Advice for Sponsor of Abusive Wife Denied AOS

[laylalex 7,247]

12 hours ago, SanDiegoParakram said:

Ha! I hope you see the irony in advising divorce and move on, then revealing your still dealing with it 20 years later. But, I hear you, will do my best, but realistically, am still seeking information as to what I can expect. Thanks. 

It is possible to divorce and move on, even in difficult divorces. You don't even need the nastiest attorney to help -- what you need is a tough, persistent, competent one who represents your interests properly. My best friend is a family law attorney, and she can be a pit bull if her client wants her to be, but she tells me she prefers to strike a tone of steady, reasonable professionalism. It looks better to a judge, she says, when one side is playing by the rules while still sticking to their guns and fighting for their client's interests. It can get very personal, very fast, and a good attorney will help keep you focused on (1) getting out of the marriage and (2) helping you protect your interests. Fighting for fighting's sake just deepens the pain -- there should be a point to the battles. You're paying your attorney to take the brunt of the fighting for you -- let him or her be there to absorb the punches. Also don't forget -- more fighting over pointless things means more money to the lawyer. Try to keep your eyes on the prize and don't get bogged down in retribution or you'll end up with little to show except pain. 

 

I would just like to say that earlier I missed the part of your post where you said that you were going to be fighting a restraining order, and I apologize for missing that -- of course at that point you can't just divorce and move on until it's resolved. But from my own experience quite a while ago (but also in California for what it's worth -- it seems you are in CA too?) in trying to get a temporary restraining order made permanent, she needs more evidence than just "he scares me" -- which is what it sounds like your wife has only. You say all the texts and everything show she's not afraid of you, and there's not much to show that you need to be kept away from her. You should absolutely get an attorney to help you with fighting the TRO being made permanent -- I'm just a rando on the internet after all! -- but this is in your favor. Trust me, I had real reason to fear the person (not my ex-husband) I was trying to get a permanent restraining order against but in the end there wasn't enough to show much more than he was a guy who had been dumped and wanted to know why he'd been dumped. (Like many manipulators, he was very, very careful about what he put in writing.)

 

So all of this is to say you are in a stronger position than she is, I think, for many reasons -- the short marriage, the lack of proof that she's afraid of you, and you sticking to your guns. You can get through this! Hire an attorney you feel comfortable working with and stay strong.  

[SanDiegoParakram 1]

Thank you @laylalex .This approach to lawyering up sounds more reasonable. I do think I have a strong case.

[Unknown4 10]

On 3/21/2020 at 9:43 PM, Villanelle said:

When you say you have the statement from the order of protection and there is little in it- are you referring to the paperwork you got when they gave you notice that a temp order was given? If so that is NOT what I am talking about. I am referring to documents you can only get from the court clerk. They will not give them you unless you ask and if you dont ask you will never just be given them.  You are entitled to a copy of both the 'application' and the 'affidavit' she filled out when she applied for it. Im not sure what state you are in- some states have DV protection orders and also have harassment protection orders. Depending on the state and the type of order she applied for the paperwork will vary but generally speaking they all require her to give an affidavit or declaration of some sort and to provide specific details about an incident.  It can be brief but it must be specific.  

 

Also it is possible for a former spouse to be charged under DV. I can see by how I wrote it why it came across that way. I just meant once you are divorced and are living separate lives as 2 different people she would not (realistically) be able to fake an injury and claim you caused it. Married but separated with divorce pending is a relationship. Im not sure if that makes more sense though...

Good say ma or sir, I was also refused a visa too after three months in administrative processing, they went to verify my divorce decree at court the counterfeit divorcee stated it issue out, which they found it counterfeit, and I summited counterfeit divorce decree bec I was never married previously the travel agent was the one that lier that I am married to be a strong ties for me get b1b2 visa year 2016,which the lier back fire on me when I went for immigrant interview recently 2019 k1,,I need your strong advice ,hopefully to hear from you back

[Boiler 43,433]

1 hour ago, Unknown4 said:

Good say ma or sir, I was also refused a visa too after three months in administrative processing, they went to verify my divorce decree at court the counterfeit divorcee stated it issue out, which they found it counterfeit, and I summited counterfeit divorce decree bec I was never married previously the travel agent was the one that lier that I am married to be a strong ties for me get b1b2 visa year 2016,which the lier back fire on me when I went for immigrant interview recently 2019 k1,,I need your strong advice ,hopefully to hear from you back

Well providing fake documentation is a very serious issue and may well lead them to question other documents supplied. Obviously you need legitimate documents, my first thought is that this is well beyond a DIY situation and you need competent legal guidance.