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trinity06

Husband is filling for divorce and want me to move out

By trinity06 in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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trinity06 Contributor

trinity06   1

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Timeline
Posted

:help: I have posted here before about what I am going through in my marriage. Now my husband has deceided to file for a divorce. I dont have money, no job, no where to go, and we have a 2 years old daughter together, but he want me to move out and leave our daughter with him, telling me that I can always come and see her. He said that last week saturday night.

But since this monday my husband has been nice to me, talking nice, and treating me nicely and taking me to so many stores looking for a job, but with no luck yet. But right now I have two Technical Support job interview next week, which was send to me by my school. Yesterday he told me that he is filling for the divorce, and that we just have to work together and agree on things so that we wont need a lawyer and waste any money. I have been married to my husband before he bought the house we live in now, and we have been married for 3 years. During the 3 years, I only stay at home with our daughter and taking care of the house.

Now he want to divorce without settling me or paying any arlimony. My sister in Nigeria talked to some of her atorney friends in the states and I was told not to sign anything and I also have entitlement to alimorny. He cant ask me to leave with our child and go were, or leave without our daughter. I was asked not to sign any paper he present to me, because he is looking for a way to wiggle himself out of this situation. I dont want to accept any public funds, because I know they will come after him. But what do I do, I am really confused here. What are my right I have no idea

Please someone I need advice :help::crying:

LIFTING OF CONDITION

12/19/2007 Mailed out I-751

12/29/2007 Received extension letter

01/15/2008 NOA/Biometric appointment

01/25/2008 Biometric taken

01/27/2008 Touched (Now waiting)

05/14/2008 Green Card approved (Card production ordered)

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diadromous mermaid Experienced

diadromous mermaid   36

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Filed: Timeline
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Trinity,

If I found myself in your shoes I would very nicely smile and tell him that you agree, that it would be best to dismantle the marriage in the smoothest and least expensive fashion. Therefore, you will be happy to give consideration to each of his demands so long as he first puts them all in writing, and then pays for you to take them to an attorney of your choosing for his review!

If he has nothing to hide, he'll be amenable. If he is outraged, then run to the nearest legal aid office and ask about pro bono legal assistance.

:help: I have posted here before about what I am going through in my marriage. Now my husband has deceided to file for a divorce. I dont have money, no job, no where to go, and we have a 2 years old daughter together, but he want me to move out and leave our daughter with him, telling me that I can always come and see her. He said that last week saturday night.

But since this monday my husband has been nice to me, talking nice, and treating me nicely and taking me to so many stores looking for a job, but with no luck yet. But right now I have two Technical Support job interview next week, which was send to me by my school. Yesterday he told me that he is filling for the divorce, and that we just have to work together and agree on things so that we wont need a lawyer and waste any money. I have been married to my husband before he bought the house we live in now, and we have been married for 3 years. During the 3 years, I only stay at home with our daughter and taking care of the house.

Now he want to divorce without settling me or paying any arlimony. My sister in Nigeria talked to some of her atorney friends in the states and I was told not to sign anything and I also have entitlement to alimorny. He cant ask me to leave with our child and go were, or leave without our daughter. I was asked not to sign any paper he present to me, because he is looking for a way to wiggle himself out of this situation. I dont want to accept any public funds, because I know they will come after him. But what do I do, I am really confused here. What are my right I have no idea

Please someone I need advice :help::crying:

"diaddie mermaid"

You can 'catch' me on here and on FBI.

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bhajishah Proficient

bhajishah   4

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Pakistan
 Timeline
Posted

Good advice from mermaid. be cool "you wanna play , lets play" Check mate im mommy and you pay. Cant turn love on and off like faucet when there is kids and wife involved.

august 2004 I-129 filed (neb)

DEC 2004 Approved

interview: SEOUL

MArch 21st , 2005AR for special security clearance,washington

May 18th tranfer case from Seoul to Islammabad

June 21st security clearance done

June 28th online at the embassy in Islamabad

waiting for paper transfer and the good word

OCTOBER 14TH 2005 Interview Number 2: ISLAMABAD, PK

AR number 2 sent to DOS per Islamabad (2 cable request)

Nov 22 okd updated financial and etc proof accepted / embassy waiting for security cables

dec 20th one cable back waiting on 2nd

Jan 17th.. good word recieved. SECURITY CHECKS ALL CLEAR!!! DOS says embassy to contact him within two weeks!!!!!!

