Some bad news

[berber_wife 90]

Right before Christmas, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm still in shock. I'm still in my 20s. I have no family history of early cancer. I have been COMPLETELY healthy my whole life--the kind of person who would get a cold every other year, at most. I eat my veggies, walk everywhere, drink only lightly and have never smoked. I don't know why this happened.

I had to leave my part-time job, my search for a full-time job, my apartment and my life in NYC to move back in with my parents. I had been working so hard towards my career goals and just had to abandon them.

Younes is flying here over the weekend. I feel so lucky that he has the ability to visit and be with me. Please pray that his entry to the US goes well. If he's denied entry I will be devastated. I can't even think more than a few months into the future at this point and don't know how this will affect our immigration plans. But what I do know is that he is my rock, my best friend and the best partner I could ask for and I need him more than ever.

And please, if you find a lump, get it checked out right away. Push your doctor for further testing if you're not satisfied. Even find a new doctor if you have to. But don't let this sort of stuff fall by the wayside. I only got my lump checked out to be cautious. At my age, I wasn't seriously worried about cancer. But I'm so, so glad I did. (And Younes was no small part of that--if I was procrastinating on making appointments, he would not let up on me about it until I had them made).

[davenella 21]

Right before Christmas, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm still in shock. I'm still in my 20s. I have no family history of early cancer. I have been COMPLETELY healthy my whole life--the kind of person who would get a cold every other year, at most. I eat my veggies, walk everywhere, drink only lightly and have never smoked. I don't know why this happened.

I had to leave my part-time job, my search for a full-time job, my apartment and my life in NYC to move back in with my parents. I had been working so hard towards my career goals and just had to abandon them.

Younes is flying here over the weekend. I feel so lucky that he has the ability to visit and be with me. Please pray that his entry to the US goes well. If he's denied entry I will be devastated. I can't even think more than a few months into the future at this point and don't know how this will affect our immigration plans. But what I do know is that he is my rock, my best friend and the best partner I could ask for and I need him more than ever.

And please, if you find a lump, get it checked out right away. Push your doctor for further testing if you're not satisfied. Even find a new doctor if you have to. But don't let this sort of stuff fall by the wayside. I only got my lump checked out to be cautious. At my age, I wasn't seriously worried about cancer. But I'm so, so glad I did. (And Younes was no small part of that--if I was procrastinating on making appointments, he would not let up on me about it until I had them made).

I'm really sorry. Those are definitely bad news but what you say is that you get checked early? That means that you find it on time right?

It is good to know that your fiance will be there with you and that he is able to visit.

I wish you good luck from the bottom of my heart. Things are more easy when you are strong and have your love ones near!

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

Im sorry to read this

[Tayri n Tudert 11]

I read and reread this post trying to think of what to say and I'm just at a loss as I always am, but I don't think it's really about what what you say in these situations I think it's more about listening. But regardless of my lack of eloquence, I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I actually work on an Oncology floor so I see many people, young and old, going through the same battle... many of which have chosen different paths to fight this battle, whether its chemo, radiation, surgery, or nothing. My only words of wisdom that I have learned from the many different people I've encountered is don't let the cancer consume you. Do your research, learn about your options, find a support group of survivors/ people battling, and keep striving to achieve your goals even if you are achieving them much slower and it's much, much harder.I really hope that your fiance will be able to join you soon and you can fight this together. It's a scary thing but you will come out of this! Stay strong and don't give up on yourself and your dreams no matter what! What I've noticed in my patients is that there is still sweetness to life after diagnoses, even if it has metastized. So keep your passions and strengths in your heart, you will prevail.

Edited January 2, 2014 by Tayri n Tudert

[Rosesarered 11]

Salam futureberberwife,

I echo what tayri-n-tudert has said. I know many women whom have been diagnosed and are in remission. Do not be afraid of the word cancer or of its diagnosis. I too am a survivor of an extremely fast growing cancer with(supposed) low patient survival rate. But more than 20 years after that diagnosis I am alive and here to give you this message.

My advice (don't you hate people who give advice ? Hhhh ) Do not allow yourself to look at this as a death sentence!

