Fiance Disapeared !!

[jonkam 0]

Marriage/family law is almost completely separate from immigration law.

In most states, anyone can get married without regard to immigration status. So if she wants to marry someone, she can.

However, if she came in on a K-1, the only way she can adjust status is via a marriage to you, the original petitioner (that's INA 245(d)). A marriage to someone else doesn't do any good for her immigration status. If she marries someone else, she'll be illegal from the time her K-1 status expires until she leaves the US, gets a proper visa, and re-enters the US. She will have some difficulties explaining why she got the K-1 with one person and so quickly changed her mind and married another person -- they'll rightly suspect fraud.

from what everyone has said, it does bother me that she could get married. It is good to know that she could not get AOS. I doubt that if she left she could ever get another VISA. It would be totally wrong if it did happen, especially when legit cases get turned down

[Mononoke28 134]

I would make the infopass appointment and find out how to cancel everything due to visa fraud. I'm sure there are a lot of people who see a USC as a lottery ticket to come to the US not knowing that they can't get a green card if they don't follow through with the process. She's doomed.

[Jaseball 0]

Marriage/family law is almost completely separate from immigration law.

In most states, anyone can get married without regard to immigration status. So if she wants to marry someone, she can.

However, if she came in on a K-1, the only way she can adjust status is via a marriage to you, the original petitioner (that's INA 245(d)). A marriage to someone else doesn't do any good for her immigration status. If she marries someone else, she'll be illegal from the time her K-1 status expires until she leaves the US, gets a proper visa, and re-enters the US. She will have some difficulties explaining why she got the K-1 with one person and so quickly changed her mind and married another person -- they'll rightly suspect fraud.

from what everyone has said, it does bother me that she could get married. It is good to know that she could not get AOS. I doubt that if she left she could ever get another VISA. It would be totally wrong if it did happen, especially when legit cases get turned down

That's why I don't understand what she is thinking. You can drive yourself nuts thinking about all the possibilities. Could be another illegal from Brazil over here on an overstayed visa. Sure they could get married, but what would be the point? Unless she changes to a fake or stolen identity sooner or later she'll pop up on the system. Once caught and deported she'll be banned from here for good. Living like a fugitive, always looking over your shoulder, not having basic documents, etc. Who wants to live like that?

[Caladan 19]

She wouldn't be the first woman to lie about her sexual experience. If the only reason you have to suspect her of cheating is that she's suddenly adventurous in bed, well, that seems a bit of a stretch to me. And if C. suggested I was cheating on him out of the blue I'd be pretty annoyed, too (were you expecting her to prove her innocence by smiling? Or if she had smiled would you now be taking *that* as evidence she was cheating on you?)

With respect, I think you need to take a step back and not what-if yourself around in circles. What's the facts? Your fiancee has disappeared and is not communicating with you. Anything else is speculation.

If you're sure this is over (and you sound sure), make an Infopass appointment and let USCIS know of what's happened. You're not on the hook for anything, and she can't adjust status off of the K-1 unless she marries you. Report it, and let it go, and move on with your life; there's nothing more you can do. Her visa's good for 90 days whether you report her or not, and it's her responsibility to leave the country, and ICE's responsibility to enforce it, not yours.

[jonkam 0]

The email could just be lack of access to the Internet. Just the fact she packed up and left like that is just disrespectful and sad. You have not been able to get in a conversation directly with her since she took off?

If you do reach her you have to control your emotions. Ask her what she is doing and what her plans were when she was still out of the US and exactly what she plans on doing now when she is here for 90 days on a K1.

If you can talk to the friends try to get in contact with her directly, but tell them to pass on the message that you are not going to just let this matter drop and it is in her best interest to talk with you first.

Instead of jumping to conclusions on the intimate acts thing or letting your imagination run wild you have to consider any woman who pulls a stunt like this wouldn't think twice about lying about her sexual history or other areas.

I really do feel for you. Before I started this visa process and even now the story with my uncle and some nightmare situation like the one you are dealing with are always on my mind. I am definitely far more suspicious, but I'm not stupid enough to think something like this can't happen to me, even though I think about it and try keep my eyes and mind open to protect myself.

I am generally a calm person, so if I do get a chance to talk with her i am quite sure I can control myself. Its easy to say that now, but who knows. As far as the sexual history thing. I am quite sure I was the first, because it is difficult for a woman to fake the physical signs of her first time. If you know what I mean.

I did tell her friend to pass a message on. As I said, i did talk to 3 differnt people and got 3 different stories as to her whereabouts. her friends son told me that she got cold feet and was on her way to Texas to stay with friends. This was the first time I heard about " friends in Texas". Several hours later I talked to her friend, ( a lady in her mid-sixties). She mentioned that she left to go back home because her mother is sick. Her mother is sick and has been for a while. So I think if this was true and wanted to be with me, she could have came at a later date. And, when I confronted her about what her son told me earlier, she said he was mistaken. I called her house and she did not go home. I think this whole thing was planned for a while, how long, I'm not sure. I know people know more about everything and won't tell me.

