Third World Fiances & Learning to Drive!

[Jon York 156]

Does anybody have any experience teaching a fiance from the third world how to drive? One who has never been in a car before? What's the best way to go about it? And, can they eventually become good drivers!?

[apple21 953]

I got stuck at "third world"...

[Cathi 5,610]

drivers ed

[Faycel and Renee 30]

I know that there are some people that have never been in a car and Im so sure that its quite confusing for them when they start seeing all the buttons and knobs and gadgets. Seriously though and I know it may sound crazy but I would seriously hand them a handful of quarters and get them on a simulated version of a car (the kind you find in a arcade) just to build up some confidence then enroll them in Drivers ed. LOL, this should help some.

[Jon York 156]

That's actually not a bad idea Faycel! I'm going to do that.

When I told her I wanted her to learn to drive as soon as she gets here, she's so not accustomed even to that kind of thinking that she said, "Why do I need to know how to drive? You can drive!" I mean, really no concept at all as to why anyone would need to know how to drive here. I tried to explain to her that in America you literally can't go anywhere without a car. You want to go to the store - you need a car. You want to pick the kids up at school - you'll probably need a car.

One time I sent her a picture of my street. I never know what she's going to find fascinating in these pictures because it's usually something I don't even notice. And she said, "Wow! there are so many cars parked on the street. But there are no bicycles!"

I sent her some videos from my car showing her what all the buttons do. And she's watched them several times so when she gets here she'll be somewhat familiar, at least with the concepts behind them.

But every time I get in the car and go somewhere it dawns on me how much we really have to know in order to drive safely. Not just about all the rules, but the instincts we have for knowing what other drivers are going to do and what situations could turn ugly fast. All of that seems like a LOT for someone to learn in a short period of time. But I guess she'll have to have a learner's permit for a year - which I now realize is a great idea!

We grew up riding in cars with our parents. And we knew a lot about cars and driving before we ever got behind the wheel. So this is all kind of scary that some day she'll get behind the wheel without all of that background.

[PearlyLemons 13]

Third world country? I think it's more politically correct to say developing world country....

Anyway, enroll her in a driver's ed course. They are a little pricey but it sounds as though she needs to learn the very basics of driving a vehicle. They are used to teaching beginners.

[fqadri 8]

HI Jon,

It would be a good idea to send her links to the NY DMV site learners permit. Get her accustomed and familiarize her with the law and regulations of the US. I know from experience that majority of people in Pakistan do not follow traffic laws.

Hope that helps.

[Jon York 156]

thanks FQADRI - good advice!

[Kumi and Drake 14]

Third world. Those words. But yeah, I came from a country where driving cars are more of a luxury than a necessity so I never learned it. My in-laws have been trying to teach me, especially my husband. But what they pointed it is, they're so accustomed to driving that they have developed bad driving habits, which they don't want me to pick up on. Maybe you could enroll her in a driving school (which is my plan too). And just teach her basics in a parking lot. I was scared of learning how to drive because I got so used to commuting, which is probably something that your fiance feels too. That's how they eased me into it. And when I got my learner's permit, I got a bit confident enough to just drive around the neighborhood while my husband still teaches me. Good luck!

[khwaidee1 196]

Do a search for a driving school with a teacher that speaks her language. I would suggest finding a local paper in her language (Urdu, Punjabi or Pashto I would suspect) and then look for ads for driving schools. That's we did in L.A. and the wife now has her driver's license. My wife now drives on her own just fine.

Edited February 6, 2014 by khwaidee1

[noncompute 9]

The best motivator is necessity. Let her come and see what it's like, she'll realize that she needs to do it. A couple weeks Driver's Education should cost a few hundred bucks and be sufficient.

[Jon York 156]

That's we did in L.A. and the wife now has her driver's license. My wife now drives on her own just fine.

Khwaidee1, good advice. Just curious - how long did it take for you to be comfortable with your wife's driving skills after she started driving?

I was scared of learning how to drive because I got so used to commuting, which is probably something that your fiance feels too. That's how they eased me into it. And when I got my learner's permit, I got a bit confident enough to just drive around the neighborhood while my husband still teaches me. Good luck!

Kumi, that's very interesting to hear this from your perspective! So, how long have you been driving so far?

[khwaidee1 196]

Khwaidee1, good advice. Just curious - how long did it take for you to be comfortable with your wife's driving skills after she started driving?

Kumi, that's very interesting to hear this from your perspective! So, how long have you been driving so far?

Hmmmm, let's see. I bought her a car last October. She practiced driving around the neighborhood by herself during day (after she had her driver's ed course of course). On the weekends I would let her drive us to the market, go shopping etc.I would say after about 4 months I am comfortable with where she's at now. She doesn't venture too far and is going a little bit further every day such as to the Vietnamese markets, Chinese market etc. Still not driving freeways although they took her on one during her drivers ed.

The one thing that surprised me was her learning her surroundings. Where we live there are housing tracts that are walled off from the main roads and all the streets for the most part run north/south east/west. Since everything looked the same she had no landmarks to navigate with like in her village and the city near her village. She is learning the streets now but, it surprised me that she needed landmarks initially to get around. She now drives to school during the morning commute (not bad just more cars) and does quite well.

[indiana_sweetie 120]

HI Jon,

It would be a good idea to send her links to the NY DMV site learners permit. Get her accustomed and familiarize her with the law and regulations of the US. I know from experience that majority of people in Pakistan do not follow traffic laws.

Hope that helps.

They drive like cowboys in Kosovo and they really have very few rules or road signs there. So even experienced drivers can have a tough time here at first.

[Kumi and Drake 14]

Kumi, that's very interesting to hear this from your perspective! So, how long have you been driving so far?

Not very long! I just recently got my driver's permit. I drive a couple of minutes within the neighborhood and in the church's parking lot right beside where we live. At first, yup I was very apprehensive and scared of learning it but when I got comfortable enough about the idea of driving around (I'm still scared of doing it on highways), I would always remind my husband that he needs to let me drive around for a while (which is like a couple of minutes). Slowly easing your fiance to the idea will help. She might be too shy to try driving with other people around too (which was what I felt) so maybe you could find a parking area where there's not too much people.

It helps too to familiarize herself with the surroundings whenever you guys go out. Remembering the landmarks and street signs (and familiarizing with the road signs) will help.

One time my husband parked the car somewhere within the neighborhood I wasn't familiar with, got out and exchanged seats with me and told me to take us home. Of course I was getting paranoid, but he says if you took a wrong turn, you'll know. So i just drove around, took two wrong turns, but I realized (without my husband telling me) that I finally recognized where I was and I took us home safe and sound. It might not work for your fiance if you surprise attack her like that though, but you know her well enough to know how she'll respond to something like that.