Need to break it off, but how?

[jetset55 0]

BTW, they said what she said about not getting another visa was BS, more cheap manipulation. 'nuf said...

jet

[pj1959us 0]

So I lied and told her I would call the consulate to see if the problem could be straightened out, I hate to do that but otherwise she would have been hysterical again. I needed to find out if she had gone and what had happened. Thank goodness the embassy responded to my request so quickly.

God bless,

Jetset55

I'm glad that you're still resolute in your decision but to be honest you really aren't doing yourself or her any good by lying at this stage.

So she'll be hysterical again? She's going to be even more hysterical when she finds out you lied about it.

You've already done the hardest part...be up front from here on out and ensure she knows it's over or you're going to have to continually make up more lies...and she's just going to keep bugging you about it and contacting you.

[jetset55 0]

So I lied and told her I would call the consulate to see if the problem could be straightened out, I hate to do that but otherwise she would have been hysterical again. I needed to find out if she had gone and what had happened. Thank goodness the embassy responded to my request so quickly.

God bless,

Jetset55

I'm glad that you're still resolute in your decision but to be honest you really aren't doing yourself or her any good by lying at this stage.

So she'll be hysterical again? She's going to be even more hysterical when she finds out you lied about it.

You've already done the hardest part...be up front from here on out and ensure she knows it's over or you're going to have to continually make up more lies...and she's just going to keep bugging you about it and contacting you.

Thanks pj1959us, you're right of course.

That little interchange was just a microcosm of the relationship. Little lies to help her handle the truth, enough to keep her from losing control and becoming violent. It's hard to do when you are a fundamentally honest person.

But it's hard not to fall back into that pattern, when that is all you know. It avoids the outbreak and at the end the job gets done, but then the person doesn't understand why you "lied". I never understood why she couldn't handle the truth, and that is at the core of why we can't be together.

If you cannot be honest with yourself and take responsibility for your actions, then you don't get my respect...

Well, thanks pj1959us, you're absolutely right. Tommorow I am seeing a lawyer to explain the situation and receive counsel. Before proceeding I wanted to document the death threats and also ensure that there were no legal snares she could trip me with before proceeding with the absolution dissolution of the relationship.

Jetset55

[isleta521 5]

Would think it is better to break it quickly and be honest about the bitter truth. Stringing her along will only find you dead in a ditch someday. One more thing. Never go south of the Rio Grande after this.

Good luck

[RosaMystica7 0]

Documenting the death threats is a good idea. I agree with the others - be honest, up front, then change your methods of contact (new phone number, new e-mail address) and just break off contact with her. I think it's dangerous for her to be in your life, you need to cut her off sooner rather than later.

[Moonie 0]

That is some drama. Cut her off, you only encourage her by continuing to talk to her. Change your phone! Don't answer the emails. How crazy she still went to the interview. LOL

[Ashleigh-Au 0]

You say this woman knows what she wants.....she wants a Green Card!

I agree with the others....break off all contact....so what if she gets hysterical and violent......she is back in her country.

Look after yourself and if the red flags are flying in your next relationship......RUN!!

Good luck

[chikimyrn 0]

Have you seen the latest People magazine about an american burned to death in Brazil by his girlfriend. She hired a hitman. His family did't suspect until he didn't show up for his father's funeral. Be it for different reasons....money, If there is a motive like a GC behind a relationship other than real love, commitment, and desire for the well-being of your loveone....BE CAREFUL. If what this person wants is a GC then the statements on your application about a bonafide relationship are not true. We don't want to read about you in the news......

[no name 1]

Why is it so hard to get rid of ALL CONTACT with her? Geez. SHe's nuts. SHe's manipulative. You're falling for it again, which you clearly state yet you continue to talk to her! She lives thousands of miles away & can't legally get in the the States!!!!!!!!!

STOP_TALKING_TO_HER.

Duh.

[lilofdevine 0]

I think you need to just get and CUT HER OFF. Why even carry conversations with her, let her conversations go to voicemail and then if she says anything threatening, GO TO THE POLICE. Grow a back bone here. She's manipulating you guy.

[CarolineM 0]

Why is it so hard to get rid of ALL CONTACT with her? Geez. SHe's nuts. SHe's manipulative. You're falling for it again, which you clearly state yet you continue to talk to her! She lives thousands of miles away & can't legally get in the the States!!!!!!!!!

STOP_TALKING_TO_HER.

Duh.

You are a genius,.

[isleta521 5]

BTW ***whispering****

Dont tell her we gave you all this good advice.

[jetset55 0]

BTW ***whispering****

Dont tell her we gave you all this good advice.

...and it's wonderful advice ***whispering***

I changed my handle just because I was paranoid she was reading the website. Maybe she's reading now...SHHHHHHH.

Spoke with her again, was a little more honest, but she keeps asking about the visa.

Won't give in, y'all, don't worry. Have a great support group!!!

Lawyer said to document death threats with a notary, doesn't think she has a leg to stand on regarding the divorce, marriage is probably invalid to start with, she doesn't have any means to contest it either...

Some good news, just trying to get some peace and move on. Feel sorry for her because she made some stupid decisions, but that's just me. An old softy.

An old 37 year softy that has been in too many relationships where he couldn't say no...

Is he learning yet?

Thanks to the help of some great folks.

Will keep you up to date as things move on. Looks like will have to move over to a divorce forum to continue the topic.

SALUDOS!

Jet

[Ashleigh-Au 0]

did I miss the part about you being married?

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Just to give you guys some feedback, I spoke to the young lady today with the intention of finding out if she had gone to the interview, if in fact the fax had arrived and the petition had been cancelled, I didn't get a chance to confirm because the embassy was closed on Friday for a Christmas party.

She did in fact go and tried to convince them that it was a mistake, fortunately they stuck to their guns and I confirmed again this afternoon.

This girl is really desperate and it just reminds me of everything that I dislike about her.

I confirmed again with the staff here that it was indeed cancelled, and will follow up with another fax confirming the verbal confirmation.

It's really sad because this young woman knows what she wants, but she goes about getting it all the wrong way.

She prefers to make other people's lives miserable in order to enrich her own, has not gotten hold of the golden rule yet???

So I lied and told her I would call the consulate to see if the problem could be straightened out, I hate to do that but otherwise she would have been hysterical again. I needed to find out if she had gone and what had happened. Thank goodness the embassy responded to my request so quickly.

Thanks to all your help, I am very content alone at home, by myself but at peace with the world, no longer hating it...

God bless,

Jetset55

No offense, buddy, but before you get involved in another relationship, you've got some serious issues that you need to deal with. Forgive my bluntness, but your an enabler and you've just used dishonesty to make things 'easier'. You seem like a nice guy, but seriously get some counseling so you can recognize the destructive behavior within yourself that contributes to such a volatile relationship.