TBoneTX

Biden Tells Aide He Had Strange Dream He Was Talking And People Were Standing And Clapping WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a moment of confusion at the White House this morning, President Joe Biden told one of his aides that he had a strange dream where he was talking and people were standing and clapping. The bewildered president awoke today with distinct images in his mind of standing in a large room and giving some type of speech in front of a big crowd of people, half of whom seemed to be angry with him while the other half kept interrupting him with applause. "It felt so real," Biden told his aides [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-tells-aides-he-had-strange-dream-he-was-talking-and-people-were-standing-and-clapping

Meteorologists Call For Rain Showers This Weekend And A Slight Chance Of Getting Crushed By A Falling Boeing Airliner Part UNITED STATES — Meteorologists around the country are warning everyone to look out for rain and falling aircraft parts from Boeing's commercial passenger jets this weekend. "Yes, according to radar more rain is definitely coming," said Dirk Willis of The Weather Channel. "So make sure you have your umbrellas and raincoats ready to go and just as a reminder: it's Boeing season as well, so you will need to plan out strong bunker or bunker-like structures you can use as cover from falling aircraft parts along your routes!" "Be smart!" Dirk continued. "These bunker or bunker-like structures have to be able to withstand the impact force of anything like a [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/meteorologists-call-for-rain-showers-this-weekend-and-a-slight-chance-of-getting-crushed-by-a-falling-boeing-airliner-part

DC-Area Pharmacies All Out Of Stimulants WASHINGTON, D.C. — Pharmacies in the DC area are reporting a shortage of stimulant drugs following Biden's State of the Union Address last night. "Yeah, some guys that looked like Secret Service came in here late afternoon and bought up everything we had," said Dr. Fran Boggins, who runs Capitol Drugs near the National Mall. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/dc-area-pharmacies-all-out-of-stimulants

Gracias, Fidelito Trudeau. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Canada's Government Considering Jailing People Who 'Might' Commit a Hate Crime [...] Imagine the chilling effect this would have on everyone from teachers to stand-up comedians. One wrong utterance, one complaint about expressing an unpopular opinion, and a law-abiding Canadian is under house arrest and wearing an electronic monitor to make sure he stays there. [...] https://redstate.com/wardclark/2024/03/08/canadas-government-considering-jailing-people-who-might-commit-a-hate-crime-n2171131

This needs readin'. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Exclusive: Liz Cheney, January 6 Committee Suppressed Exonerating Evidence Of Trump's Push For National Guard Former Rep. Liz Cheney's January 6 Committee suppressed evidence that President Donald Trump pushed for 10,000 National Guard troops to protect the nation's capital, a previously hidden transcript obtained by The Federalist shows. Cheney and her committee falsely claimed they had "no evidence" to support Trump officials' claims the White House had communicated its desire for 10,000 National Guard troops. In fact, an early transcribed interview conducted by the committee included precisely that evidence from a key source. The interview, which Cheney attended and personally participated in, was suppressed from public release until now. [...] https://thefederalist.com/2024/03/08/exclusive-liz-cheney-january-6-committee-suppressed-exonerating-evidence-of-trumps-push-for-national-guard/

Joe Biden's Upper Wears Off, Leading to an Absolutely Disastrous Appearance in PA [...] Somehow, things managed to get much worse on Friday. After an ill-advised impromptu presser on the tarmac of Joint Base Andrews, the president traveled to Pennsylvania for a campaign rally. Let's just say the upper wore off, leading to perhaps his most senile speech yet. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/03/08/joe-bidens-upper-wears-off-leading-to-an-absolutely-disastrous-appearance-in-pa-n2171136

Bummed in Brunswick: When Illegals Slide Into the Shiny New $13M Apartments Your Name Was Already On A good part of the reason for Trump's strong support across the very weird Maine political landscape continues to be the building backlash to Biden's exorable open-borders immigration policy. You can almost hear the MSNBC hags cackling in your head about that, right? Why would Mainers be worried about the border? [...] https://hotair.com/tree-hugging-sister/2024/03/08/bummed-in-brunswick-when-illegals-slide-into-the-shiny-new-13m-apartments-your-name-was-already-on-n3784346

You'll be a real Texan, ma'am. However, you'll probably talk funny for a while.

Now you're starting to sound like me, si D ma'am!

We ain't the Colonies, li'l filly. North of Interstate 10 = you're a Yankee South of Interstate 10 = you might be OK

1. Illegals 2. Democrats who moved in

If he's Cuban, he should show his papers.

This is a valid and large concern. This is another.

Come back here to let us know how things went. Advance welcome to the Colonies.

Did you compare prices with Chewy.com, huh ma'am? Chewy has one of the best-ever websites and certainly the best customer service of anywhere. Cat T-B. (a.k.a. the Little Piglet) has an autoship of Fancy Feast due tomorrow, and just in time.

Friday ES report, see man: We attended all Many ESs, diligent we man. All were duds, oh well man. Total = $0

This is precisely the way that you and everyone should do it. Great thinking.

