Lee&Ana

Is it normal to have a 2nd interview in Thailand?

Unfortunately I can see this thread being locked real soon now. It was an interesting read while it lasted. I'm sure it has degenerated into a TOS issue.

BTW other than the US are there other countries that severely restrict the entry of Filipinos?

They are restricted from most countries that the living conditions would be more favorable than where they are from for fear that they would overstay and return.

Thanks for the advice christina16. If you don't mind me asking, how come you are waiting until June for POE?

Some of us have left the country a time or two in our short 35 years on this little rock. I do not think you could look more ignorant if you tried... good night to you and good luck

And to answer your question my wife doesn't work, she instead spends hours wiping her ### with $14 bills. they are so plentiful when someone makes a "plan" jackass. Enjoy living a life where you ask total strangers for advice and then berate them on said advice.

You answered one question and that is you are 35. So I was correct in predicting your age. I didn't know that they made $14 bills. So what is your plan that I asked you to share with all the readers here? I clearly have hit a nerve or two because you are now being very nasty and defensive and you have resorted to cursing and acting like a ghetto boy. I too have left the country 2 times in my not so short time country boy. I am sure your wife is enjoying all the nice Filipino restaurants and shops in good ole bama. Your $14 bills that she uses for toilet paper probably make her feel very comfortable in the racial tension free state that you call home. All the other pinay's must be running to your house to get the $14 bills that your asawa gets to clean up with. She must enjoy the sizeable Asian community you folks have down there. I wasn't asking strangers for advice, I posted a scenario and was looking for some people that had a similar experience.

Tyler,

Most of Filipinos are not used to expressing themselves. It was a big step for me, it ain't easy hahahaha. But when your husband let you feel the openness, the love and respect, eventually it makes you realize how blessed you are.

A lot of Filipinos are not fortunate to be here in America. Let's not forget that. Even if we are here we need to work hard to have a good life. Not unless you married a guy with a golden spoon.

Let's not forget why we got ourselves into "MARRIAGE". It is not all about compatibility, that one should have the same likes, habits and favorites. It is working out our "DIFFERENCES".

Age differences shouldn't be an issue either. I'm 40 and my husband is turning 65. It's about life experiences and maturity and maturity doesn't comes with "AGE, it's a "CHOICE". You can be 100 years old and still immature. Having said about my previous comment. Anna is only 25, "maybe" inexperience about reality so it may take time for her to understand the reality of handling a relationship or never. Only time will tell. That's one thing for sure, the realization strikes if ever she had a chance to come back to Philippines. While Lee is 43 you have a ways to go, either you fret about your wife negativity or find a way to for her to win her heart again. I'm sure there's "LOVE" there, it's just never blossoms because of we focused on negatives. My husband and I always reminds each other how our relationship started. It wasn't love at first sight. Our love grew because we watered it with patience, respect and understanding.. it wasn't easy ride. But it was worth it once you realize this is nothing compared to problems other couples experiencing.

Cheers!

Additionally, how do you feel that not all Filipinos are fortunate to be here in America? You posted that we have to work very hard to have a good life here. People in every country have to work hard to have anything. If someone is lazy and wants to sit around doing nothing with their hand out they aren't going to have anything no matter where they are. Why come to America to just sit around and expect things to be handed to them? At least in America, you have unlimited opportunity if you want to apply yourself. If someone from the Philippines doesn't feel fortunate to be here, I guarantee you there are 100 million of your countrymen/countrywomen that would love the opportunity. My wife can't wait to get to work and have an opportunity. That is why she is giving me grief. She is frustrated with being a housewife temporarily. Once she gets to work I think things will improve. She will be able to buy whatever she wants with her own money without asking me. Aside from some contribution on her part, her money will be hers

Lee&Ana- I am a very lucky man to have found and married Dahlia....we both have learned how to love each other more and more each day, give and take, listening, and understanding your partners position and feelings.

It takes both people to make this work. Ana is certainly the one that is in the disadvantaged position and many people have posted about that, compassion, time and understanding on your part needs to be an investment you make in your future with her, at this point she cannot see this.

True Love is when you give to your partner without expecting anything in return....do you have true love for your wife ??

If you don't have what it takes to make this work, then be a strong man and pay her way back home if that is the only direction she wants to go, you can't force someone to love you or appreciate what you are doing for them. For her, maybe she needs to grow and mature before she is ready for the American way of life....

Just my thoughts....best of luck to both of you !!!

Cheers,

Curt

I do agree with some of what you posted, but I fail to see how my wife is in a position that is disadvantaged? She has a husband who has taken care of her every need, some wants and is setting her up in the USA to be successful on her own where she doesn't have to rely on me for anything. How is that disadvantaged? I wish someone would let me sit home and pay for everything while guiding me towards success in a new and strange country.

