Flinging Rants To See If They'll Stick

[TBoneTX 48,020]

The Rant Thread.  Circa 2013.

Continuation thread for:   https://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/800915-let-sleeping-dogs-rant/

 

Tell us your gripes, fears, hopes.  (And we'll quickly put you down.)

Tell us your deepest, darkest desires.  (We will return you to reality)

 

All are welcome -- chew the fat here, pass the time.

 

A brief history of this thread:  Created by Steve (user name SAT), it started off as a place for VJers to rant, vent, talk.  It has evolved into an everyday friendly (and rude) conversation.

 

THE RULES of the thread, from the undersigned.

1.   We like each other here.  So don't be a jerk.
2.   No Facebook links.
3.   This thread is not for debates, not for fighting.

4.   This is a conversation.  Keep it light-hearted.
5.   If you see antagonists, just put them on ignore.
6.   If you think that your stinkiness don't stink, please stay out.
7.   Not everyone on the planet is going to agree with you, so don't push issues.
8.   Please don't push your political and religious beliefs here.
9.   If you don't like the people here, please don't post here.  VJ is full of other threads.

10.   Please don't post anything that'll link anything to your identity.  We've had problems in the ancestral threads.

11.   Have a sense of humor; don't be such a stiff.  Remember?  Humor?

 

Don't take anything personally; half of the stuff said here is just jive (in the case of Steve, it's 100% jive).

 

From SAT, the now sadly inactive OP:

This thread is politically incorrect.  Come in, come in, rant away.  Let us tell you how to suffer.  Let us make fun of you.  We're rude and crass.  Business, all business!

[TBoneTX 48,020]

HELPFUL LIST OF TERMS & ABBREVIATIONS OFTEN USED IN RANT THREADS*

 

     *check back often for additions, and suggest any that have been missed here!

 

TERMS

 

Aysheep = hysterical, histrionic, flying off the handle.  For example, "She went aysheep when she saw the dirt on the floor, si man."

 

P-Math = elegant and flexible numerical system, maintained in honor of our threads' resident Polish Commie-babe, Asia:  the only numerals allowed are 0, 1, 2, and Many.  For example, 2+2+1 = Many, as is 2x2x2x2x2 + 2, Many00, Manyzen, and infinite other elegant combinations.  The use of P-Math is mandatory but often overlooked. 

 

Photos (Fotos) or it didn't happen = challenge to all claims made in Rant threads.

 

Miu = cat

 

Nooser, Noosering = nurse, nursing

 

Rojo = male redhead; any potential or actual male; specifically, Ex-Mrs.-T-B.'s ex-fiancé

Roja = female redhead

 

Din-din = dinner; supper.

Onecan = one can of something ingested for lunch, snack, or din-din

Toucans = 2 cans

 

Rubias = female blondes.  For example, "T-Bone will party again tonight with his real or imaginary harem of Many (2+2+2) rubias."

 

Oj tak = "Si, man" in Polish, si man

Oj nie = "No, man" in Polish, si man

 

Steveklar = Steve or SAT, now-inactive founder of the Rant threads

Ontarklar, D ma'am = Ontarkie

Hillbilly = husband of Ontarklar

Bro G = Neonred

Eh ma'am = cdneh

PRG = Pretty Russian Girl, wife of Dave of DaveAndAnastasia (DA man)

QA ma'am = mrmvkjts, Queen of Austria (now Queen of America after naturalization)

T-B. = T-Bone, si man

Mini-B. = T-B.'s son, wee man

 

Fotos = Spanish spelling of photos, which makes more sense than the English spelling

Tyres = the round rubber things encasing car wheel, & the only permissible British spelling

 

 

ABBREVIATIONS

 

LPoP = "Last post on page," the reminder that the last post on a Rant-thread page is to be ignored and go unread, no see man

 

ES = estate sale, si man

GS = garage sale, si man

MS = moving-sale, si man

 

NIP = new in package (describing items procured at an ES or GS), si man

NWT = new with tags (describing items procured at an ES or GS), si man

 

POTS = Pre-Owned Toilet Seat*, the must-have item that has earned T-Bone $Many,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and established him as the consummate Business Typhoon, $i man

     *buy yours today, si man

 

F$WM = Financially $avvy We Man, T-B.'s self-compliment for being fiscally prudent/cheap

WCG = World's Cheapest Gringo, friend of T-B. who's even cheaper than T-B., si man

 

Ecu = Ecuador, si man

 

AFV = America's Funniest Videos, si man

 

FST = favorite small town, si man

 

HSM = Heap Strong Medicine (mega-powerful medicine), si man

 

JC = junior chica (with whom T-B. would go out), she man

 

LL = laundry load, si man

 

WUOC = with use of coupon (indicating financial savvy), $i man

 

BK = Burger King, si man

S+Ms = canned spaghetti rings & meatballs, often ingested for din-din man

Chef B. = Chef Boy-ar-Dee, si man

R'br = root beer, one of the major food/drink groups man

'roni 'za = pepperoni pizza, si man

Edited Wednesday at 12:56 AM by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 48,020]

All ongoing Rants, issues, unfinished conversations, and personal insults from the previous Rant thread should be carried over into this here new Rant thread, si man.