Thrilling Thursday-on-Friday report, see man: Lunch was Many (2+1) cotto salami sandwiches on Aldi honey-wheat bread, ingest we man. Ran 2 important snack-food missions to supermarkets, crucial man. Siesta'd, zzz we man. Din-din was cod-burgers* and nuked canned corn, ingest Two Guys man. *air-fried Costco breaded-cod pieces on Costco hamburger buns This was our "din-din of challenge," knew that Mini-B. would beef man. Indeed, Mini-B. objected mightily, eat-pickily wee man. We told him that if he objected to the menu, to learn to cook, si man. Mini-B. decided to eat the cod and the buns separately, complain progressively less wee man. At the end, he had up-eaten almost everything, victory over wee man we man man. He even high-Many'd (high-[2+2+1]'d) us, victory over wee man we man man. The next 2 menus will be slam-dunks, Mini-B. likes them man. Monthly auto-order of miu-food came up for editing today, si deliver it tomorrow si si si man. We have only about 2 days of miu-meals remaining, need to restock now man. We have itineraried Many (2+1) local ESs for Friday, not much choice man. Mini-B. has a stupid "Health Day" at skool that he wants to skip, secretly don't blame we man wee man. We figure that we can get at least our Many ESs in before Mini-B. calls us to retrieve him early, know wee man we man. (Next weekend is FST citywide GS, rain forecast both days again this year man. ) No party with the rubias tonight, let them suffer not cavorting with us man.

Ironically, it's also National Breast Implant Awareness Day. Perhaps that fits in with IWD.

It's also National Biobased Products Day: https://www.biopreferred.gov/BioPreferred/faces/pages/NBPD.xhtml?fbclid=IwAR0qXz-zfWaUmIeZZQNIT9x5eYZAVFfZ2CC24hNQXJ1Ma_aUxvxSmdSHPxM Even more crucial, it's National Proofreading Day. On this day, NB emerges and, whether or not he sees his shadow, there will be 6 more decades of badd speling.

How true! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Midwestern Town Considers Adding 4th Crushingly Mediocre Mexican Restaurant [...] decision-makers considered whether or not the town should add a fourth crushingly mediocre Mexican restaurant. While proponents of the addition argue that having only three astoundingly average Mexican dining options was holding the city back from the growth it would need to climb the list of prominent Midwestern towns, opponents of the move argued that the city already has enough painfully underwhelming Mexican restaurants. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/midwestern-town-considers-adding-4th-crushingly-mediocre-mexican-restaurant

White House Explains Security Fence Around Capitol Is To Keep President From Wandering Off Grounds During Speech [...] The chainlink fencing appeared around the Capitol earlier this week, in what many assumed was an effort to keep rioters out of the building during the President's annual State Of The Union address. White House aides assured D.C. residents they don't expect violence and that they're just trying to avoid another presidential Silver Alert. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/white-house-explains-security-fence-around-capitol-is-to-keep-president-from-wandering-off-grounds-during-state-of-union

Biden Proudly Announces He Has Eliminated Junk Fees For All Migrants Staying In NY Hotels [...] "Folks, we got it done! As of today, not a single Somali, Iranian, or breakfast taco will be charged a single unfair hotel fee for the duration of their stay, which will likely be at least until after the November election," said Biden to a crowd of rapturously cheering journalists. [...] https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-proudly-announces-he-has-eliminated-junk-fees-for-all-migrants-staying-in-ny-hotels

Joe Biden's State of the Union Was the Most Unhinged and Angry in History In completely unsurprising fashion, Joe Biden arrived 20 minutes late for his own State of the Union on Thursday. Once he finally took the podium, it became clear that he shouldn't have shown up at all. Perhaps it was a screw-up on the dosage by his drug cocktail team, but Biden spent the first half hour of the speech screaming uncontrollably, while intermittently coughing and slurring his words. It was surreal and by far, the most unhinged and angriest State of the Union in history. There will no doubt be headlines proclaiming otherwise, and they will be false. [...] https://redstate.com/bonchie/2024/03/07/joe-bidens-state-of-the-union-was-the-most-unhinged-and-angry-in-history-n2171090

Pro-Hamas Agitators Block Biden's Motorcade Route to Capitol; How Could This Be Allowed? [...] Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) and Rep. Tom Tiffany (R-WI) posted photos and videos Thursday morning of security fencing that had been installed around the Capitol grounds "in the dead of night" to protect Biden from his own base, so obviously Capitol Police and federal law enforcement knew that there was a potential for problems. So why were they allowed to take over the street until right before POTUS drove down it? This is a massive security issue. Explosives could have easily been planted and there's no way the Secret Service could have done a thorough sweep to ensure security. [...] https://redstate.com/jenvanlaar/2024/03/07/pro-hamas-agitators-block-bidens-motorcade-route-to-capitol-how-could-this-be-allowed-n2171092