zapatosfeos

First of all OMG you are only 32 thats hardly too old to start having babies, I am 35 with a 2 yr old who is very healthy. And plan on having another one in the next year or two, yikes what a dinosaur !
Second, why are you so concerned about having a healthy baby (something you CANNOT control) BUT NOT so concerned about having this man as the father of your child, and the UNHEALTHY enviroment the child would be brought up in (something you CAN control)???
BTW, I am not a doctor and have never been to medical school but didnt you say you are in the process of your boards? Isnt that like hardcore stuff?? That requires LOTS and LOTS of attention and dedication. I'm just saying if you are thinking about having a baby now and he is not willing to support you or help you....as a single mother for the last 2 years, I have not had time to go to they gym, sit in a movie or barely take a long shower, just saying.

Oh man, I have a hard time trusting a man who is constantly reminding you to trust him. I dont know how old he is, but he sounds terribly immature and not ready for a commitment. I hope you stop believing that what he has for you is love. Because a man that hits you and cheats on you does not love you..and i dont care how many times or how much he apologizes it shouldnt have happened. I wish you well. I hope you have a nice time visting your friends and family. A suggestion: pay attention to the love you recieve from them and when you go back to your husband expect nothing less.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Country of origin has nothing to do with ethics and morals, just saying. The same American that you loved enough to marry one day has not changed his nationality. Just his claws came out. I will marry a Peruvian man soon, but I will always defend my American men ! What I wont defend are low lives who mistreat their women.
Instead of thinking about suicide and feeling sorry for yourself, I encourage you to be proactive.
#1 decide what you want in life -- TO BE HAPPY
#2 decide what is keeping you from #1 -- SCUMBAG LOW LIFE
#3 decide how can you get away from #2 -- ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS THAT HE GOES TO THE BAR, GRAB 2 OR 3 THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT LEAVE BEHIND (DONT FORGET YOUR PASSPORT) AND RUN !!! -- dont turn back !!
#4 please dont do what countless other women (of ANY nationality) have done in the past and return, because yes he will tell you he has changed and things will be better. But NO they will not, if he wanted change and he wanted better he would have done it while you were still there.
In your shoes, I would consider going back home and surrounding myself with people that love me and care about me. But I dont really know you or your life or situation so all I can tell you is good luck.

Congratulations, si man!
Now, amidst so much else to do in a short time, have him get official copies of every document that would be inconvenient, expensive, or impossible to procure once he's in the U.S.: multiple copies of his birth certificate; school transcripts; professional certifications; divorce certificate if applicable; medical records (a vaccination list, stamped by his physician or clinic, can be invaluable); and anything else that you can think of.
If possible, have him renew his Peruano driver's license NOW for the longest term possible -- or, if he doesn't drive, have him do everything in his power to earn one. You'll both appreciate this later, trust me, si man.

First of all OMG you are only 32 thats hardly too old to start having babies, I am 35 with a 2 yr old who is very healthy. And plan on having another one in the next year or two, yikes what a dinosaur !
Second, why are you so concerned about having a healthy baby (something you CANNOT control) BUT NOT so concerned about having this man as the father of your child, and the UNHEALTHY enviroment the child would be brought up in (something you CAN control)???
BTW, I am not a doctor and have never been to medical school but didnt you say you are in the process of your boards? Isnt that like hardcore stuff?? That requires LOTS and LOTS of attention and dedication. I'm just saying if you are thinking about having a baby now and he is not willing to support you or help you....as a single mother for the last 2 years, I have not had time to go to they gym, sit in a movie or barely take a long shower, just saying.

Seriously Aaron, why are you being such a bully? I see your point absolutely. My fiance's mother has been denied a visitor visa 3 or 4 times, in Peru, and it sucks thta because of other people abusing the system, she cannot come to visit. But this person is here looking for advise because quite possibly they just dont know. Lets try giving Nilush benefit of the doubt a little bit. I am currently in the process of getting the K-1 visa for my fiance so that he can come, we can get married and we can finally be together. But if it wasnt for Visa Journey I would not have been able to do half of what I have done so far. When I started the process I was completely uneducated about any of the laws, rules, forms, whatever you name it. Maybe now that, thanks to your knowledge and experience, Nilush has been informed about the legal and illegal rules and consequences they will do the correct thing.
In the words of Ellen: Be nice to one another

First of all OMG you are only 32 thats hardly too old to start having babies, I am 35 with a 2 yr old who is very healthy. And plan on having another one in the next year or two, yikes what a dinosaur !
Second, why are you so concerned about having a healthy baby (something you CANNOT control) BUT NOT so concerned about having this man as the father of your child, and the UNHEALTHY enviroment the child would be brought up in (something you CAN control)???
BTW, I am not a doctor and have never been to medical school but didnt you say you are in the process of your boards? Isnt that like hardcore stuff?? That requires LOTS and LOTS of attention and dedication. I'm just saying if you are thinking about having a baby now and he is not willing to support you or help you....as a single mother for the last 2 years, I have not had time to go to they gym, sit in a movie or barely take a long shower, just saying.