[TBoneTX 48,020]

Thrilling Tuesday report, see man:

 

Breakfasted/skoolbused Mini-B., groggy Two Guys man.

Found BK coupons in weekly rainwater newspapers, collect from neighbors who ignore theirs man.

Thereafter, took siesta #1, blessed zzz for we man man.

 

Gathered Mama T-B.'s gold/silver jewelry and went to a buyer, good guy he man man.

The necklaces were quite tangled, challenge to undo man.

Some of the stuff was magnetic, costume wear only man.

Some was sterling silver, $ man.

Some was gold-filled, $$ man.

Some was Many-karat gold, $$$ man.

Guy totaled it to $Many00 and said, "Let's round it up to $Many,000, si man," $i man.

We were pleasantly surprised, $i man.

Guess we timed it right with gold at a record high, $i man.

 

Lunch was at BK*, ingest we man.

     *WUOC, F$WM

Thereafter, we took siesta #2, blessed zzz for we man man.

 

Took Mama T-B.'s proceeds to bank, deposit we man for senior she man man.

Retrieved an Rx for Uncle T-B., retrieve we man.

Delivered it to Uncle T-B., pleased senior he man man.

 

Finally got Mama T-B.'s high-yield savings account established, Many-week process man.  

 

Din-din was "Teriyaki Stir-Fry Udon**," ingest Two Guys man.

     **bought recently on sale at Costco, F$WM

We managed to use single-serving instructions to cook entire package, culinary we man.

It won't be a regular din-din but was quite acceptable, conclude Two Guys man.

 

Got back on VJ after Many days off, computer glitch man.   

 

Gave ex-Mrs.-T-B. a simple sewing job for Mama T-B., accommodating ex-she man man.

Retrieved same, retrieve we man.

 

No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man.

Must visit Mama T-B. on Wednesday, visit we man senior she man man.

Probably should take leftover metal-jewelry stuff to scrapyard, will have to at some point man.

And that was/is our thrilling Tuesday, report we man.

[Neonred 3,944]

OK, let me start by flinging some poo (never tried that before).

 

Who came up with this ridiculous thread title?   Some poo flinging monkey?  

 

Report them.

 

 💩🤣

 

 

Edited Wednesday at 10:35 AM by Neonred

[yuna628 9,913]

Our 10th wedding anniversary coming up so we're off for our annual vacation. Supposedly the husband has plotted something special, so we'll see what that's about.

 

Been absolutely exhausted these past two weeks. Between my dad always not listening to doctor instructions, my mom's crown falling out (my dentist bless him had to do emergency surgery) and also not listening to the dentist instructions, my sister's 5th COVID infection (but we are all thankfully still negative), cleaning everything, packing suitcases, and finally getting up the courage to pack the dog's things away... it's been a lot. We've had a few potential dog prospects come up, but they've been snapped up quickly. And while they are cute... I'm tearfully reminded that it's still not quite the right time, and none of them feel like the one. I mean who am I kidding? I'd adopt every single last one of them if I could... but that's not practical.

[Ban Hammer 14,537]

14 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

 

THE RULES of the thread, from the undersigned.

8.   Please don't push your political and religious beliefs here.

does believing simians are superior to humans fall under the above?

[mam521 2,665]

Awe...I just found out that my Grandma has a boyfriend lol! 

[Ban Hammer 14,537]

1 hour ago, mam521 said:

Awe...I just found out that my Grandma has a boyfriend lol! 

just for fun, you should give her some dating advice.........

[Neonred 3,944]

Back down in the Keys again.  Came down today with a new monster boat in tow.  Got a whopping 9 miles per gallon on the trip here.  

 

Didn't think I would ever get another boat and my wife had told me on several occasions to not even think about it because it would never happen.   She insisted a new kitchen was her first priority.  Several times each year we have 2 or 3 other couples come down with us and because some of our friends are "large" it's a problem taking everyone out at the same time.  This past July 4th we were with our friends hanging out at the local sandbar when my wife spotted the perfect boat.  She told me we should get one! (Sometimes I don't even know who this woman is) She said she was willing to give up her kitchen and admitted she really didn't like spending time in the kitchen cooking anyway.

 

I researched this purchase until my head was ready to explode and finally found the right deal.  Figured I'd better seal the deal before my wife changed her mind... strike while the iron is hot.  I did agree to name the boat in her honor.  I just hope I have some money left for gas.

 

 

 

 

Edited yesterday at 02:10 AM by Neonred

[Ban Hammer 14,537]

36 minutes ago, Neonred said:

Back down in the Keys again.  Came down today with a new monster boat in tow.  Got a whopping 9 miles per gallon on the trip here.  

