Urgent Question

[ArjenRobben 2]

Hello!

 

I saw your posts that you had your I-751 denied because of your narcissistic and vindictive ex and wanted to ask something.

 

First of all, I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. I understand how terrible it is as I’m in a similar situation.

 

I met my ex in my home country where I was born and raised. We dated for three years and planned on traveling the world or moving to Europe for grad schools. But then his mom convinced him to come back. I came to the US to visit him and his family on a tourist visa, he then proposed and I stayed. His brother is an immigration attorney and handled my case for my conditional GC.

 

My ex was unemployed most of the time we were married (had a part time job that barely covered anything), abused me verbally, sexually, and physically. We went to therapy, but ended up fighting even more.

 

I still wanted to make it work. I loved him deeply because he was my first boyfriend and the first man I was intimate with. Anyway, one day we got into an argument and he attacked me. Physically assaulted me and broke my finger. I pressed charges. It took a few months, but he was found guilty after I testified at court. He appealed, I had to keep coming back to the DAs /court. Case was continued three times. Finally, we had a date. I was 15 mins late and the court dismissed the case bc “Witness failed to appear”. I tried reopening it. Assistant to DA was the worst and didn’t want to do his own job.
 

Divorce took forever too. But it was finally done and I filed the RFE with divorce decree on time.

 

My question is.... given the fact that his brother is an immigration attorney and my ex and his family hate me now because I pressed charges, can they report me and make up lies about me that I married my ex for immigration? I do feel like his family is vindictive and capable of doing something awful like that. I have a lot of evidence supporting that the marriage was bona fide. I loved him and really cared for him and wanted to make it work, but when he attacked me and broke my finger and physically assaulted me, I realized I can’t do that to myself anymore. Also, one time he raped me while I was crying and begging him not to kick me out.

 

Any advice is much appreciated! My interview is the day after tomorrow!

Thank you!!!

@mindthegap I would appreciate your advice. I couldn’t message you directly.

[PaulaCJohnny 713]

1 hour ago, ArjenRobben said:

Hello!

 

I saw your posts that you had your I-751 denied because of your narcissistic and vindictive ex and wanted to ask something.

 

First of all, I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. I understand how terrible it is as I’m in a similar situation.

 

I met my ex in my home country where I was born and raised. We dated for three years and planned on traveling the world or moving to Europe for grad schools. But then his mom convinced him to come back. I came to the US to visit him and his family on a tourist visa, he then proposed and I stayed. His brother is an immigration attorney and handled my case for my conditional GC.

 

My ex was unemployed most of the time we were married (had a part time job that barely covered anything), abused me verbally, sexually, and physically. We went to therapy, but ended up fighting even more.

 

I still wanted to make it work. I loved him deeply because he was my first boyfriend and the first man I was intimate with. Anyway, one day we got into an argument and he attacked me. Physically assaulted me and broke my finger. I pressed charges. It took a few months, but he was found guilty after I testified at court. He appealed, I had to keep coming back to the DAs /court. Case was continued three times. Finally, we had a date. I was 15 mins late and the court dismissed the case bc “Witness failed to appear”. I tried reopening it. Assistant to DA was the worst and didn’t want to do his own job.
 

Divorce took forever too. But it was finally done and I filed the RFE with divorce decree on time.

 

My question is.... given the fact that his brother is an immigration attorney and my ex and his family hate me now because I pressed charges, can they report me and make up lies about me that I married my ex for immigration? I do feel like his family is vindictive and capable of doing something awful like that. I have a lot of evidence supporting that the marriage was bona fide. I loved him and really cared for him and wanted to make it work, but when he attacked me and broke my finger and physically assaulted me, I realized I can’t do that to myself anymore. Also, one time he raped me while I was crying and begging him not to kick me out.

 

Any advice is much appreciated! My interview is the day after tomorrow!

Thank you!!!

@mindthegap I would appreciate your advice. I couldn’t message you directly.

I'm not @mindthegap but I will tell you that they can be all crazy they want but to put you in problems they will need proofs, real ones.

If you had a real relationship and was abused,  which proves they have against you?

Are you far from this people? In a safe place?

I hope you have a great interview and continue with your life away from this guy and his family. 

 

Good luck 

[ArjenRobben 2]

8 hours ago, Paula&Johnny said:

I'm not @mindthegap but I will tell you that they can be all crazy they want but to put you in problems they will need proofs, real ones.

