Wife abandoned in foreign country, need serious help please!

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

I was thinking this. Are there military lawyers whom you could consult?

There might be but i think it is best to find a forum for VA wives or army wives and reach out to them about her situation. They would be more helpful than to first go to a lawyer since she is outside the US (I'm assuming OP is still in Spain)and if money is an issue. OP needs to find out what benefits are there before investing the little money OP has in this battle.

First place to reach is Facebook...do the dirty research work, i am sure there are groups like that on Facebook . You will find a couple if OP is willing to do the work.

OP should findout all OP needs to know about getting what OP deserves, then decide whether to get a lawyer.

If OP is trying or wants to work things out then reporting OPs hubby to IRS might not help.

OP can request tax transcript on irs.gov with her SSN to see what's being going on aside that, OP can't report a fraud just because he asked for OPs SSN

[Rebuilt 9]

You were eligible to file for citizenship way back in 2007. Doing so would have avoided all of this.

I know that now

At the time I honestly didn´t even think about it. I was so blinded by my husband, he truly was the love of my life, I never marry him for immigration benefits (obviously!) or any other benefits for that matter, and was so focused in building a beautiful life next to him that totally forgot about any paperwork. I sincerely always thought that my PGC was like some sort of passport for foreigners and that once I got it it would just be valid as such for the duration of its validity. I thought all the ties I needed were represented it by my husband, and he never told me otherwise

[Rebuilt 9]

Reach out the VA or other VA wives, there's got to be some benefits you could be entitled while you sort out the immigration part.

No one can make him reason and work things out with you but him. He has to be willing to do that himself and it doesn't look like he is at the point yet.if i were you, i would build my life over there where you have family.nothing is absolutely promised when you move here.

But i dont want you to give up trying for the fact that you were together for 12 whole years!!

You've done a good job surviving up to this point, i have no doubt you can go further.Just don't put too much energy into getting retribution while putting your life in a standstill.

There might be but i think it is best to find a forum for VA wives or army wives and reach out to them about her situation. They would be more helpful than to first go to a lawyer since she is outside the US (I'm assuming OP is still in Spain)and if money is an issue. OP needs to find out what benefits are there before investing the little money OP has in this battle.

First place to reach is Facebook...do the dirty research work, i am sure there are groups like that on Facebook . You will find a couple if OP is willing to do the work.

OP should findout all OP needs to know about getting what OP deserves, then decide whether to get a lawyer.

If OP is trying or wants to work things out then reporting OPs hubby to IRS might not help.

OP can request tax transcript on irs.gov with her SSN to see what's being going on aside that, OP can't report a fraud just because he asked for OPs SSN

I will try to do that too. You know what´s the worst part about this? That right now, he´s being so completely brainwashed and out of his mind that he´s putting me as the crazy psycho wife who made life impossible to him to the point he had to run away in despair. All of it being completely untrue. I gave everything I had for this man then some more, I always supported him emotionally and financially. Granted after years our marriage got a bit stalled, but I never thought he would do something like this to me. It´s not just the fact of cheating, but the way he did it, the way he lied to me and manipulate me into believing him, until the very last day. My parents treated him like a son when his own family wouldn´t care at all if he lived or die. My parents came up with the money anytime it was needed, and he just would not reciprocate with a sane attitude towards the family. Yes, economy was and is very hard in Spain, but also there never was on his part any intent to make things better. On top of that, he´s an ace at pulling the victim´s card, that´s all he has done his entire life from where I´ve come to gather in the past weeks, he´s been a liar and a manipulator for his own advantage, yet here he stands, with that false image of upstanding veteran who bled for his country. Nobody knows his dark side, nobody knows what kind of treachery, humiliation and pain he´s caused to the ones who were always there to help him on his darkest times.

I´m utterly devastated over this low blow, and I don´t know if I ever will be able to recover from the emotional scars of his abandonment. He was in my eyes the most honest and loyal person I thought I met in my life. I was in for a rude awakening

[Rebuilt 9]

I was thinking this. Are there military lawyers whom you could consult?