[Jaseball 0]

She wouldn't be the first woman to lie about her sexual experience. If the only reason you have to suspect her of cheating is that she's suddenly adventurous in bed, well, that seems a bit of a stretch to me. And if C. suggested I was cheating on him out of the blue I'd be pretty annoyed, too (were you expecting her to prove her innocence by smiling? Or if she had smiled would you now be taking *that* as evidence she was cheating on you?)

With respect, I think you need to take a step back and not what-if yourself around in circles. What's the facts? Your fiancee has disappeared and is not communicating with you. Anything else is speculation.

If you're sure this is over (and you sound sure), make an Infopass appointment and let USCIS know of what's happened. You're not on the hook for anything, and she can't adjust status off of the K-1 unless she marries you. Report it, and let it go, and move on with your life; there's nothing more you can do. Her visa's good for 90 days whether you report her or not, and it's her responsibility to leave the country, and ICE's responsibility to enforce it, not yours.

Yeah you can take the scientific, only the facts approach. Sort of like a doctor telling you about your test results and having cancer and being dead in 3-6 months. There are many ways to approach the same situation and some are far more effective for one person, while another is more effective for others.

This poster just went through the entire visa process and devoted a ton of time, money, sweat and effort into his case. Being in his position and turning to these boards for advice or a pat on the back or encouragement isn't asking too much.

It's hard enough breaking up or getting deceived and dumped without all the hassle and embarrassment of the visa process. Friends and family usually help in hard times like this. If posting or talking about it or just knowing other people heard his story and emphasize and send their well wishes helps, then I see nothing wrong with it.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

I have a question? Where did she get the money to travel all over the US?

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Naturally, she can marry anyone. However, as petitioner of her K-1 visa, she must marry you and only you in order to adjust status. When her 90 days expires, she will be in violation of immigration law if not married to you. If this is not a resolvable situation, I would inform the USCIS of her status.

[jonkam 0]

I have a question? Where did she get the money to travel all over the US?

Your guess is as good as mine. She comes from a family of limited means. Someone is helping her. Who I don't know.

Hate to leave, but i have to go meet a client for a short time.

I do thank everyone for the info and support. The past couple of days I have been losing it. I Do feel beter and more informed about my situation.I don't really have any family and i B.S.'ed to my friends about the situation. I told them she had a family emergency. They had been warning me from the begining. I just didn't want the "I TOLD YOU SO" responses. They never knew her, but like most they only knew about the horror stories. And now I'm in one.

[Caladan 19]

She wouldn't be the first woman to lie about her sexual experience. If the only reason you have to suspect her of cheating is that she's suddenly adventurous in bed, well, that seems a bit of a stretch to me. And if C. suggested I was cheating on him out of the blue I'd be pretty annoyed, too (were you expecting her to prove her innocence by smiling? Or if she had smiled would you now be taking *that* as evidence she was cheating on you?)

With respect, I think you need to take a step back and not what-if yourself around in circles. What's the facts? Your fiancee has disappeared and is not communicating with you. Anything else is speculation.

If you're sure this is over (and you sound sure), make an Infopass appointment and let USCIS know of what's happened. You're not on the hook for anything, and she can't adjust status off of the K-1 unless she marries you. Report it, and let it go, and move on with your life; there's nothing more you can do. Her visa's good for 90 days whether you report her or not, and it's her responsibility to leave the country, and ICE's responsibility to enforce it, not yours.

Yeah you can take the scientific, only the facts approach. Sort of like a doctor telling you about your test results and having cancer and being dead in 3-6 months. There are many ways to approach the same situation and some are far more effective for one person, while another is more effective for others.

This poster just went through the entire visa process and devoted a ton of time, money, sweat and effort into his case. Being in his position and turning to these boards for advice or a pat on the back or encouragement isn't asking too much.

It's hard enough breaking up or getting deceived and dumped without all the hassle and embarrassment of the visa process. Friends and family usually help in hard times like this. If posting or talking about it or just knowing other people heard his story and emphasize and send their well wishes helps, then I see nothing wrong with it.

And there's nothing wrong with venting. And a pat on the back is fine. But at the end of the day, the salacious details don't matter much to the immigration liabilities, which is the focus of this board.

[jonkam 0]

She wouldn't be the first woman to lie about her sexual experience. If the only reason you have to suspect her of cheating is that she's suddenly adventurous in bed, well, that seems a bit of a stretch to me. And if C. suggested I was cheating on him out of the blue I'd be pretty annoyed, too (were you expecting her to prove her innocence by smiling? Or if she had smiled would you now be taking *that* as evidence she was cheating on you?)

With respect, I think you need to take a step back and not what-if yourself around in circles. What's the facts? Your fiancee has disappeared and is not communicating with you. Anything else is speculation.

If you're sure this is over (and you sound sure), make an Infopass appointment and let USCIS know of what's happened. You're not on the hook for anything, and she can't adjust status off of the K-1 unless she marries you. Report it, and let it go, and move on with your life; there's nothing more you can do. Her visa's good for 90 days whether you report her or not, and it's her responsibility to leave the country, and ICE's responsibility to enforce it, not yours.

