Pregnant... Should I Continue K1 Process

[bigdog 376]

Good Luck, better to leave now then me miserable, find a support group and get your head straight.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

this is a very complicated situation considering the fact that a baby is included. Im a jamaican man and i dont know what to say. Just dont give the baby to the father for him to take care of it, thats all

Why?

For those of you questioning the OP's worthiness as a mom to be, how do you think her future ex will be able to raise a child by himself on a cruise ship?

I don't question the worthiness of the OP BUT she might just be as busy as he is. I mean she's busty travelling the globe, pursuing degrees and climbing the corporate ladder also. What if Mr. Man has a tremendous family support down there in JA? African derivates usually still have an extended nucleus family, yes?

There's at least one poster on here that is still thumping his chest with pride that his kid is being raised by a hired babysitter instead of the real Mother. Point is, we have to look at the whole picture.

Gowon out.

[Married_Noni 2]

Off topic but i could not help myself on some of the responses. Jamaica is NOT in Africa so people responding with the 'African Culture' thing needs to stop. Jamaica is part of the Caribbean/island countries.

[kennym 275]

Off topic but i could not help myself on some of the responses. Jamaica is NOT in Africa so people responding with the 'African Culture' thing needs to stop. Jamaica is part of the Caribbean/island countries.

You must know much about Jamaica...

[Married_Noni 2]

I do NOT but i do KNOW that it is not in Africa so educate yourself. It goes a long way in adding valuable information to any conversation.

Also, Google is your friend so utilize that free tool :-)

I do NOT but i do KNOW that it is not in Africa so educate yourself. It goes a long way in adding valuable information to any conversation.

Also, Google is your friend so utilize that free tool :-)

You must know much about Jamaica...

[kennym 275]

I do NOT but i do KNOW that it is not in Africa so educate yourself. It goes a long way in adding valuable information to any conversation.

Also, Google is your friend so utilize that free tool :-)

I do NOT but i do KNOW that it is not in Africa so educate yourself. It goes a long way in adding valuable information to any conversation.

Also, Google is your friend so utilize that free tool :-)

Ask yourself, what is the Jamaican Heritage... You'll Educate yourself if you do a little reading.. Geography has very little to do with it.. But it's nice to know you know where jamaica is...

Edited August 15, 2012 by kennym

[kennym 275]

Off topic but i could not help myself on some of the responses. Jamaica is NOT in Africa so people responding with the 'African Culture' thing needs to stop. Jamaica is part of the Caribbean/island countries.

Well smarty pants, did you look up Jamaican Culture?

Did you see anything about the ethinic makeup of Jamaica... In fact, Jamaica is fairly similiar to many caribiean countries.. Large Percentace of Carribean is made of descendant of african slaves brought to carribean countries during the agriculture age.. ..

Interesting.. huh? you could learn a lot if you open your ears and eyes before you shoot off smart a&& comments..

Edited August 15, 2012 by kennym

[God fearing 13]

Carribean men do not like arguing with women and a lot of times hanging up the phone is a way to get away from engaging in such behavior. You are pregnant so he will not tell you anything negative (like ending the relationship with you). Doing that could affect the baby. At this point you need to know your self worth and consider accepting things for the way they are and figure out an amicable way for you both to contribute to the child's well being. You obviously interpret this relationship as dysfunctional, therefore don't have high expectations on making it work. He is set in his ways and so are you!

If you want to continue with the immigration process, that's up to YOU. The ppl on this forum can not govern your heart for you. Reality is sometimes this is the outcome from a relationship that was not given a chance to develope. In life, we ultimately make our own decisions and sometimes the choices we make may affect us temporarily. Regardless, you are now carrying a life inside you, which some consider a blessing (I hope you do). All that's important right now is you and the unborn child. Relax, dont argue with him and find fulfillment in your life that can distract you from the BS.

Think about your future, in a way that won't bring you further disappointment. You'll be fine girl...

[wilfon 30]

Here's a little bit of background on my situation. I met my fiance on a cruieship here in the U.S. He's from Jamaica. We fell in love and got engaged. A few months after the engagement I found out I was pregnant. Everything was going great until about a month ago. For the past months we have been arguing and fighting all the time, my fiance claims that I'm too loud and controlling. He has also made the statement that he is a MAN and that I need to learn to stay in a WOMAN's place and I should know my role. I have been trying to get him to explain to me what a woman's place is, but I have yet to get a real answer. I have also yet to get an answer to how I'm too controlling. He lives and works on a ship, how can I possibly conntrol anything in his life? Also, in regards to me being too loud, he apparently thinks that I am not supposed to ever raise my voice when talking to him. Everytime we get in an argue and my voice raises he hangs up the phone me. I find that so disrepectful, however he continues to do it, and totally disregards anything that I say.

