I think they wore us out

[belinda63 2,981]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

[SaadBell 0]

I am not a man, but sounds like a big old red flag, I hope some men come and help you out, since the culture is different than ours. I would have been mad if I found that out, but maybe I am wrong, would not be the first time. Good luck and if you need to vent, you can always use me. I do know about scams, but I don't think that is what this is, but I do belong to baiter group, what we do is bait the guys or women, see if they ask for money, and among other things, not sure if you want, but we can bait him, but I would do that as a last resort, just let everything settle down and see what he has to say when he is more rational.

[doodlebugg 10]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

I'm not a man but that smells fishy to me. I'd be not only asking questions but demanding that he drop this friendship. If it were a woman that he was open with me about and had no problem with me contacting that would be one thing but how dare he say you cannot contact her and OMG he's stating "ask me"???????? I think you know what the answer is here.

[sara535 15]

why would he ask you not to contact her?

having her on his list would make me a little suspicious but him asking you not to talk to her would really set the warning bells off.

[doodlebugg 10]

culture smulture in his status he should state "engaged" and he should have been open about this from the start. The very fact that he's dropped all communication after this screams that something is up. If it's culture then Iran must be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay different than Egypt since my husband will not even engage in conversation with women unless absolutely necessary.

[JeanneVictoria 55]

How much time will you allow him to contact you? I think red flags are everywhere.

Don't wait for him to decide when to contact you.....YOU do it and give him a reality

check.

[Ban Hammer 12,829]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

my thoughts:

invite by accident, upset that you invited her because then you two will get to talking and we all know where that will lead. this alone says it all imo: he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me" (the ask me sounds fishy too).

as this is in mena and not many men are in this forum, do you want to leave this thread here or have it moved to another forum?

Edited May 30, 2008 by charlesandnessa

[SaadBell 0]

I do have to agree with everyone here, the fact that he told you to not contact her, as soon as that happened, I would have been her new best friend I am not good at being told NO, so I smile sweetly and do excatly what needs to be done, like contacting this women, and the status, ask me, so go and be someone else, make it up and ask him what that means. He will think he talking to a hottie, and you will know the truth. Good luck girl.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

I think he has given up on your visa. I think what you have to do now is ask him point blank like this.. If you get your visa in the next 4 months do you want to still be with me? Most likely he will tell you. If he avoids it, tell him, I am sure we will be out of ap soon. Have you ever thought the reason he is on this ap is because maybe the embassy or the us gov knows he is communicating with other women and have caught him already? The government may know he is not doing what is supposed to be doing or he may be petitioning with other countries and they have caught him already. They are known for this and yes they can read emails ( ive seen this on the boards) and yes they have ways of doing all kinds of things.. maybe he has been like this the whole time and you didnt know

By the way, mine chatted as well and it pissed me off very badly

[sara..... 371]

im not a man either but i would make up a different id and contact him........hey i did it with perviz in the beginning i might be young but that does not mean that i think life is all roses.........sure ur suppose to be able to trust the one that ur with but if u get some red flags get to the bottom of it dont wait on it because it makes u crazy.........i hope it all turns out ok for u........

[Aymsgirl 0]

I am not a man but I agree with the others. I think that it would show some red flags that you need to address. He should be trying to prove to you that he is innocent not ignore you right now. He should be almost desperate to show you that he wasn't doing anything wrong and allow you to talk to the other woman. Have you contacted her and told her that this was your fiance'? If not, can you still do it and ask why they are having conversation together and what relationship this is. I can see where it would make you uncomfortable especially if you met your fiance' online. You know how relationships can bloom. You should be able to say I don't like you talking to her and that should be the end of it. I can see chatting with friends or relatives or friends that are the opposite sex but just meeting people online is really something that he shouldn't be looking for once he is engaged. This is just my opinion.

Also, let me suggest this...did you google him? Does he use a common username and password for most sites? If you do google him go to the sites and see what is going on behind the scenes. I know all kinds of things are probably running through your mind right now but sometimes you do have to do extra checking if you have suspicions. It's not like you know what they do in their own country.

Whatever you find out I hope that you will be fine.

[very nice 0]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

Hi there ,

i am a man and muslim and my Fiance is American ,i think you should ask for explaination from him and try to have a conversation about it as adults and my advice is that dont let stuff like this destroy your relationship together especially if he can give a reasonable explaination ONLY you can judge what he will have to say none of us can say more or efficative things the flams is in ur hand ,i just hope nothing spoil your relationship ...but eventually u will have to do what makes u feel better and put ur mind at ease .

[Aymsgirl 0]

Just need to vent and maybe get some advice from the man side of the house.

For more than two years we have been together, first as friends then as more. I have had some really bad relationships and find it very hard to trust any man, but he seems so good and honest.

I've know all along he has been talking to other people, male and female, on the internet but a few days ago he invited me to join "hi5" and I accepted.

I think the invite was by accident, but I found he has a female friend in Finland (his only friend on the site) he has been conversing with since before Christmas. He did not add me as a friend so I do not show up on the site, he listed himself as looking for friends, wanting to date women, and his relationship status is "ask me". None of the photos on his site show us, they are only of him. It could be he did this since women would not want to be "just friends" with a man who is committed to someone else.

When I sent an invite to her to join as my friend she did not respond. He came online the next day wanting to know why I had invited her and asking me to please not contact her.

Now either I am right on target and he is looking for alternatives, it has been two years since the petition was filed, or else I am just seeing things that are not there.

I have not talked to him in almost a week, he won't come online or respond to me.

So Men, am i just being a woman and overreacting or should I be asking questions?

Hi there ,

i am a man and muslim and my Fiance is American ,i think you should ask for explaination from him and try to have a conversation about it as adults and my advice is that dont let stuff like this destroy your relationship together especially if he can give a reasonable explaination ONLY you can judge what he will have to say none of us can say more or efficative things the flams is in ur hand ,i just hope nothing spoil your relationship ...but eventually u will have to do what makes u feel better and put ur mind at ease .

Good advice

[Ron/Sharon 0]

You are not in a need to know only relationship.

You do need to know where you stand and where you stand has to be on solid ground without a moment of doubt on your mind or in your heart.

Fog has fallen on your path (doubt), you must stop wait for the air to cleared (Q&A time) to see if the road is straight (right As to your Qs) or forked (wrong As to your Qs you go right he goes left).

This is a serious as others have said RED FLAG, you have to talk to get all the answers you want that will satisfy you. Don’t listen to “if you loved me you would be doing this” just turn it on him and say “if you loved me you wouldn’t have placed me in a position where I had do this”.

My Sharon does not and never has given me any reason to question her, and she has never questioned me so I can only hope I never gave her a moment of doubt.. Your invitation was no accident Angelsact in mysterious ways.

I hope you find a perfect solution, one that will be true and just not for one but both of you.

Ron

[*JG* 2]

The hi5 part does not upset me. My husband has many old school friends in Jamaica who meet on there. He is listed as married and there are pictures of both of us on there. You situation sounds very fishy to me.

I really feel anytime there are secrets, there are problems.