NoMansLand2020

5 hours ago, MarJhi said:

She has a passport, so if it is a joint account with her name on it then a passport will be identification enough to access the bank account. 

She had no identification on her person. And since she never carries the house keys with her, had no access to the house to retrieve anything. 

20 minutes ago, Family said:

Relax about blocking the card ..but know that if : 

The account is joint and she CAN/ COULD simply walk into the bank and take out whatever funds she needs. …much like she CAN/ COULD have called the bank for information on card status/replacement…AND can order a new card…she can even request a new card be sent to the branch for her to pick up, ( I was a banker at some point in my life ). 

 

 

 

She has no identification on her for one. So they wouldn't have helped her. The bank only has a couple of branches in the area and I doubt she would remember what bank it was especially with it being a local credit union. 

5 hours ago, Crazy Cat said:

Is the card in her name?  Is it a joint account?  If so, you blocked her from HER funds........  It could be seem vindictive or worse.

This is a joint account. I only blocked the card because she took off and we had no idea where she was for over 36 hours. She pretty much abandoned the kids without telling them where she was at. We waited in the park for 10 hours for her to come back and finally had to leave when the park closed. She could have been with anyone who migh have been trying to use or take advantage of her. Also because she was upset and distraught and not emotionally in a good place, she could easily have drained our account. 

She's so wishy washy and back and forth about everything.  One minute it's she wants to get separated, the next it's she wants to go back to the Philippines... The next it's she wants a divorce and then she's saying she will give me a second chance. 

10 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Good luck with that.  I doubt it will be that simple.  After all, she and her children gave up everything to join you in the US.  

She's already telling me she wants to go back.

3 minutes ago, B_J said:

You have to pay attention to everything people are telling you in these latest replies. Everything about this has changed.  As they have pointed out, you have now admitted to being abusive and that you  need to go to counseling for your anger issues.  If you are putting this in a text, you are giving her documentation of these things.  You also have no idea who is sitting next to her telling her what to say. 

 

Right now, even if you have the best of intentions,  and even if we're all wrong about what's going on,  you need to protect yourself. Do not text her and some will probably say not to meet in person without a third person that you trust. You have to protect yourself. 

 

Pushing her away or hitting her so she will get off me so I can drive safely is not abuse. 

3 minutes ago, RO_AH said:

You need to have divorce papers drawn up. You should stop communicating through text. Understand that she is being advised. You may have good intentions to try to fix things. But it seems like she does not.

I'll buy tickets back to the Philippines for all three of them. 

She feels some trust with my mother. And has opened up to her on several occasions. She told my mother yesterday that she would try to give me a second chance, but if I hit her again it would be over. 

I messaged my wife bcak in regards to her debit card being blocked. That we had no idea where or who she was with and that I did not want her to be taken advantage of. I told her that I was in the wrong for hitting her. That there should never be a reason to hit anyone and that it wouldn't happen again. I told her that I would immediately enroll in an anger management program so that I could learn how to deal with my frustrations in a controlled manner. 

She said she would forgive me if I acknowledged that I hit her other arm which I did and said again there was no excuse for my actions. And that as mentioned above it wouldn't happen again and that I would go to counseling. 

She asked how could she know it wouldn't happen again. I responded that I knew that I would lose the most important thing in my life which was my her and the kids. She didn't respond to that.  But responded this morning that she has decided to get a separation and that I need to turn on her debit card so she can pay rent and food as per her, I am responsible for that. 

I have yet to respond to this request. I think we both need to sit down and talk about things. Especially with the kids and baby on the way. Text messages don't resolve issues. 

30 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

Do you live in a city with good public transit? Can she UBER while you are at work?  Otherwise, it is true that it is really restrictive to have to stay home unless you drive her - that certainly does not help. 

I live in the city, but we don't have good transportation system here. It's a good mile walk to the nearest bus stop. Uber could work, but it's not heavily used here, so it would be expensive to go anywhere. 

4 hours ago, RO_AH said:

You also need to understand the predicament you're in.

