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Rob and Melinda

Period of Adjustment

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I am sure that Melinda and I are not the only ones going through a "Period of Adjustment" as she has finally made it here to our home in America.

I think it would be helpful for those of us who finally have our spouses here with us, to share the difficulties in adjusting to the new marriage, the language dificulties, understanding each other, how you work through problems and what the benefits are of sticking together and working through all the problems couples go through when they are first re-united in the US.

Melinda and I have already been through many, many times of missunderstanding, dissagreements, anger, pride, being humbled, saying "I'm sorry", admitting fault, compromising, and then always continuing to love each other.

How about you? What are your stories, and how do you work things out? Hopefully all of us are not giving up just because at times it is hard.

We can tell you that working through all those problems and always coming back together and continuing to love each other, is such a blessing and so fulfilling. It is what make the marriage so satisfying and what makes life so wonderful.

Rob and Melinda


I-129F

Filed New I-129F form with IMBRA June 19, 2006

NOA 1 June 26, 2006

Touched July 3, 2006

I-129F Approved by E mail August 21, 2006, Just 63 Days

NOA 2 for I-129F Received in the Mail August 26th, 2006

I-129F at NVC

Case Number assigned at NVC August 29, 2006 MNL2006XXXXXXXXX

NVC sends the I-129F to the Manila Embassy August 29th, 2006

Embassy in Manila Receives I-129F August 31st, 2006

Packet 4 Received by Melinda from Manila Embassy October 1, 2006

Interview at Us Embassy Manila, October 18, 2006

Visa Approved! Interview Completed.

Visa Delivered by DELBROS October 28th, 2006

October 30, 2006 Arrived back in LAX with Melinda, were going to Disneyland!!!

November 6th, 2006, Melinda and I are back home in Winslow Arizona loving Life!

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Italy
Timeline

The biggest things couples face is the adjustment...not only to the marriage itself...but to the fact that your spouse left everything behind to be with you. One of the things I had told my then fiancee is that "I never want you to throw it in my face that you left everything behind to be with me". He has done it a few times...and even threatened at the beginning to go home to Italy. As couples, you have to be willing to listen to each other and let the other have their chance to talk. Yelling doesn't solve anything...and my husband has learned that I will not respond to yelling. When my husband arrived here...I was already living by myself for 20 years..he was still living with his mom and dad. I have 7 brothers and sisters...he is an only child. He was used to having things done for him.....for getting his own way. I had to show him that marriage was about equally dividing household chores...and that he can very well do that for himself. It was truly hard for me...growing up in a big family that you HAD to share and you HAD to do chores, and you HAD to have responsibility. Couples have to learn to take their arriving spouse by the hand and show them that you care deeply for them...and that no matter what you will have disagreements and misunderstandings...but you will be able to work through them if you both give it a chance. My husband and I will be married for 3 years next month...and although we have had many ups and downs...we have certainly have had more ups than downs...and I could not imagine my life without him. Communicate with each other....and never leave the house or go to bed mad....those are my words of the day.


Joyce

2/10/04 - interview date!!!!!!!Got Visa!!!!

3/11/04 - Massimo arrived in USA...Hurray!!!

4/25/04 - Happily Married in New Jersey

5/12/04 - starting AOS papers

5/17/04 - Mailed I-485, 131, (certified mail) to Newark

7/12/04 - Biometrics for AOS done in NYC

2/1/05 - received interview letter for May 16, 2005

5/16/05 - Successful (and fast) AOS interview in Cherry Hill!!!

I751

3/1/07 - mailed I751 package to VSC - regular mail

3/7/07 - cashed 205.00 check

3/9/07 - cashed 70.00 biometrics check

3/16/07 - received blue receipt notice for biometrics fee

3/24/07 - received NOA extending GC for another year

3/24/07 - received Biometrics appointment letter

4/6/07 - Biometrics appointment in Newark at 9am

4/7/07 - touched

4/11/07 - touched

9/28/07 - email received...Card production ordered!

