Anyone worry about your k-1 being denied? And what would happen to "us"?

[Limey 550]

Lots of people get a feeling that nothing good ever happens to them. Its a surefire way to remain miserable. Happy people - the people that good things happen to - are the people who grasp opportunities when they come along, and always try to be positive. They don't worry about what might happen, and don't worry that it might not work out. If you worry about those things, you'll never do anything. I've always grabbed the opportunities that come along, and my motto in life has been "whats the worst that could happen?"

 

Prior to the k1 to marry my American wife, I lost my partner of 12 years to breast cancer after a battle lasting several years. It was awful. Next thing I know I've met my now wife in a bar in the UK, visited her in the US and a couple of years later we were married and living our great life in the USA. Terrible things can happen to any of us, but good things can too. I could have convinced myself when I met my beautiful American wife for the first time that nothing good ever happens for me, or that it was crazy to think that a chance meeting in a bar could change my life and see me living in the USA a couple of years later. But if you don't take those opportunities and believe it can happen, then it won't. I'm not religious at all and I don't believe in destiny or anything like that. I just think things worked out because I always remained positive, and I always believed that nothing was predetermined and it was up to me to make my own future happen.

[ineedadisplayname 444]

On 11/26/2017 at 12:39 PM, Kristi&Luigi said:

I am not worried about being denied at all but my fiance is. He has suffered all his life and doesn't think something good will ever come for him. Romania isn't somewhere we want to spend our future in. Things are tough here. I am visiting with him right now and we struggle to even have food in our plate. 

Sorry to hear your situation.

I don't want to disappoint you or be mean, but Romania is not that bad. Not sure where you are now and don't know all your background and stuff. BUT if you are struggling in Romania to put food on the table for the two of you then I am not sure what is going to happen in the USA. The other day I was looking for basic (emergency) insurance plans for non citizens (accident, etc) while I will get a work permit and maybe (who knows) my future employer will offer some kind of insurance...Boy, they are expensive.... Does your fiancee speak good/acceptable English? Is he working now? AFAIK after filing for AOS (also expensive) it will take at least 3-4 months to get work permit, etc...

 

What I am trying to say is that if you love each other then you can figure things out. Maybe you could move to Romania, find a good job (there are a ton of international companies in Romania, you are a native speaker, etc) So nothing is impossible. Or as others suggested he can move almost freely in the European Union and work.

 

About being denied. I think every one of us thought about what IF. For some people the whole process is easier, less stressful because they don't compensate red flags like big age difference,  or being engaged in short time and file asap for k1,  where to live it you get denied, another year "wasted" waiting for CR1 if K1 didn't work out and so on.

 

Since you asked what is my reasoning not to worry: In our case there is a big age difference, for us to live in Romania would not be an option if K1 is denied because we can't get married here (gay couple) so he can't stay more than 3 months, but honestly we are not worried too much about being denied or stuff. Even before we decided to go with the K1 we checked out a lot of european countries where we could could move and both of us would enjoy it. We have an ongoing relationship for 3 years now, so whatever life throws at us we are going to overcome it. I am not worried about my relationship if the K1 is denied, because I know he won't say that ah sorry didnt' work out I will find somebody else to be with.

 

So in a sens everybody really needs to be sure in their relationship and in a way this all process is a good test for the relationship.

Edited November 28, 2017 by ineedadisplayname

[noraliz73 243]

27 minutes ago, ineedadisplayname said:

Sorry to hear your situation.

I don't want to disappoint you or be mean, but Romania is not that bad. Not sure where you are now and don't know all your background and stuff. BUT if you are struggling in Romania to put food on the table for the two of you then I am not sure what is going to happen in the USA. The other day I was looking for basic (emergency) insurance plans for non citizens (accident, etc) while I will get a work permit and maybe (who knows) my future employer will offer some kind of insurance...Boy, they are expensive.... Does your fiancee speak good/acceptable English? Is he working now? AFAIK after filing for AOS (also expensive) it will take at least 3-4 months to get work permit, etc...

