Living in Hell. What are my options!!

[Alt name 1]

Z, from my time in alaska and back/forth they're also all up in Canada too (brrrrr) weather can be pretty frigid up there

To the original OP, THIS one sounds like a good case for self-filing, you sound like you've had a rough time at late. A lot of advice was posted on the evidence that can be collected, the counselling records I think are better than the police reports because it will look like you really tried. Self-filing of lifting conditions is done, passes approval, but there is a burden on you to make sure you have good solid evidence, not necessarily of her mistreatment but that through it all you were really trying to sustain a viable marriage. I wish you the best, and watch out for psychos. They could show up anywhere, even on these very boards. Good luck to ya

Cannot adjust on your own. Have to be married, better get a good lawyer that knows immigration law and even then it is 50-50% you get it to stay, with a waiver. Sounds like you married a psycho American woman, which does not surprise me in the least for they are everywhere in the USA now. Also based on all these great wonderful benefits and gifts you all get from the UK why not just go back home and live there, for it sounds like you are so disadvantaged to be living in the USA compared to the UK, it would appear that you should not even consider staying in the USA at all.

One absolutely can adjust "on their own" given circumstances. Please note - the OP already has their conditional perm residence and will only need to lift conditions should they choose to stay (which is what the OP is asking for - help with how to stay).

If there is enough bona fide evidence that the marriage was entered into legitimately, there should be no problems although the suggestion to seek competent counsel is wise.

The suggestion that psycho women are "everywhere in the US now" really isn't helpful and is a ridiculous statement.

[mystery 0]

I feel for you and so sorry you have to go through this.

But you defenitley have to look out for #1 and move on..... Get an immigration attorney and they can help you greatly!

[*JG* 2]

I'm so sorry.

[ozziekan101 0]

All the advice i've received from this forum have mostly been very helpful and supportive till date. Lots have queired my decisions to stay in the situation i'm in but i really did enter into this marriage hoping to make the best out of it. Sad thing is, i'm drained with all the events going on and dont even know if i honestly feel the same way.

Recent updates:

We've lived apart for 2 months and till now,been physically involved a couple of times. She has begged me to return home but i told her and her mother that i will return home once my safety and security is guaanteed. I told her i wanted to return home because i WANT to not out of PRESSURE. I also said i wanted to feel i wouldnt be thrown out of the apt again. Sad to say bt i've had a little bit more peace out of the house and reluctant to return until i feel i'd have the same peace.

My expectations from this statements would be she would at least do things to make me feel safe in the relationship or that all the unusual behaviour will somehow seize.

I'm currently seeing a psychologist to help me through this time and i've suggested to her to do the same as she claims to have suicidal thoughts because her marriage isnt working. This scares me quite a lot and even makes me rather stay away and visit her from time to time.

We got into another argument last weekend cos she said i didnt pick up my phone when she called me and said that my claims of me being asleep at 10.30pm are false.

I tried visiting her to talk it out but she asked me to leave the apt.

This morning she's at the court house filing for divorce. Not sure its the common trend of threat as she's always threated to do this everytime we have issues or maybe she's serious this time.

For me too, i'm too embarrassed coming here and acting indecisive about what decisions to make but going back to scotland isnt an option for me at this point because i'm doing my MBA in college here and gradually building a decent career path.

We have till end of this year to request for a removal of conditions..

What do do?

[zqt3344 21]

It feels really good to have once again found the forum thats been helpful to me in the past when i was relocating from Scotland about a year ago..

It's only sad that this time around i'm not hear to discuss anything of joy,like,'HEY, I GOT MY K-1 VISA!!' etc..

I'm rather coming here to seek help after about over a year of mental torture, stress and lack of peace of mind..

I moved here from scotland last year after my spouse filed a k-1 visa. Everything was fine back then and our love life was second to none..even though we were having a long distance relationship as she was here and i was back home in scotland.

After i moved here and got married, we moved in together and ever since then i havent had one full week without a major fight, arguement or misunderstanding..

We have been to 2 marriage counsellors and 1 financial counsellor. We even been to marriage group sessions.

We seem to have lots of expectations from each other considering we're both from different cultures.

We havent been able to agree on any major thing as the other person is still pushing for personal agenda.

