COPING UP WITH SPOUSAL DIFFERENCES?

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

DEAR EVERYONE,

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHARE HOW DO YOU DEAL/ADJUST WITH ONE'S DIFFERENCES???

THANKS SO MUCH GUYS.... :luv:

Edited January 31, 2008 by SHAPE OF MY HEART

[eric&gen 0]

Part of being married.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Part of being married.

yeah it is, that's a fact. HOW do u cope up though.

[GaryC 7]

Part of being married.

yeah it is, that's a fact. HOW do u cope up though.

Compromise, understanding and love.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Part of being married.

yeah it is, that's a fact. HOW do u cope up though.

Compromise, understanding and love.

thanks for that alot.. its general answer.. seeking for a particular answers ...

[eric&gen 0]

well ... you would just realize that maybe tonight you're arguing and next thing you know, the next morning you forgot about the whole thing ... my wife gets crazy about the differences too, but I guess we both realize it's all part of our vows this thing called 'marriage'

Edited January 31, 2008 by evdogg412

[Jaseball 0]

Depends on the 'difference.'

She likes pork, but you only eat chicken? She thinks flirting and kissing other men is normal and you get angry when other guys look at her funny? You feel women should cook and clean, but she earns more money than you and expects you to stay in the kitchen? She likes rooms painted green with orange trim, but beige is all you can stand? She thinks you should wash bath towels after every use, but you like to wait at least a week? She believes in saving money for a down payment on a house, but you like new cars every 2 years?

In my own case I am still trying to warn my fiancee about possible differences and seeing how she lives and thinks as well as giving her a big heads up on how different it is over here.

While I try to keep things light and funny and make her laugh I do get serious and bring up all sorts of heavier topics and ask her to look into different areas of her life in preparation.

I expect to handle minor differences by having us both give our views and either accept one view as 'right,' or doing a give and take.

I hope all major differences I've uncovered already or will uncover before we are married.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

well ... you would just realize that maybe tonight you're arguing and next thing you know, the next morning you forgot about the whole thing ... my wife gets crazy about the differences too, but I guess we both realize it's all part of our vows this thing called 'marriage'

yes, and since your wife is a filipino too, we are known for sensitive type especially with our partners...

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Depends on the 'difference.'

She likes pork, but you only eat chicken? She thinks flirting and kissing other men is normal and you get angry when other guys look at her funny? You feel women should cook and clean, but she earns more money than you and expects you to stay in the kitchen? She likes rooms painted green with orange trim, but beige is all you can stand? She thinks you should wash bath towels after every use, but you like to wait at least a week? She believes in saving money for a down payment on a house, but you like new cars every 2 years?

In my own case I am still trying to warn my fiancee about possible differences and seeing how she lives and thinks as well as giving her a big heads up on how different it is over here.

While I try to keep things light and funny and make her laugh I do get serious and bring up all sorts of heavier topics and ask her to look into different areas of her life in preparation.

I expect to handle minor differences by having us both give our views and either accept one view as 'right,' or doing a give and take.

I hope all major differences I've uncovered already or will uncover before we are married.

[✿Ice Rain✿ 0]

Depends on the 'difference.'

She likes pork, but you only eat chicken? She thinks flirting and kissing other men is normal and you get angry when other guys look at her funny? You feel women should cook and clean, but she earns more money than you and expects you to stay in the kitchen? She likes rooms painted green with orange trim, but beige is all you can stand? She thinks you should wash bath towels after every use, but you like to wait at least a week? She believes in saving money for a down payment on a house, but you like new cars every 2 years?

In my own case I am still trying to warn my fiancee about possible differences and seeing how she lives and thinks as well as giving her a big heads up on how different it is over here.

While I try to keep things light and funny and make her laugh I do get serious and bring up all sorts of heavier topics and ask her to look into different areas of her life in preparation.

I expect to handle minor differences by having us both give our views and either accept one view as 'right,' or doing a give and take.

I hope all major differences I've uncovered already or will uncover before we are married.

Hi,

i can relate with that... we filipino likes to eat pork, and my husband dont like that. i like to eat rice, but my husband eats potatoes, im not used to eat potatoes... i dont like when my husband talks to other girls especially when the girl is not a friend.. it is not normal!!!!! but for him its not a big deal, but its a big deal!!! i like when he goes home after work right away, and he thinks he needs some night fun some time with his co-workers! why not with wife???

for us filipino, its normal when change clothes everyday! we like changing clothes everyday, change towel at least 3 times a week! change underwear at least 2 times a day! shower at least 2 times a day here! we are so conscious about how we look and dressed, but my husband its ok if i don't have make up!!!!!!! but i like to be always PRESENTABLE and PRETTY!!! hehehe, most of those differences we talk in a kiddie way. but what i cant stand is LETTING HIS PUPPY to sit on the couch or JUMP in the bed!!!!!!!!!! i really hate it!! i said thats dirty and he is saying his pup is clean and i said its still animal that dont need to use OUR personal stuff. he will agree for abit for me not to get upset anymore but the next day that will happen again!!!!

