Non-Legal Ceremony in Foreign Country??

[Fiance Journey 1]

This is my first post, so forgive me if this has been answered directly by someone with more authority than I have seen out there.

I have seen many conflicting posts about having a non-legal ceremony in the foreign country of my fiance prior to us receiving the K-1 Fiance Visa. My fiance's family has been adamant on us having this ceremony before she moves to the US to become married. This is for cultural and religious reasons....and of course they very much want to see her have this ceremony since most cannot travel to the US.

There have seen many opinions out there where they believe USCIS will consider that fraud for having any indication or representation of marriage outside the US and/or before the K-1 has been issued. And that it could delay and/or highly jeopardize the K-1 acceptance.

Also, out there are opinions that if its just a ceremony and is not considered legal in the foreign country, that it is not a problem with USCIS. I would think this would be directly stated on their site, but its not (unless I have missed it after hours and hours of reading).

Her and I would love to have a ceremony with her friends and family on the beach during these long months of waiting. Being apart is really hard. This would satisfy their cultural concerns and allow me to actually stay at her house when I visit monthly...saving me money on hotels (I'm already paying for flights and other things while I'm there) and of course allowing me to enjoy the comfort of staying with her without her family becoming upset with us.

USCIS at the VSC received our I-129F on January 15, 2013.

thanks in advance!!!

[Gricel Y Arturo 0]

That is a really good question and one I would like to know the answer to as well.

[canadian_wife 1,791]

I have seen too many times a K-1 get denied because of a 'ceremony'. You have to ask yourself, is it worth it?

good luck

[Fiance Journey 1]

I have seen too many times a K-1 get denied because of a 'ceremony'. You have to ask yourself, is it worth it?

good luck

Thanks, and that has always been my response and feelings on it...but its interesting to hear some topics say with "authority" that its a ceremony and perfectly fine. Wish they had a direct statement on it on USCIS.

[dwheels76 5,463]

This is my first post, so forgive me if this has been answered directly by someone with more authority than I have seen out there.

I have seen many conflicting posts about having a non-legal ceremony in the foreign country of my fiance prior to us receiving the K-1 Fiance Visa. My fiance's family has been adamant on us having this ceremony before she moves to the US to become married. This is for cultural and religious reasons....and of course they very much want to see her have this ceremony since most cannot travel to the US.

There have seen many opinions out there where they believe USCIS will consider that fraud for having any indication or representation of marriage outside the US and/or before the K-1 has been issued. And that it could delay and/or highly jeopardize the K-1 acceptance.

Also, out there are opinions that if its just a ceremony and is not considered legal in the foreign country, that it is not a problem with USCIS. I would think this would be directly stated on their site, but its not (unless I have missed it after hours and hours of reading).

Her and I would love to have a ceremony with her friends and family on the beach during these long months of waiting. Being apart is really hard. This would satisfy their cultural concerns and allow me to actually stay at her house when I visit monthly...saving me money on hotels (I'm already paying for flights and other things while I'm there) and of course allowing me to enjoy the comfort of staying with her without her family becoming upset with us.

USCIS at the VSC received our I-129F on January 15, 2013.

thanks in advance!!!

It seems like this "ceremony" in the eyes of friends and especially family makes you married. I mean if parents are allowing after ceremony for you to "be" together and all that.

I know for Nigeria many have had a Traditional wedding. No registry no papers its really a party and presentation and all that and the embassy said nope you are married.

Seems like a BIG "WHAT IF". I would check around the forum here for Mexico and see what others have been through. Read the interview reviews

[dwheels76 5,463]

Thanks, and that has always been my response and feelings on it...but its interesting to hear some topics say with "authority" that its a ceremony and perfectly fine. Wish they had a direct statement on it on USCIS.

The thing is they can't give a definitive statement on it because what would stop one from after the civil ceremony registering the ceremony. Many do in many countries and waala they are married. So engagement parties yes and they are versed in what one looks like also. I have seen denials because the engagement party was too elaborate and "looked" like a wedding party.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Is the ceremony worth the US Embassy determining that it was a wedding and denying the K-1?

Is it worth wasting the time apart and the costs for the K-1?

Is it worth coming back to her country to legally marry?

Is it worth wasting more time and the costs for a spousal visa?

Is it worth being separated for another year or longer?

Is it worth complicating your life?

Explain to her family that they can have either the ceremony or her life in the US with you by complying with the US Embassy's rules. They can't have both. The rules of her country do not apply to the US Embassy. If you want the K-1 from the US Embassy, then you comply with their rules. Ignore them and suffer the consequences. And guess what? Who do you think will pay the price? Its not her family. You and your fiancée will bear the financial and emotional costs. Not exactly a great way to start your life together.

Edited March 4, 2013 by aaron2020

[dmck 80]

If the ceremony is really important, then just make sure there are no pictures on Facebook etc. When asked if you are married, the answer is no because you legally didn't get married. You are walking a fine line, just realize that if they even have a doubt, if you are married or not, you will have problems.

[CaroSL 68]

I'd play safe and have no wedding, even traditional and not legal before getting the k-1.

Think of this: The interview is stressful, even if you don't have anything to hide, even when your case is easy AND your embassy is easy. If you (or your fiancé, I don't know if you are the USC or not) have to be careful not to display some information, you'd be even more stressed. They will ask you questions like "when do you plan to get married? Where? Is your familly going to attend?" They will expect details, signs you are not lying. If they have doubts, they will ask more questions. If they think you are lying or hiding something, you'll have problems. Don't put yourself, or your fiancé, in a difficult situation.

Rules vary from countries to countries, on how you can get married, what is a 'legal mariage' or not, etc.To give you an exemple, in france, you can't have a wedding ceremony (at church or wherever, even non-religious ceremony) if you don't go the the cityhall to get married first. So it they see a ceremony, they will assume you are married legally too. And as in the US, you don't need an "official setting" (such as courthouse, cityhall etc) to get married, they also can assume that as soon as you had a ceremony, you really legally got married. They won't check it up, they will just stop there.

[CaroSL 68]

Explain to her family that they can have either the ceremony or her life in the US with you by complying with the US Embassy's rules. They can't have both. The rules of her country do not apply to the US Embassy. If you want the K-1 from the US Embassy, then you comply with their rules. Ignore them and suffer the consequences. And guess what? Who do you think will pay the price? Its not her family. You and your fiancée will bear the financial and emotional costs. Not exactly a great way to start your life together.

I had troubles with both my (to be) family in law and my own family, to explain them we did things the way we could, and would be more convinient for us, because we don't have a "normal" situation. We have constraints that most couples don't have. It bugs them, honestly, it kinds of bugs us too, but this doesn't matter and is not really important.

What is important is that we will be together, we will get married, we will spend the rest of our life together. This is a commitment, and this is love, and details don't matter.

We'll get married in court with just my in-laws... then have a ceremony later. Not exactly a dream. But legal, and safe, and good for us

[dmck 80]

My advice, get the K1, come to the states, get married in the courthouse, Adjust Status, Advance Parole, return to France a few months later for the ceremony wedding. If they are truly your friends and family, they will put your relationship requirements above the need to have a ceremony first.

[CandZ 7]

I think it would pretty selfish of the family to ignore your reasons for not wanting to take a risk and have this "non-legal" ceremony. This is your life, and your marriage, its a terrible thing when people try to guilt you as a means of manipulation to get what they want. Did you explain to them why this isn't a normal marriage and it can't be gone about as such ? I have a hard time imagining they would still insist on their way. But even if they do, who cares ? They're not the ones who will suffer the consequence. Apologies if I sound harsh, I just feel very strong about my independence, individuality, and my right to do as I please with my life.

Edited March 4, 2013 by CandZ

[Piefre 15]

I faced this same issue during my K1, and in the end, I chose my visa over the wishes of my family. No ceremony. Period. They were pretty upset about it, they said I was being unreasonable and paranoid. I didn't care what they said or thought--I STILL don't care. And you know what? Over a year later, my family got over it and saw the logic behind why I put my visa first.

It ultimately comes down to you and your fiance obeying immigration laws or bending to the will of her family. Her family doesn't have to live with the consequences if she gets denied her visa thanks to a ceremony. Her family won't feel the heartbreak if you and her are removed from each other. So if her family really cares about her, they can wait.

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

Do not do it, I repeat do not do it!!! You are risking everything by going through with this ceremony, the worst of which can be a misrepresentation denial. Believe me I have seen it happen before, to a personal friend of mine to be exact. Misrepresentation will bring on a nightmare of a year if not longer with you stuck waiting for your case to slowly trickle from the consulate to the NVC then finally back to the USCIS.

Is it really worth it when you have a clear straight pathway ahead of you? Don't buy into familial pressure. They don't understand the immigration system. You do however and you must know that having this mock-wedding ceremony can potentially destroy yours and your fiancee's future. Legal or not, if that ceremony is uncovered by the consulate I can assure you it will not end well.

[Fiance Journey 1]

Is the ceremony worth the US Embassy determining that it was a wedding and denying the K-1?

Is it worth wasting the time apart and the costs for the K-1?

Is it worth coming back to her country to legally marry?

Is it worth wasting more time and the costs for a spousal visa?

Is it worth being separated for another year or longer?

Is it worth complicating your life?

Explain to her family that they can have either the ceremony or her life in the US with you by complying with the US Embassy's rules. They can't have both. The rules of her country do not apply to the US Embassy. If you want the K-1 from the US Embassy, then you comply with their rules. Ignore them and suffer the consequences. And guess what? Who do you think will pay the price? Its not her family. You and your fiancée will bear the financial and emotional costs. Not exactly a great way to start your life together.

I agree and that has been my response to them but I wanted to fish around in these forums with my questions rather than just read thanks!! I think my original decision stands.