10/4/07 - received congratulations letter in the mail

10/09/07 - 10 year green card received

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: France
Timeline

I have to say that we are blessed - we met in Germany, so we started our relationship in a language that was foreign to both of us. It is very hard to argue when you really have to think before you can say something. It allows God to slip in before you say something you might regret, and you tend to do a better job of cutting to the chase and really explaining what you aren't happy with.

Also, I lived in France for a couple of years, so for my wife to be here she has less of the feeling to have given up her home for me. We don't think we will stay here forever either, we've talked of eventually settling in Geneva or Sao Paolo or somewhere after I finish my graduate degree.

I find my self more "Francophile" now that I live in the USA again. When I was in France, I pined for the deep south....

One other positive, I now speak her language and can completely communicate with her family.

Luckily, the holy spirit doesn't need language :)


I-130 to Nebraska

Received: Nov 15th 06

NOA1 : Nov 21st 06

Touch: Nov 27th

RFE: Feb 12 07

NOA2 : Mar 1st 07

I-129f to Chicago (for K-3)

Received: Nov 30th

NOA1 : Dec 5th

Touch: Dec 12th

Transfered to CSC : Dec 13th

NOA 2 : Mar 1st 07

NVC sends package to Paris: March 6th

Package 3 arrives: March 23rd

Interview date: June 13

Visa Received: June 20th

AOS and EAD

Mailed EAD: July 9th

Check cashed for EAD: July 17th

Card Production Ordered: Nov 6th

Card Received: Nov 15th

Green Card Interview: Dec 6th

Approved!: Dec 6th

Fougere's Music Thoughts

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Jamaica
Timeline

My husband and I have known each other going on 6 years. We were best friends for the first 4 years and then bacame a couple. When you are on vacation together it is so different. Everything is nice and pleasant. But the old saying "you don't know someone until you live with them" I think holds true for most of us.

One main issue is that some phrases have an entirely different meaning and unless we explain ourselves it turns into a disagreement. Communication is a must. Explanations are a must.

We are working through it. We have to be understanding of each other. I must admit he puts up with me and my moods a lot better that I do.

My husband is wonderful. He lets me blow and doesn't take it personally.

No relationship is perfect. It takes a lot of work, hard work. In the end it is all worth it.

I wouldn't trade this for anything..


WE ARE DONE!!!

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Filed: Lift. Cond. (pnd) Country: Peru
Timeline

As cliche as it sounds, it definitely works for us: Laughter is the best medicine.

Luis and I have our "discussions", but when all is said and done...emotions are calm...we almost always have a good laugh over what just happened. Because usually, our arguments are ridiculous. Fortunately, we are both able to recognize that and move on.

Learn to separate the important things from the "small stuff". This is crucial.

We say "I love you" several times a day, and we MEAN IT.

We went through this nearly unbearable immigration nightmare to be together, and every time we look at each other, we are reminded why... (L)(L)(L)


ONE DAY AT A TIME....

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS

12/30/2008: Overnighted I-751 package to VSC

01/06/2009: Check cashed

01/06/2009: NOA (arrived 01/09/09)

01/23/2009: Biometrics appt letter received

01/31/2009: Biometrics scheduled

05/20/2009: APPROVED

06/23/2009: 10 Year Green Card arrived

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As cliche as it sounds, it definitely works for us: Laughter is the best medicine.

Luis and I have our "discussions", but when all is said and done...emotions are calm...we almost always have a good laugh over what just happened. Because usually, our arguments are ridiculous. Fortunately, we are both able to recognize that and move on.

Learn to separate the important things from the "small stuff". This is crucial.

We say "I love you" several times a day, and we MEAN IT.

We went through this nearly unbearable immigration nightmare to be together, and every time we look at each other, we are reminded why... (L)(L)(L)

My thoughts exactly!! :content::wub:


K1 Journey:

April 13/06 NOA1 from NSC

June 1/06 - Moved to CSC

August 12/06 APPROVED - NOA2!!

August 28/06 Left NVC. . . Vancouver Bound!

September 27/06 Interview APPROVED, with visa in hand

October 29/06 Moving Date

December 30/06 Married!!

