... *shrug*

I think marriage across national and cultural boundaries entail a common set of issues which may differ in the details from couple to couple but nonetheless common. Even in what could be deemed as successful marriages- at any level of success- they are fraught with adjustment issues arguments, altercations etc. Even the most complacent person goes through bouts of questioning one's adeqaucy as a partner or the other way around. A forum like VJ offers us certain a sense of assurance that you as a couple are not outliers in the whole general process though one often get this :"thank god, we're not in as bad a situation as so and so." I for one have developed a sense of community with all VJ members though I don't know most of them. At the same time, one feels the urge to share your experience on issues you think you have dealt with sucessfully. In this regard, anonymity helps especially when addressing very personal and private issues. For me, I feel like I am making a contribution to the community from which I have benefited greatly.