Could this hinder us?

[SunnyFireflies 6]

Hello everyone I'm still doing research and trying to learn the process. So when I'm ready to file it goes smoothly. I'm not sure when that will be since my boyfriend is still in school for one more year. He starts his last year in the fall.

 

My question is my boyfriend and I met on a kink website. I know I can't be dishonest. I have to tell them where we met. So will that hinder us?

 

I also noticed I don't call him by his name. And our text are way different than what people usually text their lovers. I don't want to get too personal or trigger anyone on what the nicknames are or what our lifestyle is. 

 

I have read that text are not a requirement but still. I'm wondering will they think we are very strange and deny us for our personal lifestyles?

 

I know I am a weird person and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I really don't want my personal life effecting my boyfriend moving here. I'm hoping they can look past the weirdness and see our relationship is genuine. If I thought about it 4 years ago I would have been more carful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize if this question was common sense or just silly. I wish everyone luck in whatever process they are doing.

[payxibka 10,044]

7 minutes ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Hello everyone I'm still doing research and trying to learn the process. So when I'm ready to file it goes smoothly. I'm not sure when that will be since my boyfriend is still in school for one more year. He starts his last year in the fall.

 

My question is my boyfriend and I met on a kink website. I know I can't be dishonest. I have to tell them where we met. So will that hinder us?

 

I also noticed I don't call him by his name. And our text are way different than what people usually text their lovers. I don't want to get too personal or trigger anyone on what the nicknames are or what our lifestyle is. 

 

I have read that text are not a requirement but still. I'm wondering will they think we are very strange and deny us for our personal lifestyles?

 

I know I am a weird person and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I really don't want my personal life effecting my boyfriend moving here. I'm hoping they can look past the weirdness and see our relationship is genuine. If I thought about it 4 years ago I would have been more carful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize if this question was common sense or just silly. I wish everyone luck in whatever process they are doing.

They only care if the site is an international marriage broker or not.   And then they really don't care if it is an IMB as long as you have complied with the additional evidence requirement 

[SunnyFireflies 6]

1 minute ago, payxibka said:

They only care if the site is an international marriage broker or not.   And then they really don't care if it is an IMB as long as you have complied with the additional evidence requirement 

 

Thank you so much for taking the time to answer this

 

[Fe.Ta 857]

9 minutes ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Hello everyone I'm still doing research and trying to learn the process. So when I'm ready to file it goes smoothly. I'm not sure when that will be since my boyfriend is still in school for one more year. He starts his last year in the fall.

 

My question is my boyfriend and I met on a kink website. I know I can't be dishonest. I have to tell them where we met. So will that hinder us?

 

I also noticed I don't call him by his name. And our text are way different than what people usually text their lovers. I don't want to get too personal or trigger anyone on what the nicknames are or what our lifestyle is. 

 

I have read that text are not a requirement but still. I'm wondering will they think we are very strange and deny us for our personal lifestyles?

 

I know I am a weird person and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I really don't want my personal life effecting my boyfriend moving here. I'm hoping they can look past the weirdness and see our relationship is genuine. If I thought about it 4 years ago I would have been more carful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize if this question was common sense or just silly. I wish everyone luck in whatever process they are doing.

I don't think the "where" (a.k.a. kink site) would matter as long as you focus on how the relationship developed and that is genuine.  For proof, you can do other things such as time spent together (photos, dinner tickets, travel tickets, etc.).  If you have social media, maybe posts that are on there would help as well.  From what I know and have experienced, they just want to know that it wasn't a marriage broker (if there was, some additional documentation would be needed), that there is reasonable time that the relationship is in existence, time spent together (face to face), and its validity.  You don't need to put your entire intimacy on display.  Know your case and figure out how you can prove validity.

[SunnyFireflies 6]

8 minutes ago, Fe.Ta said:

I don't think the "where" (a.k.a. kink site) would matter as long as you focus on how the relationship developed and that is genuine.  For proof, you can do other things such as time spent together (photos, dinner tickets, travel tickets, etc.).  If you have social media, maybe posts that are on there would help as well.  From what I know and have experienced, they just want to know that it wasn't a marriage broker (if there was, some additional documentation would be needed), that there is reasonable time that the relationship is in existence, time spent together (face to face), and its validity.  You don't need to put your entire intimacy on display.  Know your case and figure out how you can prove validity.