AOS Journey:

January 16/07 Sent out AOS, EAD, and AP docs

January 23/07 NOA1's for AOS, EAD and AP

February 13/07 Biometrics in Portland, OR

April 7/07 EAD and AP Received

April 24/07 Interview Scheduled . . . and APPROVED, stamp and all!

May 7/07 Greencard is in my hands!

ROC Journey:

February 17/09 Sent I-751 to CSC

February 18/09 NOA1

March 14/09 Biometrics appt.

April 22/09 Date of Approval!!

June 25/09 Greencard arrives in the mail!

*Everything I post is just my .02 cents, seek a lawyer for anything beyond that.*

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Very well said TracyLuis!


K1

September 15 - 2005: NOA1

October: Waiting

November: Waiting

December: In Security checks

January 2006: Waiting

February: Waiting..Contacted Congress

March 4th: APPROVED

March 17th: NVC posted file to London

March 20th: London Receives file

March 29th: Receive package 3

April 13th: London Receives package

April 19th: Medical - June 13th: INTERVIEW......APPROVED!!!!

June 20th: ARRIVE IN USA

Time taken for whole process 9 Months

~~~~~ * ~~~~~

AOS

October: 13th: Sent off AOS Package

November 3rd: NOA1

November 14th: Snail mail ~ NOA1 ~ Case moved to the CSC for faster processing.

November 14th : CSC has petition for me and my daughter.

December 14th: Biometrics completed.

January 17th: APPROVED AOS!

January 22nd: Green card arrives in the mail:))

Time taken for AOS - 3.5 Months

Finished for 2 years.

dev015pb___.png

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Filed: Country: Jamaica
Timeline
As cliche as it sounds, it definitely works for us: Laughter is the best medicine.

Luis and I have our "discussions", but when all is said and done...emotions are calm...we almost always have a good laugh over what just happened. Because usually, our arguments are ridiculous. Fortunately, we are both able to recognize that and move on.

Learn to separate the important things from the "small stuff". This is crucial.

We say "I love you" several times a day, and we MEAN IT.

We went through this nearly unbearable immigration nightmare to be together, and every time we look at each other, we are reminded why... (L)(L)(L)

I agree completely.

Our biggest issue has been family and friends left behind in Jamaica. We've had to sort out what were urgent issues and what are BS and, in the end, remember that we need to constantly work on being us and leave the rest of the stress far behind.


Life's just a crazy ride on a run away train

You can't go back for what you've missed

So make it count, hold on tight find a way to make it right

You only get one trip

So make it good, make it last 'cause it all flies by so fast

You only get one trip

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Filed: K-3 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

Hey some great feedback so far, hope we get many more interesting stories.

Rob and Melinda


I-129F

Filed New I-129F form with IMBRA June 19, 2006

NOA 1 June 26, 2006

Touched July 3, 2006

I-129F Approved by E mail August 21, 2006, Just 63 Days

NOA 2 for I-129F Received in the Mail August 26th, 2006

I-129F at NVC

Case Number assigned at NVC August 29, 2006 MNL2006XXXXXXXXX

NVC sends the I-129F to the Manila Embassy August 29th, 2006

Embassy in Manila Receives I-129F August 31st, 2006

Packet 4 Received by Melinda from Manila Embassy October 1, 2006

Interview at Us Embassy Manila, October 18, 2006

Visa Approved! Interview Completed.

Visa Delivered by DELBROS October 28th, 2006

October 30, 2006 Arrived back in LAX with Melinda, were going to Disneyland!!!

November 6th, 2006, Melinda and I are back home in Winslow Arizona loving Life!

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: India
Timeline
I am sure that Melinda and I are not the only ones going through a "Period of Adjustment" as she has finally made it here to our home in America.

I think it would be helpful for those of us who finally have our spouses here with us, to share the difficulties in adjusting to the new marriage, the language dificulties, understanding each other, how you work through problems and what the benefits are of sticking together and working through all the problems couples go through when they are first re-united in the US.

Melinda and I have already been through many, many times of missunderstanding, dissagreements, anger, pride, being humbled, saying "I'm sorry", admitting fault, compromising, and then always continuing to love each other.