 

Didn't think I would ever get another boat and my wife had told me on several occasions to not even think about it because it would never happen.   She insisted a new kitchen was her first priority.  Several times each year we have 2 or 3 other couples come down with us and because some of our friends are "large" it's a problem taking everyone out at the same time.  This past July 4th we were with our friends hanging out at the local sandbar when my wife spotted the perfect boat.  She told me we should get one! (Sometimes I don't even know who this woman is) She said she was willing to give up her kitchen and admitted she really didn't like spending time in the kitchen cooking anyway.

 

I researched this purchase until my head was ready to explode and finally found the right deal.  Figured I'd better seal the deal before my wife changed her mind... strike while the iron is hot.  I did agree to name the boat in her honor.  I just hope I have some money left for gas.

 

so it's called "kitchen upgrade" then?

[TBoneTX 48,020]

16 hours ago, Neonred said:

Who came up with this ridiculous thread title?   Some poo flinging monkey? 

Read previous thread, you mere human with no Simian Gap man.

11 hours ago, Ban Hammer said:

does believing simians are superior to humans fall under the above?

This is fact, not mere belief, si and no man.

[TBoneTX 48,020]

54 minutes ago, Neonred said:

Got a whopping Many miles per gallon [...] we have 2 or Many other couples come down with us [...] This past July Many'th [...]

You, Bro G, are a horrible example -- a P-Math-failure (or -denier!) -- for neophytes in this thread, si and  man!

54 minutes ago, Neonred said:

I don't even know who this woman is

She's a rubia, si and see and  man!

54 minutes ago, Neonred said:

she really didn't like spending time in the kitchen cooking anyway

This dovetails into the punchline of a joke that must be sadly anonymized, see mostly man:

 -- What's a ______-American Princess' dream home, huh man?

 -- It has no kitchen and no bedroom, si and sigh man.

54 minutes ago, Neonred said:

I did agree to name the boat in her honor.

You named it The Rubia, good choice man!   

54 minutes ago, Neonred said:

I just hope I have some money left for gas.

Had you gotten in on the ground floor of the POTS* business, you wouldn't be crying about this now, si and no man!

     *buy yours today**, si man!

     **including for the boat, sea man

Edited yesterday at 03:03 AM by TBoneTX

[TBoneTX 48,020]

12 hours ago, yuna628 said:

Our Many'th wedding anniversary coming up

Congratulations on your Many-year marriage, si and whee Y ma'am!

12 hours ago, yuna628 said:

my mom's crown falling out (my dentist bless him had to do emergency surgery) and also not listening to the dentist instructions

[Bro G's ears perk up, see man]

12 hours ago, yuna628 said:

my sister's Many'th COVID infection

We are sorry that she has been infected Many times with COVID-Many, si and sigh ma'am.

12 hours ago, yuna628 said:

finally getting up the courage to pack the dog's things away

This is the hard part, si and sigh Y ma'am.  We forced ourself to do this within an hour of euthanizing Miu T-B. #2, si and sigh man.

12 hours ago, yuna628 said:

it's still not quite the right time

You need to grieve, si Y ma'am.  We took Many (2+2+2) weeks after losing Miu #2 to look for Miu #Many, si man, and only then because it was our birthday and Mini-B. came along, si man.

[TBoneTX 48,020]

Thrilling Wednesday report, see man:

 

Breakfasted/skoolbused Mini-B., ultra-groggy Two Guys man.

Returned to bed for unsuccessful siesta #1,  we man.

 

Took Mama T-B.'s leftover metallic items to scrap shop, hopeful we man.

They wouldn't take lead-free pewter,      man!

They gave us less than $2 for some brass stuff,  man.

At least we got rid of it, small consolation man.

 

Spent nearly Many hours with Mama T-B., visit we man senior she man man.

We were tired enough not to engage in yelling, leave that to senior she man we man man.

One agenda item was to fill out her vaccination-request sheet, given to every resident man.

Mama T-B. wants flu & COVID-Many shots, si man.

We said, "You keep saying you want to die, but you're getting these shots, si and huh man?!", si man.

She said, "Well, we don't want to die THAT way, no man,"   and   man.

 

Breakfast/lunch/din-din (at Many [2+2] p.m.) was Subway*, ingest we man.

     *bought WUOC + gift card, F$WM

A halfway-decent siesta #2 followed, somewhat zzz we man.

 

Mini-B. returned early enough from non-Two Guys activity to have a movie night, see man.

We saw 2 Better Call Saul episodes, watch Two Guys man.

Many (2+2) bowls of Costco popcorn were consumed, ingest Two Guys man.

This tallies to Many (2+2+2) for the week, on track to achieve quota man.

 

No party with the rubias tonight, no cavort we man.

Must compile initial GS/ES list Thursday, mandatory activity we man.

And that was/is our thrilling Wednesday, report we man.