5 years married, with two kids, very confused

[confusedmom 0]

Hi. Here’s my story: I came on a K1 visa in 2013, was out of status until August 2017 when I filed for AOS. The reason is my husband was filing for disability and did not get approved until that year. Obviously I have not been home to my home country since 2013. We have been married for 5 years with two kids. There were a lot of fights and a lot of make ups. We managed to stay together. Although I have to be honest that I was not sure what made me stay with him, but mostly I could say that it was for the kids. Now my interview is coming next month, and the husband and I have been fighting like crazy lately and I am very confused to what I can do. I am not sure what my feelings are, if I am still happy with him or I am only staying because I don’t want to be away from my kids. My questions are, since I am not a permanent resident neither a citizen, if I ever do decide to divorce him, how am I gonna fight him in the court to have my kids with me? Do I have a slight chance on getting a sole custody? Can I take them with me home? Obviously I won’t be able to come back to the US since I overstayed my K1 and interview for the green card isn’t finished either. So I am really worried on to what my options are to get my kids. 

[Boiler 43,422]

If he is agreeable to the children leaving the Country then that should be possible, if not unlikely a Judge would order it.

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hi.

 

These are not immigration issues.  These are family law issues.  A judge may or may not allow you to take your children abroad.  It depends on the details of what is in the best interest of the children.  No one knows what country you are from.  No one knows your details.  So, it's impossible to answer your questions.

 

Best of luck.

[confusedmom 0]

7 minutes ago, Boiler said:

If he is agreeable to the children leaving the Country then that should be possible, if not unlikely a Judge would order it.

We have not talked about it but I got a feeling he won’t agree to it. I mean he can come and go visit the kids but since if I abandon my AOS I won’t be able to come back and there goes my chance seeing the kids.

[Boiler 43,422]

It would be an unusual situation for a US judge to agree to US children to be taken abroad.

 

Something to be discussed with your Divorce Lawyer.

 

[Ontarkie 13,911]

Since we don't really have much other than what you posted above. I say do not do anything out of anger and frustration. Since you are confused marriage counselling would be a good place to start and most likely some just for you. So much has gone on since you arrived 5 yrs and 2 kids later. With your interview next month I'd go to it. Like you said you've had your ups and downs. This is where marriage counseling would be good. Now for others reading this also. I'm not telling her to stick with her marriage if there is abuse. She didn't say there was, just that she is confused.

 

For me when you're done with your marriage you know it. You may not want to act on it but you sure as heck know when you're done. That does not sound like you.

 

As for being able to take the kids with you. That could be a hard and long fight if he won't allow it. 

 

Think with your head and not your heart but never while mad, upset or out of anger. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Ontarkie

[R&OC 349]

Your kids are US-Citizens and you are right now in status because of your AOS. If, for some reason, you are abandoning the AOS  - you will be out of status with all its consequences. I am not a lawyer but from what I am reading in the news with illegal immigrants being deported back to their home countries and the kids staying behind in the US plus you wouldn't be able to visit them at all...

 

Having that risk in the back of my mind, I would think rationally and seek marriage counselling as well as pursuing the AOS interview on the best terms possible. Keep your risk in mind! Don't let your heart speak and stay rational.