How about you? What are your stories, and how do you work things out? Hopefully all of us are not giving up just because at times it is hard.

We can tell you that working through all those problems and always coming back together and continuing to love each other, is such a blessing and so fulfilling. It is what make the marriage so satisfying and what makes life so wonderful.

Rob and Melinda

hello,

well i still have a long way to united states but i guess i wont have much prob coz my husband is a patient one ( touchwood ) and me an impatient one

me and my husb are culturally and professionally same

i might have only problem in doing all my work myself

coz in my country its very feasibble to keep servants and all but not there in america so that will be my major adjustment issue i guess..

rest adjustment issue til date isnt a prob coz i talk to my husb 3-4 hrs whole day in yahoo messenger so we both never had any issues with ourselves as such though i keep pissing him sumtimes how long i have to wait etc..

rest i will keep posted when i am in america ..

good luck to you both rob and melinda ,

regards,

mala


india.gifusa.gif

NVC:

03/14/2007-NVC ASSIGNS CASE NUMBER

03/29/2007-AOS FEE BILL AND DS-3032 GENERATED

03/29/2007-AOS FEE BILL FEES MAILED AND DS-3032 MAILED

04/03/2007-NVC ACKNOWLEDGES CHOICE OF AGENT

04/10/2007-I.V FEE BILL GENERATED

04/18/2007-I-864 GENERATED

04/20/2007-I.V. BILL RECEIVED & MAILED TO N.V.C

04/23/2007-I-864 SENT TO NVC

04/26/2007-I.V. FEE BILL & I-864 ENTERED INTO THE NVC SYSTEM

04/30/2007-NVC BARCODE & INSTRUCTIONS FOR DS-230

05/09/2007-DS-230 SENT

05/23/2007-CASE COMPLETED

VISA APPROVED .

05/XX/2007-FLIGHT To JFK POE

another step of I-751 coming near :)

p.s. My opinion is only what i read research and get advices from experienced people.I aint any

lawyer .

.png

Namastey !

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

One of mine & hubby's tools is to remind ourselves that we are watching each other's backs and on each other's sides. We both had marraiges previously where our spouses were looking out for #1 and completely selfish, it's a trap we don't want to fall into. Every discussion we have we communicate that to each other... I am 100% behind you, I have your back on this one. I am on your side. We don't want to ever be in a situation where we are on opposite sides. Going to bed each night with the one person who "gets you" and who is on your side is a beautiful thing. That's the way we both want to keep it for our whole lives.


AOS:

2007-02-22: Sent AOS /EAD

2007-03-06 : NOA1 AOS /EAD

2007-03-28: Transferred to CSC

2007-05-17: EAD Card Production Ordered

2007-05-21: I485 Approved

2007-05-24: EAD Card Received

2007-06-01: Green Card Received!!

Removal of Conditions:

2009-02-27: Sent I-751

2009-03-07: NOA I-751

2009-03-31: Biometrics Appt. Hartford

2009-07-21: Touched (first time since biometrics) Perhaps address change?

2009-07-28: Approved at VSC

2009-08-25: Received card in the mail

Naturalization

2012-08-20: Submitted N-400

2013-01-18: Became Citizen

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

I've had my share of bad days. Adjusting to the marriage and the little discussions and adapting to each other's habits would have come even if we were from the same country, but I've had really crappy days when adjusting to his country. There are days I just want to cry, I miss my family and sometimes I don't want to go see his parents 'cus I resent the fact that he can see them whenever he wants. I feel very lonely 'cus I have no friends and he works so much we don't have much time together, and when he's home he's tired and wants to stay in the house and I can't wait to get out of the house since I'm stuck in here all day by myself, just cooking and doing chores. To aggravate my situation I'm not in US but in PR, and although I am fluent in English, my Spanish is horrible, and I feel limited to do things on my own 'cus I can't communicate very well, and when I do try people look at me like I'm some sort of freak which makes me even more embarrassed (I'm brazilian so I look local, so a local that can't speak Spanish would be a freak).