If you had a real relationship and was abused,  which proves they have against you?

Are you far from this people? In a safe place?

I hope you have a great interview and continue with your life away from this guy and his family. 

 

Good luck 

Thank you so much! Yes, I’m safe and happy. I have nothing to hide as I have done nothing wrong. Just wanted to make sure I’m aware of all possible scenarios. From what I understand, @mindthegap’s ex-spouse was still able to cause problems even though there was no fraud and she filed for a divorce waiver. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by ArjenRobben

[mindthegap 2,590]

Would have preferred a DM....but...

 

Yes, I discovered my ex spouse made an allegation to USCIS after joint filing, after we separated but before we divorced. 

That allegation was the sole basis for denial of the first I-751.

The allegation was categorically not true, and prove-ably so, but I was not told about it, nor given an opportunity to refute it (directly contradicting USCIS policy to do so).

 

USCIS really do not care - you are just a barcode to them, and they are accountable to no-one.

 

 

 

Also, please first and foremost protect yourself. 

 

[ArjenRobben 2]

40 minutes ago, mindthegap said:

Would have preferred a DM....but...

 

Yes, I discovered my ex spouse made an allegation to USCIS after joint filing, after we separated but before we divorced. 

That allegation was the sole basis for denial of the first I-751.

The allegation was categorically not true, and prove-ably so, but I was not told about it, nor given an opportunity to refute it (directly contradicting USCIS policy to do so).

 

USCIS really do not care - you are just a barcode to them, and they are accountable to no-one.

 

 

 

Also, please first and foremost protect yourself. 

 

Hi, @mindthegap!

 

I was trying to send you a direct message several times last night but kept getting an error “user is not accepting messages.” Not sure if it was a system glitch or I hit a firewall because I’m a new user with limited functions (as I created my account yesterday just to DM you.)

 

Anyway, what could he possibly say to the USCIS about you? That you didn’t love him? Why didn’t they let you present your evidence? Did anyone explain that once you refiled?

 

Thank you so much, I’m safe now and will never let anything like that happen to me again. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by ArjenRobben

[Timona 4,207]

USCIS is aware of vindictive exes. You will not be the first nor last. Go to your interview with a bright smile and with calm nerves. A lot of people have been approved with divorce waivers. As a rule, DO NOT offer more than what is asked. Answer directly and keep it short. You do not wnat to offfer to much to the point where more follow- up questions are raised from your answers.....basically, do not entangle yourself. 

 

 

And relax. 

[ArjenRobben 2]

6 minutes ago, Timona said:

USCIS is aware of vindictive exes. You will not be the first nor last. Go to your interview with a bright smile and with calm nerves. A lot of people have been approved with divorce waivers. As a rule, DO NOT offer more than what is asked. Answer directly and keep it short. You do not wnat to offfer to much to the point where more follow- up questions are raised from your answers.....basically, do not entangle yourself. 

 

 

And relax. 

Thank you!

[Timona 4,207]

Say Hi to Arjen Robben for me, If you ever meet him 😏

[ArjenRobben 2]

2 hours ago, Timona said:

Say Hi to Arjen Robben for me, If you ever meet him 😏

Haha I wish. I’m a huge fan of Robben (and soccer in general). Didn’t want to use my real name here and it’s the best display name I could come up with.
 

Thank you again for the advice! I’ll do my best to stay calm tomorrow and keep my answers short.

[Babu Frik 1,162]

that person is probably getting notifications every time someone quotes their handle

[ArjenRobben 2]

1 minute ago, Babu Frik said:

that person is probably getting notifications every time someone quotes their handle

What do you mean?

[Babu Frik 1,162]

4 minutes ago, ArjenRobben said:

What do you mean?

everywhere their name shows as blue, they're getting notifications unless they turned it off, just an fyi when people are quoting messages

[bakphx1 789]

If he is an attorney, if he were to file anything false, make an untrue statement or harass you through abuse of process he’d risk everything, including jail time.  I would be filing a State Bar complaint the second he did any of that.  It would lik bad for him as well to submit anything against a green card he helped get approved.

[ArjenRobben 2]

43 minutes ago, bakphx1 said:

If he is an attorney, if he were to file anything false, make an untrue statement or harass you through abuse of process he’d risk everything, including jail time.  I would be filing a State Bar complaint the second he did any of that.  It would lik bad for him as well to submit anything against a green card he helped get approved.

I agree. Thank you for the advice!

[Ontarkie 14,275]

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