Waiting is definitely the hardest part...

[thatangela 134]

Waiting is tough for anyone. It's all perspective. I think, how luck someone is that they can see their SO once a day or week or month... I generally visit every two months for 3-4 days at a time.... Then I think, Oh man, look at all the people here that wait 6-12+ months to see their SO...

Honestly, I don't think it matters how often you can visit, the wait sucks. For me I think because you don't know how long the wait will be. I am so much better when I know how long so I can mentally prepare.

What do I do while waiting? I have a blog, I try to make sure I don't isolate myself too much alone, so I spend time with family and friends when I can. I try to keep a hobby so my mind is not so focused on immigration.... and I research immigration. I am on here all the time, I make lists of things that need to be done each step of the way. I personally am not planning a big wedding, but I think for many on a K-1 that could be a good time distraction?

I also volunteer. For me, anything that gets me away from feeling sorry for myself and sitting around being lonely helps (I live alone).

All of this (except for the volunteering part). Chiggins, share your blog URL with me. PM if you're shy. Mine are thatangela.ca and ourgreatescape.ca.

[thatangela 134]

It's cool seeing some of the ideas here - I really like the journal. I feel like it will be great for you to look back on when you are together. Until Vin moved from Montreal, we were doing a lot of Skype and facebook chats. I thought about starting a blog about the journey until we could live together, but he found a great opportunity to move closer and that was that. I do feel really lucky that he got a job offer.

To everyone who has decided that they want to have a "my life is worse" contest, you win! Sorry for posting, from now on I'll just stick to the FAQs.

You should still blog. It's a great way to thought dump.

It's so funny when people get their knickers all up in a knot after someone posts about their timeline, service centre or related situation. We all chose this path. We all entered this process knowing we would have to spend time waiting for paper pushers to push our papers.

Do you have to suck it up? Yep. So do I. I get to see my fiance only every other weekend so I'm throwing squinty dart eyes in your direction.

[LiliBurd 85]

Yay to a fellow Montrealer, or ex-Montreal I should say.

No matter how often you see each other, being apart is hard because your spouse is not in your regular day to day life like normal couples. We've been dating for over a year and got engaged in July we see each other every 2-3 months usually for a week to 10 days at a time. Coming back home is always difficult and it just no longer feels like home... but it wont be like that forever.

I guess like everyone said keeping busy with work and friends helps. I also plan for our 'unplanned wedding' gathering ideas and searching for venues that can be booked last minute. I've been wanting to start a scrapbook for just about 10 months now lol i'm a procrastinator I suppose. Every time we do something together my fiance gives me our tickets or our hotel room key and says ''Here for the scrapbook'' I actually think he's expecting me to do one I should get started!

Best of luck and stay busy!

[YamenWaad 45]

waiting is the worse part of this process, for you guys it's only 30 miles away, but for us it's 5600 miles.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

...and it's only been 2 months. Sorry if this is a silly post (or if it is in the wrong place - is there a "Waiting Forever" forum?), but what have others done to pass the time between K1 NOA1 and NOA2?

Vin and I live about 30 minutes from each other (Niagara Falls ON/Buffalo NY) so we can see each other every day, but man it would be nice to just live together.

I am not going to chime in on the whole situation you're making here (and everyone else!), Because I agree and disagree but my up front British opinions I don't think would help. And There is no place for that here.

But I do have a question.

How do you see each other every day? It may just be my naive mind of not really understanding.

But how? How is that possible?

[Not a Tailor 1,370]

People here seem to be obsessed with saying 'be grateful, it could be worse.' Don't worry, people will always be like that. This process stresses everyone out and makes everyone snippy.

There isn't a single person here who doesn't know that this process sucks for everyone. Whether it takes six months or twenty years (for some of the sibling categories), everyone here is aching to feel normal, for the time to pass faster, for the process to be something we can actually see passing. For me, that's the insult to the injury. You're waiting, waiting, but there's no progress bar. No notification that anything is moving forward. You just have to trust that your file hasn't fallen behind someone's desk and been lost.

You're just waiting for real life to begin.

For me, I've started ordering things I'll need for my real life, things that aren't worth moving (my move is further than yours, I'd imagine you can bring all your stuff). My wife and I stalk sales, watching for good deals online and snapping them up. We've got all the things my cat will need, sitting in her closet, except for the food.

We're planning several home improvement projects for the time period where I'm newly there and waiting for my ssn to be available, so I won't be able to job hunt yet and even for the days when job hunting is too depressing.

I'm planning out new decor for some parts of the apartment. I'm planning cat boardwalks to have near the ceiling all over the place.

Mostly, it's just planning. I'm terrible at blogging. I start them and wander off. We spend a lot of time talking about next steps. I've got nearly all my paperwork ready for the next stage.