The problem being, I´m in Spain with barely any money. I need to pretty much rebuild my entire life after the loss of my husband and start from scratch

If you turned in your greencard to the U.S. embassy in Spain, you would be allowed to travel to the U.S. on VWP, Right?

At least that gave you some time to see where things with your husband are and if it looks like your marriage can be saved, you can apply for a souses visa to come back here permanently.

The visa would take time but it would give you the chance to travel again.

I didn´t turn it on, they gave it back to me. And at this point, even though I haven´t given up on my marriage, I honestly cannot have much faith on it either. I truly need a miracle happening in my husband´s head

[aaron2020 11,651]

Hi Juani,

What do you want? Do you want to live and work in the US? Do you plan to stay and live in Spain?

If your husband is fraudulently signing your name (either with a paper filing or electronic filing), you need to contact the IRS. If he is shady with his taxes, you could get dragged into his mess.

[mallafri76 1,012]

A colleague of mine from Denmark used to be married to a USC and lived in the US for many years. They have two kids together (not sure if that plays in to what happened to her?!). She never filed for US citizenship because back then, Denmark didn't allow dual citizenship and she didn't wanna loose her Danish citizenship. Once she and her USC husband divorced, she moved back to Denmark with their two kids and have been living there ever since. Last year, she went back with her kids to visit her ex-husband and have a little vacation. CBP stopped her at the border and said that she had been out of the country for too long and they took her to second screening. She got interviewed by a supervisor, got the choice of giving up her GC or pay a fine. She paid the fine, signed a paper, kept her GC/LPR status and was on her way with her vacation...

Since the embassy gave you back your GC, I say travel to the US and see what CBP says. If the embassy truly felt that you had abandoned your LPR, it seems odd that they would give you back your GC. I mean if you want to move back to the US because that's where your home is now, I think you should try and see what CBP says. Good luck!

[Rebuilt 9]

Hi Juani,

What do you want? Do you want to live and work in the US? Do you plan to stay and live in Spain?

If your husband is fraudulently signing your name (either with a paper filing or electronic filing), you need to contact the IRS. If he is shady with his taxes, you could get dragged into his mess.

Of course I want to live and work in the US. I have been in Spain because of my family problems and my ignorance, but we always had plans to go back to the States. I managed to complete my studies and courses and never intended to be a burden on my husband or the government. I would take any job I could get and I want to solve my issues with the IRS as well.

As for my husband, he has no idea of the mess and damage this woman will put him through. And that´s a fact, time will prove me right.

[Rebuilt 9]

A colleague of mine from Denmark used to be married to a USC and lived in the US for many years. They have two kids together (not sure if that plays in to what happened to her?!). She never filed for US citizenship because back then, Denmark didn't allow dual citizenship and she didn't wanna loose her Danish citizenship. Once she and her USC husband divorced, she moved back to Denmark with their two kids and have been living there ever since. Last year, she went back with her kids to visit her ex-husband and have a little vacation. CBP stopped her at the border and said that she had been out of the country for too long and they took her to second screening. She got interviewed by a supervisor, got the choice of giving up her GC or pay a fine. She paid the fine, signed a paper, kept her GC/LPR status and was on her way with her vacation...

Since the embassy gave you back your GC, I say travel to the US and see what CBP says. If the embassy truly felt that you had abandoned your LPR, it seems odd that they would give you back your GC. I mean if you want to move back to the US because that's where your home is now, I think you should try and see what CBP says. Good luck!

My heart truly wants me to take the risk, I need to be heard by people directly involved (i.e. CBP or immigration judges). I do not have a current home in the US right now, aside from my husband´s and his friend´s house, which they will be leaving at the beginning of September. His friend will get an apartment closer to the VA and my dear husband will move in with this woman. I however have a very good friend who has offered me her house and is willing to help me with everything and I of course want to fight for my rights and not give up so easily.

I also need to know what kind of questions can I expect from CBP officers and how to address them. Having them call my husband it´s simply not an option right now, for he´ll do everything he can to have me kicked out for good.