 

That aside you were aware of the problems before this post. I even sent you a PM after your last post.

 

My wife and I discussed things during our relationship so there would be no false expectations. I knew from the beginning that my wife was a very hard worker and has to have everything clean and organized. We discussed she will be a mother and housewife and I will be the financial provider. This is something that both of us wanted. My house is never dirty and clothes are always clean. Kids are always taken care of. Like I said, I observed how she was in the beginning but we also discussed this. We also discussed finances and that I would handle them. She has always been on the kuripot side and through experience has ALWAYS valued my money whether it was shopping at the market in the Philippines or countless friends and family always asking to "borrow". Again this is what I observed all along and what we agreed upon. I think some of your problem is that you participate in debate with your wife. If she wants something that you can't afford then you say you can't afford it right now. Done. No further discussion.

This exactly. I don't know what else to say. I understand she wants a car for example, so she can be more independent and not have to rely on me to take us places. She's never driven a car, nor had a license. I'm trying to explain that I would rather not take out a loan for a car at this point because we have other things to focus on. One being a baby that will be arriving in December.  I typically pay cash for everything and unfortunately the immigration process, supporting her for two years while waiting for our case to process took a huge chunk of my savings. I don't know how else to explain this to her. 

4 hours ago, RO_AH said:

 

On the Zoo issue, in my opinion you should have never left her there alone. Now if you are at home and she gets tampo, and decides she doesn't want to go somewhere that you had planned, that's a different story.But out someplace far from home...Not a good choice. I would also be very concerned about some Filipna friend that you were unaware of. Some can be very toxic.

 

She has met some Filipinas online that belong to the same Church that she communicates with. I don't know them all personally, but the girl she is currently with is one of them. 

1 hour ago, ROK2USA said:

Your wife is pregnant with your child~ 

You should be expecting to pay some sort or child support. 

Of course I would pay the support for my child. But again, she has no money to hire an attorney.  

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

That isn't how it works......as you will see.  I assume she can find a good divorce attorney......

And who will pay for that? Definitely not me. 

2 hours ago, Crazy Cat said:

You will.

I will not if she decides to take off. She needs to come back and discuss things. We would benefit from seeing a marriage counselor and figuring things out. But if she's done, she's on her own. 

5 hours ago, ROK2USA said:

You need to give your wife space.

I'm not sure how long you spent with her before and what the relationship looked like while you were dating. 

But, if she chooses to return to the home. You need to apologize for hurting her and then leaving her in the car. 

And then try to have a discussion about expectations in the marriage. 

Did you both agree she would be a housewife when she arrived? 

Did you both agree to having a child so soon after she arrived?

I'm thinking your wife might be going through a lot of stressful changes. 

Her major misstep was covering your eyes while you were driving. I'll give you that. 

But, your account of the first 2 months sounds like you both entered the marriage with wildly different expectations and neither of you currently have the tools to reset expectations and come to a compromise. 

We were together for about 2.5 years prior to getting married. Granted, most of our relationship was online because of the pandemic. I visited the Philippines twice before they locked down. 

I only left her in the car so she could cool down and have space. She knew where I was and had a phone so she could call. I didn't run off with zero explanation as to where I was going or when I would be back. She abandoned her own children for nearly 24 hours. They were scared and had no idea what was happening. 

Yes, we agreed to having children as soon as possible. She wanted to finish having kids so she could start her career. 

Sure, she could probably chose to leave, but she would be in a world of hurt. Who is going to be providing for her and the kids? She's in need of prenatal care and other medical care for the kids. How can she take care of that? 

I mistyped paragraph 2. I meant to say that the kids and I very attached to each other. I typed "attracted" by mistake. 

I got married to my Filipina roughly two months ago and we are already having issues. I know no marriage is perfect and all relationships require constant work. But I'm at the end of my rope and need some help. 

I'm 41 and she's 27. Neither of us have been married previously, but she has two young children who believe I'm their real dad. We are very attracted to each other. She's currently 6 weeks pregnant. 

