cooking

[gretchen_darren 67]

I should stress the reasons I post on here are to help me with my wife. the cooking and throwing out of food bothers me (besides reading with the kids at night when we have them here).... cooking very, very much (just one of those childhood things)

the cooking bothers me because of my ex, and how II had to make my own meals with my ex the last few years of marriage.... it sometimes had me "feeling" like I am still married to my ex. I am trying to get over this by reminding myself of other things with asawa ko. Plus trying to find a way to talk it over with her, realizing this may just be pregnancy related right now, or may be something I need to deal with.... but don't know how much relates to pregnancy since I do not know how much American food she likes.

I am drifting back to watching more cooking shows again... I just don't know if it is for her benefit or for mine.

I notice a LOT of visayan conversation at the family home to the point of exclusion of the Americans there. (there are just 2 Americans there, me plus the other guy.) I know he gets extremely frustrated because of it. Me, I am learning visayan so they cannot shut me out of the conversations....

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

I am not sure I understand... your wife is pregnant, thinks she is hungry, cooks a lot of food, then throws it out, and you are bothered by the waste? Get her to freeze it?

[aam 3]

hmmmm. I will be going ot visit my fiancee this coming week and they always cook way too much food. Especially rice and they throw it out to. I suggested they give it to the neighbors who have very little and they asked me why. So I asked Ann why she cooks so much and she says they never know who might show up so they want to be prepared for guest if they stop by.

When i visited her relatives in Quezon they did the same thing, lots and lots of food because they presumed since I was an american I needed to eat a lot.

[kev_n_jena 89]

I should stress the reasons I post on here are to help me with my wife. the cooking and throwing out of food bothers me (besides reading with the kids at night when we have them here).... cooking very, very much (just one of those childhood things)

the cooking bothers me because of my ex, and how II had to make my own meals with my ex the last few years of marriage.... it sometimes had me "feeling" like I am still married to my ex. I am trying to get over this by reminding myself of other things with asawa ko. Plus trying to find a way to talk it over with her, realizing this may just be pregnancy related right now, or may be something I need to deal with.... but don't know how much relates to pregnancy since I do not know how much American food she likes.

I am drifting back to watching more cooking shows again... I just don't know if it is for her benefit or for mine.

I notice a LOT of visayan conversation at the family home to the point of exclusion of the Americans there. (there are just 2 Americans there, me plus the other guy.) I know he gets extremely frustrated because of it. Me, I am learning visayan so they cannot shut me out of the conversations....

Darren,

Does it bother you because you think your wife should be the one doing the cooking rather than you? I wouldn't expect my wife to cook during her pregnancy if she didn't want to.

When my wife was working I did 90% of the cooking. I grill out almost every day except in the dead of winter. During hot weather I don't like to run the oven inside.

Now that Jena stays home with the baby everyday she does most of the cooking. She's been here almost five years and cooks almost 100% American style meals. Not because I ask for it, it's just what she prefers now. We only have rice about once per week, she prefers potatoes believe it or not.

As far as throwing out food, you could compost it. Do you have room for a garden? If not, you can use the compost in container gardening. It's a great hobby, saves money, and is a great lesson for kids.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

How much cooking did she do before she came here?

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Darren from reading your multi post, you have given others to believe that you don't understand how or what your marriage should consist of. Not quite sure if consist is the right work right now. But, you would benefit from some individual marriage counseling. You don't understand the expectations or what you should give or receive from within a marriage. Remember this is your 2nd marriage and you are asking about everyday situations that most would expect young couples to be having issues with in their marriage.

Cooking, a shared responsibility.

Throwing away of food, make the statement that this is unaccepatable.

Wife pregnancy, this is her first time, she has no idea what to expect.

Speaking in a forgein language when you are present, explain it is not acceptable in your home and present. You can't control other peoples home.

Reading to your kids, note those are your kids reading is YOUR quality time with them. If she wants to be present then that will need to be a decision wife will have to make on her own. Wife is learning many new things at one time, you must learn to be patient. gees

If you teach, she will learn, if you expect and demand of things she has no knowlege how can you complain.

Darren seek professional marriage counseling, or you will continue to make everyone un-happy.

[Hank_ 9,173]

Respect is not an "on demand" thing, that is called obedience. Respect is earned.

[Hank_ 9,173]

I should stress the reasons I post on here are to help me with my wife. the cooking and throwing out of food bothers me (besides reading with the kids at night when we have them here).... cooking very, very much (just one of those childhood things)

the cooking bothers me because of my ex, and how II had to make my own meals with my ex the last few years of marriage.... it sometimes had me "feeling" like I am still married to my ex. I am trying to get over this by reminding myself of other things with asawa ko. Plus trying to find a way to talk it over with her, realizing this may just be pregnancy related right now, or may be something I need to deal with.... but don't know how much relates to pregnancy since I do not know how much American food she likes.

I am drifting back to watching more cooking shows again... I just don't know if it is for her benefit or for mine.

I notice a LOT of visayan conversation at the family home to the point of exclusion of the Americans there. (there are just 2 Americans there, me plus the other guy.) I know he gets extremely frustrated because of it. Me, I am learning visayan so they cannot shut me out of the conversations....

Sounds like you have more issues than Gretchen should have to deal with right now... or ever. Get over THE EX and start focusing on your wife.... you grab hold of "trouble" with your family that petered out, now you have moved on to clinging to memories of your EX.

Edited June 16, 2012 by Hank_Amy

[Tahoma 2,291]

I should stress the reasons I post on here are to help me with my wife.

How's that working out for you?

[Markieboy 104]

How's that working out for you?

And...the saga continues...

[Hank_ 9,173]

I think Gretchen should post MUCH more for the opposite reason...

[B_J 2,752]

1. Agreed, Gretchen should post more.

2. We have a policy in our home. We only cook food that both of us will eat. It eliminates some of my favorites and some of hers, but it keeps us a couple.

3. You shouldn't have to learn another language just so you won't get shut out. Like Nanay told Jessa, "you need to adjust to America and not expect America to adjust to you."

[kev_n_jena 89]

Darren,

I know many peoples lives revolve around food and meals. About 20 years ago I had to change my diet temporarily. I cut out all saturated fat and hydrogenated oils for over a year. It was very very difficult to get family members to spend time with me without centering that time around a meal. Any time I was invited over to someones house, they wanted to know what I wanted to eat. I would tell them, don't worry about me, lets just do something in between meals. It never seemed to work very well.

Maybe if you could stop focusing on food and the meal so much and replace it with some other activity it would be helpful. I know that's easy to say but harder to do.

After the baby is born you need to keep your wife well nourished if she's breast feeding. She probably won't feel like cooking the first few weeks.

[Penguin_ie 5,986]

** Several sexist, misogynistic posts removed as they violate the VJ TOS ****

[VirtualLee 12]

I should stress the reasons I post on here are to help me with my wife. the cooking and throwing out of food bothers me (besides reading with the kids at night when we have them here).... cooking very, very much (just one of those childhood things)

the cooking bothers me because of my ex, and how II had to make my own meals with my ex the last few years of marriage.... it sometimes had me "feeling" like I am still married to my ex. I am trying to get over this by reminding myself of other things with asawa ko. Plus trying to find a way to talk it over with her, realizing this may just be pregnancy related right now, or may be something I need to deal with.... but don't know how much relates to pregnancy since I do not know how much American food she likes.

I am drifting back to watching more cooking shows again... I just don't know if it is for her benefit or for mine.

I notice a LOT of visayan conversation at the family home to the point of exclusion of the Americans there. (there are just 2 Americans there, me plus the other guy.) I know he gets extremely frustrated because of it. Me, I am learning visayan so they cannot shut me out of the conversations....

I guess it depends on how Pinay are brought up. cuz for me way back childhood days. mom would get mad if we waste food.

like when eating just get enough food that you can finish or else you'll be punish like washing the dishes

morning-day-night for a week. and like when cooking food and if there is left over make sure to put it on a food keeper

and put inside the ref when its cool already from heat. then the next day we can reheat and make sure to finish the left

over before cooking new fresh foodie again.

So I guess let your wife understand that, throwing food is not good. let her remember that lots of people here in the

Phil. starve, no food. and she is just throwing away. if she answers back that she's in the US and not in the Phil. anymore,

tell her that you work hard to earn money and that food was bought not to throw/just to waste it but to eat it. It's a Grace from God. =)

Edited June 16, 2012 by VirtualLee