I thought this was our right?

[r060106 109]

r06, You might want to get some professional help for your negative thoughts. It's not all doom and gloom. Have you started the visa process yet? Your timeline is blank. If not, what's the hold up?

Poland is a fairly low-fraud country and there is no need for your distress. VWP isn't a privilege given for being an allied country. The B2 denial rate in Poland is low so I don't see why you are complaining. The negativity only exists in your mind.

I hope you followed up on the ugly thread because the OP realized that his fiance never even had an interview scheduled yet so she just lied about having it. You got scared it was true and made up your mind that denials are capricious, yet that story turned out to be untrue.

I'm not negative in other facets of my life. Please don't advise me on what help I should or shouldn't get. I don't trust the government in most areas, so this is why I am the way I am.

My wife was denied a B2 and no fraud was involved, if you must know.

I don't have my timeline updated for privacy reasons. Yes, I've started. We've submitted the I-130 petition and are waiting now. No I didn't follow up on that thread because I've been busy with other things lately.

Thank you

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I'm not negative in other facets of my life. Please don't advise me on what help I should or shouldn't get. I don't trust the government in most areas, so this is why I am the way I am.

My wife was denied a B2 and no fraud was involved, if you must know.

I don't have my timeline updated for privacy reasons. Yes, I've started. We've submitted the I-130 petition and are waiting now. No I didn't follow up on that thread because I've been busy with other things lately.

Thank you

Good. Just relax as much as you can. A denied B2 won't affect the process. They just probably thought she wouldn't come home with a husband or SO in the US. Best of luck and once your wife is in the US all the worry will melt away.

[r060106 109]

Good. Just relax as much as you can. A denied B2 won't affect the process. They just probably thought she wouldn't come home with a husband or SO in the US. Best of luck and once your wife is in the US all the worry will melt away.

Yes, I hope so. It's much harder now that we have a baby on the way and I have to deal with even more paperwork getting the child's CRBA approved.

[TnJ 131]

Given all of the denials I hear about on VJ, I don't honestly trust the system enough to think either myself and my wife, or other people, will "be fine". Nothing I could do or have done in this entire process makes me confident at all that my wife will one day be able to live with me. In my honest opinion, the processes in place are purposely made to trip up beneficiaries and petitioners, even if they're legit and being honest. I'm not saying you're wrong or anything and am not attacking your point of view, just stating how I feel about everything.

One can't help but wonder "what if?" It is only natural to an extent, but worrying about things that haven't come, have no guarantee of coming, or are simply out of our hands won't accomplish anything. I have to disagree with your "nothing I can do" sentiment. A major part of this process and a way of keeping one's sanity is having self-confidence. If that takes being overly prepared, studying every little detail time and time again, so be it. I can understand not trusting the system. Obviously, it has no personal interest in our desires and goals, but it does work, more times than not, in bringing couples together. By observation of this site alone, the approvals appear to far out number the denials. I can only go on what I see though. The best thing to do with these stories is take what you can learn from them and don't give them much thought thereafter. Each case is unique and treated as such. US foreign relations, countries known for high fraud, people not prepared, bad attitudes, dishonesty, etc. are just some reasons why one could get denied. The list goes on, and the problem is nobody can tell you with 100% certainty what is going to happen so you feel alone in the dark. That is just something we all have/had to deal with in our own ways until time reveals the outcome. It's easy to start feeling negative about all of this especially after you have to start waiting and waiting and waiting. If the case is straightforward, confidence can carry you a long way though.

[Solomon&Anne 29]

You appear to be significantly older than your fiance and he is from Nigeria, a country notorious for scams. I don't think you are able to look at your case objectively. How much time have you spent with him? How did you meet? How long after you met did he tell you he loved you?

Harpa Timsah

How can you say im not looking at my case objectively....So because my fiance is from a scam country it must mean he is scamming me ...that is most absurd ....So you insinuate because Iam 19 years older than my fiance he cant truly love me..hahahaha it is closed minded people that think that way....I didn't just rush into this relationship.....And to answer your questions.....We met online playing a game called mafia wars....we were very competitive ..I met alot of people online a man from Afghanistan and a woman from Sweden and a man from Israel ect ect.....I chatted with all of them ....it took my fiance almost a year to tell me he was in love with me.....its not something that happened overnight....we have met in person we chat daily we talk on the phone daily....I can call him anytime day or night and he will answer....we have been together for 3+ years I have talked to his family and friends as he has spoken with mine....Our relationship isnt some scam ....Him and his family have more money than I do they work for a living that is what real people do that dont scam....I am a cook at a small bar in a small coastal town ....he has never asked me for anything but it was my fiance who bought me my new computer when mine broke and it was him who bought me my phone when that broke....As far as age difference Most relationships that I see working here in the USA are ones where one is older than the other ...my grandmother was 16 years older than my grandfather and they had a great life.....And I see your country is Israel well it was the Israel man on mafia wars that was asking for my help to get him out of Israel not the Nigerian...Solomon is very proud to be Nigerian he is proud of who he is and would never change that.....you cant judge a person by what country they are from. you cant judge someone by what you hear....I have met more scammers and users here in the United States than I have anywhere online.....And as far as me being objective....believe me i have been in plenty of relationships to know if im being used or scammed,..I guess that is one of the bonuses of being old... ..I have given Solomon every chance in the world to leave me and get on with his life ...but he insists he just wants to be with me cause of love no other reason ..... So before you Judge people on their choices in life you need to realize not everyone is the same ....being white, black, Asian, Israeli or whatever it doesnt matter it is what is in the heart that matters...and you and your life is no better than me and mine its all about how we chose to live it and with who these are personal choices.....I have no problem moving to Nigeria to live with him the only thing is I have 2 adult children with grandbabies and in a few years when the grandchildren are a bit older it would be a better time in my life to move there ....Our love will prevail .....As I stated in my previous post Dont ever take anything in life for granted we did everything by the book and we were still denied

