Wedding Etiquette Gone Wild!

[Toshtishtash 1]

Sorry if this has been posted already, but I saw this article the other day and I am STILL shaking my head in disbelief at the audacity of these 2 women!!! To me, they are totally out of order and two of the most self entitled A Holes, I have ever come across!

What do you think?

http://www.thespec.com/news-story/3845206-have-your-say-about-the-firestorm-over-a-wedding-gift/

[hikergirl 277]

I couldn’t believe it myself.

The gifts people give are bonuses to you sharing your wonderful day with them.

I don’t understand these over the top weddings where people invite everyone they’ve ever known either.

My ex and I got an invite from the guy who built our garage. We’d never even invited him inside the house for a drink. After reading this article I think he was just looking for more presents/money.

[NikLR 13,220]

People are crazy.

I have my own wedding horror stories but thankfully none of my own. I made sure to send out thank you notes the same month as my wedding. Never in a million years, would I ever tell someone their gift wasn't good enough. How rude.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Actually, in US, should the guests be expected to cover the cost of the meal and drink during the wedding, so that the newly wed won't be losing money?

[NikLR 13,220]

NO.

[canada_socks 97]

What got me was the part were they said that people haven't given gifts at weddings in 50 years. Whatever! I have given gifts and I had recieved gifts. I know that some people in my family and some friends could not afford to give lavish amounts of cash, and honestly, I wouldn't want them to spend money on us. I would be happier knowing they (and all of my guests) had a great time at my wedding. One of the best gifts we got, was a big deep walled pan for cooking. It has become the most used utensil in my kitchen and I am very grateful for it!

Actually, in US, should the guests be expected to cover the cost of the meal and drink during the wedding, so that the newly wed won't be losing money?

Most definitely not!

You should not plan a wedding you can not afford! You can not expect your guests to cover the cost of your wedding. If you have a wedding with that mindest, you may as well just send a bill with the invite.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Actually, in US, should the guests be expected to cover the cost of the meal and drink during the wedding, so that the newly wed won't be losing money?

Ha no! Exactly how do you tell someone how much you're spending on them? With the invite "Oh btw, your meal costs us $100 so make sure you buy us a gift for that amount" or at the ceremony/reception "For those of you that didn't know, the meal cost $100 so make sure to include receipts with your gifts and those that are down I'll send you a bill with your thank you note".

No. no no. Incredibly poor etiquette to invite someone ONLY to get money, let alone to expect it. If I wanted my husbands relatives to pay for their seats they wouldn't have come (especially his elderly on-oxygen-24/7 grandmother).

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Honestly at my wedding I didn't care about gifts or money (however of course they were gratefully accepted) but I will admit I was a tad offended that some people didn't even bother to bring a card. Cheap or otherwise. Not that I told them that though!

I have noticed that US society DOES seem to me to be about the gifts/money. They throw bridal showers where presents are expected, bachelorette parties where gifts aren't always expected but are sometimes and of course the wedding itself. I don't understand the bridal shower, makes no sense to me what-so-ever. My MIL actually told me the custom here in the US was to have another little family only party after the wedding and to open the gifts in front of everyone... That made me/us very uncomfortable so I had my sister write down when there was a monetary amount involved and not to say the amount.

Some people feel the same about house-warming parties, only thrown so people get presents. Baby-showers are of course about presents... they even open the gifts in front of everyone so the expectation is to get a GOOD gift or everyone will know you suck :S

[Calypso 464]

I don't understand why some people want to have big weddings and invite more than 30 people. I find it unnecessary to waste even a few months to plan things out, book a venue, pick a caterer, and make decisions about what to wear, which flowers to use, and whatnot and then end up getting stressed out a few days before the wedding because of the little glitches here and there. Weddings don't determine what's gonna happen in the marriage so why spend so much money, time, and attention trying to create one perfect wedding day? You have not seen these people for years before the wedding and you won't see them afterwards... why the need to invite them?

[NikLR 13,220]

Honestly at my wedding I didn't care about gifts or money (however of course they were gratefully accepted) but I will admit I was a tad offended that some people didn't even bother to bring a card. Cheap or otherwise. Not that I told them that though!

I have noticed that US society DOES seem to me to be about the gifts/money. They throw bridal showers where presents are expected, bachelorette parties where gifts aren't always expected but are sometimes and of course the wedding itself. I don't understand the bridal shower, makes no sense to me what-so-ever. My MIL actually told me the custom here in the US was to have another little family only party after the wedding and to open the gifts in front of everyone... That made me/us very uncomfortable so I had my sister write down when there was a monetary amount involved and not to say the amount.

Some people feel the same about house-warming parties, only thrown so people get presents. Baby-showers are of course about presents... they even open the gifts in front of everyone so the expectation is to get a GOOD gift or everyone will know you suck :S

I've never enjoyed gift opening ordeals. Even at birthday parties. I hate the idea that me or anyone else I care about has to "keep up with the Jones"

I don't understand why some people want to have big weddings and invite more than 30 people. I find it unnecessary to waste even a few months to plan things out, book a venue, pick a caterer, and make decisions about what to wear, which flowers to use, and whatnot and then end up getting stressed out a few days before the wedding because of the little glitches here and there. Weddings don't determine what's gonna happen in the marriage so why spend so much money, time, and attention trying to create one perfect wedding day? You have not seen these people for years before the wedding and you won't see them afterwards... why the need to invite them?

I agree.

I wish certain people could have attended my wedding (hub's family and best friend) but he wasn't worried about it, so I didn't. We had the important people there. Me, him and my daughter. Anyone else was extra.