Thank you so much for the advice! It is appreciated

[Fe.Ta 857]

3 minutes ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Thank you so much for the advice! It is appreciated

Sure thing!  We are not dealing with the same embassy (England versus Argentina).  But, I am in the process of AOS already, so if I can help with anything, feel free to message.  I am sure you can also follow the monthly threads depending on when you first file the K1.

[Hawksquill 151]

I'm not sure if they've changed the "how you met" question, but I didn't ever actually tell them the specific website where we met.  The focus is more proving that you've met in person and have a legitimate relationship, not the specific circumstances of how/where you met.  My answer to question 34a (when I applied back in 2016) was this:

 

"We first met online in April 2013 and met in City in November 2013. After meeting for the first time in November 2013, Husband came to visit me in the USA in June 2014.  I went to the UK in October 2014 and December 2014, where I spent Christmas with his family in City.  Husband came to the US for my college graduation in May 2015.  I obtained a tier 4 student visa to study at the University of City and moved to the UK in September 2015.  Husband and I saw each other most weekends from September 2015 to July 2016 and also spent time with his family in City during this time.  We went to the US to spend Christmas with my family in December 2015." 

 

The focus should be on showing your relationship began legitimately and has grown and strengthened through time spent together in person (plane tickets, passport stamps, photos of you in identifiable places or with family) and not just on how you met.  If you don't think adding chat logs would strengthen your case because of the nature of your relationship, don't include them.  I'd also say that they have to be on the lookout for potential domestic violence, so if the kink at all implies that that would be a concern, do not include them.

 

Or if possible, could you find portions that aren't related to the kink lifestyle (making dinner or travel plans, talking about time spent together, etc.)  Chat logs are pretty much universally accepted as among the weakest form of evidence for K1, because they're incredibly easy to fake. You won't be penalized for not including them unless your other evidence is seriously, seriously lacking.

 

We were also never asked which website we met on during any of our interviews.  The focus is really on if the relationship is legitimate, which is mostly proved by face-time and not how you met. 

[Falcon Cara 378]

35 minutes ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Hello everyone I'm still doing research and trying to learn the process. So when I'm ready to file it goes smoothly. I'm not sure when that will be since my boyfriend is still in school for one more year. He starts his last year in the fall.

 

My question is my boyfriend and I met on a kink website. I know I can't be dishonest. I have to tell them where we met. So will that hinder us?

 

I also noticed I don't call him by his name. And our text are way different than what people usually text their lovers. I don't want to get too personal or trigger anyone on what the nicknames are or what our lifestyle is. 

 

I have read that text are not a requirement but still. I'm wondering will they think we are very strange and deny us for our personal lifestyles?

 

I know I am a weird person and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I really don't want my personal life effecting my boyfriend moving here. I'm hoping they can look past the weirdness and see our relationship is genuine. If I thought about it 4 years ago I would have been more carful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize if this question was common sense or just silly. I wish everyone luck in whatever process they are doing.

Last time I looked and it seems to change every few years:  The I-129f ask you to describe how you met in person, not how you met. 

[SunnyFireflies 6]

53 minutes ago, Fe.Ta said:

Sure thing!  We are not dealing with the same embassy (England versus Argentina).  But, I am in the process of AOS already, so if I can help with anything, feel free to message.  I am sure you can also follow the monthly threads depending on when you first file the K1.

Again thank you so much! I was so worried about this haha. And sorry but where is the monthly thread? I'm so new to this.

 

Oh and goodluck with the AOS

[Ethan & Shannon 385]

1 hour ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Hello everyone I'm still doing research and trying to learn the process. So when I'm ready to file it goes smoothly. I'm not sure when that will be since my boyfriend is still in school for one more year. He starts his last year in the fall.

 

My question is my boyfriend and I met on a kink website. I know I can't be dishonest. I have to tell them where we met. So will that hinder us?

 

I also noticed I don't call him by his name. And our text are way different than what people usually text their lovers. I don't want to get too personal or trigger anyone on what the nicknames are or what our lifestyle is. 

 

I have read that text are not a requirement but still. I'm wondering will they think we are very strange and deny us for our personal lifestyles?