As far as treatment there are many options out there, don't feel forced to do what others tell you, do what you feel lead by your gut and god to do for yourself. there are many good treatment options available today. And don't ever forget the best advice of all........PRAY!....Our God is always there to help and miracles are still happening every day ....

Oh yes another small thing I remember I did was say and believe the phrase "I'm getting better every day, every minute, every second my body is healing "

Carol

[moushoud 10]

Pray and stay positive, stay strong....I have to talk to my young sister about this and ask her to see a Dr.

I wish you a Happy New Year full of love

[Sarah Elle-Même 660]

Amanda,

I'm so sorry hun. More than sorry. Sorry doesn't really come close, actually. It doesn't make sense and it isn't right. Life can really work us over sometimes, this I know. Look, I'm not a doctor but I am in the science field and the best advice I can give is to find the very best oncologist that specializes in your type of breast cancer and from the very first appointment have him or her go over not just the diagnosis but all the recent studies, clinical trials, everything. You need as much information as possible, to help you decide which treatment path to take. I know the word cancer conjures up worst case scenario in everyone's minds but the truth is that every patient is different. Everyone has a different outcome. Stay strong and positive and don't be afraid to lean on those you love when you need to. I'm glad Younes still has the visitor visa and Inshallah he'll have no issues at POE. Please keep us posted.

Much love,

Sarah

[Girl from Celebes 588]

I'm really sorry to hear that and hoping this thread will be a message for other women to checked themselves to doctor as possible as they can. Thank you for sharing, and be strong!

[tirzaray 4]

You will persevere, trust in God, have faith. He works miracles, believe me, easier said than done when you hear the word "cancer," but pray... Also, hopefully the process will be easy for you. I do not know the facts but if your fiance can travel to the U.S. that seems to be a very good thing. I wish you the best of luck and will pray for your health. Good Luck and God Bless...

[Cathi 5,609]

I'm so sorry. Did they tell you what stage it is? I know many who have lived through and beaten breast cancer, and other types of cancer. There are so many treatments and such a high rate of remission and cure in medicine today. I am so happy that Younes is able to,fly in an comfort you when you need him most. Please keep us updated. Big hugs and many prayers!

[Yassine Fatima 4]

I'm really sorry that you're going through this , but soon inshallah , you will be better, just keep praying , GOD is always with us . wish all the best .

[KimberlyAhmed 28]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know you are in my prayers for a complete recovery. It can be a scary thing to go through as in December 2012 I went to my first mammogram and was told that they saw something. I had to go through a biopsy and it turned out to be nothing, but it was a very scary time, as I thought of was what my mom went through. I was lucky enough that Ahmed was here and I had a good support system in my family and good friends. My mom was diagnosed 8 years ago and it has moved to her lymph nodes. She is alive and well today.

We are here for you if you need us.

[berber_wife 90]

Three pieces of good news--Younes made it with no problems and can stay until July. We are NOT going to AOS because I made a promise to God that if he could be with me, we would not abuse his visa. We're leaning towards getting married within the next few months and then filing CR-1. Hopefully by the time he has to go back to Morocco I will have gotten through the worst of treatment and be well on my way to recovery.

The other good news is my scans showed not evidence of metastasis. The doctors were quite confident there would not be, but it's a relief to hear. Also, my cancer is receptive to hormone therapy--including a just approved new drug my oncologist seems jazzed about.

The bad news is that it has spread to my lymph nodes. This is a very aggressive cancer and it's scary to think that it's progressed so far when I just found the lump a little over two months ago.

I just had genetic counseling today. With my unusually young age, it's recommended that I get tested for the BRCA gene (the gene Angelina Jolie has). My family history doesn't point to me having it, but there's some questions--like prostate cancer occurring in middle age. If I have the gene, it increases my risk of a second breast cancer and ovarian cancer by huge numbers so that's scary.

Thank you for all your good thoughts and prayers.

[sandinista! 1,816]

I'm so sorry for all of this FBW. I wish all the best for you, for the easiest, most comfortable treatment possible, and good outcomes.

[Ismael&Blair 66]

After reading your post, I just want to give you a big HUG. Wishing you a speedy and positive recovery!