Separated From My Husband

[lostwoman 1]

You mean your kid live outside the US for a long time? That doesn't matter. If the parent is a US citizen, the child is too.

I am sorry that my answer was kind of confusing. My husband lived outside U.S. he did not meet the years that he is supposed to live in the U.S. so his kids would be U.S. citizens too, I forgot the term...

[EM_Vandaveer 2,370]

I am sorry that my answer was kind of confusing. My husband lived outside U.S. he did not meet the years that he is supposed to live in the U.S. so his kids would be U.S. citizens too, I forgot the term...

Yes, but if your child has a GC now & was living with your husband (he was until recently) then the child automatically became a USC.

[NikLR 13,220]

I am really thinking of leaving my child with him. As of now, I have nothing, no car, no place to stay. I do have a job but it is outside the State where I live. I want to get an Apt. or house, but very impossible to get one that is close to my work place or coworkers who I can carpool with. I am just lost. It's going to be hard to leave my kid as I know how he can be neglectful with him.

You just said he ignored you and your child due to an addiction, but now you're going to leave your child with him? Makes perfect sense.

Why the heck do you have a job out of state? Are there really no jobs in your state? I would want my spouse to get a closer part time job over having a full time job out of state. My husband has to do work training out of state and it's hard enough. I know some families do the out of state xx weeks on, xx weeks off, because a job pays well, but generally it's the main bread winner that does that (aka the person who's paying most of the bills.)

Yes, my spouse is USC. My husband was not able to get him citizenship because he lived outside the U.S. for many years.

Once your child arrived in the USA with an immigrant visa he became a USC. He may not have been able to to the CRBA, but your child is a USC. He's entitled to a passport but that requires both parents consent. You could speak to your spouse about getting your child a passport and moving back to the PI if that's what you want.

IMHO, if you really are done with your marriage, you need to figure out how this is going to work out with your child. I know what I would do, but what you should do is up to you. My child doesn't live with me, and I'm the mom, but her father is an excellent father, she's surrounded by close family on his side (so a bigger support system) and we have good communication. I would have never left her with him if I was ever worried about her safety, or the care he provided her with, or if we didn't communicate well about her and her future. She lives with her dad because SHE wanted to. If she wanted to live with me, he would have accepted that as well. If she was too young to make a decision about that, I wouldn't be living in the USA.

Edited June 19, 2016 by NLR

[Mrs. Wild 87]

Why the heck do you have a job out of state? Are there really no jobs in your state? I would want my spouse to get a closer part time job over having a full time job out of state. My husband has to do work training out of state and it's hard enough. I know some families do the out of state xx weeks on, xx weeks off, because a job pays well, but generally it's the main bread winner that does that (aka the person who's paying most of the bills.)

It's really common for people on the east coast to have a job out of state, everything is so close together over there. Transportation between major cities is much faster/easier than the rest of the country where things are more spread out. I'm assuming this is the case for the OP?

[NikLR 13,220]

I asked the OP the question because if they worked close to where they lived she wouldnt be thinking about leaving her child with an addict who ignores his family, by her declaration. The two are related and intertwined.

It's really common for people on the east coast to have a job out of state, everything is so close together over there. Transportation between major cities is much faster/easier than the rest of the country where things are more spread out. I'm assuming this is the case for the OP?

[Anitafeliz 1,133]

I am really thinking of leaving my child with him. As of now, I have nothing, no car, no place to stay. I do have a job but it is outside the State where I live. I want to get an Apt. or house, but very impossible to get one that is close to my work place or coworkers who I can carpool with. I am just lost. It's going to be hard to leave my kid as I know how he can be neglectful with him.

That's a double edge sword you cannot knowingly leave a child in a neglectful situation you need to get an attorney...ASAP

Your child's safety is the most importAnt thing.

