afoyoswa

Wrong.
And bars in MA are doing just fine without smoking. So are entire college campuses, including the one where I work, which is 100% non-smoking indoor and out. And our ban was passed to protect the health of workers, who may or may not have a choice of whether to work in a non-smoking or smoking establishment.

From what people have said here: when an adjudicator takes out your file to look at it, the only 3 outcomes are approval, denial, or RFE, so yes, any of these would happen roughly around the VJ estimated date.

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

I can really relate to what you wrote. I had known and been communicating and repeatedly visiting Aaron for more than a year before I told my parents that he even existed, and that was the same conversation in which I told them that we had gotten engaged. (And no, telling them in advance of the wedding, and trying to help them feel included in my own way, did not help a bit.) Oh, and I'm 33, and have been living on my own for 13 years, and 800 miles away from them for almost 11.
They were, and are, furious about it, which really hurts. Part of it is definitely xenophobia and overprotectiveness: during the only phase in the conversation when my mother seemed to be vaguely aware that this was primarily about my life and not hers, the only things she could think of to tell me were: "black men [or did she say African? or both?] really like blonde women" (implying that he only likes me because I fulfill some sort of tired stereotype), and that (in her opinion) some people only get into interracial relationships because they enjoy opposition and want to make a statement (or something like that).
Part of it is also their religious/traditional values: I (supposedly) belong to them until they give me away to some deserving man who has conducted a closely supervised, parentally sanctioned, and very chaste courtship of me on my parents' couch, or something. HA! Apparently the last 13 years have taught them nothing about me at all.
But a lot of it is just that this does not fit their image of how their life would play out, and in many ways, I and my life only really exist to them as plot devices in their life. I didn't let them write the script or stage manage the performance, which in their minds equates to love, so I must not care. They have been intensely controlling my entire life, and something like this is when those tendencies tend to flare up the most.
We're kind of at an impasse now, and have been since I told them in January. My dad had originally wanted to communicate by email with Aaron (after declining to talk to him on the phone when I offered), which Aaron was willing to do, but I eventually decided not to facilitate that due to the high likelihood that my dad would say a lot of things he would really regret later after getting to know Aaron as a real person. That, and it is really beneath my dignity as an adult to sit idly by and let other people discuss/think they are determining MY future. I think they may come here to visit in a few weeks, and if they do, I may arrange a conversation between all of us and Aaron via webcam, having told him ahead of time that I may abruptly disconnect if they get out of hand. I do want them to feel included, but not if that requires relinquishing my ownership of my own life, or hurts Aaron.
So...family harmony is important, but everyone in your family is currently mourning the demise of their vision of how you would fit into their lives and the choices you would make (as you are mourning the demise of your vision of how they would behave during this exciting time in your life!), so give them some time to work through their emotions. Once he is here, they may be ready to calm down and interact more.
I read an article the other day that said, "Your parents don’t want what is best for you. They want what is good for you, which isn’t always the same thing." They would much rather you do things in your life that are acceptable, safe, normal, and good enough, but you owe it to yourself to do the thing that is a risk but has the potential to give you the best possible, fully realized version of your life.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

Public service announcement:
I really hope your petition gets approved soon! Because otherwise, with the state of extreme indignation and high blood pressure that you seem to be in with every last post that you make, your health (and, to be honest, my patience with you) may not stand much more waiting. I would recommend acquiring a new hobby or starting some sort of new project as a way of learning to cope with this unpleasant in-between state (which most people tend to encounter time and time again throughout life, making it worth learning to handle gracefully). Everyone else here is waiting, too, just like you, and most of us manage not to be tied up in knots about it 100% of the time. Breathe.

Regardless of the projections from VJ or from USCIS itself, they'll still get to my case exactly when they get to my case, and not a day sooner, so what is the use of getting tied up in knots about projections or estimates? There is still a wide range of normal, and no way at all to predict when your particular case will be adjudicated. So...meh?

Regardless of the projections from VJ or from USCIS itself, they'll still get to my case exactly when they get to my case, and not a day sooner, so what is the use of getting tied up in knots about projections or estimates? There is still a wide range of normal, and no way at all to predict when your particular case will be adjudicated. So...meh?