 

What I am trying to say is that if you love each other then you can figure things out. Maybe you could move to Romania, find a good job (there are a ton of international companies in Romania, you are a native speaker, etc) So nothing is impossible. Or as others suggested he can move almost freely in the European Union and work.

 

About being denied. I think every one of us thought about what IF. For some people the whole process is easier, less stressful because they don't compensate red flags like big age difference,  or being engaged in short time and file asap for k1,  where to live it you get denied, another year "wasted" waiting for CR1 if K1 didn't work out and so on.

 

Since you asked what is my reasoning not to worry: In our case there is a big age difference, for us to live in Romania would not be an option if K1 is denied because we can't get married here (gay couple) so he can't stay more than 3 months, but honestly we are not worried too much about being denied or stuff. Even before we decided to go with the K1 we checked out a lot of european countries where we could could move and both of us would enjoy it. We have an ongoing relationship for 3 years now, so whatever life throws at us we are going to overcome it. I am not worried about my relationship if the K1 is denied, because I know he won't say that ah sorry didnt' work out I will find somebody else to be with.

 

So in a sens everybody really needs to be sure in their relationship and in a way this all process is a good test for the relationship.

I'm starting to see that not everyone really wants to come to the United States and that some tough choices will need to be made.  I would pack up and go in an instant, but I'd leave unpaid bills and my family would no longer speak to me and I probably could never afford to come back.  And, I still want to be with him anyway so he doesn't have to be inconvenienced and leave his country.  That really is scary.  I can see his hesitation.  You are putting your future in one person's hands.  He would always have something to go back to in his country, but I would have to give up everything and have no one and nothing. Not everyone just wants a visa.  I think I might be getting a message here or maybe it is that he is so worried about being denied that he is focusing on Plan B.  All in all, people don't want to give up their relationships even if they can't come to the USA, but the denial of the visa often hurts the petitioner way more.

[Little_Vixen 1,869]

12 minutes ago, noraliz73 said:

I'm starting to see that not everyone really wants to come to the United States and that some tough choices will need to be made. 

I think this is true for most genuine immigrants on K-1 visa. You move to be with your loved one, not to come to America. When we decided what we were going to do and where we wanted to live, we initially looked at the Netherlands. To be fair, it has better healthcare, better government support, better job opportunities, ect. But that would mean he had to uproot his family and move here. He is a single father of four. Two still live at home (15 and 16, so really too old to settle in the Netherlands comfortably) and two have moved out (18 and 21, so no guarantee they never need a hand, or a bed) . Their mothers deceased, so he truly is all they have. I can't take him away from them. So I decided to move over there.

 

In the end you do what is in the best interest of all parties involved. If that means you move to another country, you move. If it means you have to try a different visa , you try a different visa. It's very personal.

[noraliz73 243]

22 minutes ago, Little_Vixen said:

I think this is true for most genuine immigrants on K-1 visa. You move to be with your loved one, not to come to America. When we decided what we were going to do and where we wanted to live, we initially looked at the Netherlands. To be fair, it has better healthcare, better government support, better job opportunities, ect. But that would mean he had to uproot his family and move here. He is a single father of four. Two still live at home (15 and 16, so really too old to settle in the Netherlands comfortably) and two have moved out (18 and 21, so no guarantee they never need a hand, or a bed) . Their mothers deceased, so he truly is all they have. I can't take him away from them. So I decided to move over there.

 

In the end you do what is in the best interest of all parties involved. If that means you move to another country, you move. If it means you have to try a different visa , you try a different visa. It's very personal.

I do know that my best friend would never intentionally hurt me, so we have to pray we make the best choice.  I wish USCIS moved quicker, but everything in its time.

[ineedadisplayname 444]

33 minutes ago, Little_Vixen said:

I think this is true for most genuine immigrants on K-1 visa. You move to be with your loved one, not to come to America.

I think you summed it up quite well. I totally agree with what you said.

