Feeling Overwhelmed Today

[Dixie_Peach 1]

A big hug to you .. Today is not good for me to.

I can understand about your son mine acts the same way. Wants me to do everything for him while he lounges on the computer or plays the game.

Tiksman... you always come across so warm and sincere... thank you for your heart-felt words...

I am sorry that you are having a rough day today also... *hugs ya back* i'll be praying for ya..... I pray for all of VJ every day... but I'll put in a special one for you today my friend!

Big big HUGS, Lynne.

I will tell you we all have these days and we have to just lean on someone else to help boost our morale.

Hopefully the stresses of your teenage son will ease soon and Jamal and you will reunited. Just take it one day at a time and know you can always come and express your feelings on here. And in no way are you considered a heel. Sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves.

Mary

Mary, you have one of the kindest most generous hearts around... you are always such an inspiration to me... and to everyone else... I for one am blessed to count you as FRIEND! Thank you for the email... you are a treasure! I thank God everyday for bringing my VJ friends into my life... *hugs*

[nina1 0]

I know how you feel when you say "i'm tired of being the strong one".. I can relate to everything you wrote..

Lemme tell you one thing though, If i may... When i am depressed, i put some music on...Some quick music...Like dance music (club music), or songs like "you spin me round", "twist and shout" , "the roof is on fire"...Or i put some belly dancing music.... I just put music and start acting crazy...Like i sing the words out loud, i jump up and down... This is my cure, try it.

[Yasi 0]

A BIG HUG... you're in my thoughts and prayers... You're a strong woman hang in there.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

I know how you feel when you say "i'm tired of being the strong one".. I can relate to everything you wrote..

Lemme tell you one thing though, If i may... When i am depressed, i put some music on...Some quick music...Like dance music (club music), or songs like "you spin me round", "twist and shout" , "the roof is on fire"...Or i put some belly dancing music.... I just put music and start acting crazy...Like i sing the words out loud, i jump up and down... This is my cure, try it.

You know what... i USED to do that when I was younger... thank you for reminding me about that! That is absolutely an excellent idea!!!

Thank you all who have posted... you all are such wonderful people... and I am so blessed! Thank you so much! *hugs you all*

Your friend,

Lynne

[Fuzzness 2]

When my dad died I was the strong one. For the past few years I've always been the strong one. Probably because of all the ####### I've gone through and all the therapy have given me coping skills

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Everyone... thank you for your words of inspiration...

I definitely do feel somewhat better now...

Thank you for letting me share with you my thoughts and feelings... and for caring!

*hugs you all*

Lynne

[Sister Fracas 5]

(((((Lynne)))))

[Inlove_tx 0]

It's not a good day for me either. I guess it's just one of those "down days" you have to cope with as good as you can...but cry if you feel like crying, scream if you feel like screaming, who cares what people think!

I understand how you feel and just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that if you need us, your VJ friends will be here for you.

***HUGS***

[isleta521 5]

Hang in there DP. We all have bad days- Sometimes it feels like the whole world is caving in on you from all directions. Some days are just worse than others. You will get through them though. I wish you the best.

[Dixie_Peach 1]

date='Mar 15 2006, 02:20 PM' post='77513']

It's not a good day for me either. I guess it's just one of those "down days" you have to cope with as good as you can...but cry if you feel like crying, scream if you feel like screaming, who cares what people think!

I understand how you feel and just wanted to let you know that you're not alone and that if you need us, your VJ friends will be here for you.

***HUGS***

Inlove_tx... I'm sorry that you are having a rough day also... *hugs*... i'll be praying for ya... that your day gets better too!!! You are right, we cope as best as we can... and just get through from one moment to the next... sometimes, that works the best! I am so proud to be able to be counted amongst your friends!

*hugs* wishing you alllllllllllll the best!

Lynne

Hang in there DP. We all have bad days- Sometimes it feels like the whole world is caving in on you from all directions. Some days are just worse than others. You will get through them though. I wish you the best.