I am a little curious that how OP knew his wife since she lived in a place without internet.

Her residence didn't have internet, tv, cable, satellite, microwave or a house phone. They have these things in the Philippines though.

Just curious as to what countries excludes recognizing a Philippine passport, but allows US passport entry?

For me the greatest gift I can give my wife is unconditional love, 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, yada yada yada'. Not a blue booklet with a face picture in it.

A prime example of this is the reason Americans have to utilize the fiancé visa. Could your wife travel to the USA on a visitor's visa? Ask her. The answer is no. But yet, you were welcomed to the Philippines for a visa free 21 day stay anytime you want to? Do you see the difference between your American passport and your wife's Filipino passport?

Search is your friend. For your reading pleasure

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_requirements_for_Filipino_citizens

I'm sorry I have this problem, it probably stems from being an Engineer. People seem stupid to me sometimes, it is easy for me to envision them as ants going about their business and not paying attention to whats going on around them. It is a less desirable trait and I do try to control it most times, however this is not one of them. You do realize that 14 bucks an hour is less then many fast food....I'm sorry...MCjob workers get now right? and if you think $18 an hour is a "plan" lol I have news for you buddy.....you are in your mid 40s and married a 25 year old woman, work it out, if not divorce her so she can get on with her life while she is still young, but above all don't go on a social site and blast everyone's advice after you aired your dirty laundry, we didn't ask about your business, you put it out there.

First of all, I would like to know how old you are and how old your wife is?

Secondly, I don't know what things cost in Alabama, therefore I don't go shooting my mouth off about anything in Alabama. For anyone in Las Vegas, let alone a recently arrived immigrant, $14-$18 per hour is great money. We have a low cost of living here and no state income tax. If you are talking about the $15 per hour McDonalds job in Seattle, it means nothing. You obviously read an article on Huffington Post, because a one bedroom apartment in Seattle, where McDonalds workers get $15hr, is $1,900 a month. I know this because my brother lives in, you guessed it, SEATTLE!

Thirdly, how much is your wife making an hour right now? If she is even working. And if it is less than $14 per hour, how do you feel justified in telling me that "you got news for me" buddy?

Fourthly, you say you are an engineer, as if this is supposed to impress someone? You are trying to sound impressive because you are probably a young guy that makes an above average salary. By mentioning it in a post means you are insecure or inadequate in some way and feel the need to proclaim your profession as if it is a badge of honor. Most engineers are good at engineering and nothing else, especially when it comes to social skills or interaction. I would like to know, BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ENGINEER, how much student loan debt you owe MR. Smarty pants? I have zero debt, 2 paid off cars and assets. If you cannot match that then don't try to play Dave Ramsey with me. I am probably working and paying taxes longer than you have been alive.

Fifthly, I am not blasting anyone's advice. I am disagreeing with certain points and agreeing with other points. Just because of your self perceived superiority, you feel the need to go ape on someone with the quoted post, like it doesn't smell when you use the bathroom as opposed to other people.

Sixthly, if you are such an expert on life plans for foreign brides or fiances, why don't you share them with us? After all, you are an ENGINEER, and that is what ENGINEER'S do best.

Seventhly, I suppose in your opinion, anyone who posts on visa journey is airing "dirty laundry" and is "stupid" and your job is to come at them in a very condescending, rude and nasty manner, while beating your chest and claiming you are superior due to your perceived superior job? In your opening comment you clearly state how you have a very bad habit of doing "x", but then decide to go ahead anyway because you feel I am misinformed, inept etc. You give away any credibility by doing that. When you posted earlier in the thread you actually seemed to be somewhat intelligent and had something of value to contribute. By posting the quoted drivel, you sir seem like an over indulged, inexperienced, millennial or Generation Y male feminist(I would have used another word but didn't want to get flagged for what could be considered vulgarity. The word starts with man and rhymes with myna).

I look forward to your superior ENGINEER retort.

Without "MY" plan, my wife's plan would be to get a MCJob like most immigrants, because she wouldn't know any better. What does your wife do for work if I may ask? I have a job lined up for my wife that starts at $14.00 per hour and goes to $18 per hour after 4 months.

So before you try to paint me as some uncaring, dictator husband, realize that just because my ideas are not the same as yours doesn't make them wrong. Some people in this forum seem to have preconceived notions as to how things should be and like to call people out that have different standards, ideas, opinions etc.

My wife's plan is to go back to the Philippines because she was too impatient to wait 83 days for her EAD to get here. We have the combo card in hand and no rfe's throughout the process so far.