Edited June 19, 2016 by Anitafeliz

[Ontarkie 13,918]

Do not leave your child with the father. He can turn around and say you abandoned them both. Then you may end up in a very ugly battle. I know you posted that you want them to have a good relationship and you will not prevent that from happening. That is great and how it should be, but you don't know what your husband will do.

Go consult a lawyer.

[xmgirl 4]

It is so sad to hear what you are gong through not being supported by your USC husband sucks. You do not need to be controlled by him, one the freedoms rights I have really learn from this country is being able to leave an abusive relationship and move up. You should contact a lawyer. Once you have gotten the 10 GC card and if you have been a GC holder for more than 5 yrs you can apply for citizenship and help your child become a USC.

Also the people who signed the i-864 form are legally responsible to have brought a inmigrant to this country and should not have to ask for goverment assistance. Your USC husband needs to found responsible for alimony and child support. If he is violent to you don't hesitate to call 911 and let them know what is happening. Don't be afraid. Violence against women must STOP and btw the more infor you can get the better.

Good Luck!

[NikLR 13,220]

Thus far we only have the OP's word that the husband is being controlling; with the only signifying statement being that he wants her to quit her out of state full time employment, to work at part time employment closer by especially since she doesn't have a driver's license. Oh and cancel some driving lessons, but without a stated reason (maybe he can't take her at those times?) But she does say he has an addiction, but what kind we don't know. I didn't read anything that said abuse either so why are people jumping on that band wagon?

Really IMHO, more info is needed; and I'm not ready to label this man as a bad person.

Edited June 20, 2016 by NLR

[Vu&Nhung 2]

if you need a mailing address, you should get a PO Box at the post office or UPS stores

[lostwoman 1]

You just said he ignored you and your child due to an addiction, but now you're going to leave your child with him? Makes perfect sense.

I am here for an advice. You do not know my situation, it is easier for you to say that

Why the heck do you have a job out of state? Are there really no jobs in your state? I would want my spouse to get a closer part time job over having a full time job out of state. My husband has to do work training out of state and it's hard enough. I know some families do the out of state xx weeks on, xx weeks off, because a job pays well, but generally it's the main bread winner that does that (aka the person who's paying most of the bills.)

There are many job in my State, as I stated above. I do not have a driver's license yet. In the town where I live does not have good paying job. My work place is few minutes away from where I used to live.

Once your child arrived in the USA with an immigrant visa he became a USC. He may not have been able to to the CRBA, but your child is a USC. He's entitled to a passport but that requires both parents consent. You could speak to your spouse about getting your child a passport and moving back to the PI if that's what you want.

IMHO, if you really are done with your marriage, you need to figure out how this is going to work out with your child. I know what I would do, but what you should do is up to you. My child doesn't live with me, and I'm the mom, but her father is an excellent father, she's surrounded by close family on his side (so a bigger support system) and we have good communication. I would have never left her with him if I was ever worried about her safety, or the care he provided her with, or if we didn't communicate well about her and her future. She lives with her dad because SHE wanted to. If she wanted to live with me, he would have accepted that as well. If she was too young to make a decision about that, I wouldn't be living in the USA.

Not everyone is as blessed as you are.

[NikLR 13,220]

You just said he ignored you and your child due to an addiction, but now you're going to leave your child with him? Makes perfect sense.

I am here for an advice. You do not know my situation, it is easier for you to say that

Why the heck do you have a job out of state? Are there really no jobs in your state? I would want my spouse to get a closer part time job over having a full time job out of state. My husband has to do work training out of state and it's hard enough. I know some families do the out of state xx weeks on, xx weeks off, because a job pays well, but generally it's the main bread winner that does that (aka the person who's paying most of the bills.)

There are many job in my State, as I stated above. I do not have a driver's license yet. In the town where I live does not have good paying job. My work place is few minutes away from where I used to live.

Once your child arrived in the USA with an immigrant visa he became a USC. He may not have been able to to the CRBA, but your child is a USC. He's entitled to a passport but that requires both parents consent. You could speak to your spouse about getting your child a passport and moving back to the PI if that's what you want.

