K1 VISA WIFE LEFT BEFORE AOS

[ClaireGio 35]

I agree about the not having left the country part. Sounds like there is a conspiracy going on to make you believe that though... Be very careful indeed.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Hello,

I am writing broken hearted as my wife of 4 months left for her home country 2 days ago without warning and claiming abuse. .

I am just venting my hurt and frustration, but would appreciate any kind words and advice.

Thanks

She used the feminists play book that can be foudn online. She had a coach, you are lucky, so far.

Only if the court orders you to pay her. With a short term marriage and your limited assets, she is likely to get nothing. How the heck is she going to pay for her US lawyer? No way is the US government allowing her back to litigate the divorce. She is screwed in court.

She's in the US, no way has she left.

I do not believe at all that she left the Country. ShelterS NEVER get involved to the point to go to someones house and take the person to the airport. Her friend LIED TO YOU. Shelters offer a safe place to stay and if the person is in danger they call the cops.I do not believe in a single thing her friend told you.

I concur.

Sorry this happened to you...There is always 2 sides of the story and I dont think she will end up coming on VJ to vent her frustrations. She obviously didn't love you enough to stay and work it out. Sounds like she was young and naive, at the same time I/we are not sure where she is from but sounds like their expectations over all were high. Did you maybe set her expectations to high before her coming here? Sometimes women from other countries require some patience and understanding from your part.. IF indeed you showed her a different side of you, and if indeed her kind of behavior frustrated you, i would personally settle for an American woman, they can put up with that kind of behavior from you, but also your children. It seems us Americans are used to it. Hope everything else is good...take care.

I concur but you're going to get a beating for saying it

Jandk you said " i would personally settle for an American woman, they can put up with that kind of behavior from you", which rock did you crawl out of?. There is no one single freaking difference between american and foreign women. Character has no face or nationality.

Tons of difference. It amazes me that you woudl say that on an international forum such as this.

First of all, calm down, to be truthful there is a HUGE difference with the way the women are in America and the way the women are in other countries with the exception of a few.

Hope you rest easy. OP let her go...I don't come here to sugar coat the situation...But with OP's situation, you may not be able to provide her with that she needs and wants..Call her selfish but then again I would call her smart for leaving.

Thank you for the replies. The woman who gave me the information IS a liar and the only reason I got what information I got was because of her husband when he checked her phone calls on line. Someone took her to the airport 2 hours away and provided her a cell phone. I don't think the police would do that.

You may be right as far as her going to a shelter. We briefly talked to one of my friends and they had a private conversation with serious looks on their faces. She hugged her and said she would take care of her. Maybe that was where the 2 hour ride came from. I was told she just wanted to leave and not get me in trouble.

She knew my financial situation before she came. I explained everything thouroughly. I told her about my family situation and that there had to be some contact with the ex-wife. Everything was ok with the Kids until she demanded their family pet dog was sent off. Then, a break down occurred where I was in the middle having to take sides.

I think her expectations were very high. Her friend was always talking about going to the gym and beach and riding her bicycle to the store when she wanted. She wanted such a life and I could not provide it due to limited funds and location. She could not drive and get out to meet people and wanted to pick her own friends.

Yes. There are 2 sides to every story.

She is home now and said she would write. Perhaps she will tell me really what happened and will tell me what. she wants.

Thanks for the responses.

Home now where?

[Eddie&A 5]

So sorry to hear about your troubles. This woman obviously did not love you. As hard as it may be, divorce her as soon as possible, report this to immigration, and move on with your life. I wish you only the best from this day forward.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Your story reminded me of this thread: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/369777-divorced-american-man-now-married-to-filipina/

[Cathi 5,624]

Sorry about what has happened to you. This woman was not worth one minute of your time if she was not willing or able to accept your children. Unfortunately children are sometimes put in the middle and blamed for things that are not in any way, shape or form their fault. Please put your children first, I am sure they are hurt and confused, work on your strained relationship with them. I know you are hurt and just want some sort of closure, which you may never get. Good luck!!!

[AmyWrites 593]

Jandk you said " i would personally settle for an American woman, they can put up with that kind of behavior from you", which rock did you crawl out of?. There is no one single freaking difference between american and foreign women. Character has no face or nationality.

No, ALL foreign women are hot, never age over 25, wonderful, submissive and with no gag reflex, and they absolutely never, ever, marry a USC just to come to America or because they think AMerican = money...

Back to the topic, now that some people have mentioned it, yeah, she's probably not left at all. Be very careful. File for divorce, don't communicate with her at all.

[sadtoday 0]

Hello,

I am writing broken hearted as my wife of 4 months left for her home country 2 days ago without warning and claiming abuse. I am devastated and deeply hurt. I am not a newbie as I created this profile to avoid any more hurt and embarrassment.