So let me get to the point of this post, yesterday we got into another argument over something petty and little. In the mist of the argument, he demands that I just give him the baby when he's born and he'll take the child to Jamaica and raise him there. He totally skips over the whole breakup part that typically takes place. And he doesn't ask for his ring back, but instead he proceeds to demand that I give him my baby and that he just wants his son when he's born. At this point I think he's crazy. Who in there right mind tells a pregnant woman to hand over there baby. Especially when it came out of left field. So I was already having serious doubts about this relationship, because his behavior is beginning to show signs of a controlling and possibly abusive person but now I'm also afraid for my child's safety once he is born. If I let this man around my child, will he try to kidnap him and take him to Jamaica?

Do you all think I'm thinking a little too much into this? Is it one of those I'm just stressed out over this process and you're just stressed out moments? Or do you think my concerns are rationale and valid? Sometimes it's hard to tell, especially with the preganncy hormones. But I'm starting to have a gut feeling that it's best to get out of this situation before it gets worst. However, another part of me wants my child to have and know his father. Any advice would be appreciated.

(Also I don't need legal advice, I know my rights, I'm a 3 year law student and I work at a law firm. I'm just looking for advice from a rational person, relationship persepctive. It would also be nice to here from some women who have dealt with Jamaican/Carriean men before.)

Thanks!

Sorry to hear about the situation you are currently in. Speaking as a man, I would not seek a relationship with the father of your unborn child. I know many Jamaican men and I can tell you that his behavior is not uncommon. Just like he said he wants you to "Know your role and Shut your mouth". He has been watching a little too much WWE wrestling. Unless you want to be mistreated for the rest of your life, then stay away from this guy as much as you can. He is bad news. You and your baby will be much better off without that guy. He will bring too much negative energy and possibly violence into your lives. Good luck to you. Keep us posted.

[Krikit 1,163]

Moving from K-1 Process to Off Topic.

[Ban Hammer 12,837]

There's at least one poster on here that is still thumping his chest with pride that his kid is being raised by a hired babysitter instead of the real Mother.

Gowon out.

[kennym 275]

my thought,,

Find a Jamaican woman, to kick his butt.. them Jamaican Men are scared of the the Jamaican Woman.. Not that it would change the way he treats you though.. but it would be fun to watch..

Kenny

:dance:

Edited August 15, 2012 by kennym

[velrich 50]

Off topic but i could not help myself on some of the responses. Jamaica is NOT in Africa so people responding with the 'African Culture' thing needs to stop. Jamaica is part of the Caribbean/island countries.

Thank you.

Here I was assuming that all those persons mentioning 'AFRICA' misread her post.

[Marlon&Fallon 13]

my thought,,

Find a Jamaican woman, to kick his butt.. them Jamaican Men are scared of the the Jamaican Woman.. Not that it would change the way he treats you though.. but it would be fun to watch..

Kenny

:dance:

I take it that you're just being sarcastic?

Jamaican women aren't much different from other women around the world. You'll find diversity just the same like every where else. You can say the same for the men. I always despise the comments I often see about Jamaican men, being one myself. I certainly know I don't fit in with the stereotype of being controlling and insensitive. I certainly don't think culture has anything to do with a person's character. That has to do with ones upbringing; and everyone is not raised the same. Even so it's not circumstances, upbringing or culture that makes you who you are, but the choice you make of whether to become a better person or not.

[kennym 275]

I take it that you're just being sarcastic?

Jamaican women aren't much different from other women around the world. You'll find diversity just the same like every where else. You can say the same for the men. I always despise the comments I often see about Jamaican men, being one myself. I certainly know I don't fit in with the stereotype of being controlling and insensitive. I certainly don't think culture has anything to do with a person's character. That has to do with ones upbringing; and everyone is not raised the same. Even so it's not circumstances, upbringing or culture that makes you who you are, but the choice you make of whether to become a better person or not.

Yes, it's a little Sarcasm, but there is a diferent personality with Jamaicans, russianS, colombians, or anyplace.. All have thier inherent culturally influenced components of thier personalities..

To say culture has nothing to do with it; is naive.. It's good when someone can put all the years of local culture and enfluence aside and make their own descisions, but it's not typical.. You can be from Los Angeles, California or Laredo, Texas, growing up anyplace will absoulutely enfluence your behaivior, and your reasoning...