First of all OMG you are only 32 thats hardly too old to start having babies, I am 35 with a 2 yr old who is very healthy. And plan on having another one in the next year or two, yikes what a dinosaur !
Second, why are you so concerned about having a healthy baby (something you CANNOT control) BUT NOT so concerned about having this man as the father of your child, and the UNHEALTHY enviroment the child would be brought up in (something you CAN control)???
BTW, I am not a doctor and have never been to medical school but didnt you say you are in the process of your boards? Isnt that like hardcore stuff?? That requires LOTS and LOTS of attention and dedication. I'm just saying if you are thinking about having a baby now and he is not willing to support you or help you....as a single mother for the last 2 years, I have not had time to go to they gym, sit in a movie or barely take a long shower, just saying.

First of all OMG you are only 32 thats hardly too old to start having babies, I am 35 with a 2 yr old who is very healthy. And plan on having another one in the next year or two, yikes what a dinosaur !
Second, why are you so concerned about having a healthy baby (something you CANNOT control) BUT NOT so concerned about having this man as the father of your child, and the UNHEALTHY enviroment the child would be brought up in (something you CAN control)???
BTW, I am not a doctor and have never been to medical school but didnt you say you are in the process of your boards? Isnt that like hardcore stuff?? That requires LOTS and LOTS of attention and dedication. I'm just saying if you are thinking about having a baby now and he is not willing to support you or help you....as a single mother for the last 2 years, I have not had time to go to they gym, sit in a movie or barely take a long shower, just saying.

I've not made any 'relationship' advice yet on this post, I tend to wait a few days and let the thread sink in ..
Here I go.
I infer that the OP's parents are pakistani, so to be fair complected is a big deal in Pakistan - it's a 'high beauty' trait there. That other beauty trait, to not be overweight, is another 'high beauty' trait there in Pakistan. I know, I know, different traits in different places, but to be fair - she's a 'catch' in Pakistan - Gorgeous by their standards, and an 'at the edge' Medical Doctor.
To complicate things, the OP and her husband are COUSINS, unsure if through the mother or father, but it blows me away that the fella shows no real interest in the commonplace, day to day love-y dove-y things that a couple WILL do. This isn't cultural, at all. IMO, the husband thinks this is an arranged marriage (which it sorta is) and for what ever reason, he's just not showing normal signs of infatuation with her. He (IMO) really isn't interested in marriage as a marriage - he's looking at 'it' more along the lines of getting into the USA. I think deep down HIS parents have some large 'move the family to the USA' project in the works, and it was convenient to them that a cousin popped up at the time she did (that's the OP, btw).
Many things smell, on this one. Sorry.

Consider reviewing the DOS Nonimmigrant K-1 visa FAQs for more information.

Ah. Now that I understand the content, that opinion is really nonsensical. OP is a medical doctor, about to get totally taken in by a blood-thirsty shark. Keep his @ss in Pakistan, I say.

no no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! no man should treat any woman like that... it will hurt YOUR future if you have him come to you and his intentions are all wrong.. YOU end up paying the price for that... IM damn lucky that my husband was brought up in a home in karachi full of unconditional love was taught respect and what love was and how to take care of his wife even if it meant cooking or cleaning and ironing... yes he was taught ironing...
No you should NOT worry about his future... you should be worried as hell about your own right now.... do what protects you... otherwise you are responsible for him for a very very long time....and btw mental and emotional abuse can be worse than physical abuse...

Dude are you serious??!! you are expressing something that is not what I think. If you go back to my replies I said 'if its not possible is not possible' so stop being mad, if you really care about people not getting their visas then relate to them and don't put them on the spot and give ur thoughts out for them because we all have enough dealing with PD and other requirements needed for everyone here to get a legal status and for some of us like me who really would like to go to school. It was really unnecessary for you to say all of that. I've had family with denied visas as well so seriously no need for all your anger to be released with me, I came here to look for advice and I found it and as I keep looking through other forums I get more acknowledge about immigration. So with that being said, no need to be upset.

