K1 Interview and American ex-boyfriend

[HK12 273]

Hi all,

I realize my question is rather country-specific, but I could not find anyone else in Germany with similar experiences, so I decided to give it a try on here.

Me (German beneficiary) and my fiancé (petitioner) have been together for almost two years and just started our K1 application in March. We originally met online. So far so good. Unfortunately, I used to date another American before. We were together for two-and-a-half years prior to my current relationship, but broke up because he was cheating and lying to me, and had problems with gambling and drinking (not wanting to go into detail). We had met online as well on a penpal forum (however, we'd never applied for a K1 visa or anything). I never intended to date someone just because he's "American"; it just happened this way both times. And I guess since I am very active on international penpal forums and language exchange websites (I have been an active snail mailer worldwide since I was 13), finding a partner from another country is not too suprising either. The point being, I love my fiancé and I can't wait to finally be with him after two years of an LDR. BUT I am so so so extremely worried and scared about the interview at the embassy! What if they ask me about prior stays in the US? By then, I will have to admit that I was in the US before visiting my ex-bofriend, and that'll surely raise some red flags, right? All I can say is that both of these relationships are bona-fide, but what if the embassy does not think so? I am getting more and more scared about the interview by the minute!

Anyone who has been in a situation like that before? Or even any hints on how to deal with the situation would be appreciated!! I am so worried I am probably going to have sleepless nights for weeks before the interview.

Edited May 11, 2012 by Okie83

[Pitaya 2,577]

Hi all,

I realize my question is rather country-specific, but I could not find anyone else in Germany with similar experiences, so I decided to give it a try on here.

Me (German beneficiary) and my fiancé (petitioner) have been together for almost two years and just started our K1 application in March. We originally met online. So far so good. Unfortunately, I used to date another American before. We were together for two-and-a-half years prior to my current relationship, but broke up because he was cheating and lying to me, and had problems with gambling and drinking (not wanting to go into detail). We had met online as well on a penpal forum (however, we'd never applied for a K1 visa or anything). I never intended to date someone just because he's "American"; it just happened this way both times. And I guess since I am very active on international penpal forums and language exchange websites (I have been an active snail mailer worldwide since I was 13), finding a partner from another country is not too suprising either. The point being, I love my fiancé and I can't wait to finally be with him after two years of an LDR. BUT I am so so so extremely worried and scared about the interview at the embassy! What if they ask me about prior stays in the US? By then, I will have to admit that I was in the US before visiting my ex-bofriend, and that'll surely raise some red flags, right? All I can say is that both of these relationships are bona-fide, but what if the embassy does not think so? I am getting more and more scared about the interview by the minute!

Anyone who has been in a situation like that before? Or even any hints on how to deal with the situation would be appreciated!! I am so worried I am probably going to have sleepless nights for weeks before the interview.

Wie gehts. Welcome to the forum.

A couple of things, you have a long time before you MAY have a K-1 visa interview. Above all, be truthful, answer their questions fully, but there is no need to volunteer information. Yes, you will have to tell them about your previous tourist (assuming) visa stays in the US. Concentrate on demonstrating that your current relationship is stable, bonafide and ongoing. Carefully read and heed all of the requirements necessary for the K-1 visa. Review the Guides section of the forum for good examples of evidence needed to convince the consulate official of the true intentions of your visa petition and the validity of your relationship.

Review prior forum threads, this same situation has been discussed many times before. It is very likely that others will also respond.

Good luck on your visa journey.

[C-ma'am 684]

Hi all,

I realize my question is rather country-specific, but I could not find anyone else in Germany with similar experiences, so I decided to give it a try on here.

Me (German beneficiary) and my fiancé (petitioner) have been together for almost two years and just started our K1 application in March. We originally met online. So far so good. Unfortunately, I used to date another American before. We were together for two-and-a-half years prior to my current relationship, but broke up because he was cheating and lying to me, and had problems with gambling and drinking (not wanting to go into detail). We had met online as well on a penpal forum (however, we'd never applied for a K1 visa or anything). I never intended to date someone just because he's "American"; it just happened this way both times. And I guess since I am very active on international penpal forums and language exchange websites (I have been an active snail mailer worldwide since I was 13), finding a partner from another country is not too suprising either. The point being, I love my fiancé and I can't wait to finally be with him after two years of an LDR. BUT I am so so so extremely worried and scared about the interview at the embassy! What if they ask me about prior stays in the US? By then, I will have to admit that I was in the US before visiting my ex-bofriend, and that'll surely raise some red flags, right? All I can say is that both of these relationships are bona-fide, but what if the embassy does not think so? I am getting more and more scared about the interview by the minute!

Anyone who has been in a situation like that before? Or even any hints on how to deal with the situation would be appreciated!! I am so worried I am probably going to have sleepless nights for weeks before the interview.

Hi While I am not from Germany, I have a similar experience to yours (including having pen pals since I was 13). I have also dated an American before (12 years ago). We dated on and off for 4 years and we broke up (also because of similar circumstances to yours + drugs).

