Mme Rej

Tell him you are thinking about moving to Morocco to live with him there and see what his reaction is.

marginal VAWA at best. grounds for divovce? up to you.
being yelled at a few times is not spousal abuse. being asked to provide some document about a car that was bought as marital property is no big deal. he can prolly get a benefit by proving the expense. female TV shows are really negative in their influence on married women, in general. texting used-to-be's is wrong for either of you. don't get me started on the gun stuff. as for skyping with family every night in front of the husband, avoid it. do it in the daytime when he's working. if it has to be done while he is around there should be a limit, especially if the skyping is done in a language the husband does not speak. continuing relationships in front of him that he is left out of is disrespectful.
you knew who he was when you married him, or should have. too many internet marriages on this site based on no real knowledge of the other person. what did you expect?

I know right... and still even with all this ppl still get scammed into fake fraud marriages... isnt it funny how she said that she really didnt know him before the marriage and then she still brought him over here... wow... why would you marry and spend the time and money on someone that you didnt really know? Its situations like this that makes the rest of us suffer in longer AP and security checks with legit Relationships and Marriages... If you really didnt know this man and you married him and brought him over to the USA maybe you should have something to worry about because that looks like you knew the marriage was fraud.. and why complain about it? Its like adopting a dog at the pound... and then returning him beacuse he shits in your floor and bites you when your back is turned... you either deal with it or dont take a big #### risk like marrying someone before you know them.
My advice.. you should call the FBI.. what do you have to loose... if he is filling your head with a bunch of BS then so what and if he isnt and he is a real threat then they will deal with him, and atleast they will have him flagged in the system.

lemme guess. this guy is from africa, north of the equator.
1.) your shrink is making the mistake of using her western education to try to evaluate a person with a different cultural orientation. you, being largely acculturated to western thinking, are doing the same thing. it could be that he was part of a militant group in his home country, but here he has little to no basis, if he tries anything, he is just a common criminal. relax for a moment and focus on healing yourself. YOU are all you should be thinking about right now. he should be left to deal with the consequences of his own actions.
the "law of natural consequences" is about to smack him right in the back of the head, and he might be aware of it at a conscious level, but at a gut level he is still thinking that he is in his home country where corruption reigns, connections speak, and thugs wander the streets with impunity. this perception will all change when he is found by police, tasered and handcuffed by policemen, locked in the back of a car, fingerprinted, photographed, and held in a jail cell until bail is made by his "friends". violation of a PFA is a serious misdemeanor, and this kind of response by law enforcement is standard treatment.
2.) the current occupant of the oval office notwithstanding, connections in a 3rd world country don't mean squat in USA. America is a nation in which rule of law still prevails. if not, our current dictator wouldn't have lasted a day. msot Americans (myself included) respect due process. your ex-husband will experience due process. in the meantime you need to stay out of his way and give him no communication. most people cannot enact aggression unless they feel a connection to their victim. you need to eliminate all connections for your personal safety.
3.) the secretive behaviour is standard practice in a case in which a man is using a woman to arrange fraudulent immigration. it is standard practice for unscrupulous persons whenever they are about to take advantage of someone. your guy is a fish out of water here. he may have been a big fish in a small pond in his home country, but here, he is a small fry who can't even get off the beach. the phone in your mother's name is the only suspicious component of the behaviour, but could have been old habit for a guy who uses dodges and deception as a life skill. hell, i've had aliases and phones that weren't in my name when the need arose. all men know how to do this. YOU NEED TO CLOSE THE ACCOUNT YESTERDAY.
4.) his "friends" are his exit path from your relationship. they are going to support him so that he can float for awhile. he doesn't want to be findable, so naturally will provide you with no information about them. he will not feel safe if you know where he is. he feels guilty at a subconscious level for using you, and is afraid of your "wrath", which seems non-existent to me. he is a scared little boy in a large body, and nothing more. everything he knows in his cognitive schema does not work here unless he is in company of other immigrants from his country. the other 99.99% of USA frightens him terribly.
5.) his horrific temper and enacted and threatened aggression are an indicator of his feeling of powerlesness. have no contact with him, so that he will have no release for this feeling. it will tear him apart day by day. getting out of the relationship is the best thing that could have happened to you in this situation. if you had stayed the abuse would have worsened. until he is deported you need to stay out of his way and give him no communication. most people cannot enact aggression unless they feel a connection to their victim. you need to eliminate all connections for your personal safety.
6.) you need to call USCIS to keep them updated on what you are going through, anyway. the next time you call, ask who you should send a letter to in regard to these concerns. then write out a simple outline with names, dates, events described in 1 or 2 sentences. long handwritten letters do not get read, so type it and keep it simple, and send it where they tell you. US law enforcement operates under a strict protocol. certain offices have authority that others do not, and you don't want to waste tiem or have this lost in the shuffle. telling the truth is a noble thing, and would be good for your soul right now. you need somebody to unburden to, so don't delay
i'm sending you a PM to explain some things. you are welcome to write me back if you need a friend.
general warning on this thread. anybody treats this one disrespectfully will be dealt with harshly.