So, if I'm getting this right: a beneficiary from a country with a standard of living close to or better than the U.S. = potentially resentful/deprived/preoccupied with missing everything, and a beneficiary from a country with a lower standard of living = grateful/happy/vastly improved and better life?
I realize there were a lot of "often"s and other qualifiers in there, but wow, this was really sobering. My personal viewpoint is that all beneficiaries, regardless of what their life was like pre-U.S., fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum, but I hadn't realized how much the implied inequality of this whole visa process (including but not limited to the term "beneficiary") had subtly shifted my thinking more toward the "grateful/happy" end with regard to my fiance. So, this was immensely worthwhile to read. Let's see-- the U.S. can give him: job/education opportunities, lots of entertainment options, convenience, reliable infrastructure, and me, and his country can give him: a vibrant culture rich in tradition where he has a sense of belonging and purpose and where little things like power outages, transportation difficulties, or political corruption are not enough to seriously detract from the joy of family and community life. If it weren't for me, his country would be ahead by a landslide, and our long-range plan is actually to settle there. There's no real way to quantify any of this, because you can't put a price tag on any of the really important things in life, but having a sense of loss coming to the U.S. is certainly not limited to Canadians and others experiencing economic losses.

So, if I'm getting this right: a beneficiary from a country with a standard of living close to or better than the U.S. = potentially resentful/deprived/preoccupied with missing everything, and a beneficiary from a country with a lower standard of living = grateful/happy/vastly improved and better life?
I realize there were a lot of "often"s and other qualifiers in there, but wow, this was really sobering. My personal viewpoint is that all beneficiaries, regardless of what their life was like pre-U.S., fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum, but I hadn't realized how much the implied inequality of this whole visa process (including but not limited to the term "beneficiary") had subtly shifted my thinking more toward the "grateful/happy" end with regard to my fiance. So, this was immensely worthwhile to read. Let's see-- the U.S. can give him: job/education opportunities, lots of entertainment options, convenience, reliable infrastructure, and me, and his country can give him: a vibrant culture rich in tradition where he has a sense of belonging and purpose and where little things like power outages, transportation difficulties, or political corruption are not enough to seriously detract from the joy of family and community life. If it weren't for me, his country would be ahead by a landslide, and our long-range plan is actually to settle there. There's no real way to quantify any of this, because you can't put a price tag on any of the really important things in life, but having a sense of loss coming to the U.S. is certainly not limited to Canadians and others experiencing economic losses.

So, if I'm getting this right: a beneficiary from a country with a standard of living close to or better than the U.S. = potentially resentful/deprived/preoccupied with missing everything, and a beneficiary from a country with a lower standard of living = grateful/happy/vastly improved and better life?
I realize there were a lot of "often"s and other qualifiers in there, but wow, this was really sobering. My personal viewpoint is that all beneficiaries, regardless of what their life was like pre-U.S., fall somewhere between these two ends of the spectrum, but I hadn't realized how much the implied inequality of this whole visa process (including but not limited to the term "beneficiary") had subtly shifted my thinking more toward the "grateful/happy" end with regard to my fiance. So, this was immensely worthwhile to read. Let's see-- the U.S. can give him: job/education opportunities, lots of entertainment options, convenience, reliable infrastructure, and me, and his country can give him: a vibrant culture rich in tradition where he has a sense of belonging and purpose and where little things like power outages, transportation difficulties, or political corruption are not enough to seriously detract from the joy of family and community life. If it weren't for me, his country would be ahead by a landslide, and our long-range plan is actually to settle there. There's no real way to quantify any of this, because you can't put a price tag on any of the really important things in life, but having a sense of loss coming to the U.S. is certainly not limited to Canadians and others experiencing economic losses.

Yes, wait until you have the visa. You can definitely start scouting locations, picking out decor items, and whatever else doesn't involve a definite date or having people make travel plans, but picking a date or making any concrete plans is a bad idea and a great way to add even more stress to this already stressful process.

Yes, wait until you have the visa. You can definitely start scouting locations, picking out decor items, and whatever else doesn't involve a definite date or having people make travel plans, but picking a date or making any concrete plans is a bad idea and a great way to add even more stress to this already stressful process.