FEBRUARY 10th, 2006 VISA RECIEVED!!! They called him In via phone, stamped his passort and sent him on his way!!!

FEB 28th WELCOME HOME>>>POE CHICAGO did not even look at xray, few questions. one hour wait at Poe

march 10th marriage (nikkah at the islamic center)

aug 2006 AOS interview, cond 2 yr GC arrived september

June 2008 applied for removal of conditions on permant residency aka awaiting for 10 yr greencard

Dec 2008 10yr green card approved, no interview.

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Mel and Syl Community Regular

Mel and Syl   0

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Germany
 Timeline
Posted

Dont you go anywhere if you move out he will say that you left on your own and you wont be able to prove that he had asked you to. Stay in the house, find a job and a lawer, sick for legal advice and yes DONT SIGN ANYTHING WITHOUT SHOWING IT TO A LAWER!!

Good luck!

Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.

Prov. 3:3

REMOVING OF CONDITION

08/02/2010 I-751 sent with K2 & my son

08/12/2010 Check cashed

08/06/2010 NOA (received 08/16/2010)

08/18/2010 My son's check was cashed

09/27/2010 Biometrics appointment

10/26/2010 APPROVED

11/1/2010 10yrs GC in the mail

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Nutty Proficient

Nutty   2

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Iran
 Timeline
Posted

My suggestions:

1) Be calm.

2) Don't show your thoughts, emotions to your husband.

3) Do not sign any document/papers he gives to you!!!!!

3) Have him write down his "suggestions" on how to seperate property/child custody/finances

4) Take his list to a divorce lawyer.

A divorce lawyer will tell you your options/rights in regards to seperate of real property (house/furniture/cars) and also child custody options.

Be careful not to sign anything your husband gives you because you may be agreeing to something that does not treat you fairly.

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MrsCat Experienced

MrsCat   6

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Trinity,

You need a lawyer. He is only looking after his own interests if he wants an uncontested divorce and divide things up as he sees fit.

Do not tell him what you're doing, and go seek some free legal advice, even for a consultation. Explain that you have a child, how long you've been married, any assets that your husband has (savings, retirement, home, car, wages etc). Explain how he approached you for a divorce and that he wants your child to live with him and you can "visit".

Don't worry about saving him money - save yourself money and get an attorney. They will ensure that you and your child are looked after.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Best wishes. (F)

Cat

http://www.flickr.com/photos/23648083@N07/
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Donna A Proficient

Donna A   4

Posted
Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Syria
 Timeline
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he is playing u...he knows u dont know the system here. dont sign anything. u r intitled to child support and alimony. make him pay. thats why he is acting like mr. nice guy now.

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Steve Y Jessica Rising Star

Steve Y Jessica   1

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Argentina
 Timeline
Posted

Exactly!!! I have been through a divorce. DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!!!!

Talk to a lawyer. You are entitled to half of everything. You are entitled to spousal support and child support. Also he will probably have to pay your fees for your lawyer. I would imagine that the judge will make him move out of the house, not you.

As far as child custody, the mother usually gets custody. And if by chance he got custody, he would still need to pay you child support. This I know, I have custody of our daughter and I still have to pay her mother money.

But most importantly, do not move out and don't sign anything until you talk to a lawyer.