 

I know I am a weird person and I'm perfectly okay with that. But I really don't want my personal life effecting my boyfriend moving here. I'm hoping they can look past the weirdness and see our relationship is genuine. If I thought about it 4 years ago I would have been more carful.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I apologize if this question was common sense or just silly. I wish everyone luck in whatever process they are doing.

You never need to submit any screenshots of messages. They don't need to know the ins and outs of your lifestyle, just that you're a genuine couple.

[SunnyFireflies 6]

59 minutes ago, Hawksquill said:

I'm not sure if they've changed the "how you met" question, but I didn't ever actually tell them the specific website where we met.  The focus is more proving that you've met in person and have a legitimate relationship, not the specific circumstances of how/where you met.  My answer to question 34a (when I applied back in 2016) was this:

 

"We first met online in April 2013 and met in City in November 2013. After meeting for the first time in November 2013, Husband came to visit me in the USA in June 2014.  I went to the UK in October 2014 and December 2014, where I spent Christmas with his family in City.  Husband came to the US for my college graduation in May 2015.  I obtained a tier 4 student visa to study at the University of City and moved to the UK in September 2015.  Husband and I saw each other most weekends from September 2015 to July 2016 and also spent time with his family in City during this time.  We went to the US to spend Christmas with my family in December 2015." 

 

The focus should be on showing your relationship began legitimately and has grown and strengthened through time spent together in person (plane tickets, passport stamps, photos of you in identifiable places or with family) and not just on how you met.  If you don't think adding chat logs would strengthen your case because of the nature of your relationship, don't include them.  I'd also say that they have to be on the lookout for potential domestic violence, so if the kink at all implies that that would be a concern, do not include them.

 

Or if possible, could you find portions that aren't related to the kink lifestyle (making dinner or travel plans, talking about time spent together, etc.)  Chat logs are pretty much universally accepted as among the weakest form of evidence for K1, because they're incredibly easy to fake. You won't be penalized for not including them unless your other evidence is seriously, seriously lacking.

 

We were also never asked which website we met on during any of our interviews.  The focus is really on if the relationship is legitimate, which is mostly proved by face-time and not how you met. 

Typically people outside of the community view that lifestyle as  a domestic violence situation. But it's really not. That's just a big misocncetipion. I'm saying that in general. I actually didn't think about if they would think domestic violence. Wow thanks for the heads up. And thank you for your input it is appreciated

[Fe.Ta 857]

9 minutes ago, SunnyFireflies said:

Again thank you so much! I was so worried about this haha. And sorry but where is the monthly thread? I'm so new to this.

 

Oh and goodluck with the AOS

Fill in your timeline.  When are you planning on sending the K1 application?  Once you know the month, you can search VJ for [month] K1 and it will show this year's and that month for you to follow the thread.  These will be VJ members going through the same stages (around the same time) as you.

[SunnyFireflies 6]

5 minutes ago, Ethan & Shannon said:

You never need to submit any screenshots of messages. They don't need to know the ins and outs of your lifestyle, just that you're a genuine couple.

I have heard that but I have seen a lot of people submitting texts so I just thought I'd see what others think.

 

And to be clear I wasn't going to give gorey detials to them or anything. My text messges are just far from normal text. It's not inappropriate or anyting. Thank you so much for your input I appreciate it

[Ethan & Shannon 385]

1 minute ago, SunnyFireflies said:

I have heard that but I have seen a lot of people submitting texts so I just thought I'd see what others think.

 

And to be clear I wasn't going to give gorey detials to them or anything. My text messges are just far from normal text. It's not inappropriate or anyting. Thank you so much for your input I appreciate it

No worries, you're going to be fine .

[SunnyFireflies 6]

3 minutes ago, Fe.Ta said:

Fill in your timeline.  When are you planning on sending the K1 application?  Once you know the month, you can search VJ for [month] K1 and it will show this year's and that month for you to follow the thread.  These will be VJ members going through the same stages (around the same time) as you.

I'm not to sure my boyfriend starts in late September. I was brainstorming and came up with the idea to file in February 2020 or March? Because when I visit him in October next year I want him to come back with me. So I have to wait and see. When I know I'll definitely do that. Thanks for the other info you gave me