STUBBORN WIFE!!!

[Anh map 2,098]

If I were you I would divorce and move on. It sounds like she has regrets about being married and wants to play the " you don't understand about America" card when it suits her.

These are all typical things that married couples have/do. Some folks keep everything separate, some 100% combined, others a mix.

Again, FWIW I'd suggest moving on and creating a normal life for yourself.

[traveler100 20]

First of all thanks to each and every person who replied and gave precious advises in my other post.Some how I convinced myself to give some more time to this relationship and not take a decision so early.I will be eligible to remove my conditions on the Conditional Green Card after 2 years and according to the research I did on this website I will have to submit extensive evidences.Now the biggest issue is that my wife is the biggest procrastinator I have ever come across in my life. She always wait until the very last moment to do things which are concerned with me. She does not want to add me to her employee Health Medical Insurance Plan-she says currently she is paying $30 and if she adds me she will have to pay $200 which I don't understand why. She says "we cannot have a Joint Vehicle Insurance because If one of us gets into a wreck then the other person's Insurance Premium will go up". She says she doesn't care what Immigration Officer wants to see.According to her,US Citizens don't do all this.She says she will tell the Immigration Officer on his/her face and ask him/her if he/she has a Joint Vehicle and Medical Insurance with his/her spouse.She is very reluctant to help me learn how to drive on her car,she says I will have to pay her 24 thousand dollars if I wreck her car while learning how to drive and doesn't wanna talk about the Immigration process and what we need to do to collect evidence.She says we will have a Joint Bank Account for name sake.Basically she does not give a damn about all this.I have talked to her and have tried to make her understand the importance of all this but there wasn't any use.I am added to her Apartment Lease and that is it.I need advice from people what else evidences should I start collecting and I want to know if what ever my wife is telling me is true.

I don't mean to sound insensitive or rude as I don't know the back story but may I ask if you have some kind of physical disability that prevents you from going out and getting a job of your own with your own health insurance and so therefore you can afford to buy yourself some driving lessons. This is the USA and here everyone has to live an active lifestyle with hard work to be able to afford the good life. Depending on your wife to do things for you is just lame. Thanks to her, you're here what else do you feel she owes you, bro?

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

IMO- She's a control freak who doesn't want to give you ANY independence. Driving is a big step in becoming somewhat independent.

I don't understand her excuses. Didn't she look into any of this before you decided to go for the visa?

Edited March 28, 2016 by Eric-Pris

[NikLR 13,220]

[depressed_lost 12]

I don't mean to sound insensitive or rude as I don't know the back story but may I ask if you have some kind of physical disability that prevents you from going out and getting a job of your own with your own health insurance and so therefore you can afford to buy yourself some driving lessons. This is the USA and here everyone has to live an active lifestyle with hard work to be able to afford the good life. Depending on your wife to do things for you is just lame. Thanks to her, you're here what else do you feel she owes you, bro?

You are not insensitive or rude and thanks for your precious time reading and replying.I guess you misread or understood it wrong or I wrote in a wrong way.First of all I am not disabled and I already have a job as soon as I get my AUTHORIZATION TO WORK.I am a person who has never expected and taken help of any kind from others.I am well educated and have worked hard always.I have and will always help people in need to any extent.I have absolutely no problem in getting own Health and Vehicle Insurance.I mentioned it here cos I am worried if we have separate insurances then the USICS will create problem and think it is not a bonafide marriage as they have done in many cases during REMOVAL OF CONDITION,which will be after two years from now for me.I have lived very active life style since I was very young.The last thing I want to do is to depend on someone else in my life.

[depressed_lost 12]

IMO- She's a control freak who doesn't want to give you ANY independence. Driving is a big step in becoming somewhat independent.

I don't understand her excuses. Didn't she look into any of this before you decided to go for the visa?

I really am not sure what she is but I cannot walk miles and miles when I start working.The place where I live I don't see buses and public transport.I cannot afford to pay so much money per hour to the driving school.

[depressed_lost 12]

IMO- She's a control freak who doesn't want to give you ANY independence. Driving is a big step in becoming somewhat independent.

I don't understand her excuses. Didn't she look into any of this before you decided to go for the visa?

I have asked her several times to read about the experiences of other people who have gone through the various processes on this website but according to her this website is bull****.I shouldn't pay attention to this website and everything is going to be alright.She says I worry way too much about things.My point is what will I do after 2 years when USICS will deny the petition because of lack of evidences of a bonafide marriage?

[deleted this acco 44]

You can enroll in a driver's Ed on your own. They provide a vehicle during lessons and teach you to drive. For extra practice you can find a friend who is willing. Once you start working you can get your own health insurance thru your employer. You gonna have to add her to your accounts and bills if she's hesitant. Maybe she's afraid to be played. Insurance is not cheap.

Edited March 28, 2016 by abbynak

[Love To Teach 161]

Wow, I feel bad for you. It sounds like she brought you over here to be the maid. I'm betting you also don't have your own money until you get a job. Judgmental or not, your present situation sounds like hell. It sounds like she is used to doing what she wants and doesn't want to be a part of a couple where you have any input. And it sounds like she learned all that from her mom. Sad to say, she's not likely to change. If you can stand it that long, get a job as soon as you can, save as much of your money as you can, and when you are able, move out and on to your own life. Good luck, my friend!!

[kkk1 42]

I have asked her several times to read about the experiences of other people who have gone through the various processes on this website but according to her this website is bull****.I shouldn't pay attention to this website and everything is going to be alright.She says I worry way too much about things.My point is what will I do after 2 years when USICS will deny the petition because of lack of evidences of a bonafide marriage?