 

Either party moves, they give up something. I think being open and be able to discuss it with your loved one is the key here. If the other person would feel hostile/super negative etc if you would mention a plan B that is not a good sign I think. We sat down, talked it  over,  made some financial calculation (insurance, rent, cost of living, etc ), possible job prospects, all the stuff we would need to not to worry if something happens and then we decided to go with the K1. He would be more than happy to live somewhere in Europe, so do I, but for now we decided that it is more than enough for one of us to move...

 

51 minutes ago, noraliz73 said:

He would always have something to go back to in his country, but I would have to give up everything and have no one and nothing.

Maybe I just didn't really get what you tried to say with this sentence, but I think most of us is not 18 years old so we already built up an existence for ourselfs in our country of origin. Btw why would you think that he would always have something to go back to in his country?  Most of us probably is going to sell the stuff we own and move. That is why I said it is very important to be sure in your relationship. I am not hesitant to move after we get approved, but that is because we know each other for a long time. I assume it would be much riskier to do the same if you know the person for 3-4 months and spent together only a week or so...

Edited November 28, 2017 by ineedadisplayname
grammar

[noraliz73 243]

33 minutes ago, ineedadisplayname said:

I think you summed it up quite well. I totally agree with what you said.

 

Either party moves, they give up something. I think being open and be able to discuss it with your loved one is the key here. If the other person would feel hostile/super negative etc if you would mention a plan B that is not a good sign I think. We sat down, talked it  over,  made some financial calculation (insurance, rent, cost of living, etc ), possible job prospects, all the stuff we would need to not to worry if something happens and then we decided to go with the K1. He would be more than happy to live somewhere in Europe, so do I, but for now we decided that it is more than enough for one of us to move...

 

Maybe I just didn't really get what you tried to say with this sentence, but I think most of us is not 18 years old so we already built up an existence for ourselfs in our country of origin. Btw why would you think that he would always have something to go back to in his country?  Most of us probably is going to sell the stuff we own and move. That is why I said it is very important to be sure in your relationship. I am not hesitant to move after we get approved, but that is because we know each other for a long time. I assume it would be much riskier to do the same if you know the person for 3-4 months and spent together only a week or so...

Some people own property in their home country.  I rent, but I have children.  Friends for 30 years, but separated due to circumstances.

[noraliz73 243]

5 hours ago, noraliz73 said:

Some people own property in their home country.  I rent, but I have children.  Friends for 30 years, but separated due to circumstances.

Sometimes it is not that you are worried that you will not want to be together.  My S.O. is not selling all of his property in his country because we do not intend to stay in the United States for our lifetimes.  My children are about grown.  One of them is still young, and even though they don't live with me, I want us to be here for them until they are just a bit older.  This is what we decided.  For us, his coming here is about me and my children and my being able to stay in my job another 6 years so that I can collect my pension.  If I move to his country, I will lose out on all of that.  It has nothing to do with only knowing each other for a short period of time or doubting one another.  Unfortunately, we have to consider worse case scenarios.  What if either one of us gets sick?  If I have my pension and no debt in the USA, I can come back here if my husband passes away.  If something happens to me here, he can sell whatever property we have, take the money and go back to his country, where he already owns homes, has a family and has belongings.  My children will be cared for by my pension and inheritance.  So, again, sometimes the petitioner has a lot more to lose than the beneficiary does if the visa is not granted.  Especially if they are very likely to give everything up anyway in order to be with the other person.  Everyone has to weigh out the pros and cons before making that decision.  For us, it seemed like a no-brainer to apply for the K1 visa and stay here for a few years until I was in a better situation to settle down in his country.  I guess that is why it is considered a non-immigrant visa.  Sometimes people just want to be together as they work towards building a future that will benefit the entire family and really settle down into a permanent home.  I am so looking forward to making a home with him.  I just don't know where it will be yet.  We met when we were kids and I was an exchange student.  Something really awful happened and I went almost 28 years thinking he didn't want to see me.  It was an accident and then someone's being too lazy to tell him I was in Egypt again and wanted to see him in the hospital.  Now that we are in one another's lives again, I do not want to miss another minute.  So, no matter what I have to go through, I will do my best not to.  I hope that every genuine couple who is reading this gets their visa soon!