The post referring to me thinking she is chattel is highly inflammatory, insulting and unwarranted. Everyone who meets my wife tells her how lucky she is and how nice I am. So for all the people who want to play Dr. Phil and paint me as some loser, controlling petitioner, you, the horse you rode in on and the cavalry behind you, you can fill in the next statement

Some good posts and advice. However, Josh I disagree with you on the finances.

I have a plan in place that my wife will be independent of me and probably make more money than me on a regular basis. I am trying to set her up with a situation that she will be successful in the long term as opposed to instant gratification in the short term. I want her to be fully capable of taking care of herself in the USA, especially if something happens to me.

Most of the pinay we meet here in the USA are working at Walmart for $8.25 an hour or some fast food job because they are content to earn money and don't know any better. Their asawa buys them an iPhone 6 and they have some spending money.

I want to push my wife up so she is successful, not hold her down with the illusion of perceived independence.

I also want her to become a citizen as soon as possible. To me the greatest gift we can give our foreign wives is the freedom that comes with having an American passport that allows them to travel the globe, which is something that a pinay cannot do in the Philippines.

Ok Lee, I may have missed it if it was mentioned earlier but what is your age gap?

I realize many Americans marry girls from the Philippines much younger than themselves and sometimes it works but sometimes it does not.

Do the two of you have anything in common?

Tyler

I am 43 and she is 25

You brought her here, you should have the decency to pay to send her back if she so desires. She just sounds homesick to me.

I think its loneliness and a lot of adjusting masking as ungratefulness. You are now married to this " stubborn, immature province girl" and the best you can do now is work on how you two communicate. For you, she didn't leave much in the Philippines since her family didn't really care for her. But for her, she left behind the comfort of the familiar. All the things you said about doing everything to make her comfortable, they get boring after a while. I'm sorry to hear you feel she doesn't appreciate you and doesn't care that you're in pain. She is going through a lot, just like you. She's adjusting to a different culture, adjusting to married life, etc. That doesn't excuse her for not giving you the proper care and love that you deserve of course.

"She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months. " All that time in the house without anything to do gave her time to think about what she is missing back home (it may not be much, but again, she misses the familiarity of it all). She needs time to adjust to the new culture and that doesn't happen fast. Took me almost 2 years, I think.

I used to feel everything she is feeling now. You know what made me change my attitude? I visited the Philippines again and saw how good I have it now here in the States. Get her to start working, help her develop hobbies, anything to take her mind off negative stuff. See if things get better once she finds better use of her time. You wanted to be married to her. It's time to follow through on your marriage vows.

I tried to resist not meddling here but I am a Filipina or Pinay and your statement is trying to generalize US. Let me share with you my favorite Bible verse. I am lucky to have a respectful and loving relationship with my American husband which meets every detail of this. We all have our share of failed relationships because sometimes we expect too much and count every detail of what we do for our partner and expect something in return. I am sorry that you are unhappy but please look also into yourself and analyze what went wrong. She must have deserved your attention when you wooed her to be with you.

1 Corinthians 12

1 Corinthians13:4-7NLT

1 Corinthians 14

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Interesting point of view

Interesting point

I wish you the best of luck with the annulment.

Why do anything for anyone if they aren't going to appreciate it? What makes people go to work? Because they need money. If there is no motivation to do something, then why do it?

Appreciation is showing someone you care or a simple thank you or a cup of coffee. Or being sympathetic towards your spouse when he has shingles, which is the worst pain I have ever experienced. It is just as bad as the motorcycle accident I had back in 2003.

And you can only ring the bell of leaving friends and family etc. so many times before you cannot ring it anymore.

My wife worked as a dental assistant, having obtained a 4 year college degree, for the measly sum of 4000 pesos which is about $94 a month. That includes overtime and sometimes 7 days a week without overtime.

She rented a room the size of my bathroom(I live in a 1 bedroom apt). No tv, Internet, phone, microwave etc. She lived 7 and a half hours away from her family, which is in pangasinan. I had to give her money to go see them during the holidays of 2014.

She didn't pay not one peso or dollar towards anything. I had to buy her passport, luggage to come here, everything. Additionally, I am paying for her younger sister to go to college who I have only met on skype, because her family doesn't have the money.

My wife didn't even know what her real birthday was until I took her to the NSO to get her birth certificate for the k1 process. Picture going through your life and your mother told you that your birthday was 2 months earlier than it was.

So I don't want to hear about what she gave up to come here. Believe me, if what they had was so great, there would be no way they would travel 8,000 miles to come here.

I am her and her sisters' benefactor no matter what way you slice it. Her family isn't doing diddly squat for her. She was on her own at 15 when she graduated high school. She maybe went home to see them twice a year.

