Big Disappointment...

[Deb_Res 0]

Well, I had originally thought my lawyer received Packet 3 over 6 weeks ago. And we couldn't understand why my fiance had not received it yet??? Why would they send it to my lawyer and not him? And why wasn't my lawyer telling me about all the things I need to gather for my fiance's interview which could be in a month or two if he were to receive Packet 3 any day now? After several failed attempts to contact my lawyer by phone I finally made an appointment to see him. I of course went to the appointment with my defenses up ! I was thinking he was so inept... Well the joke was on me because he never received Packet 3 !!! It was a BIG miscommunication that his secretary conveyed to me and I misunderstood her... Blah blah blahhhhhhh ... So now it all makes sense why he's not telling me anything, because he has nothing to tell me!

He basically told me that I have to chill and wait... I told him about VJ and I kept comparing other Muslim cases to mine that had been approved or have interview dates and started after me and I made him crazy! He told me to get off the website ! And was I "paying him or the website"? So he proceeded to tell me what he's seeing that I'm not seeing on the site... He has a Muslim client in Egypt who has been waiting 4 years for his security clearance. He has had several men denied in other Middle Eastern countries recently... Well that really brought me back to reality . He said the crime that Resul is charged with is that he is male, young, and Muslim. He said the embassies have been really jerking the Muslim men around a lot lately. He wanted me to take the "rose colored glasses off" and see reality... He thinks we will be ok and should be able to get the visa in due time, but he made me sign a letter that I will attend the interview in Ankara when it is scheduled. I wasn't planning on going to the interview. Not that I wouldn't want to be there for Resul, but it's more money that we don't have! And God knows we will need more money when he gets here, as I see the government will be eating up more money with all the future applications and filing fees ! It doesn't end! My lawyer wrote in the letter that he "strongly suggests that I attend the interview", and then he said to me "and I'm telling you, you have to go". He said that if we want any chance of getting this visa I better go. If I go it will strongly validate our relationship and if there are questions or problems I will be there to answer. So guess who will be going back to Turkey??? LOL

This news really brought Resul and I down . It's been 6 months since we were together and we are going crazy . I've spent the last 2 weekends on the cam crying to him and then he starts filling up . We are so tired of being on the cam and talking on the phone. We just want to be together as I know every one of you want. Do any of you veteran VJ-ers have some pointers on how to stay positive, strong, and less emotional during times like these? One day he is up and I am down, vice/versa... We've even started playing games on Yahoo IM to break up the monotony. Thanks for listening to me vent ! I took a couple of weeks off from VJ because I was stressing myself out reading everything and worrying about everything. But I'm back and trying to be strong! Thanks for your help...

~Debbie

[mdmattos 0]

Does the consulate in Ankara have a website where you could download "packet 3" and email or fax the required checklist form. From what I hear, most people don't wait for packet 3 to arrive at their doorstep and save themselves a lot of time by doing just that. Just something that may help you out if you haven't thought of that already. Good Luck!

[goldie 0]

Does the consulate in Ankara have a website where you could download "packet 3" and email or fax the required checklist form. From what I hear, most people don't wait for packet 3 to arrive at their doorstep and save themselves a lot of time by doing just that. Just something that may help you out if you haven't thought of that already. Good Luck!

i think i wouldnt wait so so long that my lawyer does anything. it is too long since they received the petition i think. tell ur fiance to send a mail to the embassy there and tell them to send u finally paket 3! it doesnt make sense for me, what for they are waiting. there is nothing to be done without him sending the forms so that they can go on with security checking or whatever they do. is there no phone mumber to call them directly? I WOULNDT WAIT AT ALL only relaying to my lawyer! as fari understand he s in the usa, so what he want to do from usa? is he in contact with the usa embassy in turkey?? what does he tell u? i dont know, but i have a feeling that its not even on the embassy that it takes so long.. maybee the lawyer is just tooo busy dealing with alot of other stuff, as many lawyer so.. to get as much money as possible.. maybee am wrong, maybee not. but it wouldnt harm to contact the embassy directly, no? to find out whats going on there. thats HIS right!!!!!!! he asked for a service they provide, and they MUST give him this service!! OR, AT LEAST CONTACT HIM AS WELL, not only the lawyer, and the guy might be too busy.. anyway, it sounds strange that the usa embassy in turkey should send the paket 3 to the usa first to the lawyer, instead to ur fiance direct

doesnt make sense.... tell him, not to take his and ur destiny in other peoples hands.. no no no... tell him to act now.. is more then time.

