Divorcing during AOS: What can I do?

[sonobi 3]

Hi Everyone,

I happily married my husband from Nigeria. We met in Belgium; and he was absolutely fabulous. I saw no indications of a cheater or lier in him at all what so ever while I was in Belgium with him. I moved back to the US and he stayed in Belgium for about 5 months. At some point, i started to question hi loyaty and fidelty to me during our abscences from each other. He ensured me each time we spoke on the phone. So, of course I felt guilty for the accusations I've implied towards him. Long story short: He arrived to the US, and we got married right away and applied for the AOS immediately. At the same time, my husband was behaving bizzar totally unlike him in Belgium. I kept feeling as if he was in love with another woman somewhere else. We argued a lot and couldn't be in the same rooom for more than five minutes. He decided to take a trip to WA to visit one of his friends....and the same night, I went into his emails and found a lot of pictures of him and so many different women from Begluim to Nigeria.

It was quite obvious that he fell in love with a woman from Belgium. He was also emailing his first love that happens to live in the US; telling her that he couldn't wait to get to the US so that he can be with her. Anyway all blew up and he still wants to deny most of the relationships with these women having explanations for each including blaming me for his turning to another woman.

Now, I'm starting to feel as if I'm his free ticket to the US. When he thought that I sent a letter to USCIS requesting a cancelation (yes, I told him that lie), he was telling all of his friends that I was the most evil woman alive. Then he found out that I never sent the letter of cancelation; and all of a sudden, I'm the nicest person to exists. He now changed his tone with me and avoids any conversations about these women that he lied to me about. Now, I find out that he has more money on his person that he actually disclosed to me.

He's been taking advise from his friends that have been telling him to leave me. So when I purchased his ticket to fly to Atlanta to be with his sister, he completely changed his mind about the whole travel. we will be divorced on 14 May 10.

My question: What can he do to stay in the US? Thanks.

Broken hearted.

[coraliesolms 47]

Have you guys successfully adjusted his status? By that, I mean does he have a greencard?

[Anh map 2,098]

If he has is green card then it is get divorced and move on. Divorce is no fun, but it is survivable.

If he has not been approved for the GC, then you could revoke your I-864 Affidavit of Support and the Adjustment of Status based on your marriage would not be able to happen.

He could petition to Adjust Status on his own. There isn't anything you can do to stop him from attempting to do so.

[sonobi 3]

If he has is green card then it is get divorced and move on. Divorce is no fun, but it is survivable.

If he has not been approved for the GC, then you could revoke your I-864 Affidavit of Support and the Adjustment of Status based on your marriage would not be able to happen.

He could petition to Adjust Status on his own. There isn't anything you can do to stop him from attempting to do so.

Thank you....I don't want to stop him from adjusting himself. I just don't feel secure with the I-864. That's 10 years long of an attachment that I'm not willing to do. Is there another way that he can do this without my affidavit of Support. He does not have his GC yet. We're just now entering the biometric appointment at end of this month. But our divorce will be final in mid May. Any advice.

[coraliesolms 47]

If you dont allow the affidavit, they will not let him get his greencard. Im sorry this has happened to you, but if you allow him to adjust, based on your marriage and get his greencard, you will be responsible for him for 10 years, or until he becomes a US citizen.

Edited April 18, 2010 by coraliesolms

[Dakine 26]

I think you will find that most people here on VJ don't support people that scam people for a GC.

Since you aren't going to try and prevent him from getting his GC I "hope" he won't scam you further by using public assistance and costing you more.

If you "pull" the I-864 it "should" prevent him from doing so unless he can do a I-360.

[coraliesolms 47]

I think you will find that most people here on VJ don't support people that scam people for a GC.

Since you aren't going to try and prevent him from getting his GC I "hope" he won't scam you further by using public assistance and costing you more.

If you "pull" the I-864 it "should" prevent him from doing so unless he can do a I-360.

[sonobi 3]

I think you will find that most people here on VJ don't support people that scam people for a GC.

Since you aren't going to try and prevent him from getting his GC I "hope" he won't scam you further by using public assistance and costing you more.

If you "pull" the I-864 it "should" prevent him from doing so unless he can do a I-360.

What is an I-360? You are right about this scamming. He is now very upset with me for going online trying to find answers. I will pull the I-864.