I gave up everything I wanted to do for a year and a half to give her a better opportunity.

Additionally, I live in Las Vegas where there is a sizable pinoy community. But, there are a lot of bad influences here. This city chews up and spits out grown American adults like they were nothing with the gambling, drinking etc.

An example of this: I have a work friend who got involved with a pinay here. She came to the USA 7 years ago on a k1. She divorced the petitioner. He allegedly physically abused her. She didn't file for VAWA. The government gave her a one year extension to remove conditions. She never did. So 4 years later, she has no job, money, car, status, license etc. She is with my friend only so she can stay in the USA. She uses and abuses this guy, but he is happy to have a girlfriend so he takes the abuse.

She drinks, gambled and smokes, which a good pinay would never do in their country.

This is the woman my wife was hanging out with and giving my wife advice, which because they are both pinay, they listen to each other like it is the gospel, rather than me. Eventually, I put a stop to it but I had to be cautious because I am/were friends with the guy and we work together.

Most Filipinos in Vegas gamble and drink like there is no tomorrow. They are one day millionaires. Now to be fair, it isn't just Filipinos, it is 90% of the population here that do this. However, I only mentioned Filipinos due to the fact of they follow each other's advice no matter what.

Granted, I have been overprotective of her because I want her to be successful and productive in her new life.

The way it stands now, I want to protect myself financially, physically and emotionally from the fallout of her getting AOS and having the upper hand. If I cut bait now and she doesn't get the 2 year greencard, she can go home and I can chalk the whole experience up to a lesson. But if she stays, adjusts status, she will gain rights that can potentially be disastrous for me.

When we go out in public and I see a Filipino, I try to get my wife to talk to them and maybe make a new friend, but she resists. She doesn't want to talk to anyone over 30 because they are old or she doesn't want to be bothered.

As far as my sickness, there is no sympathy or compassion. 20 years from now if I become ill, I do not see her as being the type to take care of me. The outlook is I will be stuck and responsible for an ice cold, unsympathetic woman who will take me to the cleaners. All the love and companionship isn't worth it in my opinion

Will she be able to come back with advance parole?

Annulments are very expensive and very hard to get. You might be wasting your time. Be careful, because lawyers will tell you what you want to hear and take your money.

Has anyone experienced an ungrateful pinay, k1 wife? My wife has stressed me out with waiting for her ead combo card that I have shingles now, which is unbelievable pain. Everything is the end of the world. The Philippines is so great.

She got the combo card today, and I find out about it because she posted on her Facebook about it. No thank you, no I am sorry you are sick, nothing.

She has been asking to go back to the Philippines and I told her to wait until she can work and she can pay for her ticket back. I am not spending any more money on her. She isn't a gold digger and could care less about being a citizen.

She is just a stubborn, immature province girl that cannot be confronted when she does something I dislike. She is the queen of Tampo. A simple comment of how I feel something is lacking on her part turns into days of silent treatment. She complains that she is stuck in the house without work for 8 months.

We had no rfe's during fiancé visa or AOS. I am working 2 jobs to support us. We eat Filipino food 24 hours a day. She has a great internet connection and the top of the line pinoy directv package. I have done everything I can to make her comfortable while she is waiting to adjust status. She believes every word that comes out of another pinoy/pinay's mouth as the gospel as opposed to anything I have to say. I even have a good job lined up for her that starts at $14 hour.

No thanks, no compassion, just stress and drama. I think now that she has a travel permit, she needs to work and take a visit back to the Philippines to appreciate what I am trying to do for her. Can she travel with the advance parole before AOS and come back without trouble? I am under the impression that if I don't go to the AOS interview and pull the affidavit of support, she can go back and I am not responsible for her anymore?

Opinions anyone?

My wife is a November 6th filer and just got approved today. Be patient, you are almost there

I agree. Sounds to me the OP is waaaay more concerned about working and living in the US then she is for her husband. If my husband was feeling down and depressed, all my focus would be on him, not my potential green card.

OP, like Alaska2012 said: you came to the US to marry your husband, if your marriage fails before you get your green card or there's no affidavit of support then your option is to go home.

This

Make sure she has her police clearances from every foreign country that she has lived/worked in

Maybe you should consult with a lawyer.

You never have to talk to the police. Be polite, but never trust them. They prey on people who don't know their rights. If you know your rights and are polite, they will usually back off.

I wish my wife was next door with a few hour plane ride away in a low fraud country.

My wife is impatiently waiting for her approval. We filed November 6th 2015 and had biometrics December 8th and still nothing. We are nearing the 75 day point and I think we might call on day 76 if we don't receive anything. Norm and Nella, we live in Las Vegas as well.