Maya&Matt

I think you missed the "abuse" part. Pretty hard to do if you've actually read the OP's post.
So yeah, I'm going to "bash" you now.
Shame on you for trying to get someone to reconcile with an abusive spouse. Especially one that is physically and mentally abusive to their own child. Many a murdered/injured spouse or child would have you to thank for your "compassion quackery".
Shame on you for insinuating that it is the OP's fault his abusive spouse was cheating on him.
Lastly, shame on you for having such poor reading comprehension. I mean this in the best of ways: You need an industrial English Language Arts coach.

First of all: stop the charity. He DOES NOT need clothes for over $1000 dollar (unless he brought no clothes at all). I am not making money at the moment and I'm relying on my husband for things I need and I would never ask him to buy me expensive things.
And you have to tell him that it doesn't matter if you're a couple or strangers: it's "please" and "thank you".
Stop trying so hard to please him if he's treating you awful, it only shows him that you're willing to take it and his behavior won't stop. He is acting like a child so treat him like one: set boundaries.
As long as you're not showing him that his behavior is unacceptable he is going to keep disrespecting you and will walk all over you. Put your foot down, you can do it! I hope the two of you can work this out.

Then what do you think pulling the affidavit of support is going to do to your marriage?
Is the person who signed it aware of the issues? I guess it would be his/her decision to pull it.
I still say this is not your immigration problem, it's a marital problem. My mil could say all kinds of ####### about me, my husband would always have my back. If he didn't, I wouldn't be with him.

Residing in the same household right now is an issue, because facing the infidelity every minute of every day is taunting. I have no one else that I could stay with in the states temporarily, That is why my only option is to move home right now.
As for needing to be with family. I believe I need this more than anything.
Its easy for someone to judge my situation in a negative manner. Because it's hard to put yourself in my position.
But please don't post rude statements.
This forum is suppose to help people, not to belittle them.

I'd very much hope they'd remove the 'so help me God' finale which doesn't belong there anyway.

Oh, goodness. I'm sorry. But please re-read what you've written here and imagine a friend or sister or someone explaining it to you.
He wants you to be a stay at home mom and yet he is unwilling/unable to even support himself. Just *trying* to take the first step in supporting just himself (finding a job) was "too stressful". Can you imagine? That would be the beginning and end of that conversation for me.
From a quick google search, it looks as if there is nothing preventing him from being able to live in France if he were to marry you. He doesn't have to prove any savings, or at least not according to the French consulate in DC: http://www.consulfrance-washington.org/spip.php?article470 He doesn't speak the language? That sounds like a personal problem, to me. There is no requirement that he speak French to live in France (to become a citizen, I bet, but there's other legal status available). Furthermore, that is a very fixable personal problem. He can learn French. Literally billions of people on the planet speak more than one language. And with a little effort on his part he, too, may join their ranks.
"As a woman, it's different". End of conversation for me, too. If he'd feel like a slave as an illegal immigrant unable to work, he needs to understand you'd feel that way too. (PS, see above. He can get legal status). I don't believe in double standards, particularly not on the basis of gender and most especially not if the person talking that kind of nonsense isn't living up to the flip side of that coin (which is "as a man, he should be supporting himself, and not let "stress" keep him from being alpha-male provider". Instead, he's still suckling at Mommy's teet! Big man there). He wants a stay at home mom, sure. FOR HIM. He doesn't want a family to provide for....he wants a mother-wife to always take care of him.
Please. You are much better off living in a country with a job and legal status than you ever will be living illegally with someone who plans to "support you" as a stay at home mom but shows zero effort to actually provide that support.

I'd suggest having a discussion with him about moving to France....or somewhere else you could both live and work in the EU. if he's not willing to consider making that sacrifice for you, it seems unfair for him to expect that same sacrifice.
I completely agree with CatherineA. Would you date a French guy exhibiting the same behavior? The visa doesn't mean you have to go to the US, just that you're able to. Contact the embassy about extending the visa. Unfortunately none of us can tell you definitively if they can/will/for how long, but you should certainly try.
And expecting you to move over and burn through your savings just to survive seems childish and irresponsible.

I'm sorry, this is a really tough situation to be in. First, see if you can buy some time by extending your visa. That will help ease your mind a bit, and give you time to figure this out.
Generally, what I think is a good idea to try to to wherever possible, is to live the relationship as if immigration concerns were not an issue. This is difficult, yes. But think--if you already lived in the same country, would you consider quitting your job and relocating to be with him while he is unemployed and doesn't have his own house? The immigration thing makes it worse (ie--you have to worry about applying for AOS in 90 days, having a sponsor and you're unable to work) but---just kind of baseline question---is that something you would do? For me, the answer is "no".
There are much worse things than allowing a visa to expire. And to me, those are: living in a country illegally, unable to work, getting married to someone who doesn't keep their end of deals up, being pressured to have a baby before you're emotionally and financially ready. Is there some reason he can't come to you? If the answer is "immigration concerns" well....that shouldn't bother him too much because he's just suggested that YOU come over and live illegally, right (I'm being facetious here but there IS a good point in there).
To me, it sounds like this relationship isn't ready for the step of marriage, not necessarily because of money but because he's not keeping up his end of the "deal" and he's asking you to make WAY too many sacrifices that he doesn't seem willing to make himself. That's a big red flag right there, to me.