Most of it depends on the discrepancy between the petitioner's and beneficiary's countries in terms of overall development, as well as on where you are in the process. K-1s still have separate finances, and CR-1/IR-1s should have mingled finances, so that changes the picture. And it really doesn't make any more sense for petitioners with beneficiaries in western Europe to come into the thread and say, "My beneficiary paid for *everything* and so should yours!" than it does for those with beneficiaries in subsaharan Africa to say, "My beneficiary has nothing and I paid for everything, and so should you!" Comments about gender roles are even less helpful: shockingly, many of the petitioners are female, saying that the man should provide for the woman ignores the economic realities of a great many of the visa processes represented here.
In the end, it really just comes down to: we all want to be together, and no one should be in this process who is not prepared to give 100% to it and to the relationship on which it is based. That means doing as much as you can and not coasting or expecting the other person to pick up the slack, whether you are apart or together.
My fiance works much harder than I do for far less money, and paying for the $240 visa fee or a ticket to travel here would be completely inconceivable when his money is just enough for routine expenses like <$1 bus rides or $2 phone credit refills so he can call and text me sometimes, but not much more. I'm hoping that he'll be able to get himself to Nairobi (~$30) and pay for the police report (~$50) but even those will be a stretch. He is doing okay where he is, but the costs of this whole process are excessive on an American scale, let alone an African one, so it's okay that I'm shouldering most of it. This doesn't have any bearing on how hard each of us works or our commitment to each other or the visa process at all. It is just as crucial that he participates fully and does what he needs to do on his end carefully and promptly as it is that someone has money to fund the whole thing. Once he gets here and is working, it will sort itself out.

Most of it depends on the discrepancy between the petitioner's and beneficiary's countries in terms of overall development, as well as on where you are in the process. K-1s still have separate finances, and CR-1/IR-1s should have mingled finances, so that changes the picture. And it really doesn't make any more sense for petitioners with beneficiaries in western Europe to come into the thread and say, "My beneficiary paid for *everything* and so should yours!" than it does for those with beneficiaries in subsaharan Africa to say, "My beneficiary has nothing and I paid for everything, and so should you!" Comments about gender roles are even less helpful: shockingly, many of the petitioners are female, saying that the man should provide for the woman ignores the economic realities of a great many of the visa processes represented here.
In the end, it really just comes down to: we all want to be together, and no one should be in this process who is not prepared to give 100% to it and to the relationship on which it is based. That means doing as much as you can and not coasting or expecting the other person to pick up the slack, whether you are apart or together.
My fiance works much harder than I do for far less money, and paying for the $240 visa fee or a ticket to travel here would be completely inconceivable when his money is just enough for routine expenses like <$1 bus rides or $2 phone credit refills so he can call and text me sometimes, but not much more. I'm hoping that he'll be able to get himself to Nairobi (~$30) and pay for the police report (~$50) but even those will be a stretch. He is doing okay where he is, but the costs of this whole process are excessive on an American scale, let alone an African one, so it's okay that I'm shouldering most of it. This doesn't have any bearing on how hard each of us works or our commitment to each other or the visa process at all. It is just as crucial that he participates fully and does what he needs to do on his end carefully and promptly as it is that someone has money to fund the whole thing. Once he gets here and is working, it will sort itself out.

I kind of skimmed over this part on the first reading, but it seems like this (bolding mine) could be a problem more than having photos in wedding attire. I have read here about other people running into situations when they had a ceremony in another country that was not legally binding in that country but ended up being considered a legitimate marriage here in the US (as many types of traditional ceremonies are: I don't have the thread handy, but there was a man who had a traditional Muslim ceremony overseas while still married to a US wife and seemed to have wound up not eligible for K-1 *or* CR-1 due to being thought to have legitimately married the 2nd spouse while still married to the 1st one, even though the 2nd marriage was not considered official in the non-US country). Was it an actual wedding ceremony, with guests and vows and all?

From what I understand, the rate change applies to the K-1 visa application fee you pay at the embassy (previously $350), not the I-129F filing fee you pay to USCIS ($340). So, you will still need to send $340 with your petition, and a personal check is fine (better than a money order, because you can easily find out when it is cashed): that's what I used.

This is one reason to be glad I'm nowhere near paying the visa fee yet! I wouldn't want to have to make the choice between saving money and speeding things up, even if only by a couple of weeks. I'm pretty ridiculously frugal, but even with that I still think I'd choose seeing my sweetheart a few weeks sooner over $110.

I know you mean well, but it really comes across as though you are equating love with the willingness to pay for a lawyer. People have a lot of different opinions about the necessity and advisability of legal representation for the K-1 process, and it probably irks you to have paid for a lawyer and then to see people ridiculing this route. That, however, is no reason to imply that those of us who haven't paid for lawyers love our fiance(e)s less than you do or to portray yourself as being superior somehow for having made the choice that you did.