4-29-08 - Mailed I-130 & I-129F together to CSC

CSC

I-130 I-129F

5-01-08 - NOA1 5-02-08 - NOA1

5-04-08 - Touched 5-06-08 - Touched

5-05-08 - Rcvd NOA1 in mail 5-08-08 - Rcvd NOA1 in mail

5-14-08 - Touched 5-14-08 - Touched

5-20-08 - Touched

5-29-08 - NOA2................................5-29-08 - NOA2

5-30-08 - Touched............................5-30-08 - Touched

6-02-08 - Rcvd NOA2 hardcopy..........6-02-08 - Rcvd NOA2 hardcopy

NVC

6-05-08 - NVC rcvd, new # & IIN.......6-04-08 - NVC rcvd, new #

6-15-08 - NVC invoiced AOS..............6-09-08 - Shipped DHL to Bs. As.

6-15-08 - Paid AOS online..................6-11-08 - Dlvd to Embassy

6-15-08 - Sent DS-3032 email...........6-17-08 - Received e-mail Packet 3

6-17-08 - AOS shows PAID!!!............6-25-08 - Turnned in Packet 3

6-17-08 - Sent AOS pkg Fed Ex.........7-11-08 - Medical

6-23-08 - DS-3032 accepted..............8-14-08 - Interview!!!

6-26-08 - NVC says my I-864EZ is not original Signature (BS!!!)

6-28-08 - IV bill invoiced online.

7-01-08 - Paid IV Bill online

7-01-08 - Re-sent I-864EZ

7-02-08 - IV Bill show "Paid"

7-02-08 - NVC Received I-864EZ, again!!

7-03-08 - Sent DS-230 via FedEx.

7-03-08 - NVC recieves and enters new I-864EZ

7-07-08 - NVC receives and enters DS-230

7-16-08 - CASE COMPLETE!!!!

8-14-08 - Interview. APPROVED!!!!!!!!!!!

8-19-08 - POE, Washington DC.

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DairyFarmer Proficient

DairyFarmer   1

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (apr) Country: Australia
 Timeline
Posted
My suggestions:

1) Be calm.

2) Don't show your thoughts, emotions to your husband.

3) Do not sign any document/papers he gives to you!!!!!

3) Have him write down his "suggestions" on how to seperate property/child custody/finances

4) Take his list to a divorce lawyer.

A divorce lawyer will tell you your options/rights in regards to seperate of real property (house/furniture/cars) and also child custody options.

Be careful not to sign anything your husband gives you because you may be agreeing to something that does not treat you fairly.

I agree, also try and get together a little cash. Give yourself as much of a safety net as you can.

If you have a joint bank account check the balance, make sure he isn't siphoning it off.

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russian_armenian Collaborator

russian_armenian   4

Posted
Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Russia
 Timeline
Posted
:help: Yesterday he told me that he is filling for the divorce, and that we just have to work together and agree on things so that we wont need a lawyer and waste any money. Please someone I need advice :help::crying:

He cannot file for divorce if you dont sign (I think he wants to go through cheapest route-"non contested"). He would have to do separation first which is 1 year or more. Separation means -he leaves the house (you should never even think about leaving house) and files separation form with court (but not everywhere). He can file for divorce at the end of required separation period. During separation you might have temp orders which means he has to support you completely till divorce and ofter divorce -whatever judge decided. (you might get bigger alimony if you dont work-maybe that is why he is so actively getting you a job?).

But even you sign "non contested" (means you agree with divorce and waive your right to contest), in some states you still have to go to hearing because of a child. (non contested is done in a few months without any hearings; but you might file agreement about property division with non-contested package). If I am not mistaken, only judge can decide about custody and child support issues. You can agree about alimony between you two.

Karina and Tomy

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slim Grand Master

slim   1,514

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Timeline
Posted

Start making copies of everything you can. EVERYTHING. Organize a binder or folder with everything in it so when you eventually go to court you have "evidence" of everything, not just his version.

And call a lawyer right away. There's no lawyer in town that's going to turn you down, you're money in the bank! You don't need "public assistance" lawyers to help you pro bono. Your lawyer will work it so your husband has to pay for everything, including the divorce lawyers. (That's why your husband is saying "no attorneys now, please.")

Русский форум член.