The fights have gotten worse and she's getting physical.. the police have been involved on a couple of occassions and i refused to press charges on both occasions.

A lot has gone on but now, its looking like the best option is to go our seperate ways...She already has told me she's moving out b4 the weekend.

I'm tired of begging her to stay and i feel like i'm just gonna cave into her threats..

Now, the main concern is what my options are concerning my status here...I already got the condtional GC in january and have 2 years to go.

Sought legal advice and i was told i could file an i-751 but i dont know the success rate of that if i was to file alone on grounds on entered marriage in good faith but it didnt work.. I know i could go on the grounds of abuse and mental torture but i unfortunately didnt press any charges when i could so i have no proof of that..Not even proof of the time, she put all my property in trash bags and brought them to me at work or the time she destroyed all she ever bought for me even up till toothbrush,birthday cards, joint vision board plans etc..she shredded it all..

I'm scared for my life and sanity. My family is worried she may hurt me but i dont wanna lose my status here but it feels like i'm caught in between fire and the deep blue sea..

I NEED HELP, ADVICE !! I need protection. My career and every other thing is going just fine but its a living hell at home.

What are my options and where do i go from here...My conditonal GC expires in january '09 but whether i'd still be able to cope with my spouse till then is a major doubt only by divine intervention

Hmmm, she's abusing you so bad to can't stay with her, but you refused to press charges. I wonder why? Sounds like we're only getting one side of the stroy here. Unless of course you just used her to get into the US and now you want to justify your separation, then it all makes sense.

Yeah, because people from the UK are just DYING to give up their "free" healthcare, long vacations, and many other benefits to move to a strange country where they get absolutely nothing. Good call there, Einstein.

I'm sure their "free" health care is great!

Charlie, I’ve noticed your posts before like for that girl from an East European country getting her B2 visa to go to her fiancé funeral. And Platypius is right. People do not give up on their lives just to go to the States! Free healthcare in Europe is really good and people here are really lucky to have some benefits that don’t exist in the States but they go there to be with the person they love not because they are going to live better. Maybe they will maybe not. I hate to go true this process and I know I have to start all over although I have Masters and bunch of work experience. But I’ll do it for my love!

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

[Bassi and Zainab 1]

It feels really good to have once again found the forum thats been helpful to me in the past when i was relocating from Scotland about a year ago..

It's only sad that this time around i'm not hear to discuss anything of joy,like,'HEY, I GOT MY K-1 VISA!!' etc..

I'm rather coming here to seek help after about over a year of mental torture, stress and lack of peace of mind..

I moved here from scotland last year after my spouse filed a k-1 visa. Everything was fine back then and our love life was second to none..even though we were having a long distance relationship as she was here and i was back home in scotland.

After i moved here and got married, we moved in together and ever since then i havent had one full week without a major fight, arguement or misunderstanding..

We have been to 2 marriage counsellors and 1 financial counsellor. We even been to marriage group sessions.

We seem to have lots of expectations from each other considering we're both from different cultures.

We havent been able to agree on any major thing as the other person is still pushing for personal agenda.

The fights have gotten worse and she's getting physical.. the police have been involved on a couple of occassions and i refused to press charges on both occasions.

A lot has gone on but now, its looking like the best option is to go our seperate ways...She already has told me she's moving out b4 the weekend.

I'm tired of begging her to stay and i feel like i'm just gonna cave into her threats..

Now, the main concern is what my options are concerning my status here...I already got the condtional GC in january and have 2 years to go.

Sought legal advice and i was told i could file an i-751 but i dont know the success rate of that if i was to file alone on grounds on entered marriage in good faith but it didnt work.. I know i could go on the grounds of abuse and mental torture but i unfortunately didnt press any charges when i could so i have no proof of that..Not even proof of the time, she put all my property in trash bags and brought them to me at work or the time she destroyed all she ever bought for me even up till toothbrush,birthday cards, joint vision board plans etc..she shredded it all..

I'm scared for my life and sanity. My family is worried she may hurt me but i dont wanna lose my status here but it feels like i'm caught in between fire and the deep blue sea..

I NEED HELP, ADVICE !! I need protection. My career and every other thing is going just fine but its a living hell at home.