[Jaylen Brit 1]

Well, I had originally thought my lawyer received Packet 3 over 6 weeks ago. And we couldn't understand why my fiance had not received it yet??? Why would they send it to my lawyer and not him? And why wasn't my lawyer telling me about all the things I need to gather for my fiance's interview which could be in a month or two if he were to receive Packet 3 any day now? After several failed attempts to contact my lawyer by phone I finally made an appointment to see him. I of course went to the appointment with my defenses up ! I was thinking he was so inept... Well the joke was on me because he never received Packet 3 !!! It was a BIG miscommunication that his secretary conveyed to me and I misunderstood her... Blah blah blahhhhhhh ... So now it all makes sense why he's not telling me anything, because he has nothing to tell me!

He basically told me that I have to chill and wait... I told him about VJ and I kept comparing other Muslim cases to mine that had been approved or have interview dates and started after me and I made him crazy! He told me to get off the website ! And was I "paying him or the website"? So he proceeded to tell me what he's seeing that I'm not seeing on the site... He has a Muslim client in Egypt who has been waiting 4 years for his security clearance. He has had several men denied in other Middle Eastern countries recently... Well that really brought me back to reality . He said the crime that Resul is charged with is that he is male, young, and Muslim. He said the embassies have been really jerking the Muslim men around a lot lately. He wanted me to take the "rose colored glasses off" and see reality... He thinks we will be ok and should be able to get the visa in due time, but he made me sign a letter that I will attend the interview in Ankara when it is scheduled. I wasn't planning on going to the interview. Not that I wouldn't want to be there for Resul, but it's more money that we don't have! And God knows we will need more money when he gets here, as I see the government will be eating up more money with all the future applications and filing fees ! It doesn't end! My lawyer wrote in the letter that he "strongly suggests that I attend the interview", and then he said to me "and I'm telling you, you have to go". He said that if we want any chance of getting this visa I better go. If I go it will strongly validate our relationship and if there are questions or problems I will be there to answer. So guess who will be going back to Turkey??? LOL

This news really brought Resul and I down . It's been 6 months since we were together and we are going crazy . I've spent the last 2 weekends on the cam crying to him and then he starts filling up . We are so tired of being on the cam and talking on the phone. We just want to be together as I know every one of you want. Do any of you veteran VJ-ers have some pointers on how to stay positive, strong, and less emotional during times like these? One day he is up and I am down, vice/versa... We've even started playing games on Yahoo IM to break up the monotony. Thanks for listening to me vent ! I took a couple of weeks off from VJ because I was stressing myself out reading everything and worrying about everything. But I'm back and trying to be strong! Thanks for your help...

~Debbie

4 YEARS?!!! Is that for a K1 or K3? Cos if not..he shouldn't be comparing cases!

I think I see why he said 'get off the website' - he might be worried you're getting bad info or info that is so at odds with his own as to perhaps 'misdirect you'. Obviously he hasnt SEEN the site - as you know if we aren't sure, or think the situation is complex, we always advise to see a lawyer! Perhaps also he doesn't realise one of the primary functions here is support - as others have gone/are going thru the same situation as you (regional forums are same country even).

As far as staying positive goes - DO visit the regional forums here then you can get the input of others who have fiances from the same country as yours is and know how the system works from a personal experience angle.

Remember, while its natural, worrying is something that will not help you move forward - its an emotion that will keep you treading water so to speak - and remember also tht this is just a tiny part of your eventual journey together. It's not the sum of it, nor is it infinite.

I hope things begin to move soon for you.

[MaryandMian 1]

Deb I understand how your feeling. I know that the men coming from the muslim countries are taking alot longer to get processed no matter what visa and then 99 percent of them are enduring Administrative Processing or Administrative Review. I married in 2004 and my husband is just now coming home. I can only say to try and be strong and rely on your faith. I know each case is different and you cannot compare them or you would go crazy. I know alot of others on VJ filed around the time I did or after and have been long reunited with thier loved ones and it was because they were not petitioning a muslim male. Hang in there and I say take it one day at a time.