Ensure your beneficiary makes and brings with them to the States a copy of the DS-3025 (vaccination form)

If the government is going to force me to exercise my "right" to health care, then they better start requiring people to exercise their Right to Bear Arms. - "Where's my public option rifle?"

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zqt3344 Experienced

zqt3344   21

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Ukraine
 Timeline
Posted

Depends on the state you live in and were married, each has different laws regarding divorce. Also wonder what the USC's side of this story is? But guess we shall never find out or know, interesting though, just a thought. Sounds like he wanted you to get a job after not working for three plus years, maybe you need to sit down with your spouse and find out if that is what is bothering him so much that he wants a divorce, if you worked he might suddenly have a change of heart. :unsure:

:help: I have posted here before about what I am going through in my marriage. Now my husband has deceided to file for a divorce. I dont have money, no job, no where to go, and we have a 2 years old daughter together, but he want me to move out and leave our daughter with him, telling me that I can always come and see her. He said that last week saturday night.

But since this monday my husband has been nice to me, talking nice, and treating me nicely and taking me to so many stores looking for a job, but with no luck yet. But right now I have two Technical Support job interview next week, which was send to me by my school. Yesterday he told me that he is filling for the divorce, and that we just have to work together and agree on things so that we wont need a lawyer and waste any money. I have been married to my husband before he bought the house we live in now, and we have been married for 3 years. During the 3 years, I only stay at home with our daughter and taking care of the house.

Now he want to divorce without settling me or paying any arlimony. My sister in Nigeria talked to some of her atorney friends in the states and I was told not to sign anything and I also have entitlement to alimorny. He cant ask me to leave with our child and go were, or leave without our daughter. I was asked not to sign any paper he present to me, because he is looking for a way to wiggle himself out of this situation. I dont want to accept any public funds, because I know they will come after him. But what do I do, I am really confused here. What are my right I have no idea

Please someone I need advice :help::crying:

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LadyJane Community Regular

LadyJane   1

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

zqt had a good point in that each state has their own unique set of laws associated with separation and divorce. Please sit down for a consultation with a lawyer in your state, as most lawyers offer a free initial consultation.

zqt does make another good point (did I really just say that?) in that joint therapy may help you to at least figure out what your husband wants. this will be helpful regardless of whether you stay with him or not.

But, taking care of a young child and keeping house IS a job and it IS work. Any words to the contrary is a mark of ignorance and disrespect. :angry:

CR1 application

I-130: 03/26/2007-07/02/2007 at NSC

NVC: 07/20/2007-11/08/2007

Interview at Montreal Consulate: 01/18/2008

(2 months' additional security checks)

Received Green Card: 05/12/2008

Removal of Conditions

I-751: 2/25/10-

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ginger1981 Proficient

ginger1981   0

Posted
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: United Kingdom
 Timeline
Posted
But, taking care of a young child and keeping house IS a job and it IS work. Any words to the contrary is a mark of ignorance and disrespect. :angry:

Couldn't agree more.

It is strange for him to have such a sudden change of heart...within days of him helping you find a job? It makes me think that this stemmed out of frustration rather than some issue that just came to a head. I agree with some of the other posters that it might be worth seeking counseling first before seeking a lawyer.

wtf-picard.jpg

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desert_fox Proficient

desert_fox   32

Posted
Filed: Country: Spain
 Timeline
Posted
Exactly!!! I have been through a divorce. DO NOT MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! DO NOT SIGN ANYTHING!!!!

Talk to a lawyer. You are entitled to half of everything. You are entitled to spousal support and child support. Also he will probably have to pay your fees for your lawyer. I would imagine that the judge will make him move out of the house, not you.

As far as child custody, the mother usually gets custody. And if by chance he got custody, he would still need to pay you child support. This I know, I have custody of our daughter and I still have to pay her mother money.

But most importantly, do not move out and don't sign anything until you talk to a lawyer.

Half of everything???

Pay child support if you are the custodial parent??

What planet were you divorced on???

I finally got rid of the never ending money drain. I called the plumber, and got the problem fixed. I wish her the best.

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