Overstayed K1 visa

[appleblossom 5,655]

28 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

I get it, but who does this in year 1 of their marriage? She doesn’t even have a ssn yet. Idk who came up with these markers of a bona-fide marriage, but some of these expectations are detached from reality and definitely not keeping up with the average modern American.

 

She could have got an SSN though. Maybe some people don't do wills, but how about your life insurance, is she the beneficiary on that now? Is she on the car insurance? The Amazon account? Any Christmas/holiday cards addressed to both of you at the same address? Just trying to think of things that most people would have. 

 

But as said above, USCIS know you've only just started your lives together, so don't overthink it and just provide what you can. 

 

Good luck. 

[mam521 2,830]

28 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

I get it, but who does this in year 1 of their marriage? She doesn’t even have a ssn yet. Idk who came up with these markers of a bona-fide marriage, but some of these expectations are detached from reality and definitely not keeping up with the average modern American.

People who want their spouse not to be deported from the US do.  

 

No SSN isn't really a problem.  Apply for an ITIN because you'll need it to file income tax by April anyway.  

 

Add your spouse as a beneficiary for any pensions and/or 401k's and any life insurance policies.  

 

As for health care, your spouse cannot be denied being added.  HR usually don't realize they can use all 0's temporarily until a SSN or ITIN are provided.  

 

Don't delay filing.  This is important.  It will take some time for your case to process so will have time to assemble further supporting evidence.  

[TBoneTX 48,914]

3 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

who does this in year 1 of their marriage?

As stated above, people who want their spouse to remain undeported.

As stated here now, anyone who doesn't want to curse their deceased spouse's name, or have their own name cursed, for dying intestate.

3 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

some of these expectations are detached from reality

Outfox them at their own game, then.  Be resourceful.  Do everything you can, and more, to outsmart them and leave them flat-footed.  Make that your goal.  You'll feel in control, rather than helpless like a victim.

[Dashinka 26,444]

15 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

I get it, but who does this in year 1 of their marriage? She doesn’t even have a ssn yet. Idk who came up with these markers of a bona-fide marriage, but some of these expectations are detached from reality and definitely not keeping up with the average modern American.

As with almost everything YMMV.  Of course my memory is fading, but back in 2014/2015 my wife and I had little joint items when we completed the AOS.  In our case, she did have a SSN, so we were able to open a bank account, but we decided not to do a joint account, I did add her to my medical/dental/vision insurance since that was relatively easy, but that was about it (no joint utilities, car, etc.).  We did take the Will route during her I751 stage, but that was a few years later.  No one knows what a USCIS IO will focus on, but comingling a marriage in less than 90 days can be tough, and not everyone does it the same way depending on their station in life at the time.  The main point here when someone is at the AOS stage, and considering the current political environment is to file the AOS ASAP with the required evidence.  Comingling evidence can be gathered over time while the petition is being processed and taken to the interview.

[Crazy Cat 46,045]

16 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

I get it, but who does this in year 1 of their marriage? She doesn’t even have a ssn yet. Idk who came up with these markers of a bona-fide marriage, but some of these expectations are detached from reality and definitely not keeping up with the average modern American.

The average modern American isn't enduring the US immigration process.  The first few years of a Green Card through marriage case should be about building a case for a bona fide marriage.  That is reality....make the job of USCIS as easy as possible.  A SSN, a driver's license/state ID, joint bank accounts (finance co-mingling/use), healthcare documents, documents showing you live together at the same address, etc. are all documents normally generated in a bona fide marriage.  That is what USCIS wants to see.  It doesn't hurt to ask yourself "how can I strengthen my case" from time to time during the process.  Now, more so than ever, strong evidence is a big advantage.

 

Good luck on your journey.

Edited December 5, 2025 by Crazy Cat

[Elitevaz 28]

I understand it's in our best interest to play their game. I'm discussing the principle. They are putting us through this song and dance to try to curb fraud. That's why I say it's abnormal for newlyweds to hash all this out so fast. My wife's life was very simple and didn't involve a lot beuracracy like mine does. I've got numerous accounts. She has like 2 or 3 (gcash, bank, phone). My whole situation with my car, for example, is stable. I have no motivation to tell the bank they can come after her if the bill doesn't get paid. I'm the only one working, because she's not allowed to work, so there is nothing for the bank to take from her in the event the bill didn't get paid. The only reason I would tell the bank anything, is to make USCIS feel warm and fuzzy about my marriage.