I mean, I´m not a bad person, I might have a hot Spanish temper and I have said some bad things when I found out about my husband´s infidelity, but that´s it. He only gave me 10-15 minutes time to talk to me, after countless attempts to talk to him I had to resort to call him at his work, and after that night I was never able to talk to him again. I registered for our joint bank account, saw the debauchery and waste and took what little money was left, about $2.600. That´s all I got from my 11 year marriage. I´m not a thief, I´m not a drug dealer, I´m not a bad person, what could I expect? Are they going to put me in jail for trying to get some justice and the opportunity to rebuild my life after this blow?

[D.Ba 85]

Wouldn't it be your way then to find an employer and have him get you a work visa? If your skills are specialized that might be feasible?

Since it seems that your marriage isn't the future path.

Edited July 26, 2015 by D.Ba

[Rebuilt 9]

Wouldn't it be your way then to find an employer and have him get you a work visa? If your skills are specialized that might be feasible?

Since it seems that your marriage isn't the future path.

I wish it was that easy, but with my age and no previous experience on the field I highly doubt that´ll happen

Unfortunately it´s not that my skills are all that rare, so to speak. Basically I´m the bottom rank in the engine department, so I don´t think any employer would be willing to go through the trouble for somebody like me.

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Instead of focusing on going to America why not focus on what you can do to make your life better in Spain? Or perhaps another country in the EU as you can work anywhere in the EU? It sounds like your path to US residency at this point is that not a likely one.

[Rebuilt 9]

Instead of focusing on going to America why not focus on what you can do to make your life better in Spain? Or perhaps another country in the EU as you can work anywhere in the EU? It sounds like your path to US residency at this point is that not a likely one.

So it seems. I´m having serious emotional issues over this. I will have to just give up the hopes of seeing my husband face to face and actually sit down and talk things with him. You know what it means that, after 12 years of the most pure love, support and dedication to my husband and my marriage everything has to end in a 15 minutes conversation through Skype? He just chose the easy coward way, did it in the worst possible way, the most humiliating one, without any concerns for me, for the struggles he knew I was going through, I had to face the death of my father, my mother´s illness, the illness and death of our puppy (whom I hold as a four legged son), and he just ran away leaving everything behind, just to find an evil woman who will destroy him completely after squeezing everything from him. I´m an emotional wreck right now and just cannot see any light at the end of this tunnel, I gave him everything I had, and never asked him anything in return, just pure love and commitment that is gone down the drain and he never valued. I just feel empty and utterly devastated.

He´s not even allowing me to have any closure, and that´s the worst part of it. 12 years gone like that, like I never existed. It´s horrific.

Edited July 26, 2015 by Juani

[Transborderwife 4,666]

Perhaps some counselling would be beneficial. a counsellor may help you find the closure that you need without him. I agree that 12 years is a very long time that grief counselling could greatly help you. You need to find closure without him.

Edited July 26, 2015 by Transborderwife

[Boiler 43,433]

Perhaps some counselling would be beneficial. a counsellor may help you find the closure that you need without him. I agree that 12 years is a very long time that grief counselling could greatly help you. You need to find closure without him.

I agree your issues seem more in this category than any other and getting into the US and seeking a major confrontation with you husband, assuming you can find him, will not improve matters.

[Rebuilt 9]

I agree your issues seem more in this category than any other and getting into the US and seeking a major confrontation with you husband, assuming you can find him, will not improve matters.

Oh no, on the contrary, I will not be seeking major confrontation with him. I would be going to my friend´s house, I´m willing to give him time. But I also need the opportunity of being able to be with him again some day, and to protect him as I´ve once sworn 11 years ago. He will never come back to Spain, and by the time he realizes what this woman is up to, it´ll probably be too late. He might then suffer PTSD for real and who knows what his reaction can be.

I truly regret now not having filed for citizenship at its due time, I honestly never thought of it. Granted, I never thought that any of this would happen either

If only I could have a second chance, since there´s something I truly wanted. The fact of the matter was, I never married for benefits, and I could never think any of this would happen

Edited July 26, 2015 by Juani