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Back After 10 Years, & a Controlling Russian Wife [split topic]

By Nick_Moscow in Russia, Ukraine and Belarus

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Nick_Moscow Contributor

Nick_Moscow   2

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
 Timeline
Posted

Any of you oldies but goodies still around?  Haven't logged in or posted for ten years, which incidentally is right around when our first kid was born :D

After having finished TWO of the new "90's/2000's" TV shows, Lixariye and Comeback, I am wondering if I'm not being forgiving/understanding enough with my Russkyi wifey :( .  She seems to have HUGE control issues yet always twists things around to make it seem like *I am being unreasonable!  It seems like the controlling behavior is over-the-top but after being reminded (in these two shows) of the HELL that the nineties were for so many kids who were in their formative years, now I'm wondering if it is ME who is phucking things up by not being compassionate enough!

Do y'all's Russkiye (Frmr Svt Union) wives also exhibit over-the-top, unacceptably controlling behavior?  What helps you cope with it?  How do you separate the excessively controlling behavior from accurate, healthy boundaries from a spouse that you would expect from anyone?

This is a shot in the dark but I wasn't sure where to post this and after logging in for the first time in a decade it was refreshing to see that familiar faces were still actively posting.  LMAO after doing a search for 'controlling Russian wives" and finding this thread it was hilarious that I actually REMEMBER these posts!!

 

These Russkiy wives of ours who were 6+ yo for a significant pat of the nineties went through hell-acious turmoil and uncertainty....what goal posts do you notice  for when your Russian wife is acting far too controlling!?

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for any/all replies!!!!

TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   48,677

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted

The above post is split from this now-closed old thread:

https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/112070-my-wife-left-me/

1 hour ago, Nick_Moscow said:

Any of you oldies but goodies still around?

Nick, not a R/U/B type here, but great to see someone from my VJ era!

1 hour ago, Nick_Moscow said:

after doing a search for 'controlling Russian wives" and finding this thread it was hilarious that I actually REMEMBER these posts!!

Another thread of great previous input and hilarity is this one:

Read through it to enjoy posts from old members, and maybe you'll find information for your current situation.  Others here now will almost certainly respond.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

TBoneTX Grand Master

TBoneTX   48,677

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
 Timeline
Posted

Not Russian, but still...

https://ifunny.co/picture/will-a-latina-be-the-death-of-you-si-yes-GlSeRN628?s=cl

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Dashinka Grand Master

Dashinka   26,336

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
 Timeline
Posted

Not my experience.  Wonder if it is a product of where someone grows up in Russia (i.e. Moscow/St. Petes vs not), or just human variation.

Visa Received : 2014-04-04 (K1 - see timeline for details)

US Entry : 2014-09-12

POE: Detroit

Marriage : 2014-09-27

I-765 Approved: 2015-01-09

I-485 Interview: 2015-03-11

I-485 Approved: 2015-03-13

Green Card Received: 2015-03-24 Yeah!!!

I-751 ROC Submitted: 2016-12-20

I-751 NOA Received:  2016-12-29

I-751 Biometrics Appt.:  2017-01-26

I-751 Interview:  2018-04-10

I-751 Approved:  2018-05-04

N400 Filed:  2018-01-13

N400 Biometrics:  2018-02-22

N400 Interview:  2018-04-10

N400 Approved:  2018-04-10

Oath Ceremony:  2018-06-11 - DONE!!!!!!!

.yana Community Regular

.yana   648

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
 Timeline
Posted

As a "Russkiye" wife who grew up in the 90s Russia myself, I find this post incredibly annoying can you elaborate on what your wife does that you deem "over-the-top" controlling? 

Since you seem to think all of us are one and the same, I will try to get to the bottom of this for you.

 

 

 

Timeline:

Spoiler

AOS Journey:

Spoiler

 

08/19/2016 - day 0 - I-485, I-130, I-765 sent to USCIS office in Chicago (PD: 08/23/2016)

08/31/2016 - day 9 - electronic NOAs received via text and email, check is cashed.

09/08/2016 - day 17 - biometrics appointment notice received in the mail (appointment date 09/19/2016).

09/13/2016 - day 22 - early biometrics walk in.

10/28/2016 - day 67 - EAD status changed to "New Card Is Being Produced".

11/16/2016 - day 87 - EAD card received in mail.

06/27/2017 - day 309 - contacted the congressman office.

07/28/2017 - day 340 - finally received an interview appointment in mail (online status has not changed).

08/31/2017 - day 374 - Interview; I-485 status changed to 'New Card Is Being Produced'

09/08/2017 - day 382 - greencard received in mail

I-751 & N400 Journey:

Spoiler

06/20/2019 - day 1036 - ROC packet mailed (PD: 06/21/2019)

06/29/2019 - day 1045 - NOA/Extension letter received in the mail (new GC expiration date is 2/28/2021)

01/17/2020 - day 1256 - biometrics appointment

06/03/2020 - day 1382 - N400 filed online (PD: 06/04/2020)

02/01/2021 - day 1626 - Biometric Reuse notice uploaded to my online account

02/08/2021 - day 1634 - Interview Appointment notice uploaded to my online account

03/16/2021 - day 1670 - N400 Interview - passed; due to I-751 stuck in another office 'No decision can be made at this time'

06/01/2021 - day 1747 - with help of Sen. Sanders' office, I-751 file finally forwarded to St. Albans field office

06/28/2021 - day 1774 - I-751 status changed to 'New Card is Being Produced'; N400 status changed to 'Oath Ceremony Will Be Scheduled'

08/19/2021 - day 1826 (exactly 5 years since day 0) - Oath Ceremony (notice received on 7/19/21)

 

 

 

  • 4 weeks later...
Neonred Mentor

Neonred   4,036

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Russia
 Timeline
Posted (edited)
On 11/19/2025 at 8:18 PM, TBoneTX said:

 

Read through it to enjoy posts from old members, and maybe you'll find information for your current situation.  Others here now will almost certainly respond.

Oh wow.  I started reading that and I remembered a lot of it.  Then I saw my posts.  Didn't remember them!  Can't believe it was 14 years ago.

 

And @TBoneTX, that had some of your best work...like TWENTY TYPES OF GUYS WHOM YOU MIGHT MEET IN THE MEN'S ROOM.  LOL

 

Then I realized it was 59 pages so I gave up.

 

Yeah, my Russian wife was rather controlling when she got here, but with time I corrected that.  

 

 

Edited by Neonred

If at first you don't succeed, then sky diving is not for you.

Someone stole my dictionary. Now I am at a loss for words.

If Apple made a car, would it have windows?

Ban shredded cheese. Make America Grate Again .

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.  Deport him and you never have to feed him again.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

I went bald but I kept my comb.  I just couldn't part with it.

My name is not Richard Edward but my friends still call me DickEd

If your pet has a bladder infection, urine trouble.

"Watch out where the huskies go, and don't you eat that yellow snow."

I fired myself from cleaning the house. I didn't like my attitude and I got caught drinking on the job.

My kid has A.D.D... and a couple of F's

Carrots improve your vision.  Alcohol doubles it.

A dung beetle walks into a bar and asks " Is this stool taken?"

Breaking news.  They're not making yardsticks any longer.

Hemorrhoids?  Shouldn't they be called Assteroids?

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.

If you suck at playing the trumpet, that may be why.

Dogs can't take MRI's but Cat scan.

 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

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