 

For my particular case, because I made my comment in the general sense, we've already filed our AoS and have an interview next month. So there is no danger from not filing. We did it within the 90 days and we got married within the 90 days. I'm still scared they might grab her at the interview just for fun, despite the fact that we followed the k-1 program guidelines exactly.

 

The only thing reasonable I've got her added to is the phone account. We're using T-mobile, through my vet mother, my wife and other family have lines listed. The house is in my mothers name to get a va loan and I'm going to have her write a notarized letter stating she has allowed us to live there and that we pay her money to cover the mortgage each month. The utilities water and electric are also both under mom's name. Never heard of an electric bill with 2 people's name on it. Internet access for the home is covered by the HOA. Most anything I could add her to would have the provider asking for a SSN. I ticked the box on the AOS form to have them send the info to SSA, which I've recently learned had some drama with the current admin so some applications are resulting in SSN issued and others not, however that doesn't happen until AFTER the greencard is approved, which means after the interview.

 

If she gets a greencard and no ssn, we're fine. We'll just make an appointment with the SSA and use the greencard to get the SSN. We did a concurrent EAD too, but have not received approval on that yet, just biometrics completed.

 

[appleblossom 5,655]

8 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

I ticked the box on the AOS form to have them send the info to SSA, which I've recently learned had some drama with the current admin so some applications are resulting in SSN issued and others not, however that doesn't happen until AFTER the greencard is approved, which means after the interview.

 

It's too late now, but she could have gone to a SSA office and got a SSN when she first arrived.

 

I understand not wanting to add her name to the car loan, but how about adding her name to the insurance? You say you've got numerous accounts, so add her to whatever you can out of those. 

 

I don't really think it's a song and dance personally, most people do those things anyway once married. It's trickier if you're living with your mother, but as said above life insurance, healthcare, wills, pensions, are all things that normally your spouse would be on and could be used. There are lots of good suggestions above, so hopefully you can pick a few of those. 

 

Best of luck. 

Edited December 5, 2025 by appleblossom

[Elitevaz 28]

My only life insurance is through my employer, I don't have a separate policy. I can put her on the car insurance, but she has no license if they ask for that number. The government is in the way of the evidence they want. Without a time machine to get an arrival ssn, it's a paradox. Few have pensions, employers aren't offering that. 401k, not sure about it. I'm paying off debt so 401k isn't getting contributions right now. Debt eats money faster than 401k can compound it, so the roi of paying off debt is better than trying to compound a 401k. I do appreciate all your help though. This community is invaluable for guiding this nightmare process.

[appleblossom 5,655]

2 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

My only life insurance is through my employer, I don't have a separate policy. I can put her on the car insurance, but she has no license if they ask for that number. The government is in the way of the evidence they want. Without a time machine to get an arrival ssn, it's a paradox. Few have pensions, employers aren't offering that. 401k, not sure about it. I'm paying off debt so 401k isn't getting contributions right now. Debt eats money faster than 401k can compound it, so the roi of paying off debt is better than trying to compound a 401k. I do appreciate all your help though. This community is invaluable for guiding this nightmare process.

 

Life insurance through your employer is perfect, presumably she's the beneficiary of that? So that's great evidence. And your 401k, it doesn't matter if you're not putting money in it now, she's still the beneficiary. 

 

I agree you can't use a time machine now to go back and get a SSN, but hopefully anybody reading in a similar situation but at the start of their process will now know that they can get one to make things easier. As said above, your wife could get an ITIN though, but with the 401k and life insurance you should hopefully have enough evidence. 

 

Good luck, hope the interview goes well.

[TBoneTX 48,914]

3 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

My only life insurance is through my employer, I don't have a separate policy. I can put her on the car insurance, but she has no license if they ask for that number. The government is in the way of the evidence they want. Without a time machine to get an arrival ssn, it's a paradox. Few have pensions, employers aren't offering that. 401k, not sure about it. I'm paying off debt so 401k isn't getting contributions right now. Debt eats money faster than 401k can compound it, so the roi of paying off debt is better than trying to compound a 401k. I do appreciate all your help though. This community is invaluable for guiding this nightmare process.

We respect your clear thinking amidst your frustration and discouragement.

Like appleblossom says, look for and do what CAN be done.  You can even make a game of it.

 

Right now, I suggest executing medical & durable (financial) powers of attorney -- 2-way, total of 4 PoAs.

If she's too new to our culture, you can make her a contingent designee to someone who's familiar with our systems.

You can build togetherness by gently educating her as to our systems, consistently over time.

Find an inexpensive attorney, or see your state's Secretary of State website for template PoA forms (if any).