. . . is actually required to file for ROC. If the disgruntled wife informs USCIS that her husband is a bad guy who just "used" her in order to get a Green Card, they maybe inclined to take action.
Siska,
you got granted lawful permanent residence in the USA based on one condition: being married to your US citizen wife. If that condition is not given anymore, your residency expires.
In most cases nobody will check up on you until it comes to the point where your Green Card expires, but if your wife tries to break all hell loose, she can get USCIS to get busy in your case.

NigerianBust, you are the MAN... You got everything on the money!!! You must have an experience with this type of situation, I know I have... and you are good at giving the right advice. My hats off to you bro!!! People like you make this site very priceless!

There are two issues here. One is that she arrived on a K1 visa and she can not adjust status with anyone other than you. She would have to leave the country and start out all over again. The second is custody/visitation of a child. If she has taken the child and you don't know where the child is you call the police to report a parental kidnapping. If you know her address you go to the local court and file for an emergency child protective order. If you feel she used you for a green card then report her to ICE

I dont know to much about this but here , one actress was involve in a K1 fraud . . and she and the guy can go to the jail at less 5 years if they find them guilty . .
If you do this , you must to know that maybe your sister can go to the jail . . honestly is better if you try for all the ways to talk with your sister . . sometimes we dont want to open our eyes to the reality . . if u already talk to her . . not to much you can do . .
Just let her know if she wan to show that to her kids . .
Be strong! n____n

IMO, the lawyer failed during the interview, on one point - and that was -
to ask for the supervisor, and complain right there, in front of the supervisor and the IO.
Can't change that, for now, but... there it is.

i see that you joined this discussion group on May 30, and that you have no posts other than those in this thread. perhaps you had another user name before this one?

we know that the law is written to apply to spouses, but the truth is, as i said, there is a double standard in enforcement.
even so, your wife just doesn't want to be with you. this is not extreme cruelty.
"if i would come back into the house she would call the cops on me"...
it appears as though you two were not even living together when she sent you e-mail:
"i have a ton of e-mails where my wife threatened me to to seriously hurt me and get me deported and divorce me so that i get deported"
from your report, it looks as though you moved out, one way or another, before any kind of threat was made. relief from immigration statute in such cases is not what VAWA is for. VAWA is for people who were subject to abuse within the confines of the cohabitive relationship, and who left because of the violence in the cohabitation became unendurable.
incidently, persons who have truely been subject to serious psychological and physical abuse are rarely concerned about extraneous things like status. they are too busy trying to figure out what they did to deserve such treatment, and how they can arrange to get back together with the person who was abusing them. if they could only just be a good enough person, or do the right things, or make their spouse happy...the first step in helping a victim of real abuse is convincing them that it's not their fault. this takes a long time, sometimes years. only then can they move on with their lives.
i see no evidence that you have been through this process. this is typical of VAWA cases we see reported here. the victim is always busy pointing the finger at the USC, when a genuine victim of abuse would not be able to do so.

