VJ Trend Change

[SoCalMark 49]

I don't know if it's me reading onto something or not but as a three year subscriber to VJ ... the boards seem to be changing. There appears to be less help being offered to other members and more criticism, bashing and over-all threads of massive complaining.

I am seeing people who have only filed for just three months whining about the process already. VJ is turning into a whiners wall.

These things take time and while everyone wants to be with their loved one --- yesterday --- this forum was designed to help people get through the process. Not beat the hell out of people for needing advise. YES we have seen the same questions over and over and over again but they are different people asking them.

Just my opinion ... but lately there have been some really NASTY comments made.

Edited November 26, 2013 by SoCalMark

[Merrytooth 5,748]

If only the newbies could bother to use the search buttons, read the guides(many times if possible) and not expecting spoon feeding of all information.

Try answering the same questions day in day out... the enthusiasm will slowly wear off.

And sometimes, it does not pay to help. Some already have certain mindset, only want to read what are pleasant to their ears

This is the internet age, with wealth of Information online. I am sure one could find whatever information they want if they try.

After all, it is their own visa journey, please be responsible and do their own research dutifully.

[SoCalMark 49]

If only the newbies could bother to use the search buttons, read the guides(many times if possible) and not expecting spoon feeding of all information.

Try answering the same questions day in day out... the enthusiasm will slowly wear off.

And sometimes, it does not pay to help. Some already have certain mindset, only want to read what are pleasant to their ears

This is the internet age, with wealth of Information online. I am sure one could find whatever information they want if they try.

After all, it is their own visa journey, please be responsible and do their own research dutifully.

With this point I can certainly agree - I get frustrated at questions like this:

"I just received my NOA2, Now what?"

"How do I assemble my I-1## packet?"

"Where do I find the cheapest flights to __________ ?"

"Is it advisable to get a lawyer?"

"My wife/husband just left me after coming to the country, what do I need to do?"

"How do I ship my packages to county ________?"

"What are the baggage restrictions on airline ________ ?"

"How do I file an AOS?"

-------------------------------------- you get my point.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. It's been like this since at 2007 when I joined, and people were complaining about the same things then.

[Karee 4,190]

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. It's been like this since at 2007 when I joined, and people were complaining about the same things then.

Yep. I joined in 2007 as well. It will probably be the same in 2017 and 2027.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I joined in 2006 and as Maven pointed out, it has been the same all the way through. I have noticed though that the mean-spiritedness tends to go in waves, usually when members become more familiar with the site and start to interact less cautiously with other members. We can get so focused on our own immigration situations and our own problems that we lose sight of the fact that others share these concerns. We also become more knowledgeable due to our longer 'journeys' and become less tolerant of those who don't have our degree of awareness about what this process involves.

It takes a special sort of person who is able to answer the newcomer questions over and over and over and not become frustrated because the questions don't really change - just the person asking them. Of course we want to jump on the bandwagon and tell them to read the guides/wiki/pinned threads or do a search, etc. but it is often these newcomers who are still not familiar with Visa Journey who need a kind and helping hand to get them 'started'.

Some of the experienced members are able to do this very well indeed, and others never really find that 'helping' vibe. It is the same way in life itself: some people are kind and nice and helpful, and some people aren't.

The best solution I have found is to try and not be part of the problem myself. If I can 'help', I'll help. I try to take everyone at their word, recognizing that they have their own troubles and worries and concerns and do the best I can to be gentle and helpful. As far as I'm concerned, there are really no stupid questions asked about the immigration process except the ones that need to be asked and aren't. Our members are great at pointing out where those questions may lie, and while it would be nice if they all could phrase their responses with kindness and clarity, sometimes you will get bluntness instead. As long as it doesn't attack the other person with insults, innuendos or judgements then sometimes it is best just to remember that we are all different and thank them for taking the time to provide the requested information.

[elmcitymaven 9,711]

Fantastic post, Kathryn, and great advice.

[SoCalMark 49]

Fantastic post, Kathryn, and great advice.

AGREE ! Much thought put in it --