Hugs,

Mary

[Gikoo 0]

I feel sick to my stomach after reading DebRes's post about what her lawyer said. Having to wait 4 years for a visa or being turned away because you're a Muslim disgusts me to the core. It upsets me deeply that I'm going to live in a country where Islam is hated/feared so much. I am not Muslim but my Mother & half my family are & I'm scared that I'll be surrounded by a bunch of ignorant folk who don't know the first thing about the religion. Rascism is everywhere but coming from such a multi-cultural place as London I think the difference is going to hit me like a brick wall (I'm going to Texas). Am I wrong? I hope so

[babybunny 2]

Well, I had originally thought my lawyer received Packet 3 over 6 weeks ago. And we couldn't understand why my fiance had not received it yet??? Why would they send it to my lawyer and not him? And why wasn't my lawyer telling me about all the things I need to gather for my fiance's interview which could be in a month or two if he were to receive Packet 3 any day now? After several failed attempts to contact my lawyer by phone I finally made an appointment to see him. I of course went to the appointment with my defenses up ! I was thinking he was so inept... Well the joke was on me because he never received Packet 3 !!! It was a BIG miscommunication that his secretary conveyed to me and I misunderstood her... Blah blah blahhhhhhh ... So now it all makes sense why he's not telling me anything, because he has nothing to tell me!

He basically told me that I have to chill and wait... I told him about VJ and I kept comparing other Muslim cases to mine that had been approved or have interview dates and started after me and I made him crazy! He told me to get off the website ! And was I "paying him or the website"? So he proceeded to tell me what he's seeing that I'm not seeing on the site... He has a Muslim client in Egypt who has been waiting 4 years for his security clearance. He has had several men denied in other Middle Eastern countries recently... Well that really brought me back to reality . He said the crime that Resul is charged with is that he is male, young, and Muslim. He said the embassies have been really jerking the Muslim men around a lot lately. He wanted me to take the "rose colored glasses off" and see reality... He thinks we will be ok and should be able to get the visa in due time, but he made me sign a letter that I will attend the interview in Ankara when it is scheduled. I wasn't planning on going to the interview. Not that I wouldn't want to be there for Resul, but it's more money that we don't have! And God knows we will need more money when he gets here, as I see the government will be eating up more money with all the future applications and filing fees ! It doesn't end! My lawyer wrote in the letter that he "strongly suggests that I attend the interview", and then he said to me "and I'm telling you, you have to go". He said that if we want any chance of getting this visa I better go. If I go it will strongly validate our relationship and if there are questions or problems I will be there to answer. So guess who will be going back to Turkey??? LOL

This news really brought Resul and I down . It's been 6 months since we were together and we are going crazy . I've spent the last 2 weekends on the cam crying to him and then he starts filling up . We are so tired of being on the cam and talking on the phone. We just want to be together as I know every one of you want. Do any of you veteran VJ-ers have some pointers on how to stay positive, strong, and less emotional during times like these? One day he is up and I am down, vice/versa... We've even started playing games on Yahoo IM to break up the monotony. Thanks for listening to me vent ! I took a couple of weeks off from VJ because I was stressing myself out reading everything and worrying about everything. But I'm back and trying to be strong! Thanks for your help...

~Debbie

I know your pain. men in muslim countries have been under going extensive background checks. there has been alot of Denials/ Return petitions comming out of Morocco. plus the returns are also happing as a result of the IMBRA law < k-1 >. you will get your packet 3. dont freak out about packet 3 - you really dont want to get your medical and police reports too soon anyways. police reports depending on the city has a shelf life of a few months. but, maybe your getting the AR out of the way BEFORE the interview vs after maybe its not all bad in your case. we have been going thougth the AR/ AP process for nearly 9 months. some people on VJ for 2 years.

the best way to cope with the time apart is just think if each day like an Oyster. < security checks >

and one day you will find the Pearl < approval and passport w/ visa in hand >. stop driving yourself crazy there is NOTHING you can do- as long as those security checks exist - everyones hands are tied.