it's called the "violence against women act". what part of that do you not understand?
there is a double standard in USA in regard to spousal violence. that being said, your story as told in the first post wouldn't convince me, and it's only your side.

hello everyone. i am hoping for some words of advice. i am a victim of domestic abuse and just had my vawa interview to remove my conditions. it went horribly wrong. i had the same IO my wife and i had last year for the regular interview. he asked what happened and i told him. i also stated that i was worried about my immigration status and he said that i did not mention this last year during the interview and that looked like fraud for him. my lawyer and i could not believe it. because i said that i was worried about my "status" he said this is fraudulant. WHY in the hell would I try to have my conditions removed when i was NOT worried? isn't everyone? i have a ton of e-mails where my wife threatened me to to seriously hurt me and get me deported and divorce me so that i get deported. i have a clinical psychologist write an affidavit of support in regards to my condition, photos of scratches across my body that my wife did, notes that my wife wrote stating that if i would come back into the house she would call the cops on me, and, and, and. i am pretty sure that my case will be denied and i am horrified. i'm a good person and have never done anything wrong. this guy said it was his first abuse case, so how can he know what the requirements are? he didn't even study my file at all. just looked through it as my lawyer and i were sitting there! she had to tell him to look for the threatening e-mails she sent me, he didn't even know they were in my file. i'm horrofied! i guess my question is, what can I do if my petition is denied? i cannot believe this. all the ####### i had to go through with my wife, this guy slapped me in the face like she did so many times. belitteling me and basically saying that i'm a lier and am not an honest person. this guy is a grumpy old guy that ruins other people's life because he has none. i'm just so at a loss, that my petition will probably be denied. that IS the reason why victims of abuse do NOT come forward because of guys like he is. i feel even more embarrased and ashamed because i'm a man and this guy just slapped me in the face big time. if any of you had a similar experience or knows what more i can do, i would appreciate it. the anxiety i'm going through right now is beyond belief. i find it ridiciolous that people like this IO screw your life up when they have NO clue what they are doing. thank you all.

Well good news to you. An abusive spouse gets what he deserves.
BTW...you said they found things that you didnt know about? What kind of things did they find out?

Hi Everyone.
Happy Day Today!!
My ex whom I married was finally ordered to be removed!
For those of you who may not remember me, my case involved a spouse whom I petitioned for using the I-130 (received a CR-1) conditional green card) who subsequently committed aggravated assault and was found to be married to someone else in their country, committing adultery and who knows what else.
I contacted ICE & USCIS, they investigated him and sent a Notice To Appear. The judge saw through the sham and ordered his removal.
This all happened in less than one year from him getting into the U.S.
So those that are in these types of situations, just document everything you can and report it.
There are some happy endings after all.
YAY! No more I-864! Woo Hoo.
Leedah

Do you think it's even worth it? The high majority of these people are so in love they will say "That may be true of other people, but MY relationship is real". They'll continue to say this even when the spouse has them sleeping on the couch or is spending all of their time with relatives. Even when the spouse wants to get a place of their own and make their own money (while still telling the US citizen "we just need time apart") , these people will still insist it's just "temporary". I base this on what I have heard and what I read on these boards.
Some people STILL won't even admit they are being used for a green card once the evidence is staring them in the face and the red flags are popping up all over.
It can happen to ANY ONE OF US, unfortunately. Some people are very good actors/actresses.
But good luck with the thread, if it helps even one person, it's worth it.

I contacted ICE and they have my ex now in deportation proceedings.

Whether he was an American...Nigerian or from London ...she got SCAMMED. He is not who he presented to be.
I guess what you do not understand Nwanyioma is that it is easier to say the relationship just did not work out then to say you got scammed. I tried to pretend my relationship didn't work out at first. I wanted to follow through on helping him stay here so I could be the nice person. It was soo much easier, but then he called the cops on me when I was not home. Oh no I was not going to get away that easy.
So that is bullshit when you say use the "I got scammed card"
You have no idea those feelings until you start reading the letter and emails that show this man is not who he represented. Whether it was for money, love, sex, or the American dream...it is called a scamming when someone behaves a certain way to get a certain thing.