3 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

My only life insurance is through my employer, I don't have a separate policy.

Do add her to your employer's policy.

And some wise general advice:  You cannot possibly have "too much" life insurance, ever.

[TBoneTX 48,914]

3 hours ago, Elitevaz said:

I'm still scared they might grab her at the interview just for fun, despite the fact that we followed the k-1 program guidelines exactly.

At least until your interview, physically carry everything possible to justify this, and head off potential problems at the pass by sending overeager authorities to more fruitful targets.  See this thread for ideas:

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/562879-cbp-at-tsa-airport-checkpoints-why-theyre-there-how-best-to-handle/#entry7784682

Who knows if it's unnecessary overkill, but it will certainly make the both of you feel better.

[Crazy Cat 46,045]

Duplicate hijack comment removed

Edited December 7, 2025 by Crazy Cat

[MollyBob 2]

On 12/4/2025 at 4:21 PM, Elitevaz said:

I get it, but who does this in year 1 of their marriage? She doesn’t even have a ssn yet. Idk who came up with these markers of a bona-fide marriage, but some of these expectations are detached from reality and definitely not keeping up with the average modern American.

I hear you! It is so difficult and frustrating to meet these ideals with all the obstacles in the way, the biggest being a lack of SSN, means no bank account, no DL, no state ID, limiting access to so many things that would be helpful. We also delayed filing as long as possible until we had what felt like enough evidence to submit. Kinda regret that now with the current immigration environment, but didn't feel we had much other choice at the time. With how expensive it is, we wanted to feel confident that our application was sufficient first time. Knowing what I know now I've been through the process, and in the current climate, I'd say submit everything you've got and then kept uploading more stuff as and when you get it to add to your case. I thought the initial filing was a one-chance shot, it's not, they let you add more.

 

Like your wife, I couldn't be added to the car insurance because foreign licence, no SSN so no joint bank account. Our child and I were able to be added to work healthcare, but they kept kicking us off every month due to lack of SSN and we'd have to be manually readded. Nevermind, I got a copy of the insurance card while we were named as beneficiaries and submitted that. My husband owns the house, no mortgage, I'm not on the deed or the utility bills. I practically don't exist. 

 

Here's what we did submit at time of filing:

The health insurance card.

Documents re my husband's change of name to my surname.

Family phone bill showing all our names at different time points. (Your mom paying for your wife's phone line is probably a plus.)

Joint memberships for CostCo and BJs.

Community events we did together with our names published in programs.

Joint adoption of pet cat.

Travel receipts along with itineraries of the trips and who paid for what.

Receipts for payments my husband made for our dental care. 

Christmas cards naming us all from family members.

Wedding communications with our venue and pastor.

Relationship photos across time, captioned.

Chatlogs across time. 

School transcripts for our child, with husband as emergency contact.

 

Honestly, it felt like throwing spaghetti at the wall, but our petition was approved off this. When we got to the I-485 interviews, we were emailed ahead to ask us to upload any additional relationship evidence we wanted to add. Since our petition was already approved, we couldn't actually upload anything else to that and it wasn't specifically requested for our I-485s. We've been married longer than two years, so I'm not sure how much more evidence they actually would need. We weren't asked for anything else at interview, a couple of questions about our wedding and that was that. Nonetheless, I was terrified going for that interview because it was right at the time they started arresting people at interviews. We had an action plan in place just in case, thankfully all went very smoothly. We had an RFE at interview so not approved yet. Submitted the RFE and waiting now. Good luck to you both!

[Elitevaz 28]

We had the interview today. It went ok for us. Maybe we just got lucky with the officer. She wasn't doing anything extra just seemed to be going by the rules and not adding any personal scrutiny in. We came with a scrapbook of photos from the things we've been doing together, like the holidays. I had my mom sign a letter that we occupy the house together, but didn't actually show it to the officer. The officer accepted just the scrapbook. I was honest with her and told her that the lack of social security was holding me back from adding her to anything in the country. She made a joke about being lucky my wife hasn't had any health incidents. Our 2 decade age gap wasn't scrutinized at all, but I'm a fairly young looking 40's. The officer gave us a conditional green card 2 year validity. I'm relieved to have this weight released and can now focus on truly getting her settled.

[TBoneTX 48,914]

19 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

The officer gave us a conditional green card 2 year validity.

Congratulations!

19 minutes ago, Elitevaz said:

I'm relieved to have this weight released and can now focus on truly getting her settled.

A heavy weight indeed, for a long time.  Glad it's gone.