[sonobi 3]

Have you guys successfully adjusted his status? By that, I mean does he have a greencard?

No, we are still in the process. He has his biometric appt. at the end of this month.

[Darnell 8,478]

It's a 2 edge sword, IMO .

If you WANT him to 'get some status' and stay in USA, he'll have to have his greencard.

That adjustment of status to GET the greencard is based on a bonafide marriage to a US Citizen.

This AOS process puts the USC 'on the hook' for 10 years, a contract between the USC and the US Government.

OTOH,

If you do NOT want to be 'on the hook' for these 10 years -

and SINCE he's not been granted a green card (yet) -

then YOU, the USC, can withdraw the I-864, affadavit of support, prior to either interview day or final adjudication.

IMO (however flawed ) - he's simply married you for the greencard, all else is for show, and he has a handler (or two).

I base that on his dichotomy of his treatment towards you, and the pile of emails that you've found.

IIWY, I'd ditch immediately, file for divorce, and withdraw the I-864, all in parallel.

If you'd like a professional opinion on this - hey ! The ICE hotline # is at the bottom of this page, in the fine print - give them a call, and get some 'other advice'.

Good Luck, however it goes, whatever you decide to you - ya, I always believe any rift is repairable, but at some point, you have to decide if you really are gonna bail out, or no.

[besaangel 17]

What is an I-360? You are right about this scamming. He is now very upset with me for going online trying to find answers. I will pull the I-864.

Hi hon, I am sorry for your heartache and wish you all the best.

As far as he is concerned, if he really and truly loved you, he would not have to lie or cheat on you. I know it is painful, but a this point in time you have to do what is best for you.

Please carefully read the following:

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=95be2c1a6855d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=db029c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD

http://www.uscis.gov/files/form/i-360instr.pdf

Do note that this is is only option to stay here based on his K-1 visa. Do not harm him or abuse him in any way- so as to not make him eligible to file I-360. ALL the BEST

[sonobi 3]

It's a 2 edge sword, IMO .

If you WANT him to 'get some status' and stay in USA, he'll have to have his greencard.

That adjustment of status to GET the greencard is based on a bonafide marriage to a US Citizen.

This AOS process puts the USC 'on the hook' for 10 years, a contract between the USC and the US Government.

OTOH,

If you do NOT want to be 'on the hook' for these 10 years -

and SINCE he's not been granted a green card (yet) -

then YOU, the USC, can withdraw the I-864, affadavit of support, prior to either interview day or final adjudication.

IMO (however flawed ) - he's simply married you for the greencard, all else is for show, and he has a handler (or two).

I base that on his dichotomy of his treatment towards you, and the pile of emails that you've found.

IIWY, I'd ditch immediately, file for divorce, and withdraw the I-864, all in parallel.

If you'd like a professional opinion on this - hey ! The ICE hotline # is at the bottom of this page, in the fine print - give them a call, and get some 'other advice'.

Good Luck, however it goes, whatever you decide to you - ya, I always believe any rift is repairable, but at some point, you have to decide if you really are gonna bail out, or no.

Thanks for the advice. Another question: Could his sister be his sponsor? I am not interested at all in being responsible for this man; at the same time, I don't want to be looked at as the evil witch that took away his GC. The fact still remains that he deceived and cheated on me and I can't seem to get over that. So, I'm prepared to walk out of this marriage and do what is best for me without hurting myself financially.

[Darnell 8,478]

re: sister - No, not for this visa and subsequent AOS and subsequent green card .

This AOS is based on marriage to a US Citizen. Period.

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Thanks for the advice. Another question: Could his sister be his sponsor? I am not interested at all in being responsible for this man; at the same time, I don't want to be looked at as the evil witch that took away his GC. The fact still remains that he deceived and cheated on me and I can't seem to get over that. So, I'm prepared to walk out of this marriage and do what is best for me without hurting myself financially.

I believe you answered your question - how can you blame yourself or paint yourself as "evil" when he is the one cheating on you?

Drop the affidavit - get divorced - move on.

[Dakine 26]

What is an I-360? You are right about this scamming. He is now very upset with me for going online trying to find answers. I will pull the I-864.

I-360 is filing a self petition for numerous reasons.

Check besaangels post about battered spouse.