IMHO, if you really are done with your marriage, you need to figure out how this is going to work out with your child. I know what I would do, but what you should do is up to you. My child doesn't live with me, and I'm the mom, but her father is an excellent father, she's surrounded by close family on his side (so a bigger support system) and we have good communication. I would have never left her with him if I was ever worried about her safety, or the care he provided her with, or if we didn't communicate well about her and her future. She lives with her dad because SHE wanted to. If she wanted to live with me, he would have accepted that as well. If she was too young to make a decision about that, I wouldn't be living in the USA.

Not everyone is as blessed as you are.

It's easier for people to know the answers when you type outside the quotes. Just an FYI. I coloured your quotes in red so people know which is your answers and which are not.

So your city is close to a state line? That makes sense then. I'm still unsure why you can't live in your state if it's a few minutes away?

I'm unsure how you think my situation is blessed? I gave you advice and yes, it probably sounded a little judgmental, but you didn't give much information either, so we're going off what you have to say, which was very little.

Because I don't think you understand, due to your "blessed" comment here it is again:

I don't live with my child and it hurts every day. She chose to live with her dad and it hurts EVERY DAY. I get to see her every 3 months for about 10 days at a time (and a month in the summer) and putting her back on that plane hurts so much I cannot explain it. BUT I would never have moved if I felt she wasn't in a safe environment, with a loving father. That I hopefully would be able to provide her with a better life if she ever did decide to live with me instead of living pay check to pay check. However AGAIN, what you should do it up to you. I'm telling you that likely will regret that decision. Leaving your child with someone who is neglectful for whatever reason, is just bad parenting on your part (and theirs.) I would rather live pay check to pay check than ever leave my child with someone who would neglect, ignore, or harm her in any way, shape, or form.

Edited June 20, 2016 by NLR

[NikLR 13,220]

Do what you want. You have your 10 year green card. Your child is a USC. Anything else is a domestic/family problem and not immigration related.

<EOM>

[lostwoman 1]

It's easier for people to know the answers when you type outside the quotes. Just an FYI. I coloured your quotes in red so people know which is your answers and which are not.

So your city is close to a state line? That makes sense then. I'm still unsure why you can't live in your state if it's a few minutes away?

I'm unsure how you think my situation is blessed? I gave you advice and yes, it probably sounded a little judgmental, but you didn't give much information either, so we're going off what you have to say, which was very little.

Because I don't think you understand, due to your "blessed" comment here it is again:

I don't live with my child and it hurts every day. She chose to live with her dad and it hurts EVERY DAY. I get to see her every 3 months for about 10 days at a time (and a month in the summer) and putting her back on that plane hurts so much I cannot explain it. BUT I would never have moved if I felt she wasn't in a safe environment, with a loving father. That I hopefully would be able to provide her with a better life if she ever did decide to live with me instead of living pay check to pay check. However AGAIN, what you should do it up to you. I'm telling you that likely will regret that decision. Leaving your child with someone who is neglectful for whatever reason, is just bad parenting on your part (and theirs.) I would rather live pay check to pay check than ever leave my child with someone who would neglect, ignore, or harm her in any way, shape, or form.

I am not leaving my child with him. I already stated I was planning to. And if I would, his baby sitter (my friend) would spend more time with him than him. Since he is always away from home and only spend 2 days off at home. So, do not tell me that I am just as neglectful as the father.

Well, I am sorry about your child choosing the father over you. I know how it feels to be hurt, as I am in that situation. Thanks for the advice.

I am not leaving my child with him. I said I was planning to but does not mean, I am . And if I would, his baby sitter (my friend) would spend more time with him than him. Since he is always away from home and only spend 2 days off at home. So, do not tell me that I am just as neglectful as the father.

Well, I am sorry about your child choosing the father over you. I know how it feels to be hurt, as I am in that situation. Thanks for the advice.