Here is my story.

My wife was disappointed with my house, it's condition and the town I live in when she arrived. It is in town, but a rural retirement community. Narrow streets, no sidewalks, poorly lit at night. No stores near by. She wanted to walk alone but I told her it was not safe to do so. Rarely do you see people walking or riding bicycles and you NEVER see women alone. She refused to go with my sister-in-law anywhere who volunteered her days off to help her. My children (3) did not have a lot to say to her and she took it personally. They are teens and don't even talk to me!

To make the story short, problems I did not solve with my ex-wife bothered her, we have 3 children we were taking care of and she resented any contact. The children got tired of her DEMANDING they speak to her and started not coming over. This bothered me as their biological mother did nothing but encourage it. My wife did not even want her to pick them up at my mothers' house. She did not want to go to my mothers' house any more.

She began to complain about the smallest things that eventually led to arguments and verbal fights. She told me that she did not like my children and would not look after them. She said they were lazy and my daughter was a pig. This was coming from someone who got up an hour after they did. She would not even open the door when they were dropped off or even get up. She would then complain to her friends and daughter. They began encouraging her to come home. She was extremely jealous of my ex-wife and even thought there as something going on between us. When there are children involved, (one entering university) you HAVE to communicate.

To make this story short, she left 2 days ago claiming I abused her. She called a womans shelter and they took her to the airport and she went back to her country. I don't know where she got the ticket from either. She said she was afraid of me and that I was starving her with and did not have food in the house. She said I ran around the house with a gun and was afraid of me. She said I called her bad names and that I pounded my fists on the table. The only thing that as true was I called her a lazy fat A$$ and she did not like hearing the truth. I told her I was sorry over and over but like everything else, it was not good enough for her. This woman actually GAINED weight while she was here so I don't know where the starvation and lack of food came from. She complained there was no toilet because the water was turned off due to a leaking pipe in the yard. It took 3 days to fix and was an inconvenience, but it was not a permanent problem.

The bottom line was, she got here and America for her was not what she expected. She did not adjust at all and never felt like she fit in. Also, I am not wealthy. I work 6 sometimes 7 days a week for small money and money is tight. She expected all new furnishings and could not wait. I even paid for her house and utilities while she was here. She had no concept of earning and spending money. She wanted a rich man and only got me.

I could go on and on, but I have said enough. I did my best for her and it ws never enough. Nothing warranted involving a womans shelter involvement and all the false accusations. She took the marriage license to divorce me claiming one of the children took it. I am wondering if she is doing this to get some kind of benefit from me... At least I ill not pay for her house and utilities any more.

I am just venting my hurt and frustration, but would appreciate any kind words and advice.

Thanks

I've had similar problems with my wife. She's overly jealous of my ex-wife although I rarely have any contact with my ex and then normally just through text or email. She is not accepting of my child and avoids her. She is a teenager who is over every other weekend. In her country when a couple splits, the woman keeps the children and the father basically is just gone from their life. She has real issues with accepting the situation with USA divorce and shared children.

There is no economic shortage in our home though. I know she didn't come for the money, she came for love. She never did want to leave her country actually, it was hard for her to make the decision to do so. I often wonder now if she was truly committed to starting a new life here, or just didn't realize how hard it is to leave behind a life you've had for over 30 years. It was hard on her when she didn't have a drivers license and couldn't work, but she has that now and a car to drive. But she gets severely homesick and then starts acting out, and then will go into silent mode for days. She's a great woman in many ways, but then is also childish in others appearing to lack empathy. I guess I choose to ignore the red flags that were raised earlier in this regard. Currently she is not speaking to me and saying she'll go home again. It really kills me to have things go into this mode. I've been through it so many times now I keep wondering if it would just be better to let her return and get it over with. My heart will be broken, I truly do love her, but I'm not sure she's ever going to adjust to being in this country as opposed to her home country. Its probably the hardest place I've ever been mentally, so I can relate to how you're feeling.

I wish you good luck and hope your heart heals fast. I might be wearing your same shoes one of these days, sad to say.

[6060842s 1]

I believe she has returned to her country. She was very homesick and was not happy with my life and family. In all honesty, I was not sensitive to her needs emotionally. I was too focused on family issues and making sure the bills got paid. Her friend did not help matters bragging of her lifestyle I could not duplicate for her. I am bothered about the abuse accusations as she could leave whenever she wanted if she felt that strong about it. Who knows if there really was a report of an accusation? She just wanted to go home.

Thanks for the support and comments.

[aaydrian 479]

Jandk you said " i would personally settle for an American woman, they can put up with that kind of behavior from you", which rock did you crawl out of?. There is no one single freaking difference between american and foreign women. Character has no face or nationality.