[Protocol417 161]

How can you say im not looking at my case objectively....So because my fiance is from a scam country it must mean he is scamming me ...that is most absurd ....So you insinuate because Iam 19 years older than my fiance he cant truly love me..hahahaha it is closed minded people that think that way

Um, no, it's the government that thinks this way. These are just "red flags"... not "x = y" but "x might = y, therefore for the protection of our citizens we aren't taking chances".

The answers to the questions asked have nothing to do with what we think about your relationship, but what the government thinks of it. They're the ones making the call, not us. I won't put words into the OP's mouth, but I'm guessing the questions were rhetorical, meant to make you think of reasons the government would have for denial.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Protocol417

[Solomon&Anne 29]

Um, no, it's the government that thinks this way. These are just "red flags"... not "x = y" but "x might = y, therefore for the protection of our citizens we aren't taking chances".

The answers to the questions asked have nothing to do with what we think about your relationship, but what the government thinks of it. They're the ones making the call, not us. I won't put words into the OP's mouth, but I'm guessing the questions were rhetorical, meant to make you think of reasons the government would have for denial.

Yes you are totally right and Iam sincerely sorry if I posted anything to upset anyone...We live in the United States of America where there is freedom of speech and alot of the time things are misread and takin in a different light...And I know the govt can do whatever they like no matter what. We as citizens have to just live with it ....As i stated before dont ever take anything for granted cause this is the United States of America.

[Pinkrlion 2,610]

So maybe I am just confused and don't understand my rights as an American... But I thought this was a matter of the US citizen showing that they make enough money to support the person.. Are mentally stable... Not marrying for reasons other than love and that the person we are marrying is not a Terrorist or has ill intentions for this country... I am seeing people are getting denied for no reason and other reasons that make no logical sense like the USC does not have looks to match the fiance...

Is this not our right to marry someone? Sorry the Denial stories are getting me nervous...

You do have a right to marry, but you can also live in their country. You are applying for them to live here. That does not stop you from marrying whomever you choose.

[Morningmist 76]

I would read the monthly filers thread over the "Family changes to immigration" or "General immigration" forums. The ratio of people getting approved is MUCH higher than those getting denied. You also probably want to know what these people did right rather than read about people and what they did wrong.

It does help to read cases where some people got denied. For example I read that someone had their AOS denied because they were late getting to their interview. I made sure the route I was going to take would be relatively traffic free by the time I went there and gave myself ample of time as just in case.

I don't blame you for being paranoid however. USCIS is like a fortress and small things do delay stuff indefinitely.

[r060106 109]

One can't help but wonder "what if?" It is only natural to an extent, but worrying about things that haven't come, have no guarantee of coming, or are simply out of our hands won't accomplish anything. I have to disagree with your "nothing I can do" sentiment. A major part of this process and a way of keeping one's sanity is having self-confidence. If that takes being overly prepared, studying every little detail time and time again, so be it. I can understand not trusting the system. Obviously, it has no personal interest in our desires and goals, but it does work, more times than not, in bringing couples together. By observation of this site alone, the approvals appear to far out number the denials. I can only go on what I see though. The best thing to do with these stories is take what you can learn from them and don't give them much thought thereafter. Each case is unique and treated as such. US foreign relations, countries known for high fraud, people not prepared, bad attitudes, dishonesty, etc. are just some reasons why one could get denied. The list goes on, and the problem is nobody can tell you with 100% certainty what is going to happen so you feel alone in the dark. That is just something we all have/had to deal with in our own ways until time reveals the outcome. It's easy to start feeling negative about all of this especially after you have to start waiting and waiting and waiting. If the case is straightforward, confidence can carry you a long way though.