In fact, if it hadn't been because I was in THAT relationship, Craig (my very soon to be husband) and I never would have known of each others existence... which means that Craig and I have known each other for 12 years, but we've been in a relationship for 2....

So, at my interview, the CO asked me..... Why did you wait 10 years to be in a relationship? (with Craig, that is) And my answer was: Because I was in another relationship and I wasn't interested on anything other than a friendship. She didn't ask anything else and didn't ask about the nationality of my ex boyfriend.... but she knew that I had MANY visits to the US on the period of time we were talking about... so she could have assumed (or not).

Regardless, it shouldn't be a problem. It's not a crime to be attacked to people from other countries other than ours ... Can you imagine if it was?

Don't worry about it

PS: And yes! Just like A7B said... Always be truthful with your responses, but NEVER volunteer information. If they don't ask you, you don't need to say anything about it... leave the ex-boyfriend thoughts out the door, it's not important... so don't make it important

Edited May 11, 2012 by Celeste & C

[rocks 494]

I had only visited once previous to meeting my husband and I was never asked about that trip or the purpose of it at the interview. Is there a reason you think they might ask you about this? Did you visit a lot of times? Germany isn't a high risk country, if it comes up then just be honest and explain.

[HK12 273]

Wie gehts. Welcome to the forum.

A couple of things, you have a long time before you MAY have a K-1 visa interview. Above all, be truthful, answer their questions fully, but there is no need to volunteer information. Yes, you will have to tell them about your previous tourist (assuming) visa stays in the US. Concentrate on demonstrating that your current relationship is stable, bonafide and ongoing. Carefully read and heed all of the requirements necessary for the K-1 visa. Review the Guides section of the forum for good examples of evidence needed to convince the consulate official of the true intentions of your visa petition and the validity of your relationship.

Review prior forum threads, this same situation has been discussed many times before. It is very likely that others will also respond.

Good luck on your visa journey.

Thank you! I know that I still have a long wait before me (and I know which documents and evidence I'll have to gather until the interview), but this is one major issue that I have in mind and that is really bugging me. I could not find any discussions on this before (I'm still somewhat new here, so... sorry). I am just worried that the embassy might interpret my answers in a wrong way and will reject me because of a risk of fraud.

[L+T 71]

Your problem is a non-issue, and only in your head. You don't even need visa to enter usa, why they would suspect you of fraud?

[HK12 273]

Hi While I am not from Germany, I have a similar experience to yours (including having pen pals since I was 13). I have also dated an American before (12 years ago). We dated on and off for 4 years and we broke up (also because of similar circumstances to yours + drugs).

In fact, if it hadn't been because I was in THAT relationship, Craig (my very soon to be husband) and I never would have known of each others existence... which means that Craig and I have known each other for 12 years, but we've been in a relationship for 2....

So, at my interview, the CO asked me..... Why did you wait 10 years to be in a relationship? (with Craig, that is) And my answer was: Because I was in another relationship and I wasn't interested on anything other than a friendship. She didn't ask anything else and didn't ask about the nationality of my ex boyfriend.... but she knew that I had MANY visits to the US on the period of time we were talking about... so she could have assumed (or not).

Regardless, it shouldn't be a problem. It's not a crime to be attacked to people from other countries other than ours ... Can you imagine if it was?

Don't worry about it

PS: And yes! Just like A7B said... Always be truthful with your responses, but NEVER volunteer information. If they don't ask you, you don't need to say anything about it... leave the ex-boyfriend thoughts out the door, it's not important... so don't make it important

Hello Celeste!

Thank you so much - that really made me cheer up. I enjoyed reading your story, and of course your experience at the embassy. As you said, it is not a crime to fall in love with someone from another country, but still those thoughts of being rejected are running through my head. Aww, maybe I am just thinking too much and should give my brain some rest

I have thousands of e-mails, letters, photos, and other proof of an ongoing relationship with my fiancé, so that shouldn't be a problem at all. If they ask me about my prior stays in the US, I will be honest and tell them, and explain the situation to them if they ask.

You know, it's just freaking me out that this 15-, maybe 30-minute interview will determine my future! I don't like the feeling that other people decide about my life. I guess who does? But we have to do what we have to do.

Are you already in the US now? Good luck on your journey, and have a GREAT wedding!

[HK12 273]

I had only visited once previous to meeting my husband and I was never asked about that trip or the purpose of it at the interview. Is there a reason you think they might ask you about this? Did you visit a lot of times? Germany isn't a high risk country, if it comes up then just be honest and explain.

I visited my ex-boyfriend three times in the US and my fiancé twice. I am just worried because a friend of mine had her interview today, and she was asked to tell the CO about all of her prior stays in the US. If this question comes up in my interview, I assume telling them that I stayed in the same small town in Texas three times will make them raise an eye brow and ask what I did there. And then there will be no other way than telling them the truth and saying that I used to have an ex-boyfriend in America before. Yuck!