What are my options and where do i go from here...My conditonal GC expires in january '09 but whether i'd still be able to cope with my spouse till then is a major doubt only by divine intervention

Hmmm, she's abusing you so bad to can't stay with her, but you refused to press charges. I wonder why? Sounds like we're only getting one side of the stroy here. Unless of course you just used her to get into the US and now you want to justify your separation, then it all makes sense.

Yeah, because people from the UK are just DYING to give up their "free" healthcare, long vacations, and many other benefits to move to a strange country where they get absolutely nothing. Good call there, Einstein.

I'm sure their "free" health care is great!

Charlie, I’ve noticed your posts before like for that girl from an East European country getting her B2 visa to go to her fiancé funeral. And Platypius is right. People do not give up on their lives just to go to the States! Free healthcare in Europe is really good and people here are really lucky to have some benefits that don’t exist in the States but they go there to be with the person they love not because they are going to live better. Maybe they will maybe not. I hate to go true this process and I know I have to start all over although I have Masters and bunch of work experience. But I’ll do it for my love!

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

But his flag shows Togo. Is he from Togo?

[StillThePrettiest 3]

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

you know, you're the first person in here who's made me want to resort to name-calling

Edited January 14, 2008 by StillThePrettiest

[Krikit 1,163]

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

Are you some kind of nut? Please stop subjecting everyone to your unhelpful and offensive posts and keep your personal feelings to yourself. If you have nothing to offer, then offer nothing. Thank you.

[TracyTN 237]

But his flag shows Togo. Is he from Togo?

I wondered the same thing!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

All the advice i've received from this forum have mostly been very helpful and supportive till date. Lots have queired my decisions to stay in the situation i'm in but i really did enter into this marriage hoping to make the best out of it. Sad thing is, i'm drained with all the events going on and dont even know if i honestly feel the same way.

Recent updates:

We've lived apart for 2 months and till now,been physically involved a couple of times. She has begged me to return home but i told her and her mother that i will return home once my safety and security is guaanteed. I told her i wanted to return home because i WANT to not out of PRESSURE. I also said i wanted to feel i wouldnt be thrown out of the apt again. Sad to say bt i've had a little bit more peace out of the house and reluctant to return until i feel i'd have the same peace.

My expectations from this statements would be she would at least do things to make me feel safe in the relationship or that all the unusual behaviour will somehow seize.

I'm currently seeing a psychologist to help me through this time and i've suggested to her to do the same as she claims to have suicidal thoughts because her marriage isnt working. This scares me quite a lot and even makes me rather stay away and visit her from time to time.

We got into another argument last weekend cos she said i didnt pick up my phone when she called me and said that my claims of me being asleep at 10.30pm are false.

I tried visiting her to talk it out but she asked me to leave the apt.

This morning she's at the court house filing for divorce. Not sure its the common trend of threat as she's always threated to do this everytime we have issues or maybe she's serious this time.

For me too, i'm too embarrassed coming here and acting indecisive about what decisions to make but going back to scotland isnt an option for me at this point because i'm doing my MBA in college here and gradually building a decent career path.

We have till end of this year to request for a removal of conditions..

What do do?

If she is really filing for divorce, there's not much you can do for the marriage, but there is a lot you can do for yourself. While things are amicable, make sure you have copies of all of the evidence of your commingling of finances, and joint obligations, taxes etc. You will need them if you file alone to remove conditions.

[~Laura and Nick~ 5]

Just wanted to say...stay strong

[zqt3344 21]

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

you know, you're the first person in here who's made me want to resort to name-calling

[zqt3344 21]

I guess the truth hurts or else you would not be so upset, how is it offensive to suggest that someone go where the health care is much better than in the USA? I mean how is it not helpful, just great advice, go where it is free and great, why not go????

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

Are you some kind of nut? Please stop subjecting everyone to your unhelpful and offensive posts and keep your personal feelings to yourself. If you have nothing to offer, then offer nothing. Thank you.

[JenT 0]

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

you know, you're the first person in here who's made me want to resort to name-calling

The "ignore" feature on tihs site has saved me a lot of aggravation.....

[zqt3344 21]

Right, sure it is so good you left it behind to come to the USA and suffer, why not make your love go to Europe for that wonderful free healthcare and live there instead of USA.

you know, you're the first person in here who's made me want to resort to name-calling

The "ignore" feature on tihs site has saved me a lot of aggravation.....