[Carlawarla 1]

Depends on the 'difference.'

She likes pork, but you only eat chicken? She thinks flirting and kissing other men is normal and you get angry when other guys look at her funny? You feel women should cook and clean, but she earns more money than you and expects you to stay in the kitchen? She likes rooms painted green with orange trim, but beige is all you can stand? She thinks you should wash bath towels after every use, but you like to wait at least a week? She believes in saving money for a down payment on a house, but you like new cars every 2 years?

In my own case I am still trying to warn my fiancee about possible differences and seeing how she lives and thinks as well as giving her a big heads up on how different it is over here.

While I try to keep things light and funny and make her laugh I do get serious and bring up all sorts of heavier topics and ask her to look into different areas of her life in preparation.

I expect to handle minor differences by having us both give our views and either accept one view as 'right,' or doing a give and take.

I hope all major differences I've uncovered already or will uncover before we are married.

I agree. Thanks for asking for more specifics Jaseball. Some things I say..." is this the hill I want to die on?"

I don't know that any of us can uncover all before we marry. There are so many little bitty habits we both have that we aren't going to resolve until we live with each other day in and day out for quite some time. Talking about them is great! Compromising is the key though.

My husband and I are a little older, maybe more set in our ways...maybe just having lived on our own for a long time. My husband was a bachelor until we married. He wasn't used to sharing nor compromising! I had two children...I think you get used to compromising when you have kids.

We do laugh at many things, we talk about them as well. There are differences, but we've managed so well with compromising. Surprisingly, there were few differences. Understanding the others point of view was essential. Some things I did, or he did, the other person had no idea where that came from! When we talked about it, and understood it a little better, we could easily see how it came about. At that point, we compromised. Either one person did things differently, or we agreed to differ! There was nothing major, so I'm not complaining at all.

Shape of my Heart...sit down, don't insult, don't ask him, or hopefully let him tell you you must change. Talk about your differences, and see the other's point of view. If you like pork, and he doesn't find out if he maybe likes it, but not every night. Could you make pork one night, and cook him a hamburger? I'm sure he's not saying you can't have pork. And if he is, hmmmm, I'd worry about that. If he likes potatoes and you like rice....can you compromise? Can you have rice one night, potatoes another, pasta another? I don't know what you mean by talking to "girls" that are not his friend and this is not normal? You'd need to explain that one more. But maybe it's not normal where your from, but it is where he is from? You won't know if you don't talk about it. If your husband says he loves you with or without makeup, how lovely! I'm sure you do want to look presentable and attractive to your husband. What he's saying is that whether you wear makeup or not, he loves the way you look anyway. Don't see everything as a critique! Two showers a day? This might be more about the water bill. Wow, it must be high. Unless you're doing some real physical labour and sweat profusely, no one needs two showers a day.

Anyway, again, I want to say, that you need to talk to each other about these little things. And in a way that is not pouty, or demeaning to either of you. You or he might have done things differently when you were on your own, but things have changed! These are normal things that happen when two people start to live together. Whether it be roommates, siblings or married partners!

Grow with this, learn new things, this is how marriages work...compromise with love and dignity.

[PlatyPius 5]

DEAR EVERYONE,

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHARE HOW DO YOU DEAL/ADJUST WITH ONE'S DIFFERENCES???

THANKS SO MUCH GUYS....

Chocolate syrup, handcuffs, and jumper cables.

[Sprailenes 47]

Its the differences you learn to accept and cope with because you're married...its normal.

OH WAIT.....we're all not the normal married couples.

By that I mean, we haven't had the chance to really live with the people we're married to/marrying, or see them for long periods of time. So we come to this new Country, move in, sometimes we wait the 90 days to marry and sometimes we don't. But somewhere in there we begin to notice those things that annoy us. We may cringe. We may ask about it. We may just try to ignore it.

Its normal though, and all you can do is learn to deal with it, or like others have said compromise. If it's something small, let it go. If it's something big, talk about it.

[Ban Hammer 12,835]

DEAR EVERYONE,

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHARE HOW DO YOU DEAL/ADJUST WITH ONE'S DIFFERENCES???

THANKS SO MUCH GUYS....

Chocolate syrup, handcuffs, and jumper cables.

mags, we don't need to know where platy hooks up the jumper cables

[gwenneh 7]

DEAR EVERYONE,

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE SHARE HOW DO YOU DEAL/ADJUST WITH ONE'S DIFFERENCES???

THANKS SO MUCH GUYS....

:luv:

I pick my battles. Some things are not worth fighting over.