Culturally things are different. Yes you would feel that no you already learnt western calture but that is not true there is a lot into it. Yes one good advice is that just don't expect anything from her. You need to figure out most of the things. Truth, some couple help each other and other spouse has respect for the immigtant spouse's situation and she provided reason for everything she dined to help you for. If you feel it is fustrating to you then you must talk to her. Fustration in relationship are good enough for seperate ways for both of you. She might be loving you as well but she just don't want to help you anymore. That's it. If it is not acceptable then you need to think what you need to do. See things will not change drastically and then you will be going to post same things about her and would always seek for the advice and people will be advicing nemerous thing.

Good luck man...

[depressed_lost 12]

You can enroll in a driver's Ed on your own. They provide a vehicle during lessons and teach you to drive. For extra practice you can find a friend who is willing. Once you start working you can get your own health insurance thru your employer. You gonna have to add her to your accounts and bills if she's hesitant. Maybe she's afraid to be played. Insurance is not cheap.

thanks for the advice....

[depressed_lost 12]

Culturally things are different. Yes you would feel that no you already learnt western calture but that is not true there is a lot into it. Yes one good advice is that just don't expect anything from her. You need to figure out most of the things. Truth, some couple help each other and other spouse has respect for the immigtant spouse's situation and she provided reason for everything she dined to help you for. If you feel it is fustrating to you then you must talk to her. Fustration in relationship are good enough for seperate ways for both of you. She might be loving you as well but she just don't want to help you anymore. That's it. If it is not acceptable then you need to think what you need to do. See things will not change drastically and then you will be going to post same things about her and would always seek for the advice and people will be advicing nemerous thing.

Good luck man...

well thanks for your advice it's just that it hurts a lot when you leave your family,friends,loved ones and your country to be with someone and they treat you not right.I come here and post because I don't have anyone else to share my problems.

[Dal&Rose 45]

OP it sounds like your wife didn't research at all what will be required of HER through this process. Since you are a K1 visa, have you started the process for AOS? Did she sign the paperwork in that regards, because without that, and how the relationship is going, you might be happier returning back to your home country. It's very inconsiderate of your wife to not help you with anything, and not take your worry, or concerns seriously. But I know each relationship is different.

As I am in the process of bringing my husband to the USA, I'm researching what is needed for both our parts. It may not be as much as an adjustment for you as my husband since UK/USA cultures aren't too relatively different in most aspects. But still, there are things to consider. You are required by law to have health insurance as soon as you become a legal resident. There are options out there so you may have to research those; there are a few reasons you may be exempt, but most may not apply since you are married and they do take that into consideration (I believe from what I have researched in regards to adding husband.) Yes, it's more expensive to add a spouse to employer's health insurance, but it's better than being fined for non-compliance with the federal law.

Since your wife is concerned only about herself for now, worry about yourself also. From what you have posted, you have tried and continue to try. But there is only so much that someone can give before having nothing more when the spouse is not willing to try also. If the marriage is not going to work out; make a decision to make yourself happy. You do deserve a happy life be it here, or your home country. Ultimately, the decision is up to you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I do hope things work out for you.

[depressed_lost 12]

OP it sounds like your wife didn't research at all what will be required of HER through this process. Since you are a K1 visa, have you started the process for AOS? Did she sign the paperwork in that regards, because without that, and how the relationship is going, you might be happier returning back to your home country. It's very inconsiderate of your wife to not help you with anything, and not take your worry, or concerns seriously. But I know each relationship is different.

As I am in the process of bringing my husband to the USA, I'm researching what is needed for both our parts. It may not be as much as an adjustment for you as my husband since UK/USA cultures aren't too relatively different in most aspects. But still, there are things to consider. You are required by law to have health insurance as soon as you become a legal resident. There are options out there so you may have to research those; there are a few reasons you may be exempt, but most may not apply since you are married and they do take that into consideration (I believe from what I have researched in regards to adding husband.) Yes, it's more expensive to add a spouse to employer's health insurance, but it's better than being fined for non-compliance with the federal law.

Since your wife is concerned only about herself for now, worry about yourself also. From what you have posted, you have tried and continue to try. But there is only so much that someone can give before having nothing more when the spouse is not willing to try also. If the marriage is not going to work out; make a decision to make yourself happy. You do deserve a happy life be it here, or your home country. Ultimately, the decision is up to you.

I wish you the best of luck, and I do hope things work out for you.

thanks a lot for those encouraging words...they mean a lot to me. As a matter of fact we have already applied for the AOS. I will wait till I finish one year with her if still the things are same or worse then definitely I am leaving and going back to India.I am doing this so I don't regret that I didn't give enough time in real life to the relationship.If I go now then may be at some point in my life I will think may be I should have waited some more.Hope you understand what I mean to say.

[depressed_lost 12]

Wow, I feel bad for you. It sounds like she brought you over here to be the maid. I'm betting you also don't have your own money until you get a job. Judgmental or not, your present situation sounds like hell. It sounds like she is used to doing what she wants and doesn't want to be a part of a couple where you have any input. And it sounds like she learned all that from her mom. Sad to say, she's not likely to change. If you can stand it that long, get a job as soon as you can, save a a much of your money as you can, and when you are able, move out and on to your own life. Good luck, my friend!!

Thank you so much for being kind.I do have money which I use to pay for my food,internet and the things I need.Apparently her mom says she learnt all this from her dad and her dad is the culprit.I don't know who is BS.I am waiting for my EAD and will start working asap and with my qualifications I am sure I can earn more than her.Lets see what happens.