32 year age gap - older American woman

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Just remember, this process is not about convincing yourself or your friends and family that your relationship is legitimate, it's convincing the US Consulate, which is a difficult entity to convince. That said, much like a case in court, it's not what you say, it's what you can prove. My advice, do the following:

Proof you met and communicate:

1. Save every text, every Skype conversation, every photo.

2. Save every receipt for gifts you send him. Also save receipts from your travels to Africa.

3. Send your letters via certified mail, so you have a record of your hand-written contact. Additionally save receipts from packages you send.

4. Save records of any money wire transfers.

5. Hopefully you took lots of pictures together with not only him, but his family as well.

6. When in doubt, save it!

Other Prep:

1. Make wedding plans. You don't need exact dates, but you should have an idea how you will get married: in a church, how many relatives, reception, etc.

2. Be certain he knows everything about you and your family. Including but not limited to, your parent's full names, their birthdays, your education, your job, what your house looks like and how many rooms it has, any pets, friends, other relatives/siblings, etc. C.O.s ask these kinds of questions.

3. Set aside money now for both the K-1 fees AND the AOS fees. Too many couples I see only plan the K-1 Fees and forget about having the fees for AOS. In addition there are also medical fees you need to plan for as well for both K-1 and AOS.

Interview:

1. Research online what questions they may ask at the interview.

2. Do a mock interview with him a day before the interview.

3. For the K-1 interview, I think it would be a great idea to schedule some vacation time so you can be at the embassy. Even though it's not necessary, it will look a whole lot better if you are there

Great advice on all points. I would however be careful with money transfers at Ghana embassy and not submit them.

A hall rental at your local church written up in a contract would be ok if you can cancel it without paying a dime due to the fact that

firm dates on weddings rarely pan out and people lose deposits. Tentatively planning on paper is good evidence.

I also totally agree on being there for the interview to show support and troubleshoot if something goes wrong.

[jessiepatt 7]

Man, this kind of info is invaluable! Thanks both of you very much.

Man, this kind of info is invaluable! Thanks both of you very much.

[jessiepatt 7]

My boss at work came from Japan, and insists NEVER, NEVER risk having a denied visa on your (my fiancé's) record, so since 80% of the posts insist we will be denied for our K1... Should I withdraw it before it goes to USCIS? Is a withdrawn petition just as bad as a denied one? We would either re-submit another K1, further down the road, or marry in Accra and submit a CR1 after more time and face time passes. Thoughts???

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

My boss at work came from Japan, and insists NEVER, NEVER risk having a denied visa on your (my fiancé's) record, so since 80% of the posts insist we will be denied for our K1... Should I withdraw it before it goes to USCIS? Is a withdrawn petition just as bad as a denied one? We would either re-submit another K1, further down the road, or marry in Accra and submit a CR1 after more time and face time passes. Thoughts???

You did already send the petition to USCIS, not sure what you mean " before it goes to USCIS." USCIS already has it.

Lets get technical about the lingo so you may be able to understand it better, only USCIS can deny a petition and only the consulate

can refuse to issue the visa.

If the reason is not enough evidence to convince the CO of a bona fide relationship then USCIS will let the returned petition expire and not deny it.

If the reason would be for a reason of willful misrepresentation of a material fact ( in other words someone blatantly lied on their petition and

K1 application) then USCIS can deny it.......denying it makes the whole thing a hard marker and that is something you definitely do not want.

BUT you guys just don't have enough evidence and therefore if everything else is answered truthfully and the documents are authentic, then

USCIS will NOT deny your returned petition but send you a letter after about 6 months that your petition is expired and that you

can re file "without prejudice".

You then don't have to wait 6 months to re file but can simply request your old petition to be administratively closed and send a short paragraph

along in your new petition, including a copy of your NOA2. You then also include a waiver request for being a multiple K1 filer and

just include it in your new petition. It's no big deal, sounds worse than it really is, it's just a simple request in one sentence and it will be granted.

If you file a CR1 then you don't have to include the waiver request.

Stick this out, go visit and bring a ton of evidence and be there for the interview and hope for the best.

I do NOT recommend that you withdraw the petition now. You never know if by chance the visa will be issued.

There should be no problem obtaining your NOA2 even with the meager evidence.

Many have been refused a K1 visa and many have been successful the second time around. It happens.

So in a nut shell, don't withdraw, keep on trucking and take a deep breath.

[jessiepatt 7]

You guys rock. THANK YOU!!! I'm breathing a sigh of relief and I really appreciate the great explanation, especially your clear technical definition, Eboluwa! ?????

[BaronB 42]

My honest opinion (which I understand is allowed here) is that you are being played for a fool. Having done business contracts in Africa I am equipped to notice how things operate there. Tread carefully. I hope you come back here and relate your success story but I have my doubts.

[jessiepatt 7]

You guys rock. THANK YOU!!! I'm breathing a sigh of relief and I really appreciate the great explanation, especially your clear technical definition, Eboluwa! ?????

(sorry, I meant Ebunoluwa)

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

You are welcome Jessiepatt.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

This is very much not true. I am 21 years older than my husband, I am divorced with 2 children, totally different culture, different religion. Age was NEVER an issue or ever mentioned throughout our entire journey. We never had any RFEs, petition was approved quickly, sailed through NVC and his interview was 7 months after NOA2. He has been here 2 and a half years, removed conditions without an rfe or interview and now he is preparing for citizenship in July. I wish people would stop with the nonsense, telling couples with a significant age gap with the woman being older that there is a a big chance they will be denied merely because she is older just is NOT true. Time and time again, over and over on this site we see these types of couples APPROVED. The consulate looks at the entire picture and no one can be denied based on age difference alone. We have yet to see a single couple ever denied for an age difference. The consulate wants to see an ongoing, bonafide relationship. If you don't have enough evidence to back up the relationship that reason for denial, not age.

well, you are not from Ghana so you wouldn't understand. My fiancé is a year younger than I and we hardly talk about age.

Age in African society means authority, respect, wisdom. The man is preferred to have those attributes so that he can lead his family.

Things are chaning and the younfer generation is beginnin to accept that "age is just a number" but a man's family can spin this around in a totally different direction.

[IcezMan_IcezLady 582]

Jessiepatt,

Ghana is a tough place but don't give up hope yet. If you haven't started K 1 yet then think about spousal visa also.

Do your research and understand the process. Don't ride along the "Good stories" too much.

If you can't make frequent visits to Ghana ( i know it is expensive! !), you, your daughter and him can meet in one o those commonwealth countries that allow member states visa-free entry for 30 to 90 days.

Nothing is impossible. Pm me if you have questions.

[robinanis 77]

We have a 28 yr age gap. I am a U.S.citizen,I knew my husband 18 mo before we met face to face.we in fb, I stayed nearly 3 months in his country , I arrived jan30 2014.we married march 3 /2014, I submitted all evidence of bonafide relationship to USCIS and approved, the down side..at interview feb2015, he was questioned like a criminal and laughed at by the CO for our age gap and was denied.now we are in administrative processing.I don't want to put a damper on things. But plz be prepared

[Beverrlly 7]

i hope this doesn't offend you, but i swear, every time i read of cases like this, i think of Dani and Mohammed off 90 DF... please please please protect yourself first!

Me too! As unrealistically as it portrayed this process, I watched every episode!

90DF = a tv show called 90 Day Fiancé about couples going through k1.

[icechamp31 11]

Immigration aside if somebody you knew said they just got engaged to somebody they had known for 3 days what would you say?

And the add in everything else.

So what do you expect the Consulate to think.

Much easier than taking a boat across the Mediterranean.

My fiance and I got unoficially engaged over the phone and officially engaged 4 days after we met, when I visited him. That was in 2012. However he returned to Turkey in January of last year and we started the K-1 process in Sepetember so we had spent more time together in person before filing.

[Boiler 43,726]

Nobody is commenting on whether they can or can not marry.

[jessiepatt 7]

ok....so to YOU it could look like the classical scam story. BUT what if it ISN'T? WHAT IF these two are truely in love and accept each other unconditionally...like LOVE does??? Just because YOU are cynical, or skeptical...who are YOU to put your personal opinions out here to try to bring OP and husband down? Negativity is NOT what this website is about. VJ is about SUPPORTING others through their journey. WE are NOT the Embassy, and guess what? As of yet,,,,the Embassy workers ARE HUMANS still....(in the future who knows....) and they have hearts. They will see/feel their Love is genuine and will APPROVE them! We are here to HELP OP's and to promote Positivity and Acceptance. There is NO racism, or age-ism or any other -ism here. IF these two LOVE each other, and she decides she wants to marry from another country then that's HER business.

It's about RESPECT..."If you can't say anything nice, Don't say anything"

Nice comment. Very nice.

Edited May 31, 2015 by Ryan H