Some bad news

[Nasturtium 500]

FBW,
I am so sorry to hear this. I really hope that they are able to get ahold of the cancer and arrest the growth, and then that your treatment goes well. It is good, too, that you were able to have the people you love by your side.

[gizzyboo 6]

My dear sister,

Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.

I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.

I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:

1. You found it early.

2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.

3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.

I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.

Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:

1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.

2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.

This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.

Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?

When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

[Cathi 5,613]

How are you holding up sweets?

[berber_wife 90]

I'm doing OK. I have already had two rounds of chemo and have been getting a good response. A few weeks ago, we found out that my mom also has breast cancer. So much for no family history, huh? Hers, thankfully, seems to have been caught earlier than mine (sidenote: if you are over 40, PLEASE be good about your mammograms) and she will probably get away with no chemo. Her lumpectomy is Thursday--please keep her in your prayers.

Younes has been fantastic in all of this. He's not just a great emotional support, but he keeps me off scary Dr. Google, tells me I'm beautiful bald and supports me in healthy lifestyle by always cooking vegetables and making fresh fruit juices for me. I love him so much!

gizzyboo, it's always wonderful to hear from people who kicked this and have remained cancer free. Especially those with positive lymph nodes. I don't know my stage and nodes positive because I am doing neoadjuvant chemo, but it's not a rosy situation. I am undecided on a lumpectomy or mastectomy. Drs think they can shrink it enough for a lumpectomy and want to keep that option on the table. But that also depends on my BRCA test results and whether they can get clean margins. Plus, my personal preference may end up being mastectomy regardless. Unfortunately, I did not have time to do any fertility preservation. I just didn't feel like I had time. I just hope youth will be on my side since I'll complete treatment before I'm 30 (although I'll still have tamoxifen...) If not, I've been long interested in adoption so Younes and have talked extensively about it, even before all this happened.

Thanks for all the well wishes.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Stay strong, Best wishes to you and your family

[Cathi 5,613]

My dear sister,

Don't be afraid. This, too, shall pass. Trust it from a 8 years breast cancer survivor.

I was diagnosed at age 32 also with an aggressive form of breast cancer. Like you, I was young, no family history (well back then), not even had that much of breast (please smile here) to start with but BOOM it came out from nowhere. At that time, I just got hired by one of the best companies in the world and was about to start my new career. The financial struggle and job security finally started to get settled, then this, cancer. Life sure knows how to throw a curveball at you when you least expect it.

I have to say one thing I hated the most was people telling me "I am so sorry, you are so young". I would be like "sorry for WHAT? I am not going anywhere!" Seriously, don't feel sorry but feel fortunate and lucky, for the following reasons:

1. You found it early.

2. You are young and healthy so your body is strong to fight it.

3. Breast cancer has the best prognosis and treatment options, so if anyone is going to get some sort of cancer in his/her lifetime, get this kind.

I was a stage 2B almost 3. From the scan, the doctor saw one tumor that was about 2.5 cm. But after the surgery, it was actually almost 5 cm and they found another one that was about 3 cm. I had a left mastectomy and lymph node removal - 3 out of 6 had cancer cells. I had a very aggressive type of chemo - 6 rounds for every 3 weeks, and radiation. I was also hormone receptor positive so I took tamoxifen for 5 years.

Two things I would like to mention that I would have done differently had I known what I know now:

1. Explore your options of reconstruction. I had the outdated Latissimus Flap. It was painful and still hurts to-date. If I knew this, I would rather choose not to have any reconstructions. But there are so many way better options now.

2. Since you are still in your 20's and are getting married, fertility is priority if you plan to have children. Talk with your doctors about your options. Consider freezing some eggs is a good possibility. When I was diagnosed, I was so terrified and the cancer was growing so fast so I just wanted it OUT. Chemo fried my ovaries and I was in premature menopause for years. My period did return and miraculously my ovaries woke up and are functioning now. However, I am already 42, I am not sure how many good eggs I have left. So if you want children, you want to keep it in mind while going through treatments.

This is a scary and hard journey, I wouldn't lie to you. I bet you have had that moment that your life so far flash like a movie in your mind. Knowledge is power. When I was going through it, breastcancer.org was my saunturary. There are tons of women from around the world going through the same thing, kind of like visajourney for breast cancer.

Just remember, you are strong and you can BEAT THIS. Soon you will be like me to think breast cancer is just a distant memory. Think of the lame line "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger". My fiance's fiance visa is going through AP right now. Would you believe me if I told you this AP hell is way worse than cancer to me?

When I was just diagnosed, I asked my oncologist (who was brilliant and saved my life by the way) shakingly "doctor, am I going to be ok?" She looked at me in the eyes and then pointed a piece of paper she had it framed and hung on her wall. I would like to share it with you. It helped me tremendously.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success, than what people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice to make everyday regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.

I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...

You are in charge of your attitudes.

You are in my prayers. Please do not hesitate to send me a PM. I would share everything I know with you or even just give you a shoulder to cry on.

You will be fine and life has just begun. Thinking of this as a chance to be reborn.

this was beautiful, touching and inspirational. I wish you both the best in all the journeys you take. Immigration life and health!

[Soloenta 2,218]

Futureberberwife, you don't know me but I'm praying that you and your dear mother will be free of this very soon to continue your long lives full of adventures. God bless and keep you both.