Do you know the feeling ... ?

[M4rinus 1]

Do you know the feeling of stress because of the long period of time being apart.

Seeing each other for a couple of weeks to then not see each other for several months.

Well I do...

And its hard, especially when she has a hard time dealing with it ...

Theres a lot of valid fears for the future in her life, that grow out of proportion sometimes.

She sometimes hides the things that hurt her. In this case her feelings for me.

Its not that she doesnt love me.

Its just the distance thing that after two years is getting to us.

Weve had it.

I want to be with her now.... and I mean NOW.

But I cant. I have to wait for the K1.

And before that happens, I will have to wait until december.

Only to be parted again.

We'll be filing it soon.

Who has experience with this, and maybe some comforting words of support.

Because I feel really alone right now...

[MissStacey 1]

I saw my husband for a total of 4 days in the 10 months I was in Canada awaiting my Visa.

It was a surreal experience. Now that I am back in the US- those 10 months seem like a weird, distant memory.

One day it will all be a memory for you too.

I spent most of my free time on VJ- knowing I wasn't alone in going through this really helped me.

Edited August 30, 2007 by Stacey33

[Fandango 1,440]

'If you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done'

Hang in there...of course we've all feel/felt it. This too shall pass!

[Elphie 0]

You're not alone. All of us here {except for a very few lucky ones} have had to spend some time apart from our SO's. You go through ups and downs emotionally. Some days are good, some are bad. Just try to keep your chin up...the waiting will be worth it once it's over because, and I have said this a few times...you will never take your SO for granted once they are here.

[Nagishkaw 510]

It has been many moons ( so to speak ) since I saw my SO's radiant beauty shine before me. There is a lot of sadness in my heart and a lot of grief that cannot be expressed. My tears are many. I do not know what tomorrow may bring , but faith in the Almighty sustains me and keeps me standing .

I know of others in this world who have been separated for very longer periods of time, and I think I cannot complain that it is almost one year now. I do not like to speak of our troubles . I think LisaD and Stacey summed it up beautifully, though.

[Mephys 2]

You are not alone in there and let me tell you the day you will be together you will see this as a bad dream. Just hang in there!!

We were seeing each other only few days at a time and were apart for few months, and I have never cried so much in my life for missing someone. It took us about 20 months to get through it because we had to wait for his divorce papers to file for the K-1 and that time was a rude challenge on us. But it made us stronger in the end. Now I have been in the US with him for 4 months and I am happy I didn't give up. I almost did many times. But don't!!!!

It's gonna be all worthed in the end, trust me. I'm approximating really quick that if you file in December 07, and lets say it would take around 8 months, that's 12 months left. It seems like a long run, but you will have many years of happiness ahead and will realize it did pass faster than you would have thought.

Just hang in there, and VJ is here to support both of you!

[*JG* 2]

Yes, we've all been there. Although I didn't get to spend "weeks" at a time with my SO. Days.......really short days.

Hang in there. When it's all said and done, all this will be barely a memory.

[Ta Ta 1]

It has been 15 months since I have seen my fiance. I can not visit for the rest of this year because of political unrest and election

violence.

Communicate often and share feelings about the separation. Send special packages to each other.

You need a strong commitment no matter what in this process.

Best wishes

[BabyBlueSusie 1]

believe me, we know the feeling...the only advice that i can give is to keep it positive...whenever my fiance starts saying how hard it is, or how long its been/will be til we see eachother again, i tell him to shutup because i dont want to hear that...it might seem mean, but speaking that way will only make it worse...we both know how hard it is, so lets just try and make the best of it...try your best not to think about how long it is/has been, because then it will seem even longer...its ok for him to tell me he misses me, but only once in a while (and i KNOW he misses me, so he doesnt even really need to tell me)...try not to take your frustrations out on eachother, because youre in this together

just a few short months, and itll all be over with

[Jasman0717 9]

It sucks being away from your loved one, I hope I never have to experience that again

[chri'stina 190]

I definitely know how you feel. After talking online for 2 years we finally met, and then were again separated for 11 months during the K1 visa process, etc. It was very hard and I didn't like it at all.

I'm not sure what I could say that would make you feel better at the moment, but know it will all be in the past soon, as hard as it is to think that way. My husband has been here 3 years(on Sept 2) and I can't believe he's been here that long already. During the waiting every day felt long but now since he's been here time has gone fast. You will be in the same situation one day soon.

[M4rinus 1]

The package is as good as done.

I assembled it, and it just arrived at her house.

Some autographs, a new envelope (wrong address) and a new cover letter (wrong address) and the cheque

And its done

So were gonna be september filers...

(hopefully)

So Im counting on valentines day

i know i know

it might now happen

but it could ... technically...

the main problem i have is that a close friend of her might be abusing her need for affection (me)

and is taking advantage of it and trying to make moves at her.

Not that she wants anything to do with him in that way ... but still ... its scary

What if he does kiss her again and she'll be too confused to know what to make of it...

itll be ok though ...

eventually

two songs for people missing their loved ones :

Bubbly

10 hours

[Jaseball 0]

You need to trust your girl won't do any kissing or any sort of cheating action. If she does, you have to kick her to the curb. At least, that is what I would do.

As far as the being apart thing goes for me....I tell myself my girl is the real deal and we'll be happy together then the time waiting won't matter. I use the time waiting to continue getting to know her and keep up with her life when we communicate. The other 98% of the time or more of the time I am trying to live my life and improve myself, just like I would be doing if I were single and dating, had a girlfriend in the US, etc.

I also tell myself that this is a K1. It's marriage. It's saying she is the woman who is going to be my partner in every aspect. There will be no more flings, one night stands, girl friends, easy breakups, and on this path I need to make major adjustments in my own life as well and make sure this is the right decision.

[Mephys 2]

Honestly, while the K-1 was pending, my lack of affection was only fullfilled by talking to my man on the webcam. Other girls have tried to say things like "look at that guy, etc" but I was honestly totally devoted to my fiance ( now husband) and would have never ever being able to do something like that to him. When someone is truly in love, there is no things like that IMO. I didn't even want to pay attention to anybody else. Not even my friends.

You should have a talk with her about it, I don't what happened, but that's something serious to be engaged and come here with a K-1, it's not just an airplane ticket.

[Jaseball 0]

Honestly, while the K-1 was pending, my lack of affection was only fullfilled by talking to my man on the webcam. Other girls have tried to say things like "look at that guy, etc" but I was honestly totally devoted to my fiance ( now husband) and would have never ever being able to do something like that to him. When someone is truly in love, there is no things like that IMO. I didn't even want to pay attention to anybody else. Not even my friends.

You should have a talk with her about it, I don't what happened, but that's something serious to be engaged and come here with a K-1, it's not just an airplane ticket.

This is exactly true. A woman who truly loves you just won't be tempted and won't risk the relationship. The people I hate most are the ones who keep saying they love you or whatever, but they cheated and slept around.

If they love you, they can't cheat. You have to look at what people do and not what they say.

However, to the OP. Don't bring up your doubts or accuse or do anything like that. If your gut tells you something is wrong or there are warning signs you should slowly dig and gauge how she is with you and give her a break for bad days here and there. If she is always listless, disinterested, or if you are always contacting her first, then you have some serious problems to confront and work out.