Best divorce strategy for my currently married/separated Filipina girlfriend

[Boiler 43,436]

2 minutes ago, Ugly_American said:

Granted. Does anyone not interpret these laws as a major cluster-f?  My ex has six siblings living in PI.  Most have kids and none are married. Good going, Catholic Church. Well done. Perhaps the laws will change soon because this generation isn’t stupid and they ain’t entering into no holy unions. Why would they???

So my assumption was not wrong.

 

As an aside that trend is common in most places, certainly the US.

[Ugly_American 11]

20 minutes ago, Boiler said:

So my assumption was not wrong.

 

As an aside that trend is common in most places, certainly the US.

Probably correct. However in PI marriage is a fish trap from which only the men can ‘cleanly’ escape to create limitless new families. At least marriage in the US equally traps both fish, holding both equally accountable — for the most part — certainly to a much higher degree. 

 

It is what it is. If laws cannot be enforced, then the government has larger problems than divorce and enforcement of child support. 

[Boiler 43,436]

Just now, Ugly_American said:

Probably correct. However in PI marriage is a fish trap from which only the men can ‘cleanly’ escape to create limitless new families. At least marriage in the US equally traps both fish, holding both equally accountable — for the most part — certainly to a much higher degree. 

 

It is what it is. If laws cannot be enforced, then the government has larger problems than divorce and enforcement of child support. 

Not sure most divorced US Males would agree with you.

[Ugly_American 11]

5 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Not sure most divorced US Males would agree with you.

I’m one. Is completely opting out of child support here and starting a new family an option? 

 

If so, my lawyer owes me an explanation. 

Edited March 25, 2019 by Ugly_American
Chg

[Boiler 43,436]

1 minute ago, Ugly_American said:

I’m one. Is completely opting out of child support here and starting a new family an option?

Some go underground but doing that is hard.

 

Most comments I get is that the game is rigged against men. One of the reasons why marriage from a male perspective is no longer thought of as a wise move. MGTOW is the acronym.

[Hank_ 9,173]

1 hour ago, Ugly_American said:

Granted. Does anyone not interpret these laws as a major cluster-f?  My ex has six siblings living in PI.  Most have kids and none are married. Good going, Catholic Church. Well done. Perhaps the laws will change soon because this generation isn’t stupid and they ain’t entering into no holy unions. Why would they???

I also know a fair number that are married,  but have a different "wife/husband" and kids.       Don't get me started on the church and the government ...  

 

Divorce gets talked about in the senate regularly, I think just to appease the people for awhile .. but it never gets passed into law.

[aaron2020 11,651]

50 minutes ago, Ugly_American said:

I’m one. Is completely opting out of child support here and starting a new family an option? 

 

If so, my lawyer owes me an explanation. 

Plenty of men in the US opt out of child support and start a new family.  I know dozens of them.  Happens everyday in America.

 

Nothing is going to happen to them unless someone sue.  Meaning, someone has to file a civil lawsuit in family court asking for a divorce and child support. 

 

Your lawyer will gladly give you an explanation if completely opting out of child support here and starting a new family is an option for a fee.  Unless you pay him, he doesn't owe you an explanation on how child support works in America; a subject completely irrelevant to bringing your married fiancee to the US.  

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

7 hours ago, John & Rose said:

Can divorce even happen if both parties are Filipino citizens and they were married in the Philippines?  That sound like only annulment will meet the requirement of dissolution of marriage.

Yes, if one can make it to Guam. 

 

They can get enough paperwork to get a US fiancé or Spousal visa

 

 

[Chris Duffy 1,256]

3 hours ago, Boiler said:

My impression and I could be wrong, is that most Pinays with children I see being sponsored have never been married.

 

Seems to be asked all the time if there is an issue with getting the fathers OK.

You are correct, the lion share have never been married.  There are a lot of single mothers in the Philippines

[Boiler 43,436]

20 minutes ago, Chris Duffy said:

You are correct, the lion share have never been married.  There are a lot of single mothers in the Philippines

We go back to an earlier point, if you are looking there are lots of options without complicating issues.

[geowrian 22,335]

Yup, PH's laws don't do much / nearly enough to protect women and children.

At the same time, the law is fairly consistent - the mother maintains sole custody in many cases.

By guess is that second part contributes to the the first - it's hard to keep men involved in the child's life and their well being when the mother often has final say on having any sort of relationship (or at least has significant hurdles/barriers to doing so).

That's certainly not the only issue, but I do think it is one contributing factor.

[Ugly_American 11]

35 minutes ago, Boiler said:

We go back to an earlier point, if you are looking there are lots of options without complicating issues.

Message received from earlier point and now this: Go find a different girl, one who is single or unmarried. 

[Ugly_American 11]

18 minutes ago, geowrian said:

Yup, PH's laws don't do much / nearly enough to protect women and children.

At the same time, the law is fairly consistent - the mother maintains sole custody in many cases.

By guess is that second part contributes to the the first - it's hard to keep men involved in the child's life and their well being when the mother often has final say on having any sort of relationship (or at least has significant hurdles/barriers to doing so).

That's certainly not the only issue, but I do think it is one contributing factor.

I see your point, but it’s not really fair: The men don’t get to live in the house with the kids while the women do. But in return the women also get to bear all the childcare and financial obligations. 

[geowrian 22,335]

7 minutes ago, Ugly_American said:

I see your point, but it’s not really fair: The men don’t get to live in the house with the kids while the women do. But in return the women also get to bear all the childcare and financial obligations. 

I agree - it's not fair.  I just pointed out it is likely 1 factor that - if adjusted properly - could help the issue.

[Boiler 43,436]

I have noticed fair depends on where you are and how it impacts you.

 

In a messy divorce there can be no winners, there only can be losers, just depends who loses by how much.

 

It is a sort of first world problem, in PI I doubt there is often much spare wealth to go around, if you have a family on the edge and they break up then there is no practical logical solution.

 

I have always assumed that was why the marriage until you die prescription in pretty much all religions,  outside the 1% there was no other realistic choice.