Since the marriage is about to end, you should not feel guilty by withdrawing the support agreement at all. You are not responsible for his future and can't be worrying about it beyond the divorce. Let him find his own way to stay in the U.S. The Nigerian scammers seem to have that figured out, based on personal experience with a friend; ICE won't act so don't hope it will.

Men that cheat and lie don't magically get better, their makeup is flawed and they put themselves ahead of everything and everyone. They will claim to "be different" when it helps them get what they want. It is just a lie to further their goals. You deserve better and you should never let yourself get guilted into doing just one more thing before walking away. If you sign the support document you are on the hook for 40 quarters of him working which actually could be more than 10 years if he doesn't work. What if in the future you find Mr perfect and can't afford to bring him here because you are still on the hook for Mr pathetic. The man used you and you should take your dignity and tell him that you are done. Are you willing to to into an interview with him and say you have a bonefide relationship , if they find out later you could be on the hook for immigration fraud and making false statements. He could be banned for life ( as he should be ) and you can be fined heavily and jailed. Pull the affidavit and move on.

First, when people say 10 years what they really mean is 40 quarters of work. He might not be able to get a job, or lose his job here and there, turning the 10 years into much longer.
Also re the sister, there is a thing called a joint-sponsor but this is NOT something you want to do. I only mention it so they don't try and tell you its an option. Whether he gets someone to sign on "as well" YOU are still the primary sponsor and YOU are still on the hook.
I understand that you don't want people to hate you or dislike you for "taking his greencard" but you need to look at this the proper way. HE was the one in a relationship with someone else in the US using YOU to get here so that he could get his greencard and leave you. I don't think there is any possible way that a rational and reasonable person would ever blame YOU for his not being there. He took advantage of you. He lied to you. You need to make sure you are not living with him. Don't see him. He's on his own. I would withdraw the I-864 and once the divorce is final (because I don't know if he needs to be there for it) I would call ICE to let them know that you are no longer responsible for this person. It is not YOUR problem that his goal in life is to get a greencard via whatever means. HE used you and HE needs to face the consequences of his actions.
Best of luck to you. I know it's not easy but it will get better. Make sure you withdraw the I-864 ASAP.

I believe you answered your question - how can you blame yourself or paint yourself as "evil" when he is the one cheating on you?
Drop the affidavit - get divorced - move on.

I think you will find that most people here on VJ don't support people that scam people for a GC.
Since you aren't going to try and prevent him from getting his GC I "hope" he won't scam you further by using public assistance and costing you more.
If you "pull" the I-864 it "should" prevent him from doing so unless he can do a I-360.

Divorce will not affect his status, other than when he will be eligible for citizenship, as you mentioned.
There a many MANY websites that contain forms and advice on filing without an attorney. Do a Google search for "Illinois divorce forms" or "Illinois divorce law".
A "no fault" divorce in Illinois usually requires a 2 year period of separation. You can ask the judge to reduce the period to 6 months, but I think that's the best you're going to be able to do. If you need to file sooner than that, then you'll need to file based on fault. Adultery, while still technically a misdemeanor in Illinois, is very rarely prosecuted. Prosecutors consider it time consuming, costly, and largely pointless. Fornication is also, technically, a crime in Illinois. If they sought to prosecute for it then Oprah Winfrey would be facing a year in jail. There hasn't been a conviction for adultery in Illinois (that I was able to find) since 1943. A case was brought in Harvey, Illinois, in 1997, but the prosecutor refused to prosecute.
On the other hand, people divorce on the basis of adultery quite often in Illinois. There is no recent case (again, that I could find) where the divorce resulted in criminal prosecution of the accused adulterer.
Yes. No waiver needed if this will be your second K1, and it's been more than 2 years since your first K1 was approved.
Not likely to make any difference with the petition approval. Possible it might come up at the interview, but much less likely at the Embassy in London than with a high fraud consulate. Also possible it could come up at AOS or ROC, but not likely to be a problem.