Random times or places you've become overwhelmed in America...

[Cam54 84]

Granted I am still struggling massively to settle in here and it been nearly a year but where are the most random place or times you've gotten overwhelmed and felt like just coming home? I just had a bizarre situation at a gas station where someone yelled at me for stopping behind them waiting for the pump to be free and it made me cry! Because I felt so utterly useless and like I still don't have a clue how anythig works here. Still haven't developed any decent friendships, scared I'm either gonna have to go back to the uk or just be miserable forever

[Cheryl-Hossein 25]

Adjusting to Los Angeles is difficult even if you're an American. I moved more than a decade ago from New York, and it took a good year or more before I even began to feel comfortable in my skin. The highway/driving culture is one of the more difficult things, especially if you're used to having easy public transportation. [As an aside, public transpo in LA works fine, but it's an acquired skill too.] And I don't understand why the person yelled at you for queuing up behind them. That's how you do it in LA if the pumps are full.

Are you working? Some of the first (and best) friends I made here were through people I met on the job. What are your hobbies? Do you like film? Film festivals always need volunteers. Join a group on MeetUp or the like. My husband just started working a couple of weeks ago, and I know meeting people who aren't also my friends has been great for him. There's a million things to do in LA, but you have to get out of the house. The public library has all kinds of free classes and crafty things. Take a class at a community college.

Have your spouse walk you through it all....they're your best instructor.

EDIT: I just saw that you're actually in Ojai, but most of my advice still applies -- get out of the house and don't be scared.

Edited November 14, 2014 by Cheryl-Hossein

[RM1987 3]

Granted I am still struggling massively to settle in here and it been nearly a year but where are the most random place or times you've gotten overwhelmed and felt like just coming home? I just had a bizarre situation at a gas station where someone yelled at me for stopping behind them waiting for the pump to be free and it made me cry! Because I felt so utterly useless and like I still don't have a clue how anythig works here. Still haven't developed any decent friendships, scared I'm either gonna have to go back to the uk or just be miserable forever

I know I haven't been here for as long as you (I only moved over in September) but the one place I can become quite overwhelmed is Walmart, crazy I know when it's just a supermarket but there seem to be rules as to which side you have your trolley (cart) and even though a lot of what we are shopping for is the same as back in the UK it's either called something different, is a different brand or packaged in a completely different way, it's not even important to get the same things but for some reason I often feel like bursting into tears after grocery shopping.

I hope things improve for you, I guess it is different for everyone and I hope you soon feel more settled to life in America

[Cam54 84]

Thanks for the replies, yeh I am working but my job is very stressful and very dog eat dog (I'm an assistant at a veterinary practice) and although I'm getting friendlier with a couple of people it seems a constant effort and not natural like friendships iv made in the past. I have people I can arrange stuff to do with but I miss the casualness of having a best friend

[E-N 48]

awww this makes me sad! It will get better I know it will. Step out in confidence and shine like you did in the UK, you will stand out and people will notice it. Don't give up!

[M and C 32]

I guess for me the challenge is driving along the freeway. I lived in the Bahamas before I moved here, so driving is very different here. It scares me to just exit the ramp to enter the freeway.

Hang in there...we all can do this!

[E-N 48]

my grandfather is from the Bahamas! Abaco! yes driving is quite different. You can do it!

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Awww, you poor thing! I can completely relate, but my overwhelming experiences were when I was living in the UK with hubby. I had a completely melt down in ASDA. I had been feeling really homesick and hubby thought, well, ASDA and Walmart are or were owned by the same folks so maybe it will help. Nope, I walked in all excited and it was NOTHING like a Walmart and I made it about 3 aisles in and hubby had to take me out of the store I was sobbing so hard. You'll be ok! It does take lots of time to feel like "HOME". And don't let the jerks get to you...they're everywhere!

[Nich-Nick 3,353]

After six years my husband is still frustrated by drive-thru windows. Not overwhelmed and he never wants to go back to England, but he wants to go inside to order. They don't understand his accent and he doesn't understand their rapid fire "doyouwantfrieswiththat" mixed with static.

[LORIEandPHIL 123]

After six years my husband is still frustrated by drive-thru windows. Not overwhelmed and he never wants to go back to England, but he wants to go inside to order. They don't understand his accent and he doesn't understand their rapid fire "doyouwantfrieswiththat" mixed with static.

I have been here just over a year, and I now never use drive-thru windows. The first couple of times I tried, it would have been quicker to go inside and just point at what I wanted.

[icv21 110]

After six years my husband is still frustrated by drive-thru windows. Not overwhelmed and he never wants to go back to England, but he wants to go inside to order. They don't understand his accent and he doesn't understand their rapid fire "doyouwantfrieswiththat" mixed with static.

I totally understand your husband!!! I've been coming here for 5 years and still can't understand what they say! Lucky me my husband is always the driver and orders but that will change once I'm allowed to drive.

I have never ever driven in my life and it worries me thinking I'll have to be alone in a car to go to work etc with so many trucks and big cars everywhere ughhhh.

But my biggest weakness is my accent!! I speak other 2 languages perfectly and didn't know English until I meet my husband I learned because of him, I can speak without problem BUT I have a heavy accent, and I pronounce some words weird lol my fault. people who is not use to speak to foreign people ( lots here in the south ) can't understand me, I have to repeat words sometimes even 5 times, spell them.... I get so overwhelmed when I talk and people make the blank face, I guess that will get better....... At least you all don't have that problem since English is your main language.

[Hotter Otter 1,211]

Granted I am still struggling massively to settle in here and it been nearly a year but where are the most random place or times you've gotten overwhelmed and felt like just coming home? I just had a bizarre situation at a gas station where someone yelled at me for stopping behind them waiting for the pump to be free and it made me cry! Because I felt so utterly useless and like I still don't have a clue how anythig works here. Still haven't developed any decent friendships, scared I'm either gonna have to go back to the uk or just be miserable forever

I have been here 4 months and have made one work friend that's about it, am pretty lonely at the moment too and I often feel like a fish out of water and things catch me off guard all the time. But things are getting better for me I think. If my wife hadn't been as amazing and supportive as she has I probably would have wanted to go home by now! If you feel the need to vent to somebody feel free to PM me.

Hang in there. Is your husband being supportive enough, accompanying you to places where you might make friends for example?

[Cody and Daisy 373]

I read topics like this a lot and genuinely surprised how different my experience here is to others.

Maybe it's because I used to live in America when I was younger or that I have family in other states or it just dosnt bother me, but I see this as my home just as much as the uk will always be.

Of course I miss my family like crazy but in not depressed here or struggling so it's hard for me to relate.

But if all the differences here my one and only fear that I know will tear me down is when I will finally be able to learn how to drive.

Having only sent my AOS pack yesterday I am still a few months away but the thought terrifies me.

The street signs are so different and some rules are bizarre. It's very worrying for me.

In some ways I know it'll be easier because I didn't drive in the uk because there was no need so it's learning something completely new.

My husband can't wait for me to be able to drive so he dosnt have to all the time.

And he is going to teach me too so I won't be having lessons.

It's intimidating.

That overwhelms me.

[Cam54 84]

My husband encouraged me to go out alot with his friends when I first moved here but unfortunately I just dont like them, theyre only really focused on getting drunk and theyre kind of disrespectful and immature so I would just feel worse hanging around with them. Iv been looking for some meet up groups or maybe sports groups but yet to find any that really spark my interest, i think because I found making friends in the UK so effortless Im struggling with the concept that I have to get out of my comfort zone n make it happen here, im very shy until I know someone well so its harder. I have a couple people here I like but they seem to already have their lives full and I dont want to keep pestering them. Wouldnt it be lovely if we could just bring all our friends over with us lol.

[cathy2904 97]

I agree, I never go to drive-thru windows. And I become overwhelmed anywhere that I have to make choices quickly: Subway, Panera, even Starbucks etc. I have to stand back until I have decided exactly what I want.

The friendship thing is still tough for me but I've been lucky because, although I fully expected to, I have never had a meltdown and wanted to go home

.