Perhaps he could move to France as you have a good job?

it sounds like he excluded your son on the application on purpose. he may not have wanted him here. I would think twice before bringing your child into a violent household.

You should leave this scumbag before he kills you or your child. 'Accident'? People don't try to asphyxiate each other by 'accident.'

Attorneys at naturalisation interviews are extremely rare. If I was a USCIS officer, and someone with what looked like a very vanilla case came with an atty, I would be suspicious and look at their case very closely. So my recommendation would be to not bring an atty, and if you feel your friend would be offended, maybe have him look at the evidence you plan on bringing for a second set of eyes instead.

However hard it may sound, let go and move on with your life. It seems you've wasted 14 years with this person and there is always the possibility he has been less than honest with you during this time. Take charge of your life, sever communications and be happy with someone who will love you unconditionally.

I remember when you started posting on this website, and I am very sorry to hear of your current situation. No one ever deserves to be treated this way. I think your first paragraph is true and that others may need to hear your story. What I remember is that you are deeply religious and that your situation had several red flags. I don't remember if there was an age gap, but I do remember that you have multiple children, were below the poverty level, and were researching visas before meeting in person. Unfortunately, whenever anyone mentioned these red flags or doubts about this man's intentions, you were defensive and stated your religious beliefs for having faith that everything will work itself out. I mention this not to put you down, but to let you know that I thought your husband was a scammer at that time. From your very first posts here, it seemed as though he was using your religious beliefs to manipulate you into doing whatever it took to petition for him to come here.
For him to leave you to stay with a girl friend of your one week after his arrival is completely unacceptable (from both of them)! His behavior does sound as if he is trying to control you, and I don't think it's an adjustment issue. It's an abusive situation. For him to treat you this way is abuse. You glossed over a "little physical stuff", but you need to stop making excuses for him. This acting better, then turning on you, then acting better... it's called a cycle of abuse and it is being used to keep you hoping that the situation will improve so that you will continue to provide food and resources for him until he can do it himself. Based on your religious beliefs, I know that you may be trying to do everything in your power to give this man chances to adjust so you can have a happy union. But you need to take a step back and see this situation for what it really is.
From what you've said, I do think he is unhappy with the situation, but I don't think he has any intentions of returning to his home. He has received his greed card already so there is nothing you can do from an immigration standpoint. It's possible that after he starts working and doesn't need anything else from you, he may just disappear.
I feel for you. I wish you the absolute best. And I hope you can find the strength to reach out to those in your community that can help you get away from this situation.
Please take care of yourself and your children. They don't need to see their mother being treated this way.

Wow. Every post you make seems to outdo the previous one. You do realise this is the 21st century and not 1915 right?

Further proving my point with you and mail order brides. You just want to find someone submissive who lets you have everything your way. Only child?
Women doesn't backtalk: they stand up for themselves and here's a newsflash for you: they kick men like you out on the curb in a heartbeat because they don't want a caveman.
Whatever this woman is going through, it clearly has nothing to do with what you think is going on.

All the sweet, emotionally available, well-adjusted, marriageable women in the world who are capable of forming a mature lifelong partnership, and you're sticking with THIS one?
Read your words, aloud, and ruminate on what they signify in terms of this non-relationship.

Get a divorce, you're not compatible.

Do you love her?
It doesn't matter how she appears to others.
DO YOU love her?
There is nothing you can explain to anyone, but yourself
If she is that horrible, then why are you with her?
Personal note:
There are things that I am maybe not a biggest fan that my hubby does. But who cares, I love 100% of him and that 100% includes that 5% too... So I learned and love to love that part of him.

How long do you have to be in China or Finland to marry?
I agree with the others, sounds like you are rushing things big time.

I agree that getting into a car with a stranger might not be the brightest move but apart from that this thread is ridiculous.
Meetup is a friends site not a hook up site. Immigrants want to make new friends, its hard to move to a new country and have no friends. Until you've moved to a new country for your spouse and had no friends you are not in a good position to understand this apparently.
Men and women can be platonic friends but according to some of the childish and insecure posts in here that isn't possible. I have a female coworker I've become friends with, sometimes we go for lunch together. The world hasn't ended and neither has either of our marriages. Shock horror there's nothing more than friendship involved.
Some of the people in this thread have a really closed mind and its rather sad. Rant over.

Degrading female roles. Wow.

Immigration aside if somebody you knew said they just got engaged to somebody they had known for 3 days what would you say?
And the add in everything else.
So what do you expect the Consulate to think.
Much easier than taking a boat across the Mediterranean.

Only met his mother over the phone and not introduced to any other family members?
Make a number of visits to his country, meet all family members and hang out with them before even thinking about filing.

3 day visit + age gap + high fraud country = very slim chances of approval. I would also question the wisdom of marrying someone you've spent a total of ~72 hours with. Regardless of anything else, such marriages rarely work out.