Dealing with a very spiteful ex whilst my ROC date is looming. Should I find a lawyer?

[Private One 44]

2 minutes ago, Damara said:

This thread is getting a little tense... lets all try to take a step back so the mods dont have to intervene.

 

Its important to remember everyone has different experiences which impact the type of advice they dole out. Unless one is a psychic- no one can say for sure what the best course of action will be for plinky. 

 

There are some things that are true for anyone in the ROC process. You have MANY opportunities to employ the services of an attny. I actually detailed them out in my last post. So choosing whether or not to hire an attny for ROC is not 'do it at the beginning or else you can never have one'.  You can start it yourself and employ one later on if needed. Or you can employ them from the start. Or you can never employ one. 

 

As others have stated if you are able to assemble the packet yourself- you do not absolutely need one to file. If you can not assemble it, you should get help (from either VJ or an attny). Plinky does appear to need help figuring out how to gather what is needed and how to assemble it. She needs guidance- this can be found by doing research on VJ and asking questions- or direct help from an attny. The choice is going to be hers. 

 

On a side note- there is truth to everything that everyone has posted so far. Yes, the USCIS is understanding but at the same time they have requirements. You almost have to look at it like being able to see the forest beyond the trees. Everyone is going to have different things as evidence. There is NO master list of documents to get approved. If there was, it would be way too easy for people to commit fraud by simply generating items check list style. Instead USCIS looks at all the individual "trees" to see if they make a "forest". 

 

When you leave out documents- like utility bills or joint leases it raises a question of why they were omitted and they why does matter. Its OK if the bills are not joint. Many utility companies will not add a spouse on to the account. But theres a difference between showing a bill in only one spouses name and explaining they are not on it for whatever reason, and not showing any bill. The invisible bill may be joint with another person. The invisible bill may be being paid by someone else. When someone doesnt 'show' something it leads to suspicion as there is usually a reason why its kept hidden. 

 

So its best to just lay everything out there. Show it all and explain everything. Never assume USCIS will connect the dots. They dont and wont. 

 

(I also  didnt address the part about the ex calling and reporting her because its a non issue. Unless he has strong documentation- it wont impact directly. She can address the fact that he complained, but it should be done in a roundabout way. Writing an affidavit explaining the marriage and breakdown and his "I hate you now" attitude change.)  

Great points Damara. 

 

Once again I agree with a lot you had to say except one point and that's the last part. I don't see this as a non issue. You did go on to say "unless he has strong documentation" but I see it as an issue regardless. I don't think he needs strong documentation to get USCIS interested in taking a closer look. A very convincing story can do the trick. Not saying they'll believe him but it may be just enough convincing to warrant a closer look or inquiry. If questions are raised during the interview and plinkabob stumbles (may because of nervousness or lack of memory etc) it may give may give credibility to what ever story was told. 

 

I have to add this: There's a chance her ex never even called to report her. He could just be bluffing. 

 

Great advice from you nonetheless. 

 

[Mollie09 1,543]

From a personal standpoint: I did my ROC with a lawyer, exactly for this reason. I had a bonafide marriage that ended in divorce in less than a year, I read VJ, but I didn't know for my particular situation the best evidence to submit. I came to his office with some documents, I thought it would be enough to prove I was obviously telling the truth. My ex-husband and I had lived together for years before we married, I submitted all that evidence at AOS, why submit it again at ROC?

He disagreed and asked for more, asked for specific documents, asked for letters he sent me apologizing for his part in the divorce (all of it), asked me to dig up account statements for closed joint accounts (had to ask the bank), real estate tax bills, asked me for affidavits, and travel itineraries, things I didn't think were really necessary but he was insistent. In the end I saw I was being optimistic, and he was preparing for the worst.

 

I was approved without RFE an without an interview. This is, again, just my personal experience. But having a lawyer was valuable for me to see what I needed to submit in my case.

[plinkabob 7]

Oh wow! What an amazing show of support from all of you. I have had two very hectic days at work so havent been able to reply. My apologies. 

 

Thank you all so much for your valuable advice. It really makes a girl feel loved and supported.

 

I have reached out to a few lawyers on avvo.com but havent had a reply as of yet. I think I am going to get together as much evidence as possible and then, if I feel confident in what I have managed to gather, I will seek advice as to whether or not to file with an attorney. 

 

I've tried to get copies of my joint bank account but as it was closed back in November, they won't allow me to get copies unless I go into a branch. The nearest is an hour away so its not as bad as driving all the way to Chicago. I also have a few credit cards where he was an authorised user if that helps

 

Also, The utilities i have called so far won't send me copies of any statements as they say i should just go online and print them off. I'll keep working on that one....

 

Other than that I have

- a joint tax return

- a sales receipt for our car in both our names

- joint credit card statements

- loads of travel items from our vacations

- proof of a 50 mile walk we did on our own for charity (the fundraiser page etc)

- emails from our join bank account whenever our comcast bill came out cause it was always over our alert limit (it's a long shot)

- millions of social media status updates about how much he loves me and how great a wife I am (another long shot)

- I'm sure I can find friends who would be willing to write an affidavit

- joint health insurance bills

- Joint car insurance

- vet bills (?)

- all the little things like birthday cards, anniversary cards etc etc.

 

I'm sure i will come up with a lot more after thinking about it a little more. Any suggestions are welcome. I will surely be doing a lot more research on here to see what other goodies I can include in my package. Then I'll see if I have enough. 

 

You guys really have brightened up my week with all your support. Thank you so much!!!! 

[Harmonia 211]

14 hours ago, plinkabob said:

Other than that I have

- a joint tax return

- a sales receipt for our car in both our names

- joint credit card statements

- loads of travel items from our vacations

- proof of a 50 mile walk we did on our own for charity (the fundraiser page etc)

- emails from our join bank account whenever our comcast bill came out cause it was always over our alert limit (it's a long shot)

- millions of social media status updates about how much he loves me and how great a wife I am (another long shot)

- I'm sure I can find friends who would be willing to write an affidavit

- joint health insurance bills

- Joint car insurance

- vet bills (?)

- all the little things like birthday cards, anniversary cards etc etc.

 

You're doing great. These are all good things to submit. We submitted vet bills and airplane itineraries with both our names on it, too.

 

Some other ideas. Did  you have joint renter's insurance? A joint HSA or health insurance? Health care proxy? Emergency contact sheet for your work listing him? Joint cell phone plan? 
 

I think you said you didn't have a lease. Do you have a neighbor who could write an affidavit? We lived with my mom for about 10 months, no lease, and she wrote a statement saying we lived with her at X address for Y dates. And she put in a cute story about us attesting to our marriage. It was like, 2 or 3 paragraphs. 

 

Edited March 24, 2017 by Harmonia

[Private One 44]

On 3/24/2017 at 0:35 AM, plinkabob said:

Oh wow! What an amazing show of support from all of you. I have had two very hectic days at work so havent been able to reply. My apologies...

 

 

No need to apologize. I'm just happy to hear that you have all this evidence and you're getting somewhere. "Vet bills?" Why not? Many families treat the pets like a true member of the family so that will definitely help if the bills shows some kind of between you and your ex. 

 

I'm including this link from a post I've been following because it may help you prepare. This one person filed for a waiver ROC in December 2015 and found out at the interview that his/her contacted USCIS and reported the marriage to be fraud.  

 

Best wishes going forward.