Thank you! That is exactly how I felt today... that the world is caving in... I wish you the best also isleta! Thank you for letting me share with you my frustrations... *hugs* Lynne

[Dixie_Peach 1]

Well... when I got home today, I decided that I would try to sit down and talk to my son... but somehow, everything just blew up... he was not responsive... he was isolating himself from me... so, i did not know what else to do except to call his dad... he will be with his dad for a while... right now, my heart is just breaking... i never imagined that i would have to send my son away to his dad for any reason other than just the overy other weekend, or whenever they wanted to get together kinda thing...

my mind says that it is what is good for him... but my heart is scared that he will never "come home" again...

my oldest sister was here with me... and no matter how many times she told me i was doing the right thing... i feel i have failed my son... when i tried to hug him when i first came home... he just pulled away... and walked off... he is purposefully closing himself off from me... and this happened so quickly today... it was totally unexpected...

could use all the prayers i could get right now...

[Peggy 1]

HUGS LYNNE

You had a hard day today with everything that is happening. I hope things will ease off some for you tomorrow.

Your not a bad mother. If you werent a good mother it wouldnt be making you so sad.

He will be back, just give him some time to miss his mom.

[aussiewench 10]

Awwwwwwwwww Lynne Its not easy when you lose a parent, especially one so close to. I lost my dad to cancer just before I was 21 and he was an amazing father that I miss so very much. Nearly 26 years and it still hurts like all hell and took me almost 22 years to finally say goodbye to him....22 years to properly grieve as I hadnt done it in the past. Having to deal with all the other issues you are dealing with...no wonder you are feeling overwhelmed. I hope the day got better for you and that you somehow find strength to get you through this time. I know sometimes I have to dig really deep. Biggest *HUGS*

Lorelle

[daisy16 1]

aw honey, big hugs. You sounded swamped and overwhelmed.

It sounds like you need some you time, do something for yourself for a few hours - take a walk, a bath, go to a good movie, whatever makes ya smile and relax.

You gave the best advice possible to your friend, btw. You DON'T need her drama and you DO need her to take care of you for a change, that's what friends do - the give and take thing. And if she's not there for you, she ain't such a good friend.

As to your son, I think you're on the right track and him going off to his dad's for a few days will give you both time to breathe and give you time to figure out what to do with your changing relationship. You are dealing with a special relationship there. He lives with you and you aren't his maid. Think of him as a sort of room mate. He wants to be treated like an adult even if he doesn't act like one sometimes! A lot of teens are so focused on themselves they have no clue as to what's going on with others around them. He probably has no idea that you are feeling hurt about his behaviour, let alone all of the other difficulties you are dealing with.

Some suggestions - Get him to do his laundry and you do your own. Half the stress is trying to get him to help you! Well, save yourself some aggravation and stop bugging him. Offer to show him how to do his own laundry. You'll also teach him a valuable life skill! I did something similar with my son when he was about 16 and it was a huge weight off.

As for his room, close the bedroom door so you don't have to see it. It's his mess, and he ultimately has to clean up after himself. Again, cut your worries. He's going to be on his own eventually so again, let him figure out his own cleaning standards. They go through huge changes between 15 and 25, truly he'll get cleaner as he ages, he's got your standards burned in his brain, but other things are in the way right now. Make the rule that the rest of the house has to be kept clutter free and he can go crazy in his room. If he leaves stuff lying around in the living room, scoop it up and pack it away and once he misses stuff, you can have the talk. He'll get the message, and there's less confrontation.

If he won't do the dishes, stop cooking for him. Cook and clean up after yourself, and let him fend for himself. He can exhange food for cleaning up, or go without. Trust me, he WON'T starve.

As for the bathroom, I don't know if you'll ever win on that one. Give him a choice, like bathroom or garbage. Or if he does the garbage you'll do the bathroom. That way he'll feel like he's won that issue, and you don't have to do the garbage. If he doesn't do the garbage, then you won't do X for the next week. You get the idea. Your goal is to take the pressure off of you having to bug him to do stuff without you having to do the chores.

Hope things get better

[Jaylen Brit 1]

*hugs* to you Lynne

I know about the loss thing - in a month it'll the 2nd yr anniversary since my dad died (the day BEFORE my mom's birthday) - but he's not suffering any more which is good, and I will cherish his memory forever because he was a huge positive influence on my life - he belived in me and that gives me great strength.

Im sure you draw the same from memories of your mom and what a strong, confident woman she must have been to produce daughters such as you and your sisters.