Have to agree with this in the rough sense that whether a woman is American, English, Filipina, a RUBber, an Aussie, a Colombian or French if she feels/thinks she's been wronged and must get even, that woman will f**k you up. So OP best be careful with his wife, heed her treats and act responsibility.

As someone mentioned, you sure you didn't tell her what was the 'average' life in America vs telling her what 'our' life will be like in America?

[6060842s 1]

I've had similar problems with my wife. She's overly jealous of my ex-wife although I rarely have any contact with my ex and then normally just through text or email. She is not accepting of my child and avoids her. She is a teenager who is over every other weekend. In her country when a couple splits, the woman keeps the children and the father basically is just gone from their life. She has real issues with accepting the situation with USA divorce and shared children.

There is no economic shortage in our home though. I know she didn't come for the money, she came for love. She never did want to leave her country actually, it was hard for her to make the decision to do so. I often wonder now if she was truly committed to starting a new life here, or just didn't realize how hard it is to leave behind a life you've had for over 30 years. It was hard on her when she didn't have a drivers license and couldn't work, but she has that now and a car to drive. But she gets severely homesick and then starts acting out, and then will go into silent mode for days. She's a great woman in many ways, but then is also childish in others appearing to lack empathy. I guess I choose to ignore the red flags that were raised earlier in this regard. Currently she is not speaking to me and saying she'll go home again. It really kills me to have things go into this mode. I've been through it so many times now I keep wondering if it would just be better to let her return and get it over with. My heart will be broken, I truly do love her, but I'm not sure she's ever going to adjust to being in this country as opposed to her home country. Its probably the hardest place I've ever been mentally, so I can relate to how you're feeling.

I wish you good luck and hope your heart heals fast. I might be wearing your same shoes one of these days, sad to say.

Boy does that sound familiar! Try dealing with 3 non speaking teenagers and an ex wife... I know she did not come for the money, but was blind sided by the entire situation.

Thanks for the reply and good luck!

[6060842s 1]

I've had similar problems with my wife. She's overly jealous of my ex-wife although I rarely have any contact with my ex and then normally just through text or email. She is not accepting of my child and avoids her. She is a teenager who is over every other weekend. In her country when a couple splits, the woman keeps the children and the father basically is just gone from their life. She has real issues with accepting the situation with USA divorce and shared children.

There is no economic shortage in our home though. I know she didn't come for the money, she came for love. She never did want to leave her country actually, it was hard for her to make the decision to do so. I often wonder now if she was truly committed to starting a new life here, or just didn't realize how hard it is to leave behind a life you've had for over 30 years. It was hard on her when she didn't have a drivers license and couldn't work, but she has that now and a car to drive. But she gets severely homesick and then starts acting out, and then will go into silent mode for days. She's a great woman in many ways, but then is also childish in others appearing to lack empathy. I guess I choose to ignore the red flags that were raised earlier in this regard. Currently she is not speaking to me and saying she'll go home again. It really kills me to have things go into this mode. I've been through it so many times now I keep wondering if it would just be better to let her return and get it over with. My heart will be broken, I truly do love her, but I'm not sure she's ever going to adjust to being in this country as opposed to her home country. Its probably the hardest place I've ever been mentally, so I can relate to how you're feeling.

I wish you good luck and hope your heart heals fast. I might be wearing your same shoes one of these days, sad to say.

Boy does that sound familiar! Try dealing with 3 non speaking teenagers and an ex wife... I know she did not come for the money, but was blind sided by the entire situation.

Thanks for the reply and good luck!

[aaydrian 479]

Boy does that sound familiar! Try dealing with 3 non speaking teenagers and an ex wife... I know she did not come for the money, but was blind sided by the entire situation.

If she didn't come the money (or lifestyle if you prefer), then why is she angry that she can't go to the gym, shopping etc?

[Joanne n Thanh 0]

So sorry to hear that! Divorce the selfish lady & let her find a new "rich" man!

Unfortunately, it happens ALOT! I have seen lots of men go back to their home country & marry a woman. Bring her over to Canada/USA and find out, they randomly left one day.. Some go back to their home country, others just move to a different city/province/state and start their new life.

[6060842s 1]

I was very clear about my lifestyle, finances and before she got here, she was ok with what I presented. I did not factor in the wide personality clashes with the children. I did not handle her needs as I should have either. I tried, but it was not good enough.

[6060842s 1]

If she didn't come the money (or lifestyle if you prefer), then why is she angry that she can't go to the gym, shopping etc?

She felt isolated and trapped not being able to go out and do what she wanted when she wanted. She even referred to home as jail because she stayed there all the time.