I feel sick to my stomach after reading DebRes's post about what her lawyer said. Having to wait 4 years for a visa or being turned away because you're a Muslim disgusts me to the core. It upsets me deeply that I'm going to live in a country where Islam is hated/feared so much. I am not Muslim but my Mother & half my family are & I'm scared that I'll be surrounded by a bunch of ignorant folk who don't know the first thing about the religion. Rascism is everywhere but coming from such a multi-cultural place as London I think the difference is going to hit me like a brick wall (I'm going to Texas). Am I wrong? I hope so

it is disgusting really. you know ever since 911 things changed. My husbnad and i have been feeling the pain since this process but there is nothing we can do. screaming, crying is not making nothing happen so we have to wait. in the mean time not argue with each other - just keep being happy. then one day this hell will be over. we have not been waiting for 4 years - 1 year apart. 9 month on AR. I also live in Dallas tx its ok.

[almaty 19]

i have to agree...there is a bias ...

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I am sorry to hear about your situation, and can empathize with how you are feeling. I don't know if it is of any help for you to know or not, but my husband's I-129f petition also took more than 6 months to be approved - and I am a non-Muslim Canadian woman. From the submission of the petition to my receipt of my K-1 visa took 9 months and I remember how angry, how frustrated, how depressed and just plain hopeless we felt at times. I just want to reassure you, though, that once your fiance gets the visa in hand it will feel like a load has been lifted off of your shoulders and your life will stop being in limbo. Eventually, you do forget the hardship of the waiting for K-1 approval in the excitement of planning your wedding and living your new lives together. Good luck and I hope you do receive your approval soon and that the interview is a great success.

Kathryn

(ironically, we are waiting again - our 2nd anniversary is next month and we still don't have our AOS interview. Sigh! It is easier though because we are together)

[motu 6]

Though I as others do sympathize with you it is not a hidden agenda - its known to everyone that the Muslim countries (there is a list of 26 or so on a terrorist alert) do take much longer for visas and can be delayed by months in and a few cases - years.

Having said that, I am surprised that you are complaining about money - yet you hired a lawyer! If you go through umpteen thousand posts about lawyers on VJ you will find that the norm is - if you have a straight forward case and have the time to do it on your own then you can do it probably quicker than using a lawyer. However it's your choice so I do wish you good luck. But you also need to have patience and be ready for your fiance not being able to work for a while - which means you will need to provide for him for a while before he can get his EAD. Better hit up your parents now! Good Luck

[mrswooten4ever 0]

Did you ever get a letter from NVC stating that your case had actually been sent to the Embassy if not it's till there and you need to follow up with NVC. If you already have the letter then get hold of the embassy and find out what's happened to your case. Your lawyer certainly doesnt sound like he's doing much and as he says you are paying him! So make him get of his lazy behind and do some work!!!!!!

Good luck Debs

Adele

[gag54611 1]

The forms that you will need for the consulate submission (the so-called Packet 3) are:

For your fiance

DS-230 Part 1 only

DS-156

DS-156K

DS-157

For you

Typically I-134, but sometimes I-864. Maybe the consulate web site can help to answer this.

All of the forms can be downloaded from www.visapro.com.

G

[goldenheart 0]

Deb,

I totally understand your frustration. I've been on this Visa Journey since July 2004 and my honey is finally coming home soon. Inshallah.

I agree with some of the prior post, especailly the one about the NVC letter. Have you receive the confirmation from the NVC? If not, your petition could possibly be sitting at the Service Center.

I have nothing against lawyers, but I think that most lawyers are not as proactive as they should be. Therefore, I think you should be in the driver's seat when it comes to making sure your honey gets home safely. Call the Service Center to inquire about your case.

As for your lawyer telling you to stay away from this website, I think his intentions were good. I find VisaJourney to be a wealth of information, however, remember that every case is different. It is not wise to compare your case with others. However, it is a well-known fact that men from the Middle East are undergoing security checks prior to visa issue. There's nothing we can do about it.

How do you cope? The best way to cope through this process is to remain positive and optimistic. If not, you will definately go crazy. ....... Good luck dear and keep your head up!!!

BTW, Don't read my signature and compare it with your time line. Remember, every case is different

[nane1104 146]

I surely hope, it won't take them 4 years for your case, that would be so sad...I so know how it feels to get tired of webcams and telephones...

All the best, I hope, you will get mail from the embassy soon...I am waiting myself...

Edited May 21, 2006 by nane1104