I just don't have much self confidence in our chances, to be perfectly honest. I feel like we have bad luck. Don't know why, but I do. I sent my package overly prepared and then found out that the wait was so long and just gave up hope after that. I understand that the approvals far outweigh the denials, but my fear of a denial has disabled me from being optimistic and confident we'll get approved. I feel like we'll get a denial rather than an approval, even though there probably isn't anything wrong with our petition. I focus too much on the terrible denial cases I read here instead of the approvals. I'll try to be more confident, but I've ingrained denials and RFEs into my head so much that my brain automatically is geared to think about those so much that it leaves little room for confidence. If that all makes any sense. Thanks.

Edited September 26, 2013 by r060106

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

I just don't have much self confidence in our chances, to be perfectly honest. I feel like we have bad luck. Don't know why, but I do. I sent my package overly prepared and then found out that the wait was so long and just gave up hope after that. I understand that the approvals far outweigh the denials, but my fear of a denial has disabled me from being optimistic and confident we'll get approved. I feel like we'll get a denial rather than an approval, even though there probably isn't anything wrong with our petition. I focus too much on the terrible denial cases I read here instead of the approvals. I'll try to be more confident, but I've ingrained denials and RFEs into my head so much that my brain automatically is geared to think about those so much that it leaves little room for confidence. If that all makes any sense. Thanks.

I hope you can see how unbalanced and unhealthy your pattern of thinking about this is.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[Lemonslice 4,562]

You appear to be significantly older than your fiance and he is from Nigeria, a country notorious for scams. I don't think you are able to look at your case objectively. How much time have you spent with him? How did you meet? How long after you met did he tell you he loved you?

Harpa Timsah

How can you say im not looking at my case objectively....So because my fiance is from a scam country it must mean he is scamming me ...that is most absurd ....So you insinuate because Iam 19 years older than my fiance he cant truly love me..hahahaha it is closed minded people that think that way....I didn't just rush into this relationship.....And to answer your questions.....We met online playing a game called mafia wars....we were very competitive ..I met alot of people online a man from Afghanistan and a woman from Sweden and a man from Israel ect ect.....I chatted with all of them ....it took my fiance almost a year to tell me he was in love with me.....its not something that happened overnight....we have met in person we chat daily we talk on the phone daily....I can call him anytime day or night and he will answer....we have been together for 3+ years I have talked to his family and friends as he has spoken with mine....Our relationship isnt some scam ....Him and his family have more money than I do they work for a living that is what real people do that dont scam....I am a cook at a small bar in a small coastal town ....he has never asked me for anything but it was my fiance who bought me my new computer when mine broke and it was him who bought me my phone when that broke....As far as age difference Most relationships that I see working here in the USA are ones where one is older than the other ...my grandmother was 16 years older than my grandfather and they had a great life.....And I see your country is Israel well it was the Israel man on mafia wars that was asking for my help to get him out of Israel not the Nigerian...Solomon is very proud to be Nigerian he is proud of who he is and would never change that.....you cant judge a person by what country they are from. you cant judge someone by what you hear....I have met more scammers and users here in the United States than I have anywhere online.....And as far as me being objective....believe me i have been in plenty of relationships to know if im being used or scammed,..I guess that is one of the bonuses of being old... ..I have given Solomon every chance in the world to leave me and get on with his life ...but he insists he just wants to be with me cause of love no other reason ..... So before you Judge people on their choices in life you need to realize not everyone is the same ....being white, black, Asian, Israeli or whatever it doesnt matter it is what is in the heart that matters...and you and your life is no better than me and mine its all about how we chose to live it and with who these are personal choices.....I have no problem moving to Nigeria to live with him the only thing is I have 2 adult children with grandbabies and in a few years when the grandchildren are a bit older it would be a better time in my life to move there ....Our love will prevail .....As I stated in my previous post Dont ever take anything in life for granted we did everything by the book and we were still denied

Was your religious wedding before or after the interview? Maybe that's what they didn't like...

Good luck with everything, never easy having someone judging our relationship :/

[r060106 109]

I hope you can see how unbalanced and unhealthy your pattern of thinking about this is.

Of course I do. It's a vicious circle. You don't think I don't realize that and that my family hasn't brought it to my attention? Trust me, both have happened. I can't just turn off my emotions or way of thinking at the drop of a hat. It doesn't work like that.

I have never been a super positive person. So that feeds into all of this stuff with the visa.

Edited September 27, 2013 by r060106

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Of course I do. It's a vicious circle. You don't think I don't realize that and that my family hasn't brought it to my attention? Trust me, both have happened. I can't just turn off my emotions or way of thinking at the drop of a hat. It doesn't work like that.

I have never been a super positive person. So that feeds into all of this stuff with the visa.

I know it's hard but you should try as hard as you can to think positive and keep your mind busy with other activities and thoughts. Talking to a neutral professional might do you a world of good. Best of luck.

Edited September 27, 2013 by Harpa Timsah

[r060106 109]

I know it's hard but you should try as hard as you can to think positive and keep your mind busy with other activities and thoughts. Talking to a neutral professional might do you a world of good. Best of luck.

Thanks.