She's a bit immature in my opinion. I currently work full time while she stays at home. Many times, she spends all day on her phone or watching TV rather than helping with household chores. I come home from work frequently to the house messy. Food from breakfast and lunch and dirty dishes all over the place. Sometimes she will do laundry and then leave the clean clothes in the basket for days staying wrinkled.  

We seem to argue a ton about money. I am a very frugal person and this immigration process and the wedding cost me a ton of money. I'm still young and trying to save for retirement, keep a budget and provide for my family at the same time. Her idea is that I provide even if I have to take out loans to buy things she thinks we need but are more wants than anything else. 

Anyhow, yesterday we took the kids to their biometric appointment as part of the AOS process. Afterwards we were going to take the kids to the local zoo. On the way, as I was driving through busy afternoon traffic, she was teasing me and pulled on my face and nose covering my eyes so I couldn't see the road. I nearly caused an accident because of it and got upset. So I hit her in the shoulder to get her attention. I don't think I hit her very hard, but according to her it caused bruising. 

We got to the zoo and she was obviously upset and crying. I tried to get her to talk, but she just pushed me away and told me she wasn't going with us. She ended up staying with the car while I took the two kids. We came back two hours later and she's vanished. She wouldn't answer phone calls, or messages for hours. I had no idea where she, so we just waited and waited. She responded to messages, but it's vague responses not to worry about her, that I don't care about her and that she doesn't love me anymore. She says she's with friends. Yet, I wasn't sure and didn't want to leave her. 

So we ended up waiting 9 hours and she never shows up. So I end up driving an hour back home with the kids and no wife and no answers really as to where she is. 

Today she messages me while I am at work and asks me to bring the kids back to where we were the previous day. She's obviously still upset by the way she's responding and very vague answers. I drove the kids an hour back and we wait almost 90 min for her to show with a Filipina friend that I don't know. Anyway, my wife is not making any visual contact. Keeps her back to me the entire time I am helping the kids into their car seats and handing over some clothing to her friend. 

I don't know what I'm supposed to do at this point. I'm upset because my kids are gone and they are upset that daddy is gone. They were pulled out of school a week before their last day. The youngest is supposed to graduate kindergarten on Tuesday. I have all their stuff at the house. Clothes, toys, identification including passports.  With my wife being pregnant, she has upcoming prenatal appointments to be to and I'm concerned about her and the kids getting the care they need. Especially now that she has no money, nor insurance information on her. 

Is this just some silly tampo fit and she will realize the predicament she's put herself and the kids in? 

It's normal. We waited 26 months between filing and getting my fiancée here. We got NOA2 in June of 2020 and waited until February of 2022 before interviews happened. 

56 minutes ago, Commish10 said:

I received an electronic notification of the case numbers 2 days after filing, and the paper about a week later

Oh ok. 

I filed for AOS, EAD and AP for my wife and her two kids. We received some of the electronic case numbers, but not all. 

What is the current timeline for NOA1 for AOS? 

We just filed all AOS stuff yesterday. Three weeks after getting married. Hopefully it's quick. 

Fire your lawyer. They are going to cause nothing but issues for you and your fiancée. This process is fairly easy to do yourself 

While my fiancée was in the Philippines, I was using WorldRemit to send her money. Now that she's in the US, we want to send her parents some money monthly. But I'm looking for something that's automatic, vs having to login a service each month and make a transaction. Is anyone familiar with a service that allows this? WorldRemit apparently doesn't. 

My fiancée and her two kids just entered last Friday. They got rapid antigen swabs and had no issues. 

RT-PCR results take too long and they are very expensive. I've heard of many people having false positive results and we had one also that nearly caused my fiancée to miss second day of medical and interview. Luckily we retested immediately and received a negative result. 

Just now, Kathy and Jesse said:

Was the interview in USEM or online now?

They are not doing online interviews. 

Fiancée arrived today at LAX along with two children. None of them have an attached I94 to their passport.  Where do we find it?