All of those little things really put me down and I feel like a loser. I'm a bachelor in law but my diploma means nothing here. I have no work experience since I was living with parents before moving here and had just finished my studies. Now my GC is coming and still, my spanish is not very good and I have no prospects of finding a job any time soon which will continue to reinforce my loneliness and lack of friends and lack of ability to adjust. I always adjusted well to new situations but now it seems the ladder is too high to climb. I want to study something so I can get a new chance of a diploma that will be worth something, so I can practice my spanish and so I can make friends but we can't afford it.

I know this will pass eventually but I catch myself wishing we had moved to Brazil instead of here.


(Puerto Rico) Luis & Laura (Brazil) K1 JOURNEY
04/11/2006 - Filed I-129F.
09/29/2006 - Visa in hand!

10/15/2006 - POE San Juan
11/15/2006 - MARRIAGE

AOS JOURNEY
01/05/2007 - AOS sent to Chicago.
03/26/2007 - Green Card in hand!

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS JOURNEY
01/26/2009 - Filed I-751.
06/22/2009 - Green Card in hand!

NATURALIZATION JOURNEY
06/26/2014 - N-400 sent to Nebraska
07/02/2014 - NOA
07/24/2014 - Biometrics
10/24/2014 - Interview (approved)

01/16/2015 - Oath Ceremony


*View Complete Timeline

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I've had my share of bad days. Adjusting to the marriage and the little discussions and adapting to each other's habits would have come even if we were from the same country, but I've had really crappy days when adjusting to his country. There are days I just want to cry, I miss my family and sometimes I don't want to go see his parents 'cus I resent the fact that he can see them whenever he wants. I feel very lonely 'cus I have no friends and he works so much we don't have much time together, and when he's home he's tired and wants to stay in the house and I can't wait to get out of the house since I'm stuck in here all day by myself, just cooking and doing chores. To aggravate my situation I'm not in US but in PR, and although I am fluent in English, my Spanish is horrible, and I feel limited to do things on my own 'cus I can't communicate very well, and when I do try people look at me like I'm some sort of freak which makes me even more embarrassed (I'm brazilian so I look local, so a local that can't speak Spanish would be a freak).

All of those little things really put me down and I feel like a loser. I'm a bachelor in law but my diploma means nothing here. I have no work experience since I was living with parents before moving here and had just finished my studies. Now my GC is coming and still, my spanish is not very good and I have no prospects of finding a job any time soon which will continue to reinforce my loneliness and lack of friends and lack of ability to adjust. I always adjusted well to new situations but now it seems the ladder is too high to climb. I want to study something so I can get a new chance of a diploma that will be worth something, so I can practice my spanish and so I can make friends but we can't afford it.

I know this will pass eventually but I catch myself wishing we had moved to Brazil instead of here.

Awww Laura I think the experience you shared here is so common among those that immigrate. But you seem so aware of why you are feeling what you are feeling , that I am sure this will help you adjust much quicker than most. I wish you the best! (F)


erfoud44.jpg

24 March 2009 I-751 received by USCIS

27 March 2009 Check Cashed

30 March 2009 NOA received

8 April 2009 Biometric notice arrived by mail

24 April 2009 Biometrics scheduled

26 April 2009 Touched

...once again waiting

1 September 2009 (just over 5 months) Approved and card production ordered.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline

Thanks. I'm just having a bad day. We've been stressed out these past couple of days wishing our situation was better than it is. We're both just out of the parents's house and starting together and it's our slap in the face of financial situation and learning to live with less.


(Puerto Rico) Luis & Laura (Brazil) K1 JOURNEY
04/11/2006 - Filed I-129F.
09/29/2006 - Visa in hand!

10/15/2006 - POE San Juan
11/15/2006 - MARRIAGE

AOS JOURNEY
01/05/2007 - AOS sent to Chicago.
03/26/2007 - Green Card in hand!

REMOVAL OF CONDITIONS JOURNEY
01/26/2009 - Filed I-751.
06/22/2009 - Green Card in hand!

NATURALIZATION JOURNEY
06/26/2014 - N-400 sent to Nebraska
07/02/2014 - NOA
07/24/2014 - Biometrics
10/24/2014 - Interview (approved)

01/16/2015 - Oath Ceremony


*View Complete Timeline

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