AS for the sexual expeirence thing. I posted that it would be near impossible for a woman to fake the physical signs of it being their first time.

It is easier said than done, letting it go and moving on. I know this is what I must do. But,this just happened, so give me a break.

[Jaseball 0]

I have a question? Where did she get the money to travel all over the US?

Your guess is as good as mine. She comes from a family of limited means. Someone is helping her. Who I don't know.

Hate to leave, but i have to go meet a client for a short time.

I do thank everyone for the info and support. The past couple of days I have been losing it. I Do feel beter and more informed about my situation.I don't really have any family and i B.S.'ed to my friends about the situation. I told them she had a family emergency. They had been warning me from the begining. I just didn't want the "I TOLD YOU SO" responses. They never knew her, but like most they only knew about the horror stories. And now I'm in one.

Keep your head up. Tell the friends. The good ones will give you just a little grief before taking you out for a beer and offering their own advice and giving you the chance to vent in person. They should understand your feelings and cut you some slack.

You're still alive and healthy with your life to live. Sure you got duped and this is definitely a situation you will need time to think through and resolve. It may even put a ding in your nice guy persona and make you far more cynical, but keep in mind that deception and these things happen to plenty of people all the time.

Remind yourself she at least did you the favor of running off at the start. I think it is far worse getting married in good faith, when your partner is just counting the days until they are naturalized and then they divorce you and take whatever they can from you emotionally and financially.

Be glad you are not that Australian farmer who went to Africa to collect his $85K dowry for marrying African royalty. That guy got kidnapped at the airport and almost got executed while being held for ransom.

[Logres 0]

I have a question? Where did she get the money to travel all over the US?

Your guess is as good as mine. She comes from a family of limited means. Someone is helping her. Who I don't know.

Hate to leave, but i have to go meet a client for a short time.

I do thank everyone for the info and support. The past couple of days I have been losing it. I Do feel beter and more informed about my situation.I don't really have any family and i B.S.'ed to my friends about the situation. I told them she had a family emergency. They had been warning me from the begining. I just didn't want the "I TOLD YOU SO" responses. They never knew her, but like most they only knew about the horror stories. And now I'm in one.

Keep your head up. Tell the friends. The good ones will give you just a little grief before taking you out for a beer and offering their own advice and giving you the chance to vent in person. They should understand your feelings and cut you some slack.

You're still alive and healthy with your life to live. Sure you got duped and this is definitely a situation you will need time to think through and resolve. It may even put a ding in your nice guy persona and make you far more cynical, but keep in mind that deception and these things happen to plenty of people all the time.

Remind yourself she at least did you the favor of running off at the start. I think it is far worse getting married in good faith, when your partner is just counting the days until they are naturalized and then they divorce you and take whatever they can from you emotionally and financially.

Be glad you are not that Australian farmer who went to Africa to collect his $85K dowry for marrying African royalty. That guy got kidnapped at the airport and almost got executed while being held for ransom.

Did his friends or family meet the woman in question previous to the 'vanishing'? People are generally quite perceptive, it seems unlikely that no one would not spot some early signs in this kind of circumstance.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

Thank god there are only a few of these stories here on VJ!!!

[rakkaus 0]

I have a question? Where did she get the money to travel all over the US?

Your guess is as good as mine. She comes from a family of limited means. Someone is helping her. Who I don't know.

Hate to leave, but i have to go meet a client for a short time.

I do thank everyone for the info and support. The past couple of days I have been losing it. I Do feel beter and more informed about my situation.I don't really have any family and i B.S.'ed to my friends about the situation. I told them she had a family emergency. They had been warning me from the begining. I just didn't want the "I TOLD YOU SO" responses. They never knew her, but like most they only knew about the horror stories. And now I'm in one.

Keep your head up. Tell the friends. The good ones will give you just a little grief before taking you out for a beer and offering their own advice and giving you the chance to vent in person. They should understand your feelings and cut you some slack.

You're still alive and healthy with your life to live. Sure you got duped and this is definitely a situation you will need time to think through and resolve. It may even put a ding in your nice guy persona and make you far more cynical, but keep in mind that deception and these things happen to plenty of people all the time.

Remind yourself she at least did you the favor of running off at the start. I think it is far worse getting married in good faith, when your partner is just counting the days until they are naturalized and then they divorce you and take whatever they can from you emotionally and financially.

Be glad you are not that Australian farmer who went to Africa to collect his $85K dowry for marrying African royalty. That guy got kidnapped at the airport and almost got executed while being held for ransom.

Did his friends or family meet the woman in question previous to the 'vanishing'? People are generally quite perceptive, it seems unlikely that no one would not spot some early signs in this kind of circumstance.

Regarding EdintheUK's question, you mentioned your friends had been warning you about something. What was it they saw? (no problem if it's private, but might be relevant to the advice you're asking?)