Seriously Aaron, why are you being such a bully? I see your point absolutely. My fiance's mother has been denied a visitor visa 3 or 4 times, in Peru, and it sucks thta because of other people abusing the system, she cannot come to visit. But this person is here looking for advise because quite possibly they just dont know. Lets try giving Nilush benefit of the doubt a little bit. I am currently in the process of getting the K-1 visa for my fiance so that he can come, we can get married and we can finally be together. But if it wasnt for Visa Journey I would not have been able to do half of what I have done so far. When I started the process I was completely uneducated about any of the laws, rules, forms, whatever you name it. Maybe now that, thanks to your knowledge and experience, Nilush has been informed about the legal and illegal rules and consequences they will do the correct thing.
In the words of Ellen: Be nice to one another

Sometimes CBP officers make trick questions, when I got in USA with fiance visa at Miami airport, a officer asked " where did you meet ur HUSBAND?" I answered he is not my husband yet...and i met him at...."

OMG OMG OMG !!!!!! I can't believe that after all this waiting and waiting and more waiting I finally have just a TINY bit of waiting left ! The time has come, tommorrow morning is my fiance's interview!!!.... my stomach is doing flip flops, I am feeling nervous, anxious, elated, excited, impatient, scared, worried, happy and stressed all rolled up into one.

We have all papers ready ...check
We have gone over possible interview questions...check
We have further discussed our future...check
Clothes is ironed...check
Cash in wallet...check
4 alarm clocks...check
Gasoline in the car...check
I think we are as ready for tomorrow as we can possibly be. I cannot be there with him pshysically, but I will be there in spirit. I am very confident in our relationship. I advised him to be confident, smile, be friendly and be honest. I hope that his interviewer can see right through him and see what we see!!!!
So, my only question now is, how in the world do I sleep tonight ????!!! :clock:

This makes me laugh, the people who say, "well you wanted to marry a foreigner or you wanted them to come here". So are we saying that the beneficiary didn't want to come here and that we coerced them to move to the USA? Truth be told, more often than not, they have much more to benefit from in the whole thing than the US citizen. For me, I couldn't have married someone who didn't have a pot to p*ss in or a back door to throw it out of. I don't care what culture they are from. My husband is from a 3rd world country and no, he couldn't live here on his Egyptian school teacher salary. However, he does have SOMETHING to contribute and he contributed as much as possible given the circumstances. He wouldn't have had it any other way. For goodness sakes, I wasn't buying a car or a mail-order husband! And for those of you who said you shouldn't petition for someone if you can't afford to support them I say, I agree 100%. I am personally against co-sponsership. If you can't support your family then you have no business bringing someone else into the picture no matter how "in love" you are. That being said, just because I can afford to foot all the bills doesn't mean he should expect me to.

Most of it depends on the discrepancy between the petitioner's and beneficiary's countries in terms of overall development, as well as on where you are in the process. K-1s still have separate finances, and CR-1/IR-1s should have mingled finances, so that changes the picture. And it really doesn't make any more sense for petitioners with beneficiaries in western Europe to come into the thread and say, "My beneficiary paid for *everything* and so should yours!" than it does for those with beneficiaries in subsaharan Africa to say, "My beneficiary has nothing and I paid for everything, and so should you!" Comments about gender roles are even less helpful: shockingly, many of the petitioners are female, saying that the man should provide for the woman ignores the economic realities of a great many of the visa processes represented here.
In the end, it really just comes down to: we all want to be together, and no one should be in this process who is not prepared to give 100% to it and to the relationship on which it is based. That means doing as much as you can and not coasting or expecting the other person to pick up the slack, whether you are apart or together.
My fiance works much harder than I do for far less money, and paying for the $240 visa fee or a ticket to travel here would be completely inconceivable when his money is just enough for routine expenses like <$1 bus rides or $2 phone credit refills so he can call and text me sometimes, but not much more. I'm hoping that he'll be able to get himself to Nairobi (~$30) and pay for the police report (~$50) but even those will be a stretch. He is doing okay where he is, but the costs of this whole process are excessive on an American scale, let alone an African one, so it's okay that I'm shouldering most of it. This doesn't have any bearing on how hard each of us works or our commitment to each other or the visa process at all. It is just as crucial that he participates fully and does what he needs to do on his end carefully and promptly as it is that someone has money to fund the whole thing. Once he gets here and is working, it will sort itself out.

It depends on each couples circumstances, but it would be reasonable to split the costs or for the USC to pay the initial petition fee and the Beneficiary to pay the actual visa fee (both about the same amount) and share the rest of the cost. Of course this also depend on whether you both work and make an income.