Miscarriage/spontaneous abortion from the past can affect interview??

[fira 0]

hi vj im new here..i finished my medical ysterday i think i passed coz i already got vaccine..im on k1 visa.. now my problem is.. when i had my medical on the physcal examination..the doctor ask me if i had a baby baby.i said none but i do have a miscarriage.. and she called it "spontaneous abortion" ..my question is, would this be a problem on my interview?? are the CO opening topics about abortion or can i fail my interview jst because i had miscarriage,coz they call it spontaneous abortion, what if they make an issue or ask some proofs that i didnt really abort and i just had miscarriage? has anyone here also had miscarriage but went fine in the interview,,and one more thing..my fiance doesnt know about my miscarriage in my past life and i dont have any plans on telling him since he never ask me too..are there any possibilities that he will know when im already in US? like do i have a follow up medical procedure in the US what if i get pregnant the ob will surely ask about everything.. but i can say i never had a baby if we went in diff doctor, but if its the same hospital or they have my records here in PHilippines then im toast!!

pls help me im so worried.. are the CO tackle issues like this in the interview?

[canadian_wife 1,785]

Abortion is legal in the United States

You will not fail because of terminology the doctor used

Good luck

PS - I suggest telling your fiance about your miscarriage. Failure to do so can create havoc in your 'new life'.

[fira 0]

Abortion is legal in the United States

You will not fail because of terminology the doctor used

Good luck

PS - I suggest telling your fiance about your miscarriage. Failure to do so can create havoc in your 'new life'.

hi thank you for the reply.. if ever i pass the interview and go to US do i have to follow up in any medicals there? or i can go to diff doctors if i get prgnant plus are they asking about this in medical or CO just focus on documents and genuine relationship.. i appreciate your concern about telling my fiance about the miscarriage, but i am really scared and not plan to tell it ever in my life.. i know its not important though mybe if he ask i will not lie..but till he dont ask i will never tell

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Keeping this from your husband now will cause your marriage to fail later. Any doctor you go to will be able to tell you have been pregnant before. To try to lie about it is also dangerous for your health when you get pregnant again. Also, "spontaneous abortion" is the medical term for a miscarriage.

Don't base your marriage, or your health, on lies.

[fira 0]

Keeping this from your husband now will cause your marriage to fail later. Any doctor you go to will be able to tell you have been pregnant before. To try to lie about it is also dangerous for your health when you get pregnant again. Also, "spontaneous abortion" is the medical term for a miscarriage.

Don't base your marriage, or your health, on lies.

it is just so hard to tell him about it..

[canadian_wife 1,785]

it is just so hard to tell him about it..

No no, honey, it's easy. You're just afraid to

I promise you, this will come out. You are putting your health and your marriage in jeopardy.

[fira 0]

No no, honey, it's easy. You're just afraid to

I promise you, this will come out. You are putting your health and your marriage in jeopardy.

it was 2 years ago and i search in google and ive seen so far that doctors or ob cant tell..but just like you said.. doctors especially when you are pregnant ,they have to know all your medical history.. yes im a afraid..coz i dont know what will be my fiance's reaction..so i will either hide it since he embasy wont mention about it. but if my fiance ask.i will answer without any lies..but for now,im really scared.

[rade2rising 205]

tell him about it once you are in USA. I know you are afraid if you tell him while you are overseas he may change his mind about you. Its possible. Tell him when you are here and judge his reaction. many will disagree but you have to do whats right for yourself and your future marriage.

[JohnR! 5,495]

it was 2 years ago and i search in google and ive seen so far that doctors or ob cant tell..but just like you said.. doctors especially when you are pregnant ,they have to know all your medical history.. yes im a afraid..coz i dont know what will be my fiance's reaction..so i will either hide it since he embasy wont mention about it. but if my fiance ask.i will answer without any lies..but for now,im really scared.

This is a very delicate and personal situation, so please forgive me for intruding, but I wanted to interject the male point of view in the mix....

If you are planning on having a family it would do you a lot of good letting him know in advance. In the event you get pregnant again you may - or not - need special care or even undergo treatment before getting pregnant. If will be hard on you to do it alone, and may end up putting a strain on your relationship. It will be much easier to do it with the help and support of your husband.

From a man's perspective, he will most likely want to take care of you and protect you and most of all, participate in your life, so consider not shutting him off from this very important step. Let him be a part of your life and share all the pleasant and unpleasant stuff as well.

If this piece of information is something that might make him change his mind, you are better off not marrying him, for he is not ready to make a commitment as serious as the one marriage requires.

Good luck!!

Edited July 27, 2012 by Gegel

[rade2rising 205]

Gegel you are quite right. But its taking a big chance and he may change his mind about her as well. The right thing is to tell him immediately, but is it the smart thing to do considering welfare of OP?? Very personal decision....

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Yes, hide a major event in your life from your future spouse until after you're here...and look forward to a return trip should he decide not to marry you. Plus, what if this comes out and he thinks you may be hiding other things from him? Being in a successful relationship, especially one where you're going to marry the person and uproot your life, should be based on honesty and openness. If you're scared to tell him this, then perhaps you're not ready for marriage.

Also, I wouldn't rely on Google, MD to determine what a doctor can/cannot tell upon examining you.

[JohnR! 5,495]

Gegel you are quite right. But its taking a big chance and he may change his mind about her as well. The right thing is to tell him immediately, but is it the smart thing to do considering welfare of OP?? Very personal decision....

I hear you and I can see your point. It is one of those situations in which there is not a clear right/wrong divide...

[Ontarkie 13,902]

You may want to talk to ppl in the Philippines forum. I remember reading a post about needing to get a mental evaluation after a miscarriage.

You really should talk to your fiance about this, please do not wait until you arrive in the US.

Edited July 27, 2012 by Ontarkie

[LA NEGRA 19]

OK SO YOU DONT WANT TO TELL YOUR FIANCE NOW MY QUESTION IS, WAS IT HIS CHILD OR WAS YOU CHEATING? THATS WHAT YOU NEED TO WORRY ABOUT CAUSE IF YOU SAY IN YOUR INTERVIEW THAT YOU JUST HAD A MISCARRIEAGE BUT YET YOU HAVE NOT SEEN YOU FIANCE IN A YEAR THEN THATS A PROBLEM.... JUST A THOUGHT AND SORRY IF OFFENDED YOU

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Not wanting to tell your fiance about a miscarriage means you're hiding something in your past other than the miscarriage. Does your fiance think you're a virgin? Did you get pregnant after meeting your fiance, and your fiance wasn't the father? Was the father another foreigner that you were previously dating?

Here's a scenario to ponder...

You come to the United States. You marry your fiance within 90 days. You file for your adjustment of status. You get selected for a green card interview. At the interview the IO is reading the results of your medical exam and says "So, you had a miscarriage on <date>?". You say yes. Your husband is dumfounded. The IO sees your husband's reaction, and realizes your husband didn't know anything about your previous pregnancy. The IO immediately separates you and your husband and calls another IO to assist. The two IO's now question you and your husband separately for more than two hours. The IO's switch places and repeat the questioning. In the end, you're told that you'll get a decision within 60 days. As you're leaving you realize the decision is probably not going to be good.

This is not how you want your green card interview to go. This is not how you want your fiance to find out about your previous pregnancy and miscarriage. This is not the sort of thing you keep secret from your future husband.