Your problem is a non-issue, and only in your head. You don't even need visa to enter usa, why they would suspect you of fraud?

I hope it is only in my head! I guess I am really worrying too much.

[rocks 494]

I visited my ex-boyfriend three times in the US and my fiancé twice. I am just worried because a friend of mine had her interview today, and she was asked to tell the CO about all of her prior stays in the US. If this question comes up in my interview, I assume telling them that I stayed in the same small town in Texas three times will make them raise an eye brow and ask what I did there. And then there will be no other way than telling them the truth and saying that I used to have an ex-boyfriend in America before. Yuck!

Just be honest, they will be able to see you are telling the truth. Your story sounds very feasible to me!

[C-ma'am 684]

Hello Celeste!

Thank you so much - that really made me cheer up. I enjoyed reading your story, and of course your experience at the embassy. As you said, it is not a crime to fall in love with someone from another country, but still those thoughts of being rejected are running through my head. Aww, maybe I am just thinking too much and should give my brain some rest

I have thousands of e-mails, letters, photos, and other proof of an ongoing relationship with my fiancé, so that shouldn't be a problem at all. If they ask me about my prior stays in the US, I will be honest and tell them, and explain the situation to them if they ask.

You know, it's just freaking me out that this 15-, maybe 30-minute interview will determine my future! I don't like the feeling that other people decide about my life. I guess who does? But we have to do what we have to do.

Are you already in the US now? Good luck on your journey, and have a GREAT wedding!

Oh darling, believe me, I understand! I was a so nervous and I also kept the ex-boyfriend thoughts get to me.. UNTIL I talked about it to one of my friends and she pointed out that I was making a HUGE deal out of it. Give the issue, the importance it deserves... NONE

Be confident that your love and relationship are true, and there's nothing that can stop you from a future together. Just make sure to have all the documentation they ask for and things that show that you and your other half have a relationship.

Everything will be OK

And yes, I'm in the US and we are getting married next month. We won't be doing anything BIG but, although it wasn't our initial idea, we'll be having a reception after all. Thank you for the good wishes!

[HK12 273]

Oh darling, believe me, I understand! I was a so nervous and I also kept the ex-boyfriend thoughts get to me.. UNTIL I talked about it to one of my friends and she pointed out that I was making a HUGE deal out of it. Give the issue, the importance it deserves... NONE

Be confident that your love and relationship are true, and there's nothing that can stop you from a future together. Just make sure to have all the documentation they ask for and things that show that you and your other half have a relationship.

Everything will be OK

And yes, I'm in the US and we are getting married next month. We won't be doing anything BIG but, although it wasn't our initial idea, we'll be having a reception after all. Thank you for the good wishes!

I just sent you a Private Message.

[Tinchen_ 21]

hi HK12..

i havent been in your situation. but i agree with A&B just be honest with ur forms u going to fill out down the line in your process and be honest at your interview.

from my frankfurt experience they are really nice and helpful at the embassy. i dont think its going to be a problem at all with your ex boyfriend ..

wish you best of luck on ur k1 journey :)

[AmyWrites 593]

I'm not from Germany and I'm applying for a marriage visa, but it did come up in the interview, my husband was asked multiple times if he had dated Americans before. Just be honest. People get together and break up, it's normal, you'll be fine.

[John and Ann 10]

Wie gehts. Welcome to the forum.

A couple of things, you have a long time before you MAY have a K-1 visa interview. Above all, be truthful, answer their questions fully, but there is no need to volunteer information. Yes, you will have to tell them about your previous tourist (assuming) visa stays in the US. Concentrate on demonstrating that your current relationship is stable, bonafide and ongoing. Carefully read and heed all of the requirements necessary for the K-1 visa. Review the Guides section of the forum for good examples of evidence needed to convince the consulate official of the true intentions of your visa petition and the validity of your relationship.

Review prior forum threads, this same situation has been discussed many times before. It is very likely that others will also respond.

Good luck on your visa journey.

I have to agree with everything here. As far as visiting "A Friend before in USA"....you didn't apply for 129f before? so don't volunteer info, but I'd recom you visited a friend, because thats all it turned out to be; and read and follow the guides and forums here on this site. Who has had relationships that didn't work out ?!! Good luck!

[HK12 273]

I have to agree with everything here. As far as visiting "A Friend before in USA"....you didn't apply for 129f before? so don't volunteer info, but I'd recom you visited a friend, because thats all it turned out to be; and read and follow the guides and forums here on this site. Who has had relationships that didn't work out ?!! Good luck!

No, my ex-bf didn't apply for an I-129F or anything. I don't know if "visiting a friend" instead of "visiting my ex-boyfriend" would not possibly raise more questions about why I visited that "friend" so often in the US for about two years - and then suddenly the visits stopping.

Besides, upon arrival in the US I had always told the IO that I was visiting my boyfriend. I am sure they still have that somewhere stored in their electronic files, right?