[valverdeveslings 10]

For me, it was all mentality. I had to realize each day that I was not going to see my fiancée and that it can still be a good day anyway. That was hard for me to accept because after living with my fiancée for over a year, that was my normal and for about a month after having to leave I was still in that denial period where I refused to accept that we were apart. You have to accept the reality and then the time will pass faster.

I know this doesn't exactly apply to you but you can think of your in limbo living situation in this way. Yes it would be great if you were living in the same place, but you're not. How are you going to have good days anyway? Treasure the time you have with your SO, even though it is not as great as living together it is still time together! Before you know it you will be living together.

[Torete 121]

I am not going to chime in on the whole situation you're making here (and everyone else!), Because I agree and disagree but my up front British opinions I don't think would help. And There is no place for that here.

But I do have a question.

How do you see each other every day? It may just be my naive mind of not really understanding.

But how? How is that possible?

Niagara Falls, Ontario to Buffalo, NY...separated by a bridge and some traffic congestion.

[Cody and Daisy 373]

Niagara Falls, Ontario to Buffalo, NY...separated by a bridge and some traffic congestion.

That wasn't my question.

I am asking how you can visit another country so frequently.

What enables you to be able to do that?

[Lemonslice 4,555]

That wasn't my question.

I am asking how you can visit another country so frequently.

What enables you to be able to do that?

Some commute daily from country to country. Proximity makes it possible. It's common around many borders in the world.

Lived in France worked in Geneva myself for a while.

Edited October 16, 2014 by Boston~Montreal

[LiliBurd 85]

That wasn't my question.

I am asking how you can visit another country so frequently.

What enables you to be able to do that?

We share a pretty big border and many people go back and forth daily. We even have a program called nexus that allows Canadians and Americans that travel frequently to go through quickly and avoid waiting at the border or customs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NEXUS_(frequent_traveler_program)

Edited October 17, 2014 by LiliBurd

[Cody and Daisy 373]

We share a pretty big border and many people go back and forth daily. We even have a program called nexus that allows Canadians and Americans that travel frequently to go through quickly and avoid waiting at the border or customs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NEXUS_(frequent_traveler_program)

Wow, that's awesome.

Bet that makes things so much easier for a lot of people.

[nsolo 4]

To answer your question....just see each other on weekends and holidays. You can skype or facetime during work week.

While I do understand waiting for 2 months can be hard even in your situation, you should consider very lucky.

I am 8,254 miles away from my fiancee. If that's not bad enough, there is 13 1/2 hours time difference. To make the matter worse, internet connection in my fiancee country is not always good. Because of bad internet connection, I spend about 200 USD a month on pre-paid phone cards. On her side, she spends a lot of money for internet usage too.

While you can see your love one within 30 mins, Consider this.......I can only afford to see my love one once every three months for a week during each visit. Each day I only get to spend only about 3-4 hours a day since she works and can't get time off.

I spend at very least 2,000 USD on each trip (air tickets & hotel alone for a week stay). After my next trip before the end of the year, my vacation leave for year 2014 are gone.

...and it's only been 2 months. Sorry if this is a silly post (or if it is in the wrong place - is there a "Waiting Forever" forum?), but what have others done to pass the time between K1 NOA1 and NOA2?

Vin and I live about 30 minutes from each other (Niagara Falls ON/Buffalo NY) so we can see each other every day, but man it would be nice to just live together.

[señoracalavera 21]

It's cool seeing some of the ideas here - I really like the journal. I feel like it will be great for you to look back on when you are together. Until Vin moved from Montreal, we were doing a lot of Skype and facebook chats. I thought about starting a blog about the journey until we could live together, but he found a great opportunity to move closer and that was that. I do feel really lucky that he got a job offer.

To everyone who has decided that they want to have a "my life is worse" contest, you win! Sorry for posting, from now on I'll just stick to the FAQs.

I also miss my husband terribly and feel lonely at times.

To get through the wait

I decided to also write him letters. The old fashion snail mail. I hand write him letters and send him pictures of cool stuff and places. (having tangible things helps, emails are exciting but letters and packages are fun to get in them mail. ...he writes too)

We send each other cooking recipes to try out, (we just started to do this)

We also use facebook to post things of interest and are currently going through a foreign film animation phase, we´re watching all of Hayao Miyazaki films.

On my own I been exercising more and reading books that interest me, I have been decorating and cleaning out my apartment. I also use my time to share with friends, family.

As a result, we have more things to talk about ( other then the how was your day shpeal) when we skype.

Good luck !

[raven52 233]

You are so lucky on your waiting, my wife came from Cebu, Philippines. I traveled there 6 times after we met and were engaged, because I could not stay away from her. It took 10 months and 4 days from NOA1 to P.O.E. Atlanta, Ga., after traveling 8 total trips to the Phils. and over 10,000 miles each way